Sadly, I still don't own Teen Titans...


Chapter Two: Is This The Real Life?

The danger was over and life had returned to normal at the crowded tower in the bay. Or at least it was crowded, Starfire told herself, when everyone was here. Starfire had woken up from a nap and come out of her room to find the tower deserted. The notes left on the fridge told her that everyone was out, having fun, and would be back relatively soon.

She replaced the last note on the fridge and opened the door. She would watch television and have herself a bottle of mustard. But there was no mustard in either the fridge, or in the pantry closet, or anywhere else in the tower. She sighed softly, looking for something else that she would enjoy. Finally she came upon a bottle with a clear liquid and a strange word on the label, she struggled to pronounce it.

"Vin…e…gar? Vinegar?" She opened the bottle and smelled it. It smelled wonderful! "Glorious! I have found a new beverage for which to enjoy with the watching of television. But I must remember to tell friend Robin to pick up more mustard for me."

And so on she rambled, taking her prize to the couch and turning on the television. Soon she was watching her favorite show on fungus and half the bottle of vinegar was gone. Starfire was feeling very happy and a little fuzzy, almost like her head was spinning.

She giggled. "Truly this vinegar is a wonderful beverage."

Robin was the first one home a short while later. He could hear Star giggling in the living room and went to see what was so funny.

"Hey Star, I'm back. I got you some mustard, I saw we were out of it." He looked around for her, but all he saw was a pair of purple boots over the back of the couch, eventually they disappeared with a thump and Starfire popped up, wobbling slightly and hiccupping.

"Oh, friend Robin, you have returned! Most glorious…but why are there three of you?" She was slurring her words, and then she screwed up her brows in concentration. "Friend Robin, I do not feel well."

Robin approached her quickly and looked at her, she was sweating slightly and her jade green eyes were glassy. She reeked of vinegar. He looked at her questioningly.

"Starfire, have you been drinking?"

"Only this glorious beverage called vinegar which I found in the closet." She pointed to the empty bottle and fell over, landing on the sofa and moaning before shooting up and flying towards the bathroom. "Oh no…"

Robin winced at the sounds that came next, walking slowly to the bathroom and kneeling behind her as he held her long, red hair back. The smell of vinegar was overpowering, but he stayed with her to the end. "Come on, girl, let's get you into bed."

He helped her rinse her mouth out and then lifted her up, carrying her to her room. He set her down on her bed and covered her with her pink comforter and went to the library to retrieve a book. Robin returned with something that he had picked up from his mentor, who had gotten it from the Green Lantern. It was the English translation of the Tameranean anatomy text, Greyfire's Anatomy.

Robin sat back down on the edge of Starfire's bed and opened the thick volume of text and diagrams. He looked through the index until he found what he was looking for, acetic acid. He flipped to the page and read:

"The Tameranean organism processes acetic acid in the upper eighteen inches of the small intestines. The major byproduct of the reaction is ethyl alcohol."

Robin looked at the reaction diagram underneath the text and sighed. Starfire was most definitely drunk.


Robin nudged Starfire awake, holding a glass of water for her. "Come on, Star, you've had a bit too much vinegar. You need to start drinking water now."

Starfire moaned and looked up at Robin with her bright green eyes. She was still very drunk and slurring her words. "What is vinegar, anyway?"

"Acetic acid. I think the Tameranean translation is morlax."

Starfire closed her eyes and started crying. "Oh, friend Robin, this is most awful. The drinking of so much morlax by one as young as myself is known as being snarfloxed. It is a sign of bad breeding. Girls like that are not courted by boys." She took his hand and held on tight, her teary eyes looking up at his masked ones. "Please do not dislike me."

Robin looked down at her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I couldn't dislike you if I tried."

Starfire closed her eyes again, murmuring softly as she drifted back to sleep. "That is good, friend Robin, for I wish you to love me one day."

Robin sat still for a moment, contemplating what he had just heard. Since he had met this girl he had known his feelings for her and hers for him. They had just never said anything about it. He lay back and put his arms around Starfire, in her sleep she nestled into his embrace. Robin could feel sleep pulling at him as well.

Things would be very different when they woke up.