My Happy Ending
Telling Everything
But all good things must come to an end, and so as the song ended, we broke away from each other.
"Do you want to go back inside, it is really cold out here?" James asked me. I nodded and we made our way back into the great hall.
"Do you want to find, Jade and Sirius?" I asked him, I was to happy to even think about how cold I was.
"Yeah, sure." James answered, and so we made our way through the crowded dance floor to a small rounded table in the back corner. Jade was on Sirius's lap and was representing England in an all out snog-a-thon.
"Ahem." I said with a smirk on.
"Oh hi Lily, James. I didn't notice you there." Jade said
"I knew you wouldn't." I said. "I'm going to get drinks, any body want one?" Three hands arose and I couldn't help but laugh as I walked away.
"Oh and bring back two pastries LILYKINS!" Sirius's voice yelled after me.
And I smiled, and was happy. The end! Well I wish I could have ended my life there at least, and told you that James and me lived happily ever after, but that was not the case. Because when I came back with the drinks no one was there, and James, was on the other side of the great hall with Trish. And I felt weak, and hurt like I had just been slapped in the face, so I did the only thing I am good at… I ran.
I don't think James noticed me leave, and if he did he didn't have the decency to come after me. And I felt stupid, stupid for getting dressed up, stupid for letting James and Jade in, but most of all stupid doe allowing myself to care, and start to feel, when so long ago I swore I never would.
'But this cant be true,' I told myself over and over again; 'James was so sincere'. "He was lying cant you see?" the voice in the back of my head said.
I ran, for what felt like forever, until I just couldn't run any more, and then I just gave up and blacked out.
The next day I awoke with a splitting headache and a tear stricken face, I was also in my dorm… 'Odd I don't remember running here'. Then I saw him; right on the edge of my bed and something came over me, poison. I was in shock for a moment wondering how he got up here, then I remembered all of what happened last night, and cringed. I just could take it, I trusted him, I let him in, and here he sleeps peacefully, after being with HER. No I couldn't take it. And that's when I lashed out.
I don't remember exactly what I said, only that he was shocked and I ran into the bathroom before he could explain himself, not that there was anything to explain. He lied. End of story. But that was a while ago, a couple of weeks ago, and the snow filled ground of Hogwarts was starting to melt, to let patches of green pop up at random places.
And once again, however painfully pathetic it seems, I am alone, and Jade is off with her new boyfriend…happy, and James is off with Trish…happy. And I am in the library already starting my revision for exams, alone. And that's how I will always be, alone. Because I can't let myself loose control of what is going on in front of me. I will never be happy. 'But I was happy,' I tell myself, 'I was happy with him.'
However true that is, that is not in the equation any more. Then the doors open to the library and I cant bare to look up, at another group of chattering people, but when I hear footsteps coming my way and a voice asks my name nervously, I am drawn to the deep warmness. And I am shocked at what I see.
"Re?" (AN: I was going to leave it here, but this chap isn't long enough lol)
"Yes Lily its me." He replies coldly.
"Well what do you want?" I ask trying to keep the cold out of my voice at his reply.
Then he said two words I was not expecting, "James back."
"What?" I say startled.
"You herd me…"
"Re I--"
"No Lily you have hurt too many people already, you basically killed James that night, Jade is a mess, Sirius doesn't know how to comfort her, she thinks that this is all her fault, and most of all, me. You left me when I needed some one, you know that James and Sirius cant understand but you do, and you ignored me." He spat the last few words, then sighed. "I told you to come to me when you were ready, but I… they…uh…do you get it?" he could barley talk so many emotions consuming him.
"I… I didn't…know…" then I realized what I was saying, and anger bubbled inside of me. "Wait, James left me that night at the ball to be with Trish, who is, if I am not mistaken his new girlfriend. Sirius I did nothing to! Jade… well I will have to talk to her, I just basically want everyone off my back!"
"What about me Lily!"
"You… Remus, why are you forcing me to open up, when I so desperately don't want to, I just was to be left alone in my own solitude!"
"Because I know that it's not true! Cant you tell by know that I see right through you, cant you see that after all these years, all you want is some one to break through, no matter how scared you are. Cant you see--"
"THAT'S ENOUGH REMUS!" I screamed. And without having to be told I left the library, and once again I was running, but unlike the other times I have some one chasing me, and this person is much faster and gabs a hold of me just as I am about to turn the corner.
"NO LILY!" he yells, then lowers his enraged voice. "I wont let you run any more." And with those words, I do something I have never done in front of anyone else, I cried, and I fell to the ground in his arms and told him every thing. And after I said everything, about my loneliness and my solitude, I cried more, until I had no tears left to cry, and he smiles, because he was the one that broke through, he was the one that gave me hope… that saved me from such cold grasps of emotion, and the death inside me.
AN: well? What do you think of my new chapter, this story is not done yet, I just had writers block for a while, I wasn't sure how to continue this, well any way lets hope I get reviews, I need to know weather to continue or not.
