The Sickest Sence of Humor

Armstrong readied himself for battle. "Major..." Roy said. "I can handle this." Alex didn't back down. "I'll be your back up." he said. Barry, knife in hand, was opening the freezer door. "N-no!" Roy said. "That's not fair!" He couldn't take anymore. Roy snapped, but Barry had already closed the door. "I give you three minutes to get in, or else, I'm going to cut her into tiny bits and pieces, kill your friends, and then kill you." Barry said from inside the freezer. Roy ran over to the door, and snapped loud and hard. The handle melted a bit, but it was still sealed around the edges. He snapped and snapped and snapped, and the door kept melting, every flame counted. "You have 56 seconds left, colonel..." he said. Roy's eyes got smaller. "Lieutenant Hawkeye! Hang in there!" Alex said from behind Roy. "Wh--what are you doing?" Roy asked. "I'm smashing this door open, you've melted it quite enough. Besides, I'm your back up, remember?"

Roy smiled at him. "Yea...now break that door down, major."

With a nodd, Amrstrong pulled back his muscular arm, and smashed the door down. Barry wasn't anywhere to be seen, but they could hear his voice. "Hey, that's cheating..." Roy looked around, but didn't see him at all. Armstrong ducked, and went through the door. When he stood up straight, a bony 'oof' was heard throughout the room. "Oh, here he is!" Major Armstrong said as he bent down. "This room is too small. Even Fullmetal would find it uncomfortable." Roy said with sarcasm. "Now, prepare to die!" he finished. Barry wasn't scared at all. He just laughed. "I have another trick up my sleeve." he said, as he ran behind one of the shelves. Roy looked at him in confusion. Armstrong left the room, seeing how his head hit the top of the ceiling. Havoc crept into the room, and looked around for Hawkeye. She was nowhere to be seen either. Havoc looked around, and saw amber eyes, just barely open, but open, under one of the shelves. He gasped, and crawled over to the shelf.

"And what trick would this be?" Roy asked, still very confused.

Barry laughed. "This one!" he smirked as he pulled on a string slowly. Roy, still confused, looked around. "Okay, what exactly did that d---ooo...AAH!" he screamed as some type of cold liquid poured out of a bucket ontop of the ceiling. "What the hell is this!" He asked, losing his temper. Barry smirked. "Well, I ran out of popcorn for the show, so instead, I got you gasoline. Hope you like it..." he said grinning. Roy flinched, and clenched his fists. "I wouldn't try snapping if I were you, either. From what I hear, gasoline is very inflammable." Barry snickered. "And now, let's begin the show!"

Without another word, Barry the Chopper looked over to the shelf Riza was under. He saw Havoc, but didn't say a word, instead, he laughed. "What a moron...a futile effort to save the lieutenant." Roy looked up. "Who, me?" Barry laughed...again. "No...HIM!" he yelled as he threw a knife at Havoc. In a flash, Roy turned around, and a thud and a scream were heard throughout the room. Mustang's eyes filled with intence horror. "Lieutenant Havoc!" He screamed. Jean was frozen, knife in the back of his leg. "Colonel...the lieutenant..." Roy was torn. His first lieutanant was bleeding to death, and his second lieutenant was about to be cut up by some psycho. Then, Armstrong walked in. "I'll stop the blood. My sister used to be a nurse!" he said, carrying Jean out the door he barely fit through. Roy nodded. "Hang in there, Jean." He said. Havoc nodded, his face turning pale. Roy faced Barry. "That's it! Joke's up! Give her back now!" he yelled.

"Oh, but I can't do that..." Barry said.

"Oh, but WHY THE HELL NOT!" Roy asked screamed at him. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing it would all be over.

Barry smirked. "Because...if I did, this would be no fun at all...where's your sence of humor, colonel?" Roy's eyes shot open. "HUMOR! HUMOR? IS WHAT YOU DO TO POOR INNOCENT PEOPLE YOUR IDEA OF HUMOR! YOU CRAZY, SICK, INSANE, PSYCHOTIC BASTARD!" Barry shrugged. "I don't care what you call me, I'm still gonna cut her up in front of you!" Roy threw his right hand up, and punched Barry in the face. "If you lay a finger on her---"

"Oh no, no fingers, just knives!" he chuckled as he put a hand on his face, feeling his new wound. "That hurt, colonel...it's not nice to punch people."

"LIKE I GIVE A DAMN!" He screamed once more. "My, what a temper you have!" Barry said, acting shocked, just to piss Mustang off. It worked. Roy kicked him, and Barry fell, laughing like a maniac. "Your lieutenant tried that too. It's funny, because it doesn't even compare to how much I'm going to hurt you." Roy looked over his shoulder at Barry. Finally, he calmly asked."Where is my lieutenant?" Barry didn't answer. He shrugged. "I forgot..." he said grinning. Roy grabbed him by the collar. "Listen you..." he began. He never finish his sentence, because he was cut off by a small noise heard in the room. "Ugh...Taisa..." He knew the voice, and a tear of joy ran down his face. "Lieutenant Hawkeye..." he said in a happy whisper.

"Colonel...under the shelf on the right..." Her voice was cold and scared. Barry smirked. Roy didn't see the simrk, and walked straight over to the shelf where her amber eyes were. He bent down, and pulled her out from underneath the shelf. She was shaking. He felt her face, and it was freezing. "Thank goodness you're alive." He said as he cried. Barry began to laugh. "Sorry, I completely forgot she was under there. How silly of me. Oh well, at least she's so numb, she won't feel a thing. But I'm afraid you're in the way, so..." Roy didn't care about what Barry said. He was too concerned about finding a way out before he did anything. Too late. That psycho had already threw his huge butcher knife, and it was headed straight for Roy's back. Riza saw the knife, and pushed Roy out of the way. The knife scratched the other side of her face. Hawkeye screamed causing Barry to laugh. "Just what I like to hear."