Disclaimer: Not mine. All Joss Whedon's, though I tend to borrow them and use them to my liking.
A/N: I am a horrible, horrible person for not updating this but I hope that I can be forgiven. I can promise that I will not allow another six months to go by without updating. I can't promise it'll be a lot but I can promise that it will not be six months. I'm so sorry and I hope that you all forgive me. Please, read and enjoy and if you've forgiven me, review.
Spike took one look at Xander with his arm around Buffy and he wanted to hit the brunette. But deciding against it, he looked up at both of them, arms crossed, no emotion on his face. Then his eyes met Buffy's and he wanted to take her into his. She looked tired. Pale. Skinny. What had she been going through the past few weeks was what he had to wonder. What made her look like she was going to break at any moment? He sighed, remembering what Willow had told him.
Dawn's sick.
Sliding his hands into his pockets he looked down and took a moment before looking back up at them. Xander had already dropped his arm from around the petite blonde and had moved out of the doorway so Spike could walk in.
"Buffy?" Xander said softly, "You want me to go?" Taking a few minutes with her arms crossed and her hand resting on her shoulder she nodded, looking up at Xander.
"Yeah, you better go." She whispered. "I'll call you or something." Xander nodded and after a few moments turned back towards Spike as he walked out the door.
"You make her upset in any way, you're going to have to deal with me again." He threatened, "Got it?" He practically growled as he glared at the blonde. Spike smirked and shook his head.
"Yeah, bloody got it already." He replied. Both watched Xander walk down the steps and down the sidewalk before they turned to one another. Buffy sighed, taking a deep breath in she looked down.
"Are you going to come in?" She asked quietly as she moved away from the doorway. "Don't forget to shut the door if you do." Buffy didn't bother looking back towards him as she walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, legs pulled up against her body. Spike followed her in and shut the door like she asked. When he walked into the living room he noticed the way the huge silence and the thoughts of death plagued her. Buffy had to get out of this house. But that'd take time.
"Where's the niblet?" He asked, still standing as he looked towards her, leaning against the fireplace. Buffy stared down at the carpet.
"In her room. We have to take her to the hospital tomorrow." Spike looked at her, she was like a robot and all she did was give up answers. He sighed and walked over to her, sitting on the opposite side of the couch.
"Why didn't you tell me Buffy?" He looked up towards her, noticing she was still staring down at the carpet. When she didn't even answer Spike sighed and leaned back into the couch. "You could've just told me Buffy. I wouldn't have made you go out with me if you wanted to stay home."
"That's not why I didn't tell you."
"Then why didn't you Buffy?"
"Because I felt guilty." It was all Buffy could really say. She couldn't look at him for a single second and it was killing her to not have his arms around her. Spike didn't seem to have radar that told him how she was feeling because he just sat there, not moving.
It took awhile before either of them talked to one another.
"How could you feel guilty?" Spike murmured as his turned up to look at her.
"I don't know Spike. Maybe it was because I knew that telling you, you'd immediately be at my side."
"Of course I would." Spike cut in.
"And I didn't want you to waste your time." Spike stopped himself from getting up. He looked down to the floor a moment and then, grabbing Buffy's hand, pulled her up against him as he stood.
"How dare you." He growled. Buffy tried moving away but Spike's hands dug into her wrists.
"Spike, you're hurting m-"
"Buffy, for once in your damn life shut the hell up." Spike hissed. Holding her arms he stared into her eyes, as she looked up at him, fearful. "Like I said, how. Dare. You." A murmur escaped her lips before Spike let her go and let her fall back into the chair. "You think that you're inside my head and you can tell me exactly how I want to spend me time?"
"That's not what I mean-"
"Let me finish. It seems to me that all you cared about was not letting anyone in. You didn't want to give me some of your burden. Thinking that it was only yours to take. What the hell did you think I was going to do? Complain?"
"I don't know, I just knew that with Dawn, I couldn't be with you." Spike rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh.
"You couldn't be with me because Dawn was sick?" Buffy eyed him warily as she looked up towards him. "I can't believe how selfish you are." Her brow raised.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, I can't bloody well believe how damn selfish you are." Spike repeated.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Spike turned to the frail body that was now standing, and he tried to keep the smirk from appearing across his face. He had her. The fire was back in her eyes.
"It means that while your little sister is up there, fightin' for her bloody life, all you seem to think about it yourself." Buffy's jaw locked as she let her hands fall.
"Why you damn selfish son of a bit-"
"Yes, I know my Mum was, well, maybe is a bitch, but then again, I never knew her very well because she left me with my Dad. Now, if you're calling Anya a bitch well then Luv I'm just going to have to make sure that you take that back." Buffy started towards him, her arm raised. Just as she began to move her hand towards his cheek, Spike grinned, and grabbing her wrist pinned her against the wall. "Now, what do we have here? Ah, the fire."
"What. Fire?" Buffy growled. Spike smirked.
"The fire that's been lacking from your eyes. See, I called you selfish because you've about given up on your dear baby sister up there and have no bloody damn reason to. Have you a reason to give up Buffy? Do you want your sister dead?" Buffy tried the knee to the groin, but Spike moved just in time, he laughed.
"Let me go."
"Not until you answer the question, Pet. Do you have a reason to want your sister dead?"
"Of course not."
"Then why aren't you fighting for her?" Spike stated. Letting go of Buffy, he backed away slowly. Heading towards the door, he grabbed the doorknob and turned back to her, "When you feel like puttin' up a damn fight, you know where to find me."
Dawn sighed as she laid in bed, staring off out the window, waiting. She heard muffled voices downstairs and then the sound of the door shutting. Another visitor that didn't want to come up to see the sickly girl that lay there, with no hair. She sighed and closed her eyes a moment.
Tap.
Dawn groaned and turned away from the door. Better to keep Buffy out then see the look of sadness in her eyes.
Tap. Tap.
"What do you want Buf-?" Dawn started, opening her eyes, waiting for them to readjust to the light she smiled as she saw a figure by her window. Slowly, she tried getting out of bed, but before she could get the covers off, the window was open and a small breeze came in. She welcomed the fresh air, and the visitor. "Conner." She grinned.
"Well?" Willow stared towards Xander, wide eyed. "Did it work? Is he over there right now? Are they talking?" Xander smiled towards her, reaching out he cupped her face gently.
"Yeah, Red. They're talking." A grin came over Willow's face as she wrapped her arms around Xander tightly.
"I knew it would work. All we had to do was get them back in a room together."
"I'm not exactly sure that's the way it's going to go over with Buffy, Will." Xander said as he took her hand.
"What do you mean?"
"She's given up Will, I mean, there's nothing in her eyes anymore. No light, nothing." Willow's brow furrowed and she shook her head as they sat down. "And, not to be total party crasher on you, but babe, there's a chance that Dawnie might not pull through."
"I know that. But I won't believe that we can't keep Buffy from just becoming nothing. She can't. She's our best friend Xander." Xander nodded, wrapping his arm around Willow.
"I know." Willow's eyes began to form tears.
"She has to be here Xander." Willow said, pulling her legs up against her stomach as she leaned into Xander's arms. "She has to be here, to see." Xander kissed Willow's forehead gently as he held her close. Willow's arms had encircled her waist and one of Xander's hands rested against hers.
Over the small baby that was beginning to form inside.
"What are you doing here?" Dawn said softly, grinning as Conner sat down next to her and took her hand softly, kissing it. He smirked and raised a brow before turning towards the door. "It's okay. Buffy won't come up." She murmured.
"I came to see you." Dawn laughed a little and closed her eyes before hitting him lightly.
"I mean it silly." Conner grinned.
"I did. I came to see you." He slowly reached behind him and pulled out a magazine. "And I figured you'd want to catch up on all those silly soap operas you watch." Dawn's face lit up as she grabbed the Soap Opera Weekly from Conner's hands and immediately started flipping through the pages. "Geeze, give your girlfriend the soaps updates and you're ignored." Dawn blushed, biting her lower lip as she fought the temptation and put the magazine down.
"Sorry." Conner laughed.
"Hey, I was kidding. Lighten up babe. So, what's the sister done for you today? She come up and fluff your pillows recently?" Dawn smiled a little and sat up.
"No. She had to deal with another visitor." Conner raised a brow.
"Visitor? I thought she'd told everyone to leave her alone. I mean, that's what your parents told you, right?" Dawn nodded.
"Yeah, but someone was down there. I heard them. Well, I mean I heard muffled voices, not them." With a small smile, Dawn took Conner's hand and put it against her face. "So, how do I look today?"
"Same as yesterday." Conner started. Dawn's face began to fall in a frown but he continued. "Beautiful." She slowly smiled and shook her head. Holding his hand she gave it a soft squeeze.
"So have you talked to Spike recently?" Conner's face hardened and she sighed, "I thought you were going to tell him." Dawn started.
"I couldn't do it."
"But wha-"
"Dawn, there's things that I just can't talk to him about, not right now. And, it's not like your sister's told him anything." Dawn froze.
"What are you talking about?" Conner looked up at her, his brown hair falling in his face.
"You mean you didn't know?"
"Obviously not by the look of confusion on my face, Conner." He pushed his hair back with his hand.
"Look, it's nothing. Probably just something that they wanted to keep between themselves."
"Conner. Tell me." One look into Dawn's eyes and Conner knew that he was going to spill his guts.
Damn he hated being in love.
