My Happy Ending

Faint


He sat down right in front of me gazing emptily like me into the fire. Eventually he spoke. "Why to you hate me all of a sudden Evans?" Evans? No one has ever just called me by my last name before... well expect for teachers. "I mean what did it do?" he continued.

And for a moment I sat there and thought. I thought of anything that he should have done, that would protect me from myself for the truth.

"What you've don't Potter? What you've done?" I start speaking, my voice rising, I thought of exactly the reason, or should I say a reason, to hate him. "Well it has come to my attention that, for starters, you always need someone to pick on, hexing people just because you can. You strut around here like you own the place, which you DON'T! You are always in trouble, always playing pranks, always craving attention, you never pay any attention in class, and yet you still manage to get top marks... probably by cheating, speaking about cheating, you are with a new girl each week. To sum it all up, because I could go on forever, a CARELESS, ARROGENT, CINIVING, MESSY-HAIRED IDIOT, AND I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU, IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!" (James has asked me out every year since we got here, and I have always gently put him down.) After my speech and many stares that were coming from every direction I calmly stood up and walked out the door.

I was walking quickly away, anywhere was better than there, back in that place, with him... those hazel eyes. I lean up against a wall and slide down it, tears once again prickling the back of my eyes like they do every day, they are never dry any more. I think about how fake I have to be, I already am, just to conceal me true feelings. But then I think about how, conniving Potter really is and how he should be hated and it puts me to ease, even though I'm still crying.

I hear someone coming, and yelling my name, I would have usually gotten up, and slipped into an empty classroom, but I was paralyzed. It was like my tears were weighing me down. No one has ever seen me cry here, never shown my real hurt. But for some reason, that didn't matter to me right now. Remus comes around the corner panting, still calling my name, he see's me and slides down the wall like I did still trying to catch his breath, still trying to catch my gaze.

"Lily what has gotten into you?" there is a tinge of anger in his voice, but after all james is one of his bestfriends. "I mean all of a sudden you hate James, and talking so cold to every one that wants to be nice to you... well except for me..." he doesn't try to meet my gaze any longer, he knows that it is know use, and yet, I want to see if he is still so cold, still like me.

"Remus... Re...look at me." He moves his head and I see the thing that I was most worried about, he was freezing over, like I did so many years ago, it is hard to get warmth into you, after that, hard for people to get in. His eyes are like ice, and I don't know why... Why do I care so much? I think. It must have been awhile because, he spoke again.

"Lily, you know that I do care about you... but I cant go on like this... you not letting me inside--"

"Re, you know that I cant you know that its hard--"

"I know, but I thought that after 2 years, you would soften, notice that I only wanted to help, not hurt, I have never asked you for anything, but I need you to do this for me, I need for you to let me in..."

"I know, but its just hard, I need time..."

"Then I will give you time, when you actually want to talk to me, you know where I am... I have wanted to know you, help you, but I see I can no longer be of services, so when you need me, I hope I still need you!" His voice so cold, it gave me chills, and that was it, the last I saw of Remus, far a while, Monday came and went, and so it was Tuesday, a long day that was.

I stood outside the transfiguration room, we have it with the students from Ravenclaw every day but Monday. It was usually uneventful but today, it was different. Professer McGonagall and swishing around the corner, and flew inside the classroom, the rest of the class started filing in, and taking their usual seats, but she quickly spotted them and sent us all to the back of the room.

"For the rest for the year we are going to be doing very difficulty transformations of both animals and students, I would like you all to pair up I boy/girl partners, and I will be placing you around the room, if there are and disruptions I will change your partners... well go on then." I give a hopeful glance at Remus, but he is already paired up with Lissa. I shot another glance at Ray from Ravenclaw no such luck he was paired to... the only one that didn't have a pair was James. No. I thought silently, please any one but him.

"Does every one have a partner?" Those words go through the air, and like air they were invisible. I did not answer. And then the next thing I knew I was sitting beside Potter, I wasn't really there though, I mean it was me, but not really. My body was there but my mind was else where. But, I soon came crashing to the ground... Literally. "Lily!" I hear James's voice shout, but I cant respond. I am aware of every thing what is going on yet I cant move, I am parilized. Something weird came over me, and I am now lieing on the floor, dead on the outside, but yet, I am still there, and there is warmth around me, there is hope, and I feel warm soft hands pick me off the ground, and I am happy.

Those soothing hands, that soothing touch, I am alive for the first time in a really long time, I can feel warmth, and I open my eyes, and I see, him beside me. And this time the warmth stays a little longer... but like always it goes away. And I am hit with a sudden rush of cold, and darkness, that is it unbearable.

But yet when I look at him, he is so beautiful, and I know that I cant have him, I wont allow myself to. Even though he is the one who can show me warmth... he also brings me to a place that I cant bare.

I fall into a trace again. The rest of the day remains hazy and I can only remember those, hazel eyes, and the love they hold. But I can have him, I cant.


What do you think? R&R

Next Chapter even better... More of Jade!