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Twenty: How Long Is The Night

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The moon was shining down on me. For once, it was not a strangely coloured one of blue or green or even brown. It was a normal one. A normal, grey moon.

I appreciated the normalcy.

I sat there for a long time, on the slanted rooftop, watching the moon slowly picks its course across the star-studded sky, wisps of grey clouds lit by the brilliance of the moon. Of course, it wasn't the moon's own light, but rather the light it reflected from the sun – but let's not go into specifics.

I looked down, down, down at the ground below me. I imagined what would happen if I jumped then and there. Would I splatter? Or would I just flatten, like what happened in the cartoons? If I closed my eyes… would Perri magically appear and save me?

Of course not. Who was I kidding?

She wasn't there anymore.

No one was.

"I wouldn't jump if I were you," a voice said from behind me. I blinked, and noticed that I was leaning over the gutter, looking down at the ground below. Slowly, I sank back onto the roof and sighed as Toby sat down next to me.

Toby. Tobias Cole. I still couldn't quite get my head around it. I'd heard from Kurda – from Perri, too – that Toby was dead. I still didn't know why, or how, he was alive, but here he was, looking not a day over fifteen, when indeed he should have at least looked twenty-five.

He was talking.

"…trust me, it hurts more than it looks. Every time I tried, I've managed to twist my ankle," he said with grim humour, his pale, withdrawn face anything but humorous. "Actually, I think I broke a leg one time…"

I raised an eyebrow at him. He caught my look, and shrugged, his expression remaining blank.

"When you live in a world you don't belong in, you tend to go a bit crazy," he told me softly, his strange little voice almost musical.

Pause. Quiet. Somewhere, a siren was whirring.

"How did you…?"

I didn't need to finish my question. He knew what I was going to ask.

"Eleven years ago," he said softly – he only ever seemed to talk softly, but not out of fear or anything. It was more like he was just tired. Tired of everything. His brown eyes, sad, forever sad, were slightly filmed over, as if viewing the past. "Eleven years ago, when Marcus and his group went about… slaughtering the Walters… I remember… Perri jumped out, trying to hit one of them. She was knocked out. They went to kill her, but I, I stopped him…"

He stopped, his hand drifting towards his left cheek. Like others who had dealt with the vampaneze in the past, he, too, sported the three scars of a victim, pale pink against his white face.

"I made him a deal. I would be his assistant, and he would spare her life. He agreed, and we left. The last time I saw her, she was lying face down in a pool of Merry's blood, one hand thrown over Sam as if trying to protect him…"

Toby fell quiet once more.

There were no sounds now, not even the sound of wind rustling through the few trees that were scattered nearby.

"I… loved her…"

His voice was so quiet. So pained.

"She loved you too," I told him. The ghost of a smile flitted over his features.

"Too late, now. She's gone – flown up and away, off to Paradise to join the rest of her family."

Together, we looked up at the sky. The clouds had moved on, leaving the night open and free, a cold wind blowing gently over us. Instinctively, I shivered, wrapping my jacket closer to me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. That ghostly smile spread slightly, a crooked thing.

"It's okay," he said. "We're all born to die – some of us are just due to leave earlier than others. It was her time to catch the train…" He trailed off, his eyes never leaving the sky. "I just want my turn to hurry up and come…"

"Why… why do you stay with the vampaneze, then?"

His answer was a shrug.

"I'm too afraid to kill myself. Too weak." He snorted. Then his fist slammed down into the roof tilings, making them jump and crack. "I hate Kütriht!" He growled.

"Yeah, he is rather hateable, isn't he?" I agreed quietly. Toby sent me a sidewards glance.

"You don't know the half of it."

A comfortable silence followed that, with the both of us watching the starry night. I think there was a song that had something to do with that. Starry, starry night…

"When was the last time you slept, Steve?" Toby asked into the quiet of the night. I was about to answer when I stopped, and realised that I had no idea.

"Since… since the night…"

"The night Perri died?"

"No. The night after."

"That's a good four days ago. That's not healthy, you know."

"I know. But…"

I trailed off, causing Toby to look at me.

"But what?"

"I can't sleep."

I refused to look back at him, to look at his face, instead choosing to watch the moon's face.

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,

Swirling clouds in violet haze,

Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue…

Wow. I was amazed I remembered that much of the song.

"Why can't you sleep?"

"Because… because…"

Because I dream.

I dream of flames.

Of blue and green moons.

Of seas of blood.

They were dreams I couldn't stand.

They were nightmares.

I couldn't sleep.

And quite frankly, I didn't care if I ever slept again.

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A.N A rather useless chapter, but it needed to be in here. Cos I just love that song. And it needed to be worked in somehow.

Cookies to whoever guesses where I got the names for Perri and her siblings! (Her father was obsessed with the books. So obsessed that he named his children after his favourite characters. -.- That's worse than me.) Cookies also go to the person who can tell me the name of the song and singer of the song I quoted. Don't sing it to me though – I've heard it sung at karaokes one too many times…

Also, I'd like to take another moment to wish Scarlet Black luck in her year 12 year, and the end of year tests equivalent to the HSC whose name I do not know. XD You know what I mean. Luck, Scarlet Black, and may you be triumphant even in death! (Lame, and morbid once more, but I get like that). Also, take a moment to go check out her stuff at deviantart, under the same penname. Awesome stuff. Scarletblack deviantart. Just add the com and get rid of the spaces. Mwuahaha!

Cold-night09: Yeah, I have to agree. All my favourite characters die as well. T.T

Bug2Buggie: Yay! Thankyou! I have another fan! –smiles evilly- Soon, I shall ensnare you all in my web… Soon… soon, I shall control the world! MWUAHAHAHA!

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Next Chapter:

Twenty-One: To Flames

A short number of days later, Gannen returned, and once more, I was on the road again. That's my life, for you: forever on the road.

We travelled as a group, stopping every daybreak at some dark deserted place. Every day, Toby would teach me the ways of the vampaneze, as much as he hated them, and eventually began to teach me how to wield my sword somewhat more proficiently.

After several weeks of random travelling – weeks that found me growing stronger and closer to my destiny, more weeks of sleepless days and restless nights – we arrived at our destination.

I got to meet the Guardians.