Disclaimers from the gang!
McKay: Hi all… ummm… due to copyright laws and all… we have to disown all the songs featured in the… musical. (coughcough)
Sheppard: That's enough Rodney, just get to the point.
Weir: Yeah, I'm sick of standing out here.
Teyla and Ford come out to. Teyla puts her hands on her hips impatiently.
Teyla: I need to get my beauty sleep major!
Sheppard: Wasn't me! It was those copyright laws… and Weir…
McKay: (yawn)
Sheppard: Anyway the first song went to… umm…
Ford: Kolya… but he can't speak for himself… he did Hey Jude by the Beatles.
Sheppard: God that was bad…
All: Amen.
Teyla: Who was next?
Ford: I believe it was one of the Wraith… must have been Steve, since Bob took his revenge on Steve's death…
Sheppard: Yeah yeah yeah! That's right, he starting singing We Will Rock You by Queen.
McKay: That he did… (yawn)
Ford: And after that lame attempt of revenge? Who was next… I don't remember it being very good…
Sheppard: That's because you have NO taste in music… it was Beckett… he was singing Take It Easy by the Eagles.
Teyla, thoughtfully: I like the Eagles.
Sheppard: Good… we can have an Eagles party… let's go and leave this lame stuff to the fic writers.
Seanait, Nightpheonix, and Weir: GET BACK THERE!
Everyone whimpers.
McKay: Okay… that takes on a whole new meaning of "Big Brother watches over us."
Sheppard: More like "Big Sisters watch over us." I can see them all gleaming with pride up there…
Ford: Probably…
Teyla: Let us get this lame part over with, shall we?
Sheppard: Yeah… next?
They all start to laugh.
Sheppard: Well? Who!
Teyla: I believe it was you major.
Ford: Yeah sir… with your dying pigeon dance!
McKay: I see it now… Major John Sheppard and his rendition of Edward H.'s War. Or whatever it's called… what's his name anyway? I can never seem to remember it…
Sheppard: It's four letters right?
Ford: Yeah.. it's umm… what is it?
McKay: WAIT! I got his name all wrong… it's Edwin Starr.
Ford: Like Ringo Starr?
McKay: Sort of, but Ringo Starr's name is a pseudonym.
Ford: A what?
Sheppard: A false name. His real name is Richard Starkey.
Teyla: I can see why he changed it…
Ford: Oh no… Bob was next…
Sheppard puts his head in his hands.
McKay: Sympathy for the Wraith? Now who manipulates a great song like Sympathy for the Devil like that?
Sheppard, Ford, and Teyla: The Wraith.
McKay: Good point.
Sheppard: And that's by the Rolling Stones.
McKay: Exactly. Now the guitar thing… that was weird.
Ford: Yeah I thought so too…
Sheppard: Me three.
Teyla: I fourth?
Sheppard: Haha… after that was the intermission…
McKay: Damn I'm starving after that! (picks up some food next to him and eats it.) PAH! LEMONS! WHO PLANTED THIS HERE! BATES!
All start to snicker as McKay rampages.
Sheppard: Anyway… who was after that? (mutters) Bloody puddlebox.
It comes zooming from offstage, nails Sheppard in the head, and keeps going.
McKay: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sheppard: Daaaaamn! That was strange! Ow…
Teyla: The band started to play Michael Jackson's Thiller for me.
She does a little more moonwalking.
Ford to McKay: Dang is she good…
McKay: Yeah…
Sheppard: Hey! McKay, you started singing All Across the Universe by the Beatles didn't you?
McKay: Actually, yeah!
Teyla: Then you all sang and the room rumbled.
Sheppard: Jai guru daya…
All: Ommm…
(Rumble)
McKay: See, now that's just weird!
Ford, chuckling: Then you and Zelenka couldn't help but sing Two Of Us also by the Beatles.
McKay: We like that song!
Sheppard: Uh huh… little too much fun…
McKay: Oh yeah? Well then you started singing the theme song to Mission: Impossible.
Sheppard blushes.
McKay: HA!
Ford: He got you there sir.
Teyla: That he did.
McKay looks proud.
Sheppard grins at the next part: Ah yes, then Elizabeth starting singing Rescue Me by Motown. And somebody got a little jealous.
McKay, blushing: I did not!
Teyla and Ford snicker loudly again.
McKay: Hey!
Teyla: It is your own fault doctor.
Sheppard: She has a point there McKay, but then you slapped really bad!
McKay blushes even deeper.
McKay: Shut up…
Sheppard: Oh wait… missed one song… after I got rescued Weir sang Dream On by Aerosmith to Rodney, didn't she?
Ford: Oh yeah!
Teyla: I believe you are easy to target as you say…
Ford: Sir… act four you started to sing our Atlantis song… you know the one where people wanted to get on the show?
Sheppard: Actually, I believe the credit goes to SG-1…
Ford: Ah…
McKay: That explains a lot.
Sheppard, grins slyly: And everyone knows what was after that?
All except Rodney: I like pink Wraiths!
They start laughing hysterically.
McKay: Maaaan… what have I done?
Ford: Then, sir, you started It's the End of the World As We know It or whatever it's called, by REM and Weir, McKay, and I joined in.
Sheppard: That you did!
Teyla: Then we all decided to sing We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel.
Sheppard: How'd you know that?
Teyla: Doctor Weir tells me these things…
Sheppard: Good point.
McKay: That was a huge song.
Ford: I'd have to agree.
Sheppard: Then who was next? Or what was next?
Teyla: Well, Bates again accused me of working for the Wraith.
She growls.
Ford: That's definitely not normal…
Teyla: The Wraith part of me can be overwhelming sometimes…
All step away from her.
Sheppard: Oh?
Teyla: Never mind major… can you not take a joke?
Ford, nervously: Oh, see, she was kidding!
Sheppard: Yess…. Then Weir killed Everett.
McKay: Thank god… he nevers paid attention to us scientists, but no when the whole city croaked…
All: He finally listened.
Sheppard: We know Rodney… next song anyone?
They all think hard.
McKay: Me with A Hole in the World Tonight by the Eagles.
Sheppard: Riiight… and the tomato I believe. How'd that taste?
McKay: Great…
Teyla: Then McKay assaulted you major…
Ford: That's true!
Sheppard: (grumble mumble…)
McKay, ignores last comment: And then…
All: The Moody Atlantians!
McKay: Heh, if we had a newspaper in Atlantis, the headline would be… "AT-1 and Comp. Perform Moody Blues Question."
Sheppard: That was a great song. With the lights and all! Ford, I didn't know you could play guitar.
Ford: I didn't know you could either sir.
Teyla: Then came the infamous Act 5.
All groan.
McKay: My back's killing me.
Sheppard: Well, you did fall from the puddlebox…
McKay: Good point.
Ford: I don't think act 5, in places, was nearly as good as the others.
Sheppard, sarcasm: Well, I wonder why… maybe because… we didn't want to do it?
Ford: Touché.
Sheppard: Thank you.
Teyla: And we all sang Dirty Water who is by… we never figured that out did we?
Sheppard: Nope… is it by Boston?
Ford: I didn't think so…
McKay: Lemme think for a sec…nope, gotta blank…
Random person: The Standells!
All: The Standells?
McKay: I thought they were just oldies…
Ford: Me too.
Sheppard: Me three.
Teyla Who are they? And what about Dr. Kavanau-
Sheppard: Don't go there…
Teyla: Where?
Ford: It's an expression Teyla. It means don't bring up the subject. Kavanaugh doesn't deserve recognition.
Teyla: But the song must.
Sheppard: No one knows who first sang it, but… Mr. Golden Sun by anonymous child.
McKay: What makes you think a child first sang it?
Sheppard: Seems reasonable.
Ford: Besides the fact that children don't generally come up with songs.
Teyla: He is right; very few people can do that...
Sheppard: Ah hush, we're done here. You guys can release us now!
Doors open to reveal Weir and the two writers.
Weir: Good job, now we won't be hunted down for bad disclaimers on songs…
Seanait: Even if we did change the lyrics here and there.
Nightpheonix: You guys can leave.
They get 50 feet from the door.
Nightpheonix and Seanait: Get ready for next season!
All groan audibly.
