Chapter Ten - We Are One Inside These Walls, Undercover
And you held and you tried
I could never find another
If you walk me to the car park
I won't go
And we held and we tried
There was heart and lust between us
I will love you
I won't let go
"Undercover," Pete Yorn
As Michael's eyes slowly opened and adjusted to his surroundings, Sydney's sleeping form came into focus. He smiled as he felt her sigh and shake her head in her sleep. His smile quickly faded as she began to shake her head more violently and sob heavily.
"Sydney," he whispered in a soft, concerned tone as he turned her over so he could face her. "Sweetie, it's alright," he cupped her face in his hands, praying that she'd wake up from whatever torture was plaguing her dreams.
Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she drew a deep breath. The tears were flowing freely as she wrapped her arms tightly around Michael.
"Hey, it's alright, it was just a dream," Michael soothed as he stroked her hair reassuringly.
"It was horrible," Sydney mumbled into his shoulder, hicupping slightly. "You--"
"It was just a dream, don't worry about it," Michael replied, lifting her head, then proceeding to wipe the tears away from her tear streaked face with his thumb.
"But you--" Sydney stopped in midsentence, struck by the look on Michael's face. Instead of continuting, she simply put her hands on his face and kissed him deeply. She felt his hands in her hair and knew it immediately.
This is real. This right here? No one can take this away from me. No one.
"Promise me you'll never leave me. Ever." She demanded, completely out of breath as she rested her forehead on his.
"I promise," he replied in a heartbeat, with his eyes closed and his voice still out of breath. He slowly opened his eyes and let his thumb graze over her cheek. "I promise," he reaffirmed once more, this time more convincing.
She kissed him once more before she laid down and let his strong arms envelop her. As she felt him kiss her hair a pang of guilt struck her. The last way she wanted to end their wonderful night together was by going all schitzo on him.
It has been months since Taipei but for some reason those dreams still haunted her. They went away for awhile, but came back that night she met Michael at the restaurant. They were just so painfully vivid -- the thump of his limp body against the cold steel door, crushed by the power of that "water." In her dream, she opens the door. The water flows out, and she stares with horror at Michael's lifeless body. She comes to him and there's blood gushing out of his fingertips. He reaches up and squeezes her face, leaving it streaked with his blood. And he speaks, barely audible: "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me..."
Syd shook her mind of the memory, and told herself over and over again that it was just a dream. It wasn't a sign, it wasn't a prophecy, it wasn't anything but a dream...
"I'm sorry," she said, rubbing her face tiredly.
"It's no big deal, really," he responds, shaking his head. "It's actually nice to be able to be here for you, you know?"
She turns to face him once again and smiles. Nodding her head slowly, she agrees.
"Hey, what time is it?" He asks, suddenly worried.
"Um," Syd reached over her bed and picked up the alarm clock, "nine. Why?"
"Oh crap," he replies, jolting up from the bed and frantically putting his shoes on.
"What's wrong?" Syd asked, worried about Michael's peculiar behavior.
"Oh, it's nothing important, it's just that Jules is going to be worried about me if I'm not there before she wakes up. I know she's the one that encouraged me to...take this step, but she's still worried about the safety of it all. And she's right. I don't want to risk your cover."
Syd smiled and wrapped her arms around Michael's shoulders from behind him.
"Remind me to thank Jules for that again," she breathed into his ear before kissing his his cheek. Michael pushed her off as he reached down for his sweatshirt.
"As much as I'd like some of that, I know that I have absolutely no will power when it comes to you, so I have to get myself out of here or else I'll never leave."
"I wouldn't have a problem with that..."
"I'm sure you wouldn't," Michael laughed, making his way to the window, Sydney right behind him.
"Be careful, okay?"
"Always," Michael replied as he opened the window and stepped out of it. He faced Syd to give her one last kiss before they said goodbye.
"And tell Jules I said 'hey'," she said as they pulled apart.
"Sure thing."
~~~
[Outside Syd's Apartment]
Jack quickly shook himself from his sleep.
Nine o'clock.
It's Nine AM and there's still no sign of Agent Vaughn.
I'm going to kill him, I swear I'm going to kill him.
All of a sudden, Jack noticed the window in Syd's room open. The same window he witnessed Agent Vaughn come in through last night.
Little does he know that his life as he knows it will be over by the time he gets to his car...
He watched as Vaughn turned back around to face the window. A hand rested on his face, Sydney's, Jack presumed.
And now a face is on his face.
Sydney's, I presume.
Deciding he had seen enough, Jack started up his car, and drove to the parking lot a few blocks away where he knew Vaughn must have parked. And he was right.
There it was, his little black Civic.
Jack had to fight the urge to slash all four of his tires and completely smash the car up.
It would serve him right. He should know better than to get emotionally involved with Sydney. When you've come this far, and gone through so much, you have to reach a point where you just put all emotions aside. You numb yourself because that's the only way you can make it out of this buisness alive. Once you slip up once, you're dead.
They seem to have forgotten that.
Oh, here comes Mr. Vaughn. What a coincidence! I guess I should personally remind him of his complete and utter stupidity.
Jack jumped out of the car and cut Vaughn off.
"Jack?! Wh--wh--what are you doing here?"
He's stuttering. First sign of infidelity. And fear. I have the upper hand. But what else is new?
"Hello, Mr. Vaughn," Jack started in his subzero tone. "I saw you making your way to your car here and I thought I should stop by and inform you of something."
"Oh, um, okay," Vaughn replied uneasily as he pulled his keys out of his pocket and leaned against the back of his car. "Shoot."
Don't tempt me, Agent Vaughn.
"Do you know what you're getting yourself into, Mr. Vaughn?" Jack asked, letting his anger seep through his words.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jack."
Much to Vaughn's suprise, Jack grabbed Vaughn by the shirt and pushed him up against his car.
Hmm, how did his shirt get in my hands? I have absolutely no idea. But now that it's here, I might as well take advantage of it and scare the sh-t out of this boy and make sure that he never lays a finger on my daughter again.
"I think you do, Mr. Vaughn. I don't want you going near my daughter ever again. I don't want you talking to her, I don't want you touching her, sneaking off to spend the night with her, or even advising her for that matter. You clearly care more about your own sexual desires than her own safety and that most definitely does not make you acceptable handler material. I'm going to call Devlin right now to get you reassigned unless you give me one good reason."
Vaughn was in compete disbelief.
What the Hell is going on here? He thought in shock.
He quickly shook away his suprise, and pushed Jack off of him violently.
"What the Hell do you think you're doing?!" Vaughn demanded angrily.
"Well, Mr. Vaughn, I'd like to ask you the same thing." Jack retorted.
"How dare you say that I care more about my own sexual desires than Sydney's wellfare?! If there was one thing in this world that I would sacrifice my own life for, it's Sydney. I would never ever do anything to comprise her cover or her life. And I know damn well that you know that. With that said, I have no idea why you're suddenly so interested in Sydney's life. You've never cared before, why now?"
"Because you are putting her life in jeopardy by carrying out these secret midnight rendezvous."
"Were you spying on your daughter, Agent Bristow?"
"No. Well yes, but only because she asked me to. And it's none of your damn buisness Agent Vaughn."
"No, sir, I actually think it is. I'm sorry to inform you of this, but anything relating to Sydney is my buisness."
"Why can't you both see how incredibly stupid this is? How much danger it puts you both in? The CIA can't afford to lose two of it's best because of some childish romance."
"Why can't you see how lonely and depressed and angry your daughter is? Jack, she's lived a life that no one should ever have to deal with. And it has left her bitter and alone. But you should see her face when we're together, it's like the world doesn't exist and it's just us. I've never seen her so happy the whole time I've known her."
"Cut the crap, Vaughn. Happiness has no place in the life we live. You both need to get that through your heads or you're going to get yourselves killed."
Vaughn just shook his head sadly.
"That's where you're wrong, Jack. It does have a place in our lives. Yeah, it might be hard, but we are willing to do it. Not just me, but Sydney also. Sydney wants this more than anything. And I'm willing to do everything in my power to give her atleast a taste of the life she really wants. And if you loved her too, you'd do the same."
He loves my daughter?
I love her. I love her?!
Jack simply stood in silence stunned by Vaughn's words.
~~~
"Michael Christopher Vaughn, where the Hell have you been?"
Jules was standing in the living room staring at her watch as Michael walked through the door.
"Sorry, Mom," Michael joked.
"Seriously, Mike, where have you been? I've been worried sick. I thought you were going to get out of there while it was still dark, so it would be safer. I've been waiting for the last three hours, scared to death about what might have happened to you."
"Well, I'm here so there's no need to worry," Michael replied, walking over to his fridge tiredly. After his enounter with Jack, he decided to take a walk to clear his mind. Yeah, that definitely didn't work.
"What happened? Why were you out so late? And if it involves a little three letter word starting with an s and ending with an x feel free to plead the fifth."
"No, it wasn't that," Michael answered softly, "we just talked, and fell asleep. No big deal."
"Oh," Jules said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"But I did run into someone on the way to my car..."
"What?! WHO?"
"Jack Bristow." Michael responded as he sat on a stool and poured himself some cereal.
"Jack Bristow as in Sydney's crazy ass dad? What did he say?"
"I don't know. That man just has no heart. I swear, he has a lump of coal in there. How can someone not even care about the happiness of their daughter. I know he trusts me so that's obviously not the reason why he was so pissed."
"WHAT DID HE SAY?!"
"Geez, cool your jets."
"Mike, no one says that anymore."
"Well I do. In fact I just did. And I will again. Cool your jets."
"Enough with the cooling of the jets! What did that uber-creepy man say?!"
"He wants to reassign me, but I know he won't. He basically accused me of using Sydney just to 'satisfy my sexual desires' as he put it. It's like he's blind to the fact that his own daughter hates her life. She completely and absolutely hates her life. But when she's with me it's like...I don't know what it's like but I definately don't see hatred and anger and fear in her eyes. It's like she's a little girl again."
Jules just sat staring in wonder at her older brother.
"Man, you've seriously got it bad."
Michael just sighed.
"I know."
"Hey! That's a huge step! Never have you been able to admit it, but now you have! Way to go, bro!" Jules said, raising her hand so Michael would give her a high five.
"Jules, how am I going to make this work?"
"Mikey, nothing is impossible. It may seem like it, but when things are meant to be, they're meant to be. You'll find a way to make it work. Trust me."
"Yeah..."
All of a sudden, Jules's cell phone started ringing and she ran to grab it.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jules? This is Will Tippin, Sydney's friend."
"Oh, hey Will!" Jules exclaimed from the doorway of her brother's room. Michael's eyes immediately shot up in suspicion, and Jules smiled and waved at her brother as she closed the door.
"What's up?"
"Well, um, I was actually, um..."
Is he stuttering over me?! I've officially made a man stutter! SCORE!
Jules laughed, prompting Will to laugh in response.
"You know what? This is really pathetic. I'm sorry, let me start all over again. Hey, Jules. This is Will. How are you?"
"I'm great, Will, whats up?" Jules replied with a huge grin on her face.
"I was wondering if...uh...you'd want to do something tonight...or something...Unless of course you're doing something else or you don't have the time or something, because I'd totally understand. I mean, I have only met you once, and it was only for like forty five mintues and--"
"I'd love to." Jules said, inbetween laughs as she cut Will off.
"You'd what?"
"I'd love to. What time should I be ready?"
"Um, does seven sound good to you?"
"It sounds great," Jules replied, letting her phone rest in the crook of her neck as she began to fish through her clothes. "Is casual good?"
"Yeah, casual's great." Jules could feel Will smiling through the phone. "So I'll pick you up at seven at you're place."
"Sound's great."
"See ya then,"
"Yeah, see ya then. Bye Will."
"Bye, Jules."
Jules couldn't stop herself from jumping up and down. She'd been on dates before, but something about this one just seemed different. Okay, maybe the fact that she hadn't been on one in a month or so since she had that episode with the the freak from Radiology had something to do with her excitement...
This is going to be nice.
Jules opened up the door to her roomm, and ran right into Michael.
"Ow! What the Hell are you doing?!" Jules screamed, pushing her brother.
"Nothing!"
"Yeah, sure..." Jules rolled her eyes.
"So you're going out with Will tonight?" Michael asked suspiciously.
"So, you're gonna secretly meet with Sydney tonight? Do a little dance, perhaps? Make a little love? Get down?"
"Jules, you're so incredibly pathetic."
"What? I'm excited!"
"Yeah, because you're a loser who hasn't been out since the ice ages."
"Only because you scare the sh-t out of every guy that wants to date me."
"Damn straight. And I plan on retaining that title."
"Like Hell."
Jules laughed as she made her way into the bathroom.
Yeah, this definitely is going to be fun.
~~~
[Later that Night...]
"Mike! Get the door! I'm not ready yet!"
"Are you sure?" Michael replied with a grin.
"Yes, for the love of God, yes!"
It's definitely more than fun to watch Jules run around like a frantic lunatic. And now I get to tear Will apart! Excellent!
Michael made his way to the door and opened it.
"Hey," Michael said, greeting Will with a handshake.
"Hey, man, how've you been?" Will asked as he walked the door. Michael closed the door, not realizing that there was someone coming in behind Will.
"Hey, watch it!" A woman's voice called out from behind the door. Michael looked confused as he opened the door again.
"Syd? What are you doing here?" Michael asked, pulling Sydney into his apartment.
"Nice to see you, too," Sydney joked as she made her way towards the kitchen. Before Michael could respond, Will spoke up.
"So, is Jules ready?"
"Oh yeah, she's not ready yet. But that reminds me," Michael said, making his way towards Will who was standing behind the couch. Sydney sat up on the counter, eager to see their little confrontation. "Jules is my younger sister and I care very much about her. And if you do anything, and I mean anything to hurt her in any way, you're going to be sorry."
Syd made a face to Will as she sat amused on the countertop. She couldn't help but get a kick out of how intimidated Will got by Michael. Michael could be a bad ass when he really wanted to.
Aw, look how protective he is of his younger sister! How cute.
"Don't worry, man, I understand. I have a younger sister too, and I'm the same way about guys that she goes out with," Will replied.
"Sorry for being like that, but, like you said, you know how it is. I have to run through that test with anyone I know she's going out with. The good thing about you, though, is that you know full well what my capabilities are, and if you do just happen to hurt her, I will hunt you down like there's no tomorrow."
A fearful silence filled the room before Will started laughing.
"That's a good one, man, you're pretty funny, you know that?" He said, inbetween laughs as he knocked Michael's arm. Michael simply raised his eyebrow sternly.
"Oh..." Will replied as the silence overtook the room once more. This time, Sydney was the one to break the silence.
"Don't worry, Will, I'll protect you." She choked, clutching her sides for dear life as the room filled with her laughter. Soon everyone was laughing and Will was pretty sure the ice had been broken.
Suddenly, Jules popped out of Michael's room wearing a pair of jeans and a red sweater.
"What's so funny?" Jules asked as she walked to the coat racked and picked her's up.
"Nothing," Sydney said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Your brother verbally raped Will, that's all. And it was pretty funny."
"Mike, what's your problem?!" Jules asked, walking over to her brother and smacking him upside the head.
"Ow!" He yelped, clutching the back of his head. "That hurt!"
"Well I think you got off pretty well for fifteen years of torture."
"I wouldn't exactly call it--"
"So, Will, you ready to hit the road?" Jules asked, walking up to Will.
"Yeah, definitely," Will replied, taking Jules hand and leading her out the apartment.
"You two have fun now," Sydney called out from the kitchen.
"But not too much fun," Michael yelled from the doorway.
"Right back at ya big bro," Jules called from the hall, "I don't want to be unpleasantly suprised when I come home, if you know what I mean."
Michael rolled his eyes as he closed the door, then turned to Sydney.
"So, what did I do to deserve such a wonderful suprise?" He asked, walking up to Sydney and resting his hands at the base of her hips on the counter.
"Nothing, I just missed you," she replied, letting her hands explore the sides of his face and his neck.
"You checked for tails? Everything's safe?" He asked with a smile.
I don't know how this ever got to be so normal. We spend one day together and suddenly were like this. Spending time at each other's places...talking about absolutely nothing and just enjoying each other's presence. And bodies for that matter. Which leads me once more to the question: How did this happen again?
"Of course," she answered as she tossed her hair to one side and looked toward the couch. "And see that hat and those glasses over there?" Michael turned around to see a fairly large bucket hat and dark sunglasses. "If anyone saw me, which they didn't, they wouldn't have been able to recognize me anyway."
Michael laughed and shook his head at her antics.
"When did this become such a Hollywood illicit affair?" He asked before he started to kiss her neck.
"Ever since you snuck out of my window this morning, which was perfect timing actually, because Francie walked in literally the second I closed the window." Sydney could feel him smile against his neck before he lifted his head up.
"I'm glad. Hey, what about Francie? Where's she tonight?"
"Now that you mention it...I don't know. She said something about her family going up to Sacremento for the rest of the week...But my mind was a little too preoccupied to care." Sydney replied as she kissed his neck, returning the favor. Michael laughed, as he arched his neck, giving Sydney direct access to what she really was looking for.
"How did we turn into two hormonal teenagers?" Michael asked, lifting Sydney's head from his neck.
"Well, I could go through all the details...the desires, the tension, the late night meetings in dark warehouses, calls to Joey's Pizza..."
"Or...?"
"Or you could just sit back and enjoy the ride," she replied with a grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Sydney squealed with suprise as Michael pulled her off the counter, leaving her holding onto his neck for dear life.
"I think I'll go with the second one," Michael replied as he lifted Syd in his arms and walked her to the couch.
"Good," she said as he dropped her onto the couch, "I was never one much for talking." Syd sat up on her knees as she clutched Michael's shirt pulling him in for a kiss. She slowly pulled him down on top of her on the couch.
"Yes, Ma'am."
~~~
"So where are we going?" Jules asked excitedly as Will parked the car.
"Well, I was thinking we could hit the carnival. I have this uncanny ability to win pretty girls gigantic teddy bears. And from what I hear, a big teddy bear is the key to a girl's heart."
"All I have to say is that you're source is excellent. Carnivals are like my favorite places ever! They remind me of when I was younger and I used to go to one back in France with Mike...They just won me over. I haven't been to one's as good as the one's the French have, but a carnival is a carnival!"
"Awesome. I was pretty sure you'd like it," Will laughed as they got out of the car.
"And why is that?" Jules flirted back.
"You know what? I really have no idea. You just came off as the kind of girl would go for a carnival first date."
"Well you had me pegged, Mr. Tippin, you had me pegged." Jules couldn't hide her enthusiasm at all. And when she really thought about it, there was no need to. She just had to sit back and relax as she let Will lead the way.
~~~
"Hey, you wanna take this show on the road?" Sydney asked as she pulled away, and sat up on the couch.
"Well, as inticing as that sounds, I seriously think that would not only comprise your cover, but also your integrity," Michael joked.
Syd laughed and pushed him playfully.
"I didn't mean it like that you dirty boy!"
"How was I supposed to know?" He laughed burying his head in her neck once again.
"You were so right. How did we become such horny teenagers?" She asked, running her hands through his hair.
"Well I could go through the details...the desires, the tensions, the late night meetings, breaking into the Vatican together..."
"Or...?"
"Or you could just sit back and enjoy the ride," Michael grinned wickedly as he repeated Syd's earlier words. She laughed as she pulled Michael's head upward.
"What I meant was...Let's get out of here. As much as I love your place, you and I both know that we don't want anyone to...interrupt us, if you know what I mean."
Michael quickly became serious, as he got up and began to pace around the room.
"Syd, I'm not so sure how safe that'll really--"
"You know what, never mind," she said, walking towards the kitchen. "Forget about it. Let's just eat something and enjoy the night."
"Sydney, are you upset?"
"No! No, no, no, no. I completely understand." Sydney replied, wrapping her arms around him once again and kissing the tip of his nose. "I completely trust your opinion. If you don't think it's safe, we won't do it."
Michael could tell she was disappointed. And he had to admit, he was too. He did want to wait for a time when everything would be absolutely perfect...
God, Mike, when will you ever learn? Our lives will never be perfect. You just have to grab the opportunity when it comes because you never know what might happen...
"No, we will." Michael said, picking up Syd once again.
"What? Are you sure? You're right, getting over there will be too dangerous and it'll be best just not to go..."
"Who said we had to go to your place?" Vaughn asked walking towards his room.
"What about waiting for the special time?" She asked, looking forward towards the room then back at Michael.
"Now seems pretty special to me."
"What about Jules?"
"She'll stay on the couch."
"What about us, Michael? What will happen to us?" Syd asked, seriously, holding his eye contact as they walked through the doorway into his room. Michael closed the door with his foot, then turned his head back towards Syd.
"I love you, Syd. And I have ever since you walked into my office almost two years ago. I have watched you hurt, I have watched you cry, I have watched you find comfort in the arms of other men, I have watched you save your friends lives...save my life, risking your's all the while. I won't have to watch anymore. We are in this together and there's nothing to fear anymore. Because you're with me, and that's all I need."
Michael watched the tears silently fall from Syd's eyes, and everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She reached up and pulled him into the longest kiss he's ever been a part of...ever. She pulled away, out of breath, and sniffled. Wiping her eyes, she rested her forehead on his.
"I love you, too." She whispered. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For all the pain--"
Michael quieted her with a kiss, as he slowly walked them towards the bed.
END CHAPTER TEN
