HEY GUYS! IM SOOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE...FOREVER! I have come out of my stupid brooding and purely reading other people's fic's to come back to you all in a flourent of hilarity! (brownie points to any who understood that) i would now like to spend the time to Anywho, spent toooo much time on this, i know, because i hate to read this tooo soo...without further adu...ON TO CHAPTER THREE! insert dramatic music here>
The University of Chaotic Idiot Refinement Chapter 3: The Strange, strange tale of the Miko, the monk and two perverts
Inuyasha was going insane. Three days and he and Sesshomaru were still playing Zelda. They should have at least made it to the last boss but NOOOO! Sesshomaru just HAD to go out and buy that new boa on sale at "BOA'S ARE US!" It made him sick.
"Damnit Sesshomaru! IF YOU DON'T STOP PREENING RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO LEAVE YOU HERE!"
"Calm down Inuyasha. My new boa will get wrinkled if i am not careful." He couldn't take it anymore, he had to leave, to get to...her. Aaaahhhh Kagome...HIS girlfriend. (drool started to fall) Inuyasha was snapped back to reality once again by a large pink fluffy thing in his face.
"Inuyasha? Inuyasha? Where did you go? I am ready to go, if you are not here within two seconds I will leave you behind." Sesshomaru stated blandly while strocking the boa affectionatly.
"IM RIGHT HERE YOU ASS! GET THIS PERVERTED SEX SYMBOL OFF OF ME BEFORE I SHRED IT TO PIECES!" Inuyasha shouted in rage.
"Oh, there you are. Whatever are you doing lying down there? Oh well. Now that you are finally ready. WE GO!" Sesshomaru then pranced off with a pink boa flutting behind like a love struck puppy. Inuyasha stood there in a daze when he realized Sesshomaru was already starting up the car. WAIT THE CAR! THAT'S MY CAR!
"SESSHOMARU GET YOUR PRISSY LITTLE ASS OUT OF MY CAR! YOU METERO-SEXUAL GIRLY-MAN! GET OUT OF MY CAR!" Inuyasha shouted while bounding after a happy and speeding yokai.
Kagome was bored. bored bored BORED! She had had nothing to do on the weekend. Well, not since she quit her job. But it was for the better. She couldn't stand one more day of that love-struck mental not to mention mangy and full of fleas Manager, Koga. It sickened her. But she needed the job. She would have to go get one after school. The only way she could keep bread on the table was now gone, along with her family. They had moved to America a year ago for the experience. They wouldn't be returning until September at any rate. OH WELL. Best get my ass moving. No time to dilly-dally. Inuyasha will be by to pick me up any minute. wait. SHIT! INUYASHA'S COMING AND IM STILL NOT DRESSED! OH SHIT SHIT SHIT! She then began frantically running around her house while pulling on whatever she could find. Lucky for her it was her favorate outfit. One's her parents had sent her from America. It was a pair of dark blue Levi jeans and a black corset like tanktop. (for all of you hentai's out there it is not really a corset. Just the fact that it is hard and strings up in back. EVERYTHING IS COVERED! sorry. Just had to letcha know.) She had just finished putting her hair up in a high ponytail when she heard a Knock at the door. Kagome ran out of the bathroom and grabbed her black purse-like bag. (yes, i have an obsession with the color black. wanna fight about it?) She then made her way to the door and opened it to stare into a pair of gorgeous golden eyes.
OH MY! HOW DID I NOT REALIZE INUYASHA WAS SOOOO HOT? WHAT A HUNK! WAIT! IM GOING OUT WITH HIM! AREN'T PRONGS AND RIAH GONNA BE JEALOUS! THEY'VE ALWAYS LIKED HIM! Teehee. I'll just rub it in a little.
Kagome smiled. "Hey Inuyasha! I'm ready when you are!" Try not to stare, try not to stare, TRY NOT TO STARE!
Inuyasha was stunned when Kagome opened the door. DEAR LORD! HOW DID SHE GET EVEN HOTTER? SHE'S SO SEXY IN THAT OUTFIT! SHIT! LOOK AWAY! LOOOOKKK AAAWWWAAYYY! DO NOT MARK HER! DAMN! HORMONES...RAGING...CAN'T...STOP...LLLOOOOKKKIIIINNNNGGG! SAY SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING YOU DULT!
"Uhhhh, hey. I guess we can go right now then. Uh...(cough) shall we?" WOW! THAT WAS A WINNER! Uhh hey. psht! i AM an idiot. Sesshomaru was right, i have no luck with women. Even the one I've had a crush on since i could go to the bathroom by myself! WAIT! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT THOUGHT COME FROM? I MUST BE GOING CRAZY! well, mabey i can still salvage this. Do, something, do something! WAIT! what was that whole gentleman thingy? ummm...OH RIGHT! Inuyasha then wiped the drool off his face and did as his mind comanded.
Inuyasha stuck his arm out and Kagome accepted it willingly while wiping the drool off her mouth secretivly. He led her towards his silver jeep rubicon. (AAAHHHH, my rubicon! wingg drools over her new silver rubicon) Kagome noticed that the licence plate read DOGBOY. Hummmm... fitting. somehow...i...just..can't place why it fits him so ...perfectly. Oh well, at least Im in his car. She then hopped in, something was touching her. It was weird...like a fuzzy cat.
"WHAT THE HELL! Sesshomaru I told you to keep your boa to yourself!" Inuyasha shouted when he got in the driver's seat.
"It only wanted to touch her...!" Sesshomaru wined.
"WHAT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN IT ONLY WANTED TO TOUCH HER! IT'S A DAMNED BOA! SAY IT WITH ME B...O...A..! IT HAS NO FEELINGS! IF YOU TOUCH HER OR ME ONE MORE TIME I WILL TEAR IT TO SHREADS!" He fumed
"NNNNOOOOOO MY BOA! YOU MONSTER! DON'T YOU SAY THAT TO BETSY! TAKE IT BACK! my precious!" Sesshomaru started stroking the boa passionatly.
"Your a loony." Kagome was utterly dumbfounded. What she said was true but...honestly, it was still quite freaky.
"HHHHHEEEEEEE PPPFFFFFTTT PPPPFFT PFT!" Kagome, now completely freaked, was quite sure she would rather be anywhere but with an imitating cat-boy.
"Feh. Like hell I will." Inuyasha started the car and they zoomed off toward almost certain insanity.
They finally drove up to the school after what seemed like eternity with a screaming and raging posessed boa obsessor.
"FOR PETE'S SAKE! DO YOU EVER SHUT UP SESSHOMARU! WE'RE HERE SO GET YOUR PRISSY LITTLE ASS OUT OF MY CAR! (hehee...my rubicon!) AND CATCH A RIDE WITH ONE OF YOUR POSSY! IM NOT GIVING YOU A RIDE EVER AGAIN!" Inuyasha screamed. Kagome was releaved when Sesshomaru got out, but not without sticking his nose up in the air and swinging the boa over his shoulder like some self-obsorbed model.
"Sorry about that Kagome." Inuyasha started. Kagome was unsure about what was about to happen. His brother isinsane. Is he? Well, he can't be all bad, i mean, he's so HOT! She bit on her finger to keep from tackling him, she was going crazy. Prongs and Riah will be sooooo JEALOUS! They got out of the car (my RUBICON! I LOVE YOU MY RUBICON!) and walked toward insaneness hand in hand.
Almost imidiatly Kagome's freakishly insane friends ran over and pulled her away to talk alone, all the while muttering apologies to Inuyasha saying they would give her back in just a minute.
"OMG! KAGOME! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU ARE GOING OUT WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL!"Prongs squilled. She had had a crush on Inuyasha since she was in 3rd grade.
"YEAH! WHY NOT!" Riah ranted just wanting to sound like she knew what she was talking about. She wasn't stupid, she just played that way to make people laugh.
"Well, it kinda happened kinda suddenly. I guess, it was more of an accident, but hey! HE'S HOT!" Kagome said. It was sooo true, and Kagome would not deny it. It was pointless. My friends are soooo weird. One minute we're all drooling over him, the next they are dragging me away asking the details!I mean COME ON! Do I ever have the STRANGEST friends on the face of the planet? Just think, Prongs is a half bat, half stag demon thingy. WHAT ON EARTH WOULD YOU CALL THAT! Although, she has exteremely cute short antler like thingys on her head, cute small black wings on her back and short cropped mouse brown hair. I only wish i could look that cute. And Riah, well, that's another story altogether. Riah was a half dog and half wolf demon. And MAN WAS SHE CONFUSED! She was cute as hell with her nut brown hair with blonde bangs, nut brown ears that stuck up on top of her head and bright silver eyes. Her tail was also cute. It was both of a wolf and a dog. Trim yet shaggy, it was also nut brown. But if her body was confused, well, her mind was insane. She could be seen arguing with herself about what to do when nobody orEVERYONE in the entire high school was around, it didn't matter when. I guess it's the fact that she's part wolf AND dog. Hmmm...they both are pretty weird i guess. Kagome was snapped out of her thoughts by Riah.
" Well, I can't say that I'm jealous anymore." She said sheepishly. Kagome was confused at first...but then she began to suspect..."Dark finally asked me out." Riah blurted, growing red in the cheeks. Riah had liked Dark ever since she first met him. Kagome had to admit he was exteremely hot with his purple hair and eyes. AND THOSE BLACK WINGS TO! Riah deserved him. Kagome, being the matchmaker that she was, had worked on him for forever. It had turned out he liked Riah too, but was scared she would turn him down so he went out with the stupid cheerleader type at first. Kagome was glad he turned from the dark side of the force. They would make a cute couple. Now all she needed to do was get Prongs a guy. And that would take work. It seemed she was content with staring at guys and not going out. Oh yes, this would be Kagome's FINEST achievment!
" So, Kagome. When did this whole thing happen exactly?" Prongs prodded, (snicker, prongs prodded, snicker snicker) Kagome's trail of thought was once again interrupted.
"Ummm, well, three days ago. Actually, when Koga, you know, my boss, decided he wanted me for a mate. It was...quite frightening. Then I kissed Inuyasha to prove to Koga a point. So now we are kinda pretending to go out. Yup. But hey! IM FINE WITH IT! Im dating the HOTTEST guy in school!" Kagome squealed. They were interuppted by the all too annoying ring of the bell signifying ass-movingness to get to their classes. The three said goodbye while Prongs and Riah headed off to their classes together, Dark could be seen running to catch up to Riah, and Kagome went back over to a pondering Inuyasha.
Inuyasha was about to go storming over and grab Kagome away when his all too sensative ears heard
"OMG! KAGOME! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU WERE GOING OUT WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN SCHOOL?" He guessed it was Prongs. He had been in classes with her since the third grade. She really was odd, if not cute. But cute didn't cut it for him. All too perplexed by the statement Inuyasha sat and listened to their conversation, all to aware every word that was uttered. KAGOME THINKS I'M HOT! WOW! DOESN'T THIS JUST MAKE MY DAY! Hey! that Riah girl, the canine outcast, YEAH! that's the one! SHE'S GOING OUT WITH DARK?
Inuyasha and Dark had been best friends since 8th grade. Dark was actually the reason he went bad-ass. All his stealing. Inuyasha had to admit it was fun. When he thought about it, Dark had seemed to be staring at Riah alot lately, even when he was going out with those prissy-sesshomaru wannabe cheerleaders. Hmmm...Oh well, it's his buisness who he dates, not mine. He was interrupted by the annoying sound of the bell. Inuyasha shook his head to clear out his thoughts. Then watched as Dark ran over to Riah and took her arm to escort her to classes, just realizing Kagome was standing next to him, he followed Dark's example and took Kagome's arm about his and led her to certain...well, there was really no way to describe the place they were headed to.
Inuyasha was almost dragging Kagome down the hallway when he heard the oh sooo familiar and EXTEREMELY annoying call of a certain stuck up "Priestess" "IIIIINNNNNUUUUUUYYYYAAAASSSHHHHAAAAA!" Inuyasha inwardly groanded. It was HER! That psycho freak, and not to mention slut, Kikyo.
"Damnit! Got to hide, got to hide, GOT TO HIDE!"Inuyasha said. If he didn't hurry, she would catch him. And Kagome. He would not let that dirty fingered human soil HIS Kagome. WAIT! AM I BEING POSSESIVE? I JUST CALLED KAGOME MINE! NOOOO! TO...MUCH...TIME...AROUND...KOGA! CAN'T...LET THE DARK SIDE...GRIP ME!
"Ummmm...Inuyasha? What exactly are you doing?" Kagome asked. She was staring down at him with the weirdest look on her face. Wait, why is she staring down at me? Huh? What am I doing on the floor? Inuyasha, just realizing he was twitching and reaching up at the ceiliing cleared his throat and stood up. Upon looking around, he soon came to the realization that the ENTIRE hallway was staring at him.
"Ahaha! well, ummmm...I just umm...slipped. Yeah...sorry bout that Kagome!" He said while scratching the back of his head. I hope that convinced her. If not, I'm in deep shit! Apparently it seemed to satisfy her because she shook her head a little and continued to head for class. He followed after her. Then the sound came agian.
"IIIINNNNUUUUYYYYYAAAASSSSSSHHHHHAAAAAA! OH INUYASHA! WHERE EVER HAVE YOU GONE TO! OH PLEASE COME HERE! IT'S ME! YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"
DAMNIT! DOESN'T THAT CREEP EVER GIVE UP! He thought. He needed to get to class, and quick, if he was to escape Kikyo. He started to walk faster.
"INUYASHA! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I AM OVER HERE!" He could almost see Kikyo behind him. If he was correct, she was closing the distance, and fast! Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's wrist and started to run.
"Inuyasha! What are you doing? Let me go! Come ON!" Kagome panted beside him.
"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! QUICK! AGAINST THE LOCKERS! NOW!" He commanded. She nodded and slammed herself against the lockers next to him just in time to watchAND avoid a flying Kikyo wizz past and slam head first into an opening classroom door, knocking herself unconcious.
"Phew! THAT was close!" Inuyasha said while whipping the sweat off his brow. "She almost caught me!" He started to walk forward.
"Inuyasha? What was she doing? She said she was your girlfriend!" Kagome said looking confused.
"OH, that. Well. She's crazy ya'know. She's been in love with me since she developed hormones and has been spreading rumors about me and my girlfriends in some crazed crack-pot attempt to win my love. Feh! as if that would ever happen." He said as he stepped over Kikyo, making a point to ACCIDENTALY step on her in the process.
"Oh...okay. For a moment there i thought that...well...YOU KNOW!" Kagome said as she followed him to there next class.
"...Ummmm...yeahhhh...no. No i don't. But okay. If it will make you feel better. I just stepped on her. Do you think i would do that if i liked her?" He pointed out.
"Well, no. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Anywho. I guess I'll see you next class period?" Kagome asked, clearly wanting to change the subject.
"I guess so. See ya later Kagome!" Inuyasha waved goodbye as Kagome dissapeared into her class. His was three doors down.
(HAHAHA! OH THE PUNS! THE PUNS! THAT WAS A KNEE SLAPPER! What? you didn't think so? (crys) I'M ONLY WRITING! WHY DO YOU HAFTO BE SOOOO MEAN! (blows nose) Fine then! just KEEP READING! SEE IF I CARE!) (Dumb Idiot storms off, back to her happy computer land)
Little did they know...that a dark form creeped into Kagome's class. Watching her every move... (DUN DUN DUUUUUN! insert dramatic music here)
HEY AGAIN! IT'S MEEE! Sorry about the wait. Well, i was really busy with homework and stuff but i have been trying. I guess at this rate it will take me about 1 chapter a week. Sorry. But i am trying. Anywho, i ended this one a little too soon because i thought that you guys would not keep reading a paragraph a night. Soooo, um...yah. I guess my plans are to make a chapter dedicated to each of her friends so that you guys can get to know them...Ummm...YES EEK! ONE IS FOR YOU SO JUST HOLD YOUR HORSES! or antlers...ummmm...whatever it was i gave you...Anyway. I will finish this chapter in the next chapter. If you understand that, you will know to READ ON LITTLE PRODIJEES! READ ON! MWAHAHAHAHA! (cough) ummm...yeah...sooo...Ta then? Cha! Ta!
P.S. I AM SAMURAI! AND I SHALL VANQUISH YOU NINJA! (pulls out a bottle of windex from behind back) MWAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! I HAVE FOUND YOUR TRUE WEAKNESS! (starts spraying random people in hopes that she will find the ninja in disguise)
Disclaimer: Ummm...I OWN YOU! (points at Inuyasha and co.) WAIT! WAIT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! REALLY I DIDN'T ! (covers head as she is clobbered by Disclaimer claimer Police) FINE FINE! I GIVE! I GIVE! I ONLY OWN PRONGS AND RIAH! ( D.C.P. seem satisfied and start to leave but decide not to and begin to beat Wingg again) AAAAHHHHH! (beating goes on for a while and the D.C.P. leave. But not without putting some...STRANGE device around Wingg's neck.) (Wingg crawls into a little ball in a dark corner and hides.) ( a strange pair of yellow eyes appear behind her and an aminous hand reaches out and grabs Wingg's mouth.) (Wingg then freaks and struggles to no avail. She is pulled threw whatever was keeping her there.) (the eyes seem satisfied and disapear without a trace)
