Chapter Six
You know how it is when you become good friends with your patient who's a CIA
agent that has contracted some mysterious almost fatal virus that thankfully
has an antidote that the CIA agent he's in charge of, that just happens to be
in love with him and he her, gets to save his life?
Come to think of it, you probably don't. I don't know what the Hell I was
thinking.
Syd stayed by Michael's side all night -- he of course asleep, and she just
staring at him, her eyes glazed over with tears.
But I, like the trusty side-kick I am, was there for most of the night,
entertaining Sydney with my quick wit and my uncanny imitation of an albino
hedgehog.
**Flashback**
"It really is frighteningly good, JD..."
"I've been doing it my whole life, Syd, of course it's frighteningly
good."
**End Flashback**
I have to admit, I had a lot of fun last night, just chilling with Syd. It was
like a slumber party or something.
**Daydream**
"No! Then what he say?" I ask, painting Sydney's toes with the
pink nailpolish I'm holding in my hands.
"He asked me to go to dinner with him at a Trattoria di Nardi! Can
you believe that?!" She takes her foot off my knee.
"Ooh, my turn!" I exclaim giddily as stretch my leg and let my foot rest
near her. Syd looks a bit disgusted at first, but she sucks it up and reaches
her hand out for the nailpolish I'm holding.
"Well, what did you say?"
"What does it look like I said? He's sitting in the bed with an unsaid
profession of love in his head, and I'm here painting your nails."
"Awww," I say, sympathetic at first, then pick up the pillow beside
me and stand up, starting to jump on the bed. "Pillow fight!"
"Yay! You always know just how to make everything perfect, JD."
"I know...Hey! SHIRTLESS pillow fight! Last one to take off their shirt
has to take off their pants too!"
"No fair!"
Life is good.
**End Daydream**
"Who are you daydreaming about now? That prissy little CIA agent you've
been sucking up to and drooling over for the past day?" I turn around and
come face to face with an either really angry or really jealous Elliot. It
could be both. Either way, I'm really scared, but kinda liking it.
"Umm, no..."
"Yes, you were."
"No I wasn't," I say, laughing nervously, turning around and leaving
the locker room with Elliot right on my tail.
Oh if only she were really on my tail. And by tail I mean ass. And that is of
course all sexual innuendo. In case you missed it.
But then again, what's not sexual innuendo when I speak?
"Just admit it, JD. You have the hots for her and she has the hots for him
so you're just gonna be left in the dust."
I turn around quickly and shake my head.
"What does it matter to you? First of all, I think she's hot, yes, but
we're only friends. I'm friends with Mike too, and I'd never hit on the woman
he loves more than anything else in this world. Second of all, even if I were
in mad love with Sydney and ran away with her and fathered like a million of
her babies, it wouldn't wouldn't matter because you gave this up--" I
point to myself obnoxiously then turn back around and head toward where Mike's
bed is.
"Mike? Friends with them? JD, you've known them for what? Two days? Two
days and you've already ditched us for them. I don't know if I will stand for
such blatant abandonment of your best friends."
Last time I checked, Turk was too busy "chillaxin" with the surgeons
upstairs and Carla was just checking on her patients as usual. And Elliot?
She's just been bitter that I've made cool new friends and she hasn't.
"Whatever, Elliot, you're just jealous."
"Hell yes, I'm jealous." She says immediately. Wow, I wasn't
expecting such an open declaration. "I want to get in that man's pants,
and and you're going to be my ticket in."
**Daydream**
"Tickets for the ride of a lifetime inside Michael Vaughn's pants...Only
two dollars. Covers the whole day...I'll even open the belt buckle up, but
leave you the pleasure of unbuttoning and zippi--
**End Daydream**
Damn, that was creepier than usual. So creppy I had to stop myself in
midsentence. That's damn creepy.
"Elliot, I'm not going to do anything of the sort. Now shoo, you scare
him." I say, turning around to shoo her with my hands a few feet from his
bed.
She gasps and puts her hands on her hips.
"I will not forget this, JD. Next time you want a sex buddy, you're
gonna have to find someone else."
F-ck.
She storms away, leaving me to turn back around and check out how it's going
down in the angst-ridden, full of unresolved sexual tension sector of the
hospital.
I stand for a moment, with my arms crossed, just staring at them in wonder. I
can't even begin to imagine how complicated their life must be.
**Daydream**
"You have to go, Sydney, their's no other choice."
"No, I want to stay and make out with you."
Mike throws the files he was holding out to her over his shoulders and pulls
her close to him.
"Sounds good to me." He says before mauling her with his lips.
**End Daydream**
Sweeeeeeet.
I'll have to remember to ask Mike how super-secret spy sex is. And I'll
emphasize the s's so he'll acknowledge my mad alliterating skillz.
Skillz with a Z.
SkillZ.
I shake my head and look back at the two of them. Sydney fell asleep in the
chair next to Mike's bed. her hand resting on their clasped hands. Mike is
sleeping too--
Holy crap!
All of a sudden, he leans his head upwards and opens his eyes with a huge grin
on his face. I have to admit, that was a little creepy, but hella funny,
regardless. He gives me the most conspicuous wink ever known to man, and I just
shake my head. Right at that moment, Syd stirs, and he quickly pretends to be
asleep once again.
The man is insane. All these years doing those covert missions and all that
crap has officially driven him insane. If I were him I would have just woken
her up and had mad monkey sex right there in the middle of the hospital, for
everyone to see.
**Daydream**
[cue trashy porno-flick music]
Syd and Mike are going at it like rabid bunnies, the clothes flying everywhere,
and me, Turk, Elliot, and Carla are all sitting on the front desk watching as
we pass the popcorn.
"Damn," Turk says, twisting his neck to get a better angle.
"Damn doesn't even begin to describe it," I say, shoving the popcorn
in my mouth, and twisting my neck in the same direction as Turk.
"You guys are such pervs," Carla says, jumping off the counter, as
she starts to walk away. "Sure they may be doing it in the middle of the
hospital but that doesn't give you a right to intrude on their private moment.
Come on, Elliot, let's go."
Elliot tilts her head, her mouth wide open.
"Damnnnnn." She says simply before tossing some popcorn into her
mouth.
Carla throws her arms into the air and sighs before taking off down the hall.
I whip out a notepad and start taking furious notes of what I'm watching.
"Dude, make sure you copy that for me," Turk says, leaning over.
"Me too."
It's like. Real live porno.
Porno. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
**End Daydream**
Sydney's head slowly lifts up off of Mike's hands and she looks around briefly.
Her eyes settle on Mike's sleeping form, and she takes her hands out of his,
and looks down at the ground. I clear my throat to get her attention, and she
turns around, startled at first.
"Oh, hey JD." She says as I make my way towards her.
"I take it you stayed the night. I could have gotten you something a
little bit more comfortable to sleep in than this broken down old chair."
"No, don't worry about it," she says, standing up, "I've had to
deal with worse." She looks at me, then back at Mike, and her eyes stay
glued to him. "You know, I gotta get out of here...I have to be at work
and I can't go dressed in the same clothes I was dressed in yesterday. Tell
Vaughn I was here, alright?" She asks, finally tearing her eyes off him
and looking at me.
"Sounds great." I say. She smiles and mumbles a thank you before
turning around so she could lean down and place a kiss on his forehead. She
stays there for a moment, letting her hand rest on the side of his face, then
takes it off, and rushes out.
"I have to go."
"Bye!" I call out as the automatic sliding doors close behind her.
"Sha-WING!" I turn around and laugh as I see Mike sitting up in his
bed doing a little victory dance in place.
"You sly dog, you." I say as I walk up to him.
"Did you see that? Did you see that? Hand holding, fore head
kissing...Good God."
"You sound like you're in the seventh grade, dude." I say, laughing.
**Flashback**
"And then, she let me hold her hand!" Tommy said excitedly to me as
we wander through the halls.
"Tommy," I stop in my tracks and turn to him, "tell me what it's
like to talk to a girl."
"Man, you're wierd..."
Dammit!
**End Flashback**
"Do you blame me? I know for a fact that you'd be celebrating far more if
what just happened to me happened to you."
**Daydream**
Sydney leaves and I leap up from the bed and stand on it with my hand placed on
my hips, my head tilted upward triumphantly.
"Hit it boys," I signal to to the choir boys who come to sing to
patients, and they start singing the theme to Shaft accapella while I do my
half Axl Rose half J.Lo dances giddily.
**End Daydream**
"Yeah, you're right."
"Dammit, I feel good." Mike says, with the already huge grin on his
face growing more by the second.
"You look good." I say, with a smile. "And...I don't mean
that...In any homo...Sexual way..." He looks at me strangely, and I just
hang my head in shame. "I guess the antidote worked it's charm on that
virus of yours, huh buddy?" I ask, changing the subject.
"I feel like a new man JD. I've seen the light, and now I know what I have
to do." He says, suddenly becoming serious.
"I'm glad." I say, nodding my head.
"All night...Damn, we slept together JD. Not sex slept together, but slept
together! This is huge! She even drooled on my hand! I'm never washing this
hand again," he said, sniffing his hand, then holding it away from
himself.
Yeah, that's gross.
"Come to think of it, maybe I will..."
"You do understand what you still have to do, right?" I ask.
He calms himself, looks down, then back up at me and nods.
"Yeah, I know." I smile, and he just shakes his head, the grin
spreading across his face once more.
"Dude, JD, thank you so much. You've just been--"
"You don't need to thank me man," I say, shrugging. Good ole modest
JD. That's what he's here for. To play cupid and ensure that the world will be
graced with more hot people to come.
And by that, I mean their kids. Cause you know they're gonna churn out children
like no other. And they're all gonna be hot kids...
And I don't mean that in a--
Dammit, you know what I mean!
"I have to go see her--" Mike says, trying to stand up, but still
feeling too weak. I rush over to his side, and grab his arm, helping him get
settled back into his bed.
"You're not going anywhere. You have to get checked out, one last
time...Make sure nothing bad's going on in there, then you can go run into her
loving arms, profess your love to each other, and make out like little rabid
animals."
"Dude, that's just wierd."
"Yeah, sorry."
"Don't worry about it."
We laugh, and I turn around to see what Kelso's making such a big fuss about by
the front desk.
"How am I supposed to run a hospital when we can't even admit patients and
the staff is sitting around in their pajamas sipping pina coladas and
strawberry daiquiris?!?"
END CHAPTER SIX
