Disclaimer: It isn't mine. As much as I want it to be, it's not. So cry me a river. One day, I will kidnap JK. Just watch. I will do that one day.

Reaka: Hello everyone! I'm glad my first chapter got such a great response! Here are my responses to the viewers.

Christi Mc-Intyre: I will definently use your suggestion. I was planning on doing that too. But which part to use...that would be the question. Thank you!

magereader895: Thank you so much! As much as I love the karaoke fics, it is getting to be a little much. So I had to do something different. haha.

Now that that's over with, here's some notes for what I'm going to do with the chapters from now on. Here's the lay down. Whenever an essay is being read, it will be italics. The actual movie part will be in bold text. It should be entertaining. Now here's chapter 1!

Broomsticks

The students filed into the Great Hall faster than ever the next morning. They were curious on what each of their peers had actually wrote about in their essay. When the last student was in the room, and everyone had eaten their fill at breakfast, Dumbledore stood up and silenced the crowd.

" Students, and teachers, this is the day you have all been waiting for. Today we'll be reading our papers and watching the movie that comes from them. No one has read these ahead of time, and this is the first time anyone has looked at them."

Dumbledore waved his wand, and then a box appeared in the sky. Suddenly, it dropped with a crash.

" These are your papers that you have written," Dumbledore explained. " I'm going to randomly select one essay from this box. The student, or teacher, that this belongs to will come up on stage and read it to the audience. The best movie we get wins. Professor Snape, will you do the honors of selecting the first box?"

Snape scowled as he got up from his chair and went to the box. He thrust his hand inside the box and pulled it out quickly as if he was being bitten by something inside. He handed it to Dumbledore and hurried back into his seat.

" The first essay will be ' If There were no Broomsticks in Hogwarts' by Dean Thomas."

Dean nervously got up from Gryffindor table and walked to the stage. The Gryffindors cheered him on enthusiastically while the Slytherins chanted things like, " Dean is gay! Dean is gay!" Gulping, Dean took his parchment from Dumbledore and stood up to the audience. The movie screen behind him turned into a silver color.

Hogwarts is the best place to go when you want a magical experience. We use our wands for magic, fly with our broomsticks, and we even play Quidditch with them. But what happens when there are no broomsticks? What do we use to fly around with then?

Kids were flying around on broomsticks, using their wands, and having a good old time playing Quidditch. Suddenly, all of the broomsticks disappear, and everyone flying around falls down on their butts. The kids get up and rub their butts in pain.

If there were no broomsticks in Hogwarts, it would not be as great of a place to live. But there would be an alternative to flying around. Professors would break into the houses of many innocent Muggles and steal the ketchup bottles from them, right under their nose.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape fly on their ketchup bottles to a Muggle city.

" Split up," Dumbledore said, " We need to get more ketchup bottles for our students! They're starting to run scarce in the wizarding world, and our young witches and wizards need to fly! Go! Steal more bottles!"

By pointing the opening of their ketchup bottles backwards, the professors squeezed them and pushed on forward to random chimneys of Muggle houses. Snape stopped directly on top of a chimney and pointed his bottle upwards. He descended down the chimney, head first, but he suddenly got stuck.

" Minverva! Albus! Are one of you around!" Snape asked. " I'm stuck in a chimney! Someone help me!"

Snape's feet kicked rapidly while hanging out of the chimney. Dumbledore and McGonagall didn't even bother to help get him out. They just left him there as they robbed everyone of their bottles of ketchup. Once they were done and about to leave, they pulled him out of the chimney and left.

Many Muggles would be mad that there was some kind of theif stealing their ketchup. At first, they use it as an excuse to get rid of the crazy person living two houses down from them, but when the thefts keep getting worse, they call the cops. But the cops can't do anything because the bottles are all in Hogwarts. And if they tried getting anywhere near them, they'd have an anti-Muggle spell against them.

The kids in Hogwarts would all be so happy that there was something for them to fly around with. They would squeeze their ketchup bottles all around the school, and they could actually be flown inside the halls at Hogwarts. Less people would be late for their classes because not only would their transportaion be smaller than a broomstick, but it would also automatically know which class to go to and what speed to go at to get them there.

The halls in Hogwarts looked like a highway. People were flying around in all different directions to get to their classes. Some of the professors dressed up as Muggle policemen started chasing down students in their own ketchup bottles to give them speeding tickets.

" Ten points from Ravenclaw Ms. Lovegood for going over the bottle speed limit," Snape says as he hands Luna her ticket.

" But I was only flying at 25, not 30!" Luna protested.

" Would you like another ticket for talking back to a professor and/or an officer?" Snape asked. Luna started to fly away.

" I'll see you in Dumbledore's Court!" Luna called back.

Just think about how fun Quidditch games would be!

Harry dives down to go after the Snitch, nearly hitting Fred and George along the way. Just as he caught the Snitch, he rolled on to the ground.

" This is dangerous," Harry muttered. " But it's fun!"

So this is why I think if there were no broomsticks in Hogwarts, we would all be riding ketchup bottles. It would be a lot more fun to get to classes, and Quidditch would be more exciting.

The Muggle-borns cheered with the nice paper that Dean wrote. The Purebloods, except the Slytherins, clapped in amusement at the movie that showed up on the screen. When all was quiet again, Dumbledore stood up and addressed everyone.

" Excellent work, Mr. Thomas," Dumbledore said, " That was quite creative! Now, please draw out one essay from the box."

Dean put his hand in the box, and after moving it around in there for a while, he took out a piece of parchment and handed it to the Headmaster.

" The next person in line is..."

Reaka: That's it for now. How did you guys like it? Was it entertaining? I hope so. Help me with suggestions for the next one! I'll put the best one I find on in the next chapter. But this will be my last entry for a while. I'm moving, and I don't know when the internet will be availible to me again. Until then, see you soon!