Ugh... I looked over teh last chapter and notcied a bunch of spelling errors... I shall fix them later... anyways, here's chapter four! enjoy:)


"... So, let me get this straight..." Ms. Lennon said after I had explained what was going on, "We're trapped in a video game... have been turned into elves with unusually large ears-"

"Some of us animals!" Stevie and Emily both said at the same time.

"Don't interupt when the teacher is speaking," Ms. Lennon hissed at the two, then continued, "... and we have no way we can get back?"

"What if we try to jump through you laptop, Ms. Lennon?" Taylor suggested, "after all, that's how we came to be here."

"I dun think that'll work," I said, "how're we supposed to fit through a laptop?"

"THAT'S HOW WE GOT HERE!" Alison yelled.

"Buuut..." I said, "the laptop wasn't solid, now it is." I poked the screen of the laptop, making a little tapping noise. "you guys got here when the laptop's screen wasn't solid."

"So, what the fuck are we supposed to do?" Alex said, then saw Ms. Lennon glare at him, "Let me guess," he continued, "No cursing in school? Well, in case you haven't noticed, WE'RE NOT IN SCHOOL! IT'S A FREE COUNTRY, YOU KNOW!"

"Actually, no it's not," Alison corrected him, "in America, you would be right, but in Haven City, you're wrong." Alex ignored her.

I sighed, "look, let's just try to get along so we don't wind up ripping each other's throats out. Sound good?"

Nothing.

"SOUND GOOD?" I repeated. Then, everyone nodded.


While everyone was getting to know one another, I noticed something missing. I counted the heads of everyone: Taylor, Sam, Stevie, Emily, Angelo, Alex, Kyle, Thomas... where was Alison. Then I realized something: she could've only gone to one place: the Ungerground hideout, probably to hug Torn to death. I sighed, then walked over to Jak and Daxter who were talking to Thomas.

"Are you positive you're not related to Krew?" Daxter asked poor Thomas.

"NO, I'm NOT! Now, leave me alone!" Thomas said, sounding like he was annoyed.

"Ahem," I coughed. Daxter looked down at me from Jak's shoulder, Jak folloing his friend's gaze. "We have a problem," I said.

Once I had gathered up Jak, Daxter, Sam, Stevie, and Emily, we all left the Hip Hog. "What's this all about?" Sam asked me, looking confused, "and where's Alison?"

I jumped onto her shoulder and whispered in her ear: "Remeber Alison's, um, "obssesion" with Torn?" "Yeah..." she said, "What's your point...? Oooooohh..." "Exactally," I said.


Once we had gotten to the hideout, we saw poor Torn, sitting on top of a box holding a pistol to love-struck Alison, who was sitting crosslegged on the floor staring up at Torn. "Stay... away..." Torn said, his pistol shaking in his hands. We walked in and Torn shot his head in our direction, still keeping the gun to Alison's head. "Is this yours?" he hissed at us, but didn't wait for an answer, "All of a sudden, as I'm studying maps of Haven, this comes in and tried to glomp me. Scaring the shit out of me."

"Alison..." I said. Her eyes shifted from Torn to me.

"Yesh?" she asked.

"Come," I said, as if she was a dog. She frowned, got up, and walked over to us with her head down. "I said to stay in the Hip Hog," I continued, "but do you? No. You come over here and give poor Torn a heart attack."

"How do you know my name?" Torn asked looking confused. He had gotten off the box and had put his pistol away.

"It's a long story," I replied. What else could I say?

Torn beckoned Jak and Daxter, probably to send them on another mission. "Sam, take Alison back to the Hip Hog," I said. "Okay," she replied, "C'mon Alison." They both walked out of the hideout. "What about us?" Stevie said, walking over to me, Emily following. "You... go do whatever you want," I said, then yawned. "What about you?" Emily squeaked. "Why don't we just all go back to the Hip Hog?" Stevie suggested. "Okay, I guess," me and Emily said at the same time.


Back at the Hip Hog, Alex and Angelo had gotten drunk and were now manipulating conversations in something perverted.Ms. Lennon was on her laptop, Thomas was trying to convince Tess thathe wasn't related to Krew in anyway, Kyle was talking to Krew- unwillingly- and me and my friends were chatting. We had noticed that there were quite a few people in the Hip Hog- besides everyone that had come flying through that damn laptop of Ms. Lennon's. Alex and Angelo decided to come over, and turn our simple conversation into something perverted and wrong. My eye twitched; these boys were sick, but, to my surprise, Sam was laughing at their perverted joke. So like Sam. I was getting annoyed at these retarts, as were the others- besides Sam, laughing her little head off- so, I decided to do what I do best to get rid of them: rant.

Alex and Angelo were snorting with laughter, drunken laughter. I jumped off of my chair and onto the table in front of the two morons. They stopped laughing and looked at me. "Can I help you with summin'?" Alex hiccuped. "I think you've had your fun you little perverts," I hissed, "Now, leave."

"Or what?" Angelo snorted, "You'll kill us with your nuts?" They both laughed. Shitheads. I began my rant: "You see, people like you need to be killed. I'm sick and tired of people warping simple conversations into something perveted. It's unnecessary, it's stupid, and it just shows that you're thinkin' with your sexual organ rather than your brain. In this being the case, someone should glue your mouth to your butt, so that they may illustrate the fact that truly, indeed, suck ass. I'm sick and tired of some inconherent asshole who smells like a case of malt liquor all of a sudden talking about the philosophy of life while trying to pick upsome woman at a bar. Nice. And what's worse is those freakin' dolts who go around and actually tell you how fucked up they got the night before; like they deserved some type of award for falling face first into a patch of tomatoes in your backyard at four AM in the morning."

They both stared at me dumbfounded for a secdon before Alex said drunkenly: "Afore I (hiccup) came 'ere, Ifucked wit' yo momma!" then they both laughed for about five mintues. Five mintued of drunken laughter. Nice. And once they had stopped, I looked that dumbass Alex straight in the eye and said:

"Well, that's too bad, while you were wasting your time trying to get laid by old ladies, I carved our your mother's eye sockest with a razor blade and then sold her blind ass to the Japanese mafia and they're been shoving flesh eating carrion ants into her ass and videotaped it for internet broadcasting." Now that, was and insult, my friends. And if that didn't work I could always say that 'I carves you name on the inside of her unterus with a butter knife while she was having oral sex with the family dog.' Buuuuuut... I didn't want to go that far... and besides, I didn't have to 'cause they left shortly after that.


"What do you mean you wanna go look for a new pair of pants?" I said. Sam had told me that she wanted to go out to look for a pair of pants. "What's wrong with the ones you're wearing?"

She sighed. "I want a pair of pants that I can wear to bed! Not these uncomfortable pants; which give me a hernia everytime I try to sleep in them."

"That's freakin' impossible, you retart! Ya can't get a hernia from too tigh of pants. And besides, why do I have to go? Can't you go shopping from your own pair of PJ pants?"

She gave me the lower lip. "Damn it!" I said, "That always works on me! Ugh, fine. I'll come."

"Damn it!" Sam cursed, "why can't I find a pair of pants without some sexy logo on the ass of it? And something not cut so low that people can see my ass cleavage?"

"Ewww..." my eye twitched, "You humans have this overwhelming fascination with the ugliest parts of the human body."

"Hey," she said, "you were once a human too."

"Yeah, but did you ever hear me say: 'Hey, that guy has a sexy ass.'?"

"...No."

"Exactly my point. Hey, what about this one?" I held up a pair of purple pants that said: 'Cockmaster' on the butt of it.

"Cockmaster? I think I'll pass."

"Why? What's wrong with advertising that you are in control of a large farm bird?"

"Er... that's not what it means..."

"Ooooh it's one of those dual meanings, I get it! Oh, wait, what about this then?" I held up one that said 'Big Pussy' on it. "It shows your appreciation for GIANT CATS!"

"Big Pussy?"

Wait, don't tell me... dual meaning!"

"Oh yeah..."

"Oh, oh, wait! What about this one?" I held up one that said "Show Me Dick' on it. "This one displays that you want to see a guy named 'Richard' RICHARD!"

"Okay, we're leaving."

I began singing: "Where are you Richard? We cannot find you now. I want to talk to Richard. Whooo Richard!"


"So, any luck with the quest of finding pants?" Stevie asked us once we had gotten back.

"No," I said, "Sam couldn't find anything without a perverted and/or sexy logo on the ass of it." Sam's eye twitched. "I'm never going out pants shopping with you again," she said to me. "Hey," I said, "it's your fault for taking me out to go pants shopping with you." She glared at me.

"Well, it is."


aaaaand... that's all I shall write for this chapter... fell asleep and two in the morning last night... and I have a sleepvoer partay to go to... -- oi... anyways, review please:)

-ebony