Rebirth – Chapter 19: Call me Liberacci
-Notes-
Bell Pie: Heh! Thanks :D Oooh, don't worry about Lawrence. He'll have his hands full. Shame shame shame.
Kaliska Vanka: XD Oh my, we'll just have to see what Allison thinks about all this. IF she finds out, that is. --evil cackle--
Merry-2004: Thanks! I'm sort of trying to pull out of the whole morose aura for a while, so the story should be a little lighter for the time being now. Of course…we all know it can't stay that way. :D
AngelGardian666: Going to hell? Oh, oh, I can seat you in seat A23, and that's in the West collumn. It's near mine, but spots are filling fast! Thanks :D
Well, this is a companion chapter to the last. Don't expect any major plot stuff really…it's a little mushy, I warn ye.
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Lawrence bit back on a yawn as he lay there, wishing that he'd carried his painkillers with him, but not too entirely troubled by it. He didn't want to get up, his own tiredness sinking in as he kept watch over his temporary bedmate. Adam lay on his side facing him, body lax and unmoving in a dead slumber that made him seem little more than a corpse. Where that thought should have been somewhat disturbing, however, Lawrence was just pleased that he had fallen asleep…
He didn't know what made him stay. He wasn't even sure why he had come here in the first place. But parts of him were beginning to figure it out. He supposed it would be sort of rude, anyway, to leave while Adam was asleep without so much as a goodbye. He was fine with not going anywhere all the same. Though confused, he was moreso relieved, but exactly why he couldn't say. For the most part, he was thrilled. It meant that he wasn't 'losing his humanity', whatever that meant anymore. All those years he'd felt himself slipping from his wife, the day he realized that not even a younger, sexy woman excited him any longer, and the distance he felt growing between himself and everyone else…He was just gay! Apparently, at least. The realization of homosexuality would be shocking to most people, especially at Lawrence's age, but it was so much better than the alternative.
It didn't even seem strange anymore. Only sort of funny, like he really should have known this earlier. He never had the time to contemplate his affections for Adam, though—he'd just assumed that the feelings he had were…fraternal. Or among friends, at the very least. But it was of course a different matter in actuallity, and he had never felt so vindicated from those previous self-accusations…even despite the fact that he should feel terrible about what he had with Adam. Not that he knew exactly what that was, but he was married. He had a wife. This was still cheating. You should feel bad, Lawrence. Snapped an indignant voice over and over. But he couldn't.
Lawrence reached out an arm and tenatively stroked a hand over Adam's cheek, stopping to trace another touch along his jawline. "First time you slept in a long time, huh?" he whispered sympathetically to the unconscious figure. Adam made no response to the contact other than the silent sigh that interupted his shallow breathing. Lawrence let his eyes wander over the body next to him with both contentment and appriciation. The thoughts that ran through his head were dark, but his heart was still light, and so he allowed himself to think them. He remembered how far away Adam had seemed in that death room, and at that, he let his hand rest against his wrist for a moment as though to ensure his current distance. What they would have given just to be closer to each other then, when they needed it most. The only thing Lawrence had been able to do to keep sane was to keep talking, and try to get Adam to do the same.
Lawrence sighed. Even now, Adam was reclusive. He kept quiet about his condition, about his pains and anxieties. About why he wouldn't sleep. He had opened up a little before, perhaps he would again. Lawrence was no psychologist, but he knew that it could take time for that to happen, if at all. He had no clue how long Adam had spent pent up inside of himself. He looked over his body again and slowly slid his hand under Adam's injured one, easing it away from its somewhat unatural position and out where it wouldn't be bothered, intent on keeping him comfortable. He resisted the urges to put a hand on him any further than that, unwilling to risk waking him, though he doubted that was even possible as hard as he'd crashed. It was nice enough to be near him. To watch his chest move almost imperceptably from the docile breath underneath, to see him at peace, and close enough to be able to notice that, even after cleaning up a little, he still smelled like sex.
He should've gotten up by now. He should've went home with a kiss goodbye. He should've reminded his conscience to kick in by this point. But none of that really mattered. He was already falling into sleep, one hand fondly resting on Adam's side as he closed his eyes. For the first time in years, he fell asleep optimistic.
