----
A.N Hmm… I don't know if 3 pages is classified as longer… but here it is! .ScarletFlame: Yes, Aussie publishers suck VERILY! .
----
Living with Peregrine Walters was actually a hell of a lot harder than it seemed. I said before she had her ups and downs – but as those first few months with her went on, I found out she not only had ups and downs, but twists and turns and lefts and rights and every other direction imaginable. She was like a particularly nasty algebraic equation – one minute, you thought you had her figured out, the next, she had gone off and become something even more complex. It was, actually, quite annoying.
In the beginning we moved around a lot, doing odd jobs here and there to keep our wallets full of money, but never settling down. I liked it at first. We were always on the move. I could have almost forgotten all about my oath during that time.
But then, one day, when we arrived at another town, she set her foot down and firmly told me:
"Right then. Tomorrow, my young apprentice, we shall start your training. Now get some sleep. It will be the last you'll get for quite some time."
Did I mention Perri had an obsession with Star Wars? And that she could do a quite convincing Darth Sidius impersonation? Well, now you know. It was just one of her many annoying habits.
Anyway, the next day, I woke to her grinning face leaning over mine, that tattoo winking as usual.
"Morning!" She boomed, making me spring from my bed. Her cat-like grin just spread further as she grabbed me by the back of my shirt and dragged me towards the shower. "I want you in and out of that shower in under two minutes, got that?"
I didn't need to be told twice.
One minute and forty-nine seconds later, I came shuffling out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my midriff, hair (which was now shorter, styled and somewhat cleaner, thanks to Perri) sopping wet, and shivering madly. Perri, who had been leaning on the doorway, raised an eyebrow at my entrance.
"R-r-r-ran out-t-ta h-h-h-ot w-w-w-ater," I stuttered as an explanation. She just shook her head and waited in the adjoining room for me to get dressed.
Not long after, she had dragged me from the warm hotel to some kind of open park out in the freezing cold morning. All the way there my teeth wouldn't stop chattering, despite my long scarf, new gloves, and long coat – all courtesy of Perri, of course. She seemed determined to make me at least look the part of vampire hunter.
"It's freezing out here!" I cried, watching my warm breath billowing in a cloud of steam in front of my face. She just grinned that annoying grin at me.
"Don't worry. Once I'm done, kiddo, you'll feel like you're in the middle of bushfire season back where I came from," she told me.
Well, she was partly right. The first thing she made me do was stretch and do a long jog around the park. She ran along beside me the whole time, snapping at me to keep a steady pace and never falter. Perri didn't tell me when to stop – I just kept running round and round, until finally I collapsed, my lungs screaming for air, my legs as heavy as logs. She came to a halt beside me, breathing heavily herself – but no where near as bad as me.
"Well, your fitness level definitely has to be worked on," she mused, tutting to herself. I glared up at her through my hair, too tired to make a comeback. She shrugged. "Just get your breath back. Then we'll get on with it."
She made me do push-ups next. When my arms collapsed, unable to take anymore, she got me to lie on my back and do sit-ups. No, not normal sit-ups – crunches, twists, you name it, she made me do it. When my stomach decided to cramp up, she got me to do leg-raises. Followed by chin-ups. Lunges. Swallows. Tricep dips. Name a muscle group, she had an exercise for it. She left nothing untouched. Okay, well some things were saved. I mean, I don't think there are any actual workouts for your ears. You never know, though.
When every part of my body was sufficiently dead, Perri told me to stay where I was for a while, and disappeared off. Not that I could have moved anywhere. My legs had decided they didn't want me to stand up. All I could do was lie on the ground, staring up at the blue sky. Even my mind was completely blank. I had trouble remembering why I was putting myself through all this torture. And then, of course, the palm of my left hand began to tingle, and I remembered exactly what I was doing.
"Oi, time to wake up, padawan," Perri – for it could only have been Perri – said as she nudged me with her shoe. I groaned, blinking against the glare of the sun as I looked up at her. I could just make out the savage grin on her face.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I growled. That grin of hers just spread even further.
"Why yes. Yes I am. Are you done resting yet?"
"Please, no more!" I groaned. She just rolled her eyes, and I felt something land heavily onto my stomach.
"Eat up and have a drink," she called over her shoulder as she began walking off. "After that, we start the hard stuff."
I groaned again, sitting up and peered into the paper bag she had left behind. Inside was a doughnut and a bottle of water. I rose an eyebrow.
"A doughnut?"
"It's full of sugar. Sugar equals instant energy. Eat it all up, it's the last one you'll eat for a looooong time, kiddo," she called from her spot under the trees, some way off. I scowled and scoffed the food down, and emptied the bottle in two gulps. Once done, I shakily stood up. She dusted off her behind and made her way back towards me. Again, she was smiling slyly.
"What the hell are you thinking about now?" I moaned. She laughed.
"Now, I get to teach you how to do a proper karate chop."
I couldn't help but groan one more time. My body was already protesting, but that didn't stop her.
Perri began to teach me how to fight.
And so it was, every five days for the next few months. Perri would wake me up early in the morning and take me on a jog, until I could run as far as her without collapsing. That was followed by the workout. Then followed by her karate lesson. I had two days break, where I could sleep and rejuvenate my body. Somehow, she managed to train me just to the right point – I would be in pain the first day, but the next day I would be able to bounce right out of bed without feeling too much strain.
Living with her was getting increasingly annoying as well. One time I accidentally walked into the bathroom while she was in there. She had just been stepping out of the shower, and was reaching for the towel, when I blundered in. I kind of just stared, blinking dumbly. She calmly raised an eyebrow, standing straight.
"What, the first time you've seen a naked woman?" She asked calmly. I must have turned bright red, my face felt so hot. I muttered my apologies, and quickly ran from the room. I couldn't look her in the eye for the rest of the day – yet, somehow, she still managed to smile whenever she looked at me.
The next day, just as I had finished my shower, she came walking in. I froze. So did she. Then, coughing into her hand, she backed out of the room. That first time, I knew it was payback.
She did the same thing the next night. This time she apologised as she backed out, and was kind enough to avert her eyes. Two times now – I guess it was just bad luck.
The night after that, though, after one particularly hard training day which had left nothing pain-free, she came stumbling in once again. This time, I knew it was no longer coincidence. Seeing my fuming face, she burst into laughter and once more backed out of the room.
By the time I stepped out of the bathroom, wearing my bedclothes, she was sitting in one of the lounge chairs, trying to stifle her laughter. I glared at her as she cleared her throat.
"Love the whole 'thin yet toned' physique thing you've got going on. Very attractive," she snorted.
I swore at her. Her eyes went round.
"'Fork' me? How the hell can I fork me?!" Perri cried, and began to laugh, harder than I had ever seen her laugh before. I began swearing at her so colourfully that even the foulest of sailors would have blushed. This just made her laugh even more. I whirled around and stalked from the room, slamming the door behind me.
It was only as I was walking away, her laughter stabbing my back like knives, did I realise she was laughing at my accent.
She came into the bedroom almost an hour later. I had been lying on my side in my bed in the dark, glaring at the wall opposite me. She didn't actually come into the room – just stood in the doorway. I could see she had her arms crossed, by the shape of her shadow.
"Hey, you know Steve, I'm just teasing you," she said softly. I didn't reply. "You're such easy bait…"
She trailed off. I waited for her to say more, or leave the room. And waited. And waited. Finally, she moved into the room and sat onto her bed, facing the wall opposite the one I was facing.
"It's just… you're like a little brother to me… I can't help it. You remind me so much of…" She paused, and I heard a sharp intake of breath. I turned my head slightly, just about to reply, but she had stood up and was walking out of the room.
"Goodnight, Steve."
And then she closed the door.
I was left to lie in the dark, feeling as confused as ever.
I sniffed and sneezed.
I wasn't just confused.
I was very confused.
