Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. There, simple, ain't it?
(italics) - singing; words from Jodeci's 'Cry For You' and 'Lately', which I also don't own
(bold) reading
(bold/italics) whispering; second thoughts
I'm sitting here, all by my lonely self. There's nothing but the sweet sea breeze flowing onto my face, the smell of sea salts lightly flaring into my nostrils. The moon is full, floating overhead in the heavens, stars both small and big shining ever so brightly. There are clouds in the sky, but none to block it, and it's taking me inside its beauty. Sometimes I sit out here, on top of the tower, because it's the only place where I can feel at peace. I'll head to the mountains sometimes, and look at the moon, but the tower gives me a feel if I'm at the beach. That's what I like about living here: It gives you the beach atmosphere without getting crushed by a wave. But I'd give anything to actually get the real deal and feel the sand between my toes, and hold hands with her…
'Terra…'
I miss her so damn much, it's hurting me inside. We said we'd find a way to help her, but we haven't done anything. I'm feeling like I broke a promise that I said I'd keep. But right now, I'm just sitting her, admiring the moon in all of its glory. I'm so caught up, I don't even notice that someone has just sat right beside me. Then a minute later, I hear Raven's voice.
"What are you doing?" she asks. I don't even look at her and say, "Just thinking about something." Then, silence fills my ears again, and I hear a seagull squawking above us. I didn't even think they flew at this time of night, and I slightly let my lips up into a partial smile as it flies in front of the moon. "Beautiful." That's all I can say. I look at Raven and she stares up into the sky I was just looking at a minute ago.
"It sure is." Raven closes her eyes and lets the ambience settle into her. I never noticed how she looks when she's not bashing on Cyborg and me fighting over video games. A minute later, I look back at the sky and sigh, trying to figure out what's wrong with me. They keep telling me to let it go, but I can't. You can't let a person you love go. Raven seems to know what I'm thinking, and says, "Beast Boy…I know that you miss Terra, and you wanted to help her…but she's gone. We're trying to find a cure."
"No, we're not. We haven't done a thing ever since she became trapped inside that hell of a stone prison." I say, anger almost spitting out of my mouth. "We made a promise…or at least I made a promise. I intend to keep it."
"How? What are you going to do, go to every main scientific facility and say, 'I want you to find a cure to release my friend from being in stone'? Beast boy, things like this take time. I swear, we'll find a cure to bring Terra back."
I stare at Raven, getting up, and say, "Listen…I'm sorry for busting out on you. It's just that I'm so mad we're not doing anything to help bring Terra back. I--I don't know what comes over me, but I just can't stop thinking about her."
"We don't stop thinking about her either. Every fight that we are in, all of them are for Terra, hoping that she'll come back to us one day." Raven says, looking dead at me. I smile and say, "You know, for someone who didn't like her, you sure seem like you were her best friend." I think I strike a nerve when I say that, but Raven says nothing, and walks back inside, softly closing the door instead of the slam I was thinking of getting. At that moment, I stare back at the sky and do my usual routine of singing a song…a song that my father used to sing every time my mother was gone, but put my spin on it.
"It's been an hour, since you been gone. And that's too long, so come back home. I can't live without you…so I'll cry for you." Just then, I hear another voice besides mine come from behind me, and I hear Cyborg singing what is the next verse of the same song. It seems that Raven didn't close the door enough for them to hear me singing, but it feels nice to have someone singing the same tune with me.
"Do anything that I can, to feel that touch from your hand. Sorry that I want you…lady, what do I do?" Cyborg and Robin smile at me, and the two of them sit on both sides of me, as we look at the moon and continue singing.
"You know you're everything I do…do what you want me to…I would do anything. Get on my knees for you…what else is there to do? I don't know, I don't know…but I'll cry. Lady I, will cry for you tonight…tonight. Lady I, will cry for you tonight…tonight."
The three of us shake hands and I look at the both of them, with both a smile and surprise on my face. "How do you know that song?"
"Man, Jodeci was the group back when I was little, before all this," Cyborg says, putting emphasis on this, meaning before he became what he is now. I look at Robin and he says, "I'm eclectic…I like all music except country. I'll listen to it sometimes, but I just can't get the feeling of it. But back then, I loved that song. Me and my brothers sang it every time they lost a girlfriend." The three of us continue looking at the moon, and Robin says, "I know we haven't been living up to our promise Beast Boy, but we've been so busy with these random fights and trying to protect the city. I know how you feel, but I promise, we'll find that cure."
"But it's going to be hard BB." Cyborg says. "There aren't many scientists in the world that can turn a person back to normal after being turned into stone. That's like asking Snow White to wake up without kissing her."
I sigh and say, "We're trying so damn hard to protect the city, I forget sometimes the promise that I made. Every time I do, I come out here and stare into the night, feeling like hell, wondering if there'll ever be a time when we will find that cure. We promised her…I know we all didn't make it, but we promised her we find it." I run my hands through my green hair and lean back on the concrete, looking into the endless abyss that is outer space. "If we die one day, protecting this city, it'll be an empty promise."
Robin's face turns into a surprise gasp, but then returns to its normal stoic, concentrating stare, and at the last minute, turns into utter and complete sadness. "We could possibly never find a cure, and she'd be trapped like that forever, no one by her side. Damn…I…never thought of it like that."
Silence fills the air except for the crashing of waves hitting the rocks, and I ask, "So, is Starfire probably going to come out next, to talk to me?"
"No," Robin says, "She's sound asleep. Me, Cy, and Raven figured you'd need some cheering up." It ends there, and the three of us continue where we left off, singing, each of us taking a line.
"You spoil me girl, like a child…when you're not here I can't even smile." Robin sings, just like the fifteen-year-old equivalent to Justin Timberlake.
"I can't think without you…my mind is always with you." Cyborg lets the words flow out of his mouth like smooth butter, and then it's my turn. "It's amazing what you do…to keep me falling in love with you. Girl, you're all that I know…where else can I go?"
I don't seem to know it, but there are tears flowing down my eyes as I sing the words, letting them come down my face like a river, and look over to Robin and Cyborg, who have noticed my sniffling, and Cyborg hands me a tissue, one of his many uses, and instead of my usual comedy sneezes, this one is real…I'm crying in sadness…over the fact that I might never see Terra again…and it took those single lines for me to realize it…to realize that I truly loved her. I'm wishing that I could somehow go back in time and never yell at her after I found out she worked for Slade…it's my fault for letting her go. I should've just picked my feet up and ran after her after she thought I told them she didn't have any control over her power. Damn it, I could've grabbed her by the shoulders and twisted her around to face me, and tell--no, yell at her right then and there, those three simple words: "I LOVE YOU!" But now it's too late. She's gone. I ask myself, 'Now what? Can I find myself another to love?'
Another side responds, 'No way. It came outside of your mouth and you said it yourself…you love the girl, man.'
'But what if she never comes back? If we never find the cure?' I respond to my mental alter ego.
'Stop thinking so damn negatively, and hope. Pray that you'll find the cure and she'll come back to you.'
I snap out of my trance to notice that Robin and Cyborg have left my side, and the door leading to the tower has been closed, and I hear footsteps walking away from the door. I turn back to the sky, and the clouds have gathered, looking like it could rain any minute. I get on one knee to get up, but something tells me to stay…stay and wait for the rain. I sit back down and sure enough, the rain starts to pour and I take it in like a little kid watching it for the first time.
The rain comes down harder now, and a streak of lightning flashes across the sky, and I swear I see a figure looking like Terra in the clouds. I shake it off, and finally decided to head inside before I start to feel sick, the rain picking up, and turning my suit into a damp rag. Inside, I turn into a dog, and shake off the excess water, then turn back, my suit still lightly wet, but a comfortable enough to walk in. Then I head towards to my room to change, and try to relax. I take off my dampened uniform and grab my black shirt and green shorts, and jump into my bed, trying to get some sleep. But I can't seem to fall asleep, so I head the control room, the lights turned off, and I see a note left in the kitchen.
'Hey, man, me, Robin, and Rae left to go and get some food from the store. It's a pizza coming for you, just like you like it, so you can forget about us. We'll be back in a few minutes. Cyborg.' I ball the note up and shoot the paper into the trashcan, then jump over the couch, and instead of grabbing a controller to turn on the GameStation, I grab the remote control and let the screen up, to stare at the rain falling from the sky, and sit back in the couch, the linen cloth warming my body. Then, I press a few buttons on the remote and a stereo comes down, and a soft melody plays, relaxing me, and the scene of falling rain is like a calming, moving painting now: beautiful, yet calming. I don't know what comes over me, and I start singing again, just to remind me of Terra.
"Lately I've had the strangest feeling…with no vivid reason here to find. But yet the thought of losing you's been hanging…around my mind." I look straight at the sky, the rain falling like it's going into my eyes, and I close them, to take in the sound of the rainfall more clearly…and it never sounded more beautifully…like an orchestra. "Far more frequently, you're wearing perfume…and with you say 'No special place to go'. But when I ask, will you be coming back soon, you never know…never know." The rain is falling even heavier as I walk over to the glass and lean on it, so the rain can hide my tears as I cry. Pictures of Terra and mine's date flash through my mind as I stare through the rain, and the tears flow down my face even faster and my face stifles as the music still flows from the speakers and the words from my mouth.
"I'm a man of many wishes…hope my premonition misses…but what I really feel, my eyes won't let me hide…cause they always start to cry." I wipe the tears away from my face and stare with more intention in my heart, wishing to see Terra again. "Cause this time could mean good--goodbye."
I hear the doorbell ring and a guy yelling, "Yo, pizza!" I pause the music, and head for the front door, about 150 feet down. I open the door, and a ragged haired guy is standing there with the pizza cover, and I look behind him to see a motorboat painted black and blue in the water tied on a rock, the waves trying to push it off into the water. The guy gives me the pizza, and before I pay, I check to see if it really is like I eat it, and it sure is: a veggie pizza with soy cheese. I pay for the pizza and the guy notices my tear-stained face.
"Whoa, you lose your girl, brah?" he asks, looking at my face. I just stare at the pizza and quietly say "Yeah...something like that."
"Sorry, dude." The guy gives me back the money and pats me on the shoulder. "Here, man. I can't take the money of a heartbroken man." Then he turns around and runs back to his boat. I head back to the control room, and place the pizza on the couch, and take a slice out of the box and hold it to my face, but I can't find myself to eat it and I start to feel like hell, and place it back and close the box, and place it in the oven. I go back to the couch and spread out on it, my mind still on Terra. I stare back at the rain falling onto the window. Then I think I've become paranoid when I think I hear a slight whisper of my name.
'Beast Boy.'
I look around for the source of the voice, and see nothing, then I turn back around to stare back at the window, and I see Terra staring straight at me, and I jump back, surprised, and rub my eyes, thinking I'm seeing things, but the image is still there...there she is, Terra...just as I left her in that cave all those months ago, with the golden glow around her body. She takes a step towards, then she throws her left hand towards the stereo, and the music comes back on, the beat perfect for this moment. She steps toward me, placing a gloved hand onto my face, and I can feel it...the touch of the half-smooth, half-jagged leather. I move my hand to my face, and I touch it...it's real...I can touch her hand. She smiles and words start to come out of her mouth, through her sweet voice, singing.
"Lately, I've been staring in the mirror…very slowly picking me apart." I back away, thinking that's this is just a dream, and I pinch myself, feeling the pain. I stare back at the figure of Terra and she's still there, and I walk over to her, knowing that there's no reason to figure out what is going on. "Saying I'm trying to tell myself that I have a reason…with your heart."
Terra smiles at me, and she holds my hand, I holding hers, a small smile comes across my face. I don't know what comes over me, but I continue where she leaves off.
"Girl, just the other night while you were sleeping…I vaguely heard you whisper someone's name." I hold my right hand to Terra's face, and I run it across her face, smooth and sleek, like I felt it on the date we had before she...no, that's not on my mind now. I won't let it ruin this moment. "But, when I asked you what are the thoughts you're keeping, you just said…'Nothing's changed'."
Our hands start to move into other positions, her hands across my neck, my right hand on her shoulder, my left hand where it should always have been...on her waistline. She places her head on my shoulder, and we dance like nothing weird is going on, dancing to the music, me providing the lyrics telling her what I've felt for 5 months.
"I'm a man of many wishes…hope my premonition misses. But what I really feel, my eyes won't let me hide." Terra closes her eyes and smiles, giving off a light chuckle as I continue to sing. "Cause they always start to cry…cause this time could mean goodbye, goodbye."
The song continues as we continue to dance like two high school kids at the prom, not caring if there is no one else there, the music endless. She lifts her head off of my shoulder and a bright smile comes across her face. Another smile comes to mine, and I say her name passionately. "Terra...I--I missed you."
"I've missed you, too, Beast Boy," Terra says. "I'm so glad that I can see you again."
I close my eyes and nod, knowing the terms of this deal. "I know, you're only here for a short time, considering you know how many movies I watch, so for right now...I don't want you to say anything, until you have to go." Terra nods, and lays her head back onto my shoulder, and I place mine into her hair, taking in the scent of vanilla and roses. Not bad for being trapped in stone for 5 months. It seems like almost an hour that we have been dancing, when the two of us lay down on the couch and I hold her in my arms, nothing else in the world mattering or even coming in or going out.
"I never meant to go off on you Terra. But why did you go to...him?" I ask, and the smile turns into a frown, and I've hit a nerve, two different ones tonight. I start to speak, but she answers, "I was mad, after Robin said that I needed control. I thought that you had told him, and I was just...angry with you. That's why. I forgot for a minute how perceptive Robin was, and my mind switched to anger mode."
I see a golden tear flow down her face, and I wipe the tear away. "Terra," I start, slowly turning her face towards mine, and look at her, "I could've never break your promise. I cared that much about you. Robin just figured it out, him being the detective that he is, and said it out loud."
I look at Terra, noticing how beautiful she looks in my arms, and she says, "I shouldn't have been so mad at you. I should have given you a chance to explain."
"It may be too late, but now we have to move on, and I swear...we'll find a cure. I want to get you into my arms." The two of us look at each other, the tears in our eyes falling. We hold each other closer, not wanting to let each other go, but knowing it would in anytime soon... 'But not now.' I pray. 'Please...just let her stay with me this one night.' The rain continues to fall, this time even more fiercely and a flash of thunder seems to answer my prayers. I smile as Terra and I stare out the window and look at the rain like it's a movie, and the music acting like a soundtrack. We lay there for a half-hour in silence, when Terra says my name. I look at her with one eye and answer, "Yes?"
"You know I might be leaving anytime soon...right?" she asks.
I look at her and say, "Yes, but I know that you're still with me. And I hope that you'll be visiting me a lot more in the future. And as long as you're gone…" I brush a strand of hair away from her face and say. "Remember, I'll cry for you. When I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I've won a million dollars, or I'm under torture, I don't give a damn what...I'll cry for you."
Terra smiles and we don't notice how close our faces are to each other, and at that moment, something I've waited for my whole life happens. I close the distance and our lips interlock, my hands holding her head as leverage, and we kiss, passionately like in the movies, but this is reality, and I've just kissed the girl that I've loved so damn much. After about three to five minutes, we separate, both of us breathing loudly, and we stare at each other, smiling, and continue to lay on the couch, Terra in my arms, and our love finally known to each other. The music lulls us to sleep, Terra first, allowing me to admire her beauty as she sleeps, and a few minutes later, I fall asleep, holding her in my arms as the music lulls us to sleep, the last image of her in my mind her sleeping in my arms, her golden glow warming me and my heart.
A few hours later, I awake on the couch, the rain still pouring, yet a light bright shining through the clouds. I look in my arms, Terra gone, and the clock says 6:43. I look at the window and she is still there, staring outside, and notices that I'm awake from my reflection in the window. She turns around and smiles, waving a hand at me, and I stand and walk towards her, smiling, and instead of going over to place my hands around her, I just wave stupidly, and she says, "I love you."
Then, she fazes through the windowpane and disappears, leaving me alone again, and I sit down back on the couch, a tear falling from my eye. Then, I notice a small silver glint catching my eye and pick it up from the floor. I study it for a minute, when I realize that it's Terra's hairclip, the same silver flower-comb that I placed on her statue in the cave those months ago. As I reminisce about the events from last night, my stomach growls and for the first time since yesterday, I'm hungry and go grab the pizza from the oven and heat a couple of slices in the microwave, when all of the sudden, the doors leading to the room swing open, and watch a sleepy Cyborg, Raven, Robin, and Starfire walk into the room. They look at me staring into the microwave and Starfire says, "Friend Beast Boy, you are not afflicted with the 'down in the dumps' anymore!" Everyone else stares at her as Cyborg says, "Hey, Beast Boy, hurry up and put that pizza into your mouth. We've gotta go."
I look at Cyborg, a smile creeping across my face. "Yeah, sure." The others leave as I stuff my pizza down my throat, and place the plate into the sink. I look back towards the windows and an image of Terra flashes with the lightning. I smile even wider, and say, "I love you too…Terra." Then I just run out of the room to catch up to the others, knowing that Terra is somehow standing right beside me.
It's been two months since that night I got to see Terra again, and I've been getting a little happier everyday, and pretty soon, I'm back to my normal self. The others have noticed the pep coming back into me, and we're back to our happy, yet still dysfunctional, family. But for the past two weeks, I've been getting the cold shoulder from them, except for when we're fighting. I guess that my prank with screwing up Cyborg's machinery and causing a virus still lingers in their minds. Right now, I'm sitting here in my room, done for another day of fighting evil, thinking about whether or not to ask them about it and I'm pretty much set on asking them. I stand up, dusting off my black and green suit, and walk out of my room, heading for the control room. As soon as I arrive, I find it empty again, and the lights turned off, the moon illuminating the room. I turn the lights on, and then…
"SURPRISE!"
I jump back, almost in horror, and stare at the others, all dressed with hats and blowing whistles, and I'm wondering what in the heck is going on. "Uhh, what's wrong with you guys? You can't go surprising people all willy-nilly!"
Everyone else, always excepting Raven, laughs as they look at me and Robin says, "I can't believe you forgot your own birthday, man!"
"My birthday?" I look at the calendar posted besides the fridge, and the date sure enough says June 4. I've been so busy getting back to normal that I've forgotten my birthday. I feel so foolish that I just laugh, and everyone stares at me like I'm crazy, me just laughing out loud.
"Oh, damn…I'm sorry guys," I say, wiping a tear from my eye. "I'm…I'm just tripping."
"Well," Robin starts, "We just figured you needed some cheering up. You've been some depressed these past few months, and we just thought that this could help you."
"Well…" I say, leaving a little cliffhanger, all of them getting ready to back up, "…What the hell are we waiting for? Let's party!"
Loud hip-hop music fills the air as everyone dances to the beat, Robin and Starfire dancing together, Cyborg bringing the Robot to life by extending his robotic parts out, Raven doing nothing but sipping punch, and me just acting a plain fool. After about an hour of dancing fast, the music cuts off, and I turn around, everyone except Raven holding out presents.
"Happy birthday, Beast Boy!" I wipe my face away to keep the tears from coming, but they break through anyway, and I take the gifts with extreme pleasure, tearing away at the paper madly to see what I receive. All in all, I get a GameStation 3 with a couple of games from Cyborg, a journal to write new jokes in from Robin, and a small purplish-blue liquid in a bottle from Starfire.
"Uh…thanks, Star…I'll be sure to use…whatever it is." I say with reluctance, sniffing it, and instead of a smell of garbage and weird stuff I never smelled before, a scent of sweet roses and berries fills my noses. "Hey…this is actually pretty good!" Unknowingly, I jump onto Starfire and give her a bear hug, and she tries to pry me off of her. She succeeds and I turn to look at everyone. "Umm…thanks guys…this has been a great birthday party." Then, I look at Raven and she looks at me, a small 'o' forming with her mouth, and I say, "Even you…Raven. I'm glad you're my friend after all I said…and even if you didn't get me a present."
"Actually…" Raven says, walking past me, "I do have a present for you." She open the doors and stands in the doorway, and all time seems to freeze as a certain figure walks into the doorway, dressed in tan short pants and a black tee with a golden T emblazoned in it…my eyes stay frozen in place as a long strand of clean, blonde hair flows behind her, and blue eyes stare at me with shock inside. I pinch myself on my arms to wonder if I am dreaming, and this is real, oh so damn real, and can only whisper words as blue eyes stare back at me like a mirror.
"T--Terra?" The words flow like chopping waves out of my mouth, staring at her like an old friend I haven't seen in years, and a tear starts to slide down my face. A tear falls down Terra's face as she wipes it away with a black glove, and she stifles a cry by holding it in her throat.
"Beast Boy." As soon as I know it, we're running towards each other and catch each other in a hug so tight, we don't want to let each other go. Terra's head is on my shoulders as I place a hand into her hair, and allow her to let the tears fall onto me, my tears falling onto her, the both of us quietly crying when we separate, and I say, "I'm a man of many wishes…hope my premonition misses…"
Terra smiles and says, "But what I really feel, my eyes won't let me hide…Cause they always try to cry…"
"Cause this time could mean goodbye…" I say quietly, the both of us smiling, and I look at Raven, looking at the ground beneath her. "Raven…" She lifts her head, and looks at me, a slight smile on her face. "Th---thank you." Her smile spreads even more and turns around back to the others, looking at us, then returns to the party. Terra starts to walk over to the table, but I hold her by the arm, and slowly lead her out to the hallway, as I lean back on the wall and I hold Terra in my arms, the both of us kissing and after a couple of minutes, we stop, Terra and I both blushing, and I ask, "Do…you remember…what happened…what happened when you came here that night?"
"I remember everything…I guess the man upstairs heard you praying to see me." Terra says, looking at me. "I'm gladhe did." We kiss again, briefly, and a tear comes down my face as I smile. Then, I silently whisper...
"Didn't I tell you that I'd always cry for you?"
Fin…
