Lilly felt exhausted. It was impossible for her to get any rest at all as she was too busy listening out for approaching footsteps. She didn't know why but over the last few hours she had been beginning to feel really bad about how she had reacted when Scotty had kissed her. Okay, maybe she did know why she was feeling so down about it. She just didn't want to admit it to herself because she was afraid of what it could mean if she did. She didn't want to admit that maybe there was more to what she felt for him; that maybe it was more than just a crush. She didn't want her feelings to be anymore because she didn't want to get hurt again.
Of the few loves she had had in her life, they always seemed to end in either them breaking her heart or her leaving the other person so that they couldn't break her heart. She had discovered that getting out early didn't help; it still hurt her just as badly, as then she had the guilt of breaking someone's heart when they hadn't done anything to hurt her. She was always looking for something more.
She supposed that in a way she still wanted to believe in fairytales. That the right guy would come along, sweep her off her feet, and take her away to somewhere she'd be safe. But somehow she had always thought it unlikely that something that wonderful would happen to her. She knew she could let herself believe in fairytales, in dreams of a happily ever after. But when those dreams came crashing down around her, would she be able to live with the aftermath?
She thought about it for a few minutes before coming back to the original question in her mind. Where was the harm in admitting it now? If she didn't admit it, it was going to hurt her anyway. Scotty was unlike any guy she'd fallen for before. It seemed his care for her was genuine, but he always respected her need for space. She sighed deeply. The heart wants what it wants. Isn't that what people said? Her heart knew what she wanted, but was she ready to admit it. So many questions, so few answers. She might not know what to do about her feelings, but at least she was closer to realising their true nature (or so she hoped). Then it hit her. The truth was that she really loved Scotty Valens.
A/N: This chapter's rather short I know, but it didn't really fit in with the next section I was writing which will be in the next chapter. It's up now too, and its longer.Thanks for your reviews!
