Reaching Maturity
Disclaimer: see previous
A/N: I don't portray Justin Finch-Fletchley in a positive light because I wasn't keen on the way he said he would have gone to Eton if he hadn't got his Hogwarts letter. The first time I read Chamber of Secrets he just struck me as this snobby rich boy (apologies to those that like him!) I went to the local county primary on an council estate, which did me no harm, and then to a state grammar school, which also did me no harm (it was the people that did).
A/N 2: HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE apologies for the delay in the posting of this, but I have a 3,500-word essay on mental health policy in Britain since 1998 that's due in on Monday 31st, so funnily enough that's been top of my priorities. Plus I've been ill, which has delayed me doing work.
A/N 3: "When you assume, you make an ass of u and me." (The late Robert 'Rocket' Romano, in conversation with Elizabeth Corday, in an episode of ER from about season 6 or 7; I love this quote!!)
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
Chapter 13: A Huge Row
Within the space of four days, Hermione had read the whole of the huge, leather-bound book that had been in her parcel and had scribbled down anything she thought to be of particular significance, all for Harry (although naturally she did nothing until she had finished her homework). "Interesting lives these French artists lead, don't you think?" she said meaningfully to Harry in the corridor on the way back to their common room from the library, handing him the book and notes.
Harry took them from her and scanned the notes. "Mmmm, they certainly do," he agreed thoughtfully. Oh, this was certainly interesting.
"What I still can't work out is why you're so hell-bent on helping Malfoy of all people."
"He's changed a lot this year – and don't tell me you haven't noticed; you're the most observant person in the entire school. You get the Prophet; you know they ran that story the other day saying that Narcissa Malfoy's vanished without a trace. That's bound to upset anyone."
"Except Lucius Malfoy."
"Except Lucius Malfoy," Harry agreed. "Sirius reckons that's because he knows something – or, more likely, is involved in it somehow – even though the Prophet's claiming he's 'putting on a brave face' or something along those lines."
"But why?" Hermione wondered aloud.
Harry was silent. She didn't know all the details, and from what he knew from what Draco had said, he could only speculate. "I'm sorry, Herm, but Malfoy's sworn me to secrecy."
"Over what? And why are you suddenly so bothered about not breaking his trust?" she demanded, pausing to give the password to the Fat Lady. "Harry, he's a Malfoy. They're scum, the whole family."
"Lucius Malfoy is, you mean. And perhaps Narcissa."
"Oh, so you at least partly recognise that!"
Harry whirled round to face her as she emerged into the common room from the portrait hole. "If you knew what I knew," he hissed angrily, "maybe you wouldn't be quite so harsh on Draco!"
Hermione snorted derisively. "You mean he's had a hard life or something? All that money, all that luxury…Poor Malfoy. What, does Daddy hit him or something? Come off it, Harry. He's a spoiled, nasty, malicious rich brat, nothing else. I've had to bear the brunt of his horrible personality for six years."
Harry had gone rigid, as though he had seen a Basilisk through Nearly Headless Nick.
"Harry?" said Hermione uncertainly.
"Don't mock things you don't understand," Harry snapped.
Hermione stared at him in horror, comprehension slowly dawning. "He does, doesn't he? Lucius Malfoy hits his son." She sank down into the nearest chair. "God, no wonder he acts the way he does."
They remained like that for several minutes, as though frozen in a Muggle photograph. Eventually Harry moved. "You realise that no-one else can know about this, don't you?"
"But surely Dumbledore –"
"Doesn't seem to want to get involved. And Snape probably suspects – but if he tries to do anything, it'll jeopardise his position in Voldemort's circle. And the Order needs all the information it can get from him."
Hermione nodded slowly. "Yes, you're right." She mentally shook herself. "But I still don't see where Marie-Jeanne Lenoir comes into things. The book is her old diary from when she was at school – for some reason the Ministry had it. What exactly are you hoping to find out?"
"I don't know!" Harry cried in frustration. "Maybe anything that has something to do with her old penpal's disappearance, something about her…You're the one that read it!"
"I didn't know what I was looking for," Hermione shot back, standing up. "Sorry, Harry. You're on your own with this."
Harry wearily sat down in the chair Hermione had vacated and opened the diary.
----------------------------------------------------
January slipped almost imperceptibly into February. After the visit of Lucius Malfoy, Harry and Hannah were the only two allowed to see Draco, as Pomfrey had become far more vigilant. One evening in early February, Hannah was on her way to see Draco as usual when Hufflepuff seventh-year rich boy Justin Finch-Fletchley stopped her in the corridor. "So, hurrying off to meet someone, are we?" he inquired smoothly in his posh, public-school accent. "Secret boyfriend, perhaps?"
Hannah attempted to get past him, but he blocked her path. She glared at him. "What's is to you if I am?" she asked coldly. "And if you don't move, I'll take ten points from Hufflepuff. I'm a prefect; I can do that."
Justin raised his eyebrows and put his hands in his pockets in a cocky manner. "Well, I was simply wondering who could possibly be better-looking than yours truly."
Hannah snorted scornfully. "Plenty of people. I'm sure if you looked hard enough, you'd agree with me. Or have you charmed your mirror so that it strokes further your already-huge ego every time you talk to it?"
Justin went slightly pink, though whether from embarrassment or anger Hannah couldn't tell. "So who is it?" he persisted.
Hannah reached for her wand and pointed it firmly at Justin. "I'd move if I were you."
Justin took a step back, nervously eyeing her wand. "You should watch where you point that thing."
It had had the desired effect, though, and he moved, allowing Hannah to pass. "Idiot," she muttered under her breath. That was probably the closest she had ever come to losing her temper – Hannah was a sweet, mild-tempered, sunny girl, and possibly the most easygoing student in her House, if not in the entire school. But she couldn't stand Justin and his swaggering, look-at-me-I'm-filthy-rich-and-don't-I-know-it attitude, which had only become apparent in their fifth year but had grown steadily worse since.
Draco was absorbed in making some notes from his Transfiguration textbook when Hannah arrived. He looked up when she sat down in the chair beside his bed. "Hey," he greeted her, fighting to keep the exhaustion from his voice. He lay his quill down on the wheeled overbed table that he was using as a makeshift desk.
"I do hope you haven't been working all day," Hannah commented.
Draco snorted. "As if Pomfrey would let me. You know what she's like." He rested his head in one hand. "It's taken me the best part of today to do two pages of notes from the book for McGonagall. At this rate I won't be taking my NEWTs at all this year."
"Is it that bad?" asked Hannah, distinct concern in her voice.
He nodded. "I heard Pomfrey telling Snape so the other day after Peeves caused mayhem in a fourth-year lesson and injured Snape."
"What did Snape do to Peeves?" Hannah asked, giggling. "Oh, I shouldn't laugh, but Peeves really does have it in for Snape this year."
Draco nodded. "I think he thought last May's cauldron incident was such fun that he'd do even more things just to annoy Snape even more. Anyway, as for Peeves, one of the Ravenclaws Summoned the Bloody Baron and Peeves promptly disappeared. Snape gave Ravenclaw twenty points. I heard him telling Pomfrey what happened." He grinned briefly before the exertion of the long speech caught up with him and he doubled over coughing violently.
This, of course, brought Madam Pomfrey hurrying over, glass of water and potion in her hands. "What have I told you – countless times – about talking too much?" she tutted impatiently, shaking her head. "It wouldn't kill you to obey me for once in your life! It's in your best interests. Not everyone's out to get you, even though you seem to think they are." She handed him the potion, which he downed (scowling) and then the water, before hurrying off again.
"What did she mean by that?" asked Hannah. She placed one hand on his shoulder – the same one his father had squeezed so tightly a week previously, the bruise still being faintly visible – and he pulled away. "Don't," he mumbled, drawing his knees protectively up to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly round them.
"'Don't' what?" Hannah demanded. "Is there something wrong with me all of a sudden?"
Draco could hardly bear the hurt in her eyes as she said this. She had jumped to her feet, unshed tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.
"Don't – just – just don't touch me! Please," he begged, looking up at her.
"Why?"
He shook his head determinedly. "I – I can't talk about it. Just accept that. Please, Hannah!"
"Are we friends or not?"
"Ye-es…" he replied, unsure as to what she was driving at.
"Then you tell me." She was shocked at how forceful she sounded.
He shook his head again, just as fervently, gritting his teeth as his head began throbbing again. "I can't, Hannah!" He bit his lip hard, but it didn't stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. Frantically, he attempted to blink them away, but his efforts were futile. They spilled over, onto his cheeks, falling rapidly. Hannah had frozen for a moment, but she was quick to respond to the situation, and ignored his earlier plea to her to not touch him, putting her arms around him. She let him cry into her shoulder, gently soothing and rocking him until eventually he pulled away, hiccuping slightly. "Th-thanks," he whispered, not able to bear looking at her.
She offered him the yellow handkerchief embroidered with a badger, and he gratefully accepted it.
"It's not good, is it?" she pressed cautiously.
He reluctantly shook his head.
"And you've been sworn to secrecy?"
He slowly nodded. "Sort of."
"It's been going on for a long time?"
"You know, for a Hufflepuff, you're incredibly nosy. That's a trait normally associated with
Gryffindors," he remarked lightly, before growing serious once again, dropping his head, unable to bear looking at her. "F-for as long as I can remember. And – and probably before then. I don't really remember much before I was about six. They say your memory improves as your vocabulary increases. Not that I want to remember particularly." He shuddered involuntarily. "It's like I've blocked out a lot of it because it's so bad. But then, if I blocked all the bad things out, I don't think I'd have much of a memory at all." His voice caught in his throat.
Hannah was silent for a moment, deep in thought. "Your father's involved in this, isn't he?"
"Oh yes. He's involved all right." Draco laughed; a bitter, coarse laugh.
"He abuses you, doesn't he?" Hannah said suddenly. "That's why you don't like people touching you, isn't it? Why you're so nasty to people, and a bully? Isn't it?" She suspected that nobody had used the word 'abuse' before with Draco, and knew also that he would never have admitted that that was what went on behind the heavy elegant doors of the Manor.
"Like father, like son," replied Draco resentfully, bitterly. "It's true, you know. We look alike. He's a bully, I'm a bully. He hates Mudbloods, I've been taught to do the same. He's manipulative, so am I. He worships You-Know-Who, and I'm expected to as well. He's violent, I can be when provoked enough. He lies when he can benefit from it, and so do I. He's evil and so am I."
"You really think that?" Hannah cut in angrily. "That you're evil?"
"I don't think that; I know that!" he shot back. "I'm evil. I'm pathetic and useless and a disgrace. You're wasting your time with me, Hannah! I am who I am, and it's too late to change now. Get out!"
"Draco –"
"GET OUT!" he screamed, getting out of bed and facing her.
"But –"
"Just GO!"
Something in her normally calm demeanour snapped. "Fine, then!" she hissed. "Be like that! Your father's right – you are pathetic!" She snatched up her schoolbag and ran out of the hospital wing, not knowing where she was going as she tore through the school, until she found herself outside. The sudden exposure to the cold air brought her to an abrupt halt and she kicked a low wall nearby in sheer frustration.
"Miss Abbott? I don't think Mr. Filch will be too happy if you demolish that wall."
Hannah jumped, startled, as she heard McGonagall's voice behind her. "P-P-Professor," she stammered, teeth chattering.
"Now, what brought this on? You've never struck me as a violent person before." There was a hint of amusement in the teacher's voice as she said this to the girl she saw as probably the most gentle, caring, sweet-tempered person in the whole school. "Do sit." She conjured up two steaming mugs of hot sweet tea for them both.
Hannah obligingly did so and accepted the tea. "It's one of my friends."
"Oh? Friends can be incredibly frustrating, can't they?"
Hannah sighed, nodding. "Tell me about it. He's convinced he's 'pathetic and useless' (I quote) amongst other things, and that he's evil and that it's too late to change and that he's exactly like his father," Hannah told her, the words coming out in a rush. She smiled ruefully. "Then he kicked me out."
McGonagall nodded understandingly, taking a sip from her mug. "I take it we're talking about Mr. Malfoy?"
"How do you –?"
"Who else would be made to feel that worthless by their own father?"
Hannah smiled wryly. "I suppose you have a point."
"Would I be correct in assuming that you attempted to inquire about his home life?"
"That his father uses him as a punchbag? That he abuses him really badly, physically and emotionally? That he undermines his confidence so badly that he feels completely worthless?"
"So you did."
"He never actually admitted it in as many words, but he as good as did." She paused as a thought entered her mind. "You already knew." It was not a question.
"I'm afraid so. When he returned after the Christmas holidays and I met everyone in the Entrance Hall, I saw that he was ill and took him to Poppy. When she and I assisted him in changing into nightclothes, that was when we saw the injuries. Clearly non-accidental. It's something you don't expect to see, although I had occasionally wondered about the state of his home life in the past. I know what his father's like."
"Should – should I go back and talk to him?" asked Hannah hesitantly.
"Give it a few days. It should give him time to calm down," McGonagall advised.
"Does anyone know about the abuse besides you and Madam Pomfrey?"
"Professors Snape and Dumbledore, along with, I understand, Mr. Potter and his godfather." The head of Gryffindor rose and turned to Hannah. "Come inside or you'll make yourself ill, Miss Abbott. And I doubt Poppy will be too sympathetic."
Hannah dutifully picked up her schoolbag (which generally went everywhere with her, carrying all sorts of oddments and adorned with a mass of badges and small soft toys for keyrings, attached to the zips). She was headed straight for bed. She needed to think things through carefully before she decided on what to do next, and she did not want to be interrupted.
----------------------------------------------------
How could he have been so stupid? He'd screamed at probably his only friend, and now he'd lost her. Smart move, Malfoy, he berated himself. You're definitely your father's son. And now he had Madam Pomfrey to contend with. Not good. Really not good.
"Just what has been going on here?" demanded Pomfrey sharply. "Back into bed. Now."
He didn't dare disobey. Anyone who disobeyed Pomfrey when she was 'having a hissy fit' (the words of one Blaise Zabini) would soon wish they hadn't done so.
She handed him something dark green and foul-smelling. "Drink. It'll calm you down. You're shaking." He took it and she sat down beside him. "Well? I heard shouting. Angry shouting. Care to enlighten me?"
He shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He coughed feebly, his outburst beginning to hit him hard.
"She'll be back," Pomfrey assured him, giving his shoulders a gentle squeeze.
"No she won't," muttered Draco dully. He lay down and rolled over, his back to Pomfrey, and buried his face in his pillow. He'd blown it completely. Hannah would never come back.
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
TBC
author thanks:
CloudofDreams: I'd only posted chapter 12 about 10 minutes before I got your review!! I am saying nothing on the issue of Draco's illness; you'll just have to wait and see. Do tell about your suspicions on the origins of Narcissa's letter! I'm intrigued. The student Death Eater could be anyone from fifth year upwards; things like Harry producing a true Patronus soon get around the school, so even if the Death Eater isn't a seventh-year, they'll soon hear. If Lupin mentioned it in another lesson it would look suspicious, whereas casually dropping it into the lesson on Patronuses just seems natural and wouldn't raise the alertness in any of the other students.
I've heard rumours about Harry and Luna, but I'm not sure what I think about that pairing. I'm saying nothing about Hermione's parcel, because by the end of chapter 13 you'll know what it is anyway. Narcissa does care for Draco in her own way, but she is also a Black. Self-preservation is high on her list of priorities – if she intervened with what Lucius was doing to Draco, he could easily turn on her (and she knows it). I know it's dark, but it's set in very dark times – I anticipate that HBP will be significantly darker than OotP. Also, I wrote this when I was going through a really horrendous time. I love Poppy; she's a great character. Snape's one of my favourite characters; he's incredibly complex and intriguing. If you like Severus-fics, go and read Atana's work!!! I haven't seen Sense and Sensibility; I am not an Austen fan. I'm much more a Brontë fan.
Lucidity: interesting description of Draco as a "hero"! But then, he is really if you're going on Lit lingo! Snape would have been watching him closer, but he doesn't dare risk taking his eyes off people like Crabbe and Goyle – would you?! Draco's more than competent at Potions (normally, at any rate). And Snape does care about him, even if he isn't very good at showing it. You'll find out what Hermione's parcel is in chapter 13. I wouldn't describe Hannah as naïve; it's more a case of she's very nice and 100 Hufflepuff. She knows what Draco's like but she can see past the horrible parts and see why he is the way he is. She's just a really kind, really forgiving person who has a firm belief in giving people second chances.
Riob: YOU are swearing?! Did I read that correctly?! ;) I didn't realise I had that much of an effect on you! Looks like I'm doing a really good job!! Is the original version coming back to you at all or do you still remember next-to-nothing? Lucius can be that uncaring simply because he is Lucius Malfoy. I'm glad you've got questions; it means I'm keeping you in suspense and hooked on my story!!! (insert evil cackle here) Thank you loads for the Latin info!!! Oh, speaking of which, don't suppose you could tell me what the Latin for table is, could you?
Ruperts-a-honey: but we love Draco really, so we make him suffer! It gets him sympathy! (And you know how much he loves attention, so he'll milk it for all it's worth!) No worries about the questions; it tells me that I'm doing a good job of keeping you all in suspense and not revealing everything immediately.
Dark Lady Arantraneth: You may have to try a bit harder to get Lucius to be nice; I'm fairly sure he's blasted the word out of his dictionary, a bit like Mrs. Black did with some members of her family!
Ladeportista4: Yay!! A new reviewer!!
The Lady Quotes: You're just going to have to put up with Draco being ill, I'm afraid! You don't seriously think he's going to go out in sub-zero temperatures and not suffer the aftereffects, now, do you?!
Heartsyhawk: yay! ANOTHER new reviewer! You would be right about Draco's situation.
Samhaincat: I've not had problems logging in, although it won't always display the page. I hate it when that happens!! You have my sympathy. Glad you're liking the angsty stuff. There's plenty more of it to come!
Rebell: I wanted to show Draco's past because then it would give people a much better insight into why is the way he is and why he's so scared of his father. This point seemed as good a place as any in which to insert it. It makes him much more of a real person.
Evanescent Dawn: where do I start in replying to your review?!?!?! First of all, keep the Draco-sympathy coming!! He's really had a rough ride, and I happen to be of the opinion that he's more complex than JK tends to write him. He didn't alert Dumbledore because remember that he's a Slytherin and his father has drilled it into him that Dumbledore is a crackpot. Those kind of automatic thoughts and feelings are hard to change. And I'm not saying anything about the person/people who has/have Narcissa. I'm glad you're liking Hannah; she's a sweet girl. I'm just about the only person on that I know of that writes Hannah/Draco. It's not exactly the sort of pairing most people would even consider. She cares for him too much now to pull away.
I read slash. I generally don't write it (despite having a less-than-conventional sexual orientation myself). There are NO slash suggestions in this fic; assume most of the characters are straight. Regarding Draco's childhood, yes, it is horrible, and I thank God every day that I never went through anything like that. I've always been convinced that his home life is less than wonderful, whatever he might say to other people. Justin annoys me no end – as I think is explained at the top. With the Harry/Ron/Hermione scene, I hope all becomes clear by the end of chapter 13! I'm intrigued by your mention of a conspiracy; care to enlighten me??? Pretty please?
AshleyPorter: I'm not familiar with Gilmore Girls. Am I to assume that it's a TV programme?
TinorialPeredhil: Snape likes the "final and doom-filled" moments, as you put it; it adds to dramatic effect. Apologies accepted!! Perfectly understandable. And kick Lucius down the stairs! He deserves no less! And romantically, you know me too well!!
