A/N: I know that in the last chapter I mentioned that Dean Thomas' father was killed at Azkaban, and that he had been a guard. My sister pointed out to me after I had written half of this story that Dean Thomas is a muggleborn. She's right, I'm wrong. She's going to sing the 'I was right' song. But I'm leaving this the way it is with many apologies.
Disclaimer: Even if I can't get any monetary compensation, I appreciate JK Rowling lending me her characters for awhile. She can have them back in the same condition she left them in. I promise.
Chapter Seven -
A Sense of Accomplishment
Harry and Remus were having daily lessons in the mornings before Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna were awake. This way they wouldn't wonder where he was, and Remus could get on with quite a few of his other duties to the Order without the lessons getting in the way.
Harry was getting quite proficient at wandless and soundless magic. He still couldn't combine the two, but he had discovered that trying to force it to happen made him frustrated, and he would lose control, often blowing up an object or two. Most of the glass objects had been removed from the room for safety reasons. He thought the best way to do it was to just let the power come to him. Moony seemed to agree.
One of the best lessons Harry had was one where Remus had him look up memories of his parents in his brand new penseive. Harry had seen his first birthday party, just as he had wanted to since he'd received the present. His parents had been so loving and attentive, and Harry nearly wept with the relief that he now had some happy memories of his parents to carry around with him. It was a far cry from the darkness and depression he and everyone at headquarteres had sunk in to since Hestia's death. The wandless and soundless magic Harry was able to produce after that was astounding. Harry had been able to transform the desk into a chair and back again, all without the use of a wand, and his silent spell on the locked door made it both unlock and spring open with an enthusiastic bang.
They worked on other interesting defensive spells when they needed a break, and Harry had learned quite quickly how to do things like the disillusionment charm. He couldn't do it on himself, and he had a bit more trouble with reversing the enchantment. It was, however, kind of interesting to be having a conversation with a nearly invisible Remus.
When Harry was finally able to catch on to the counter charm, he noticed that Remus was looking a little peaky. His normally pale skin had turned slightly green, and his hands shook when he pulled out his wand to instruct. Harry wondered if he'd been like this the whole day, and Harry hadn't noticed, or if Harry had done something wrong with the disillusionment charm.
"Are you all right?" Harry asked worriedly. "You don't look so well."
"No, I'm all right. It's just getting close to the full moon, and I'm not quite as well... prepared for it as I usually am." He leaned against the side of the desk looking more than a little worn out.
Harry felt awful. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I haven't been paying attention to the lunar calendar over the summer. When is it? Is there something I can do?"
"It's in three days, and no, there's nothing you can do, unless you can brew the Wolfsbane potion."
"What?!" Harry's heart doubled a beat. "You mean you're not getting it from Snape anymore?"
Lupin took a deep breath. "I haven't been getting the wolfsbane potion for the last two years, Harry. Snape was only brewing it for me while I was teaching at Hogwarts because it could have been dangerous to the students if I didn't take it. As soon as I stopped teaching, he stopped making it for me."
"That vile, disgusting... horrible man!" Harry exclaimed emphatically. "You need that potion!"
Remus looked at Harry sadly. "I do not need it. If I did, then I would be getting it for free somewhere else."
"Is that what the problem is? Paying for it? Because I-"
"I will NOT take charity." Remus interrupted cynically.
"Then I'll pay you for tutoring me. Isn't that normally what happens when someone has a job? I'll pay you, and you can get it-"
"I don't see this as a job Harry. I see this as a privilege."
"I don't care. You're still taking time out of your schedule to help me, and you need that potion! I don't care if you say that you don't need it. I say you don't look good right now, and being ill your whole life is not something I want to watch happen to you!"
Remus flopped down in the chair beside the desk, looking dejected. He just sat in silence and thought for a long moment.
"It's expensive." He said finally.
"I don't care." Harry retorted. "I don't like having money that I've only got because other people have died, and I'd like to share it with you."
Moony took a deep breath. "Thank you." He said quietly, and there was silence through the room for a long moment. "You know I'm only really ill now because I don't have a pack." Remus whispered, sounding as if he regretted admitting this.
Harry wrinkled his brow in confusion. "A pack?"
"Every wolf has a pack, Harry. A group of animal friends that he can depend on to run with. When a normal wolf gets separated from his pack, he sometimes gets so... so lonely... that he dies."
"Is that what's happening!? You... You're not...?" Harry suddenly felt a fear the likes of which he had never thought of before. He felt a lot like Molly Weasley when she had seen her Boggart. The horrific vision of Remus Lupin on the floor of the study with eyes wide and glassy and with a trickle of blood running from his open mouth flashed before Harry, and he began to panic.
"No, not exactly..." Remus' answer did nothing to allay Harry's fear. "I can't say that it's pleasant, not having a pack, but unlike a normal wolf, I can survive without one. I've done it before."
"Better if you have the Wolfsbane potion." Harry finished. "What did you do before? When... Sirius was in Azkaban?"
Remus sighed. "I was without a pack there for a good twelve years. I guess I just got used to it after awhile. I only had access to the Wolfsbane potion for the last year before he was back, then last year Sirius was there to help. He ran with me every full moon, even against professor Dumbledore's orders. It's just... it's hard to get used to being alone again."
"What would happen if you were to have a pack again?"
Remus shook his head. "I refuse to teach you to become an animagus, Harry. It doesn't matter what you say."
Harry understood. He decided to change the subject. Maybe it would get Remus' mind out of the bleak chasm where it had fallen. "Right, Didn't you say something earlier about levitation charms?"
Remus' eyes lit up even though his body was still looking weak and broken. He was grateful for the new topic. "Yes, there is a way to perform the Wingardium Leviosa spell on oneself! I have to warn you that I've personally never done it, as it requires quite a bit more energy than I am usually prepared to let out. I think a young powerful wizard such as yourself may just be able to do it."
Harry smiled. It made him feel all warm inside that Moony was willing to teach him things he hadn't even done for himself. He was glad that Moony was such a good tutor. Anyone else wouldn't have bothered. In fact he often acted more like a coach than a tutor. He was excited simply at the prospect of giving Harry something to work for.
Harry even had to wonder if he wasn't getting a sort of vicarious thrill out of these sessions, since he so often complimented Harry on his strength of will.
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Remus had taken Harry's offer in spirit when he had mentioned it during their tutoring session, but it was a whole other issue for him to get him to actually take the pouch of galleons when Harry offered it to him.
It was the day of the full moon, and Harry had just returned from Diagon Alley with the Weasley's and Hermione. Harry pulled a very sick-looking Remus aside, and quietly handed him a pouch full of gold galleons.
"Harry I can't take this." He said, and handed it back immediately.
Harry stuffed the pouch of money back into Remus' hand, and nearly growled at him. "We've already discussed this. You're taking it, and that's all I'm going to say."
"But..."
"No buts!" Harry said emphatically. "I'll drag you to the Apothecary myself if I have to."
Remus looked at his feet embarassed. "All right, I'll take it now, but I won't accept any more."
"Why not?" Harry asked.
"Because once you go off to Hogwarts, I won't be your tutor any more. I won't have you paying me for something I haven't done."
Harry thought for a moment. "I'll pay you until I leave then." Harry said reluctantly.
Remus nodded.
Little did Remus know that Harry would be paying him quite a lot more than he'd expected. Harry was grateful that Remus hadn't bothered to haggle out a payment plan earlier. Even the pouch he'd just taken was filled with much more than the basic minimum wizarding wage.
"Did you get your school things today then?" Remus asked, trying to change the subject. He uncomfortably slipped the pouch of money into a tattered pocket.
Harry smiled, and rolled his eyes. "Yeah we did. No attacks on us or anything!" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Harry," Remus said warningly. "You know that professor Dumbledore is just worried about his students."
"Yeah, but did he have to send us to Diagon Alley with seven Order members? I mean, Doesn't that sort-of defeat the purpose of having an Order to begin with if everyone in Diagon Alley can tell who they are, and who they're protecting? Are we not trying to pretend that we're spies here?"
Remus laughed. "Not spies, Harry. Just trying to do the right thing, and be as quiet as possible about it."
"Right. Get yourself off to the Apothecary as soon as possible." Harry said in a whisper. "Maybe you can stay here tonight."
"We do have a meeting scheduled for late this afternoon, and I would like to be there. I'll go immediately, and see you this afternoon... Thank you Harry."
"You're welcome."
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The Order's meeting that afternoon consisted of Snape's report on how Voldemort seemed to be surviving now that he had a larger fighting force behind him. Snape was bluntly honest about the fact that Harry was the top of his list for murder, and would not hesitate the next time to immediately kill him.
Voldemort seemed to be taking Harry's stubbornness personally. He would not allow any of his minions to kill the boy. He wanted to do it himself. Harry saw this as a bit of a relief. Even though he knew he still had to watch out for kidnap attempts, it meant he would be given time to escape or send for help.
In the meantime, Voldemort had to prove his strength to his Death-Eaters, so he was intermittently torturing muggles and muggleborns. Sometimes he would even turn his wand upon a Death-Eater who had displeased him. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Voldemort was a very powerful wizard, even if he seemed to be having trouble duelling against a teenager.
All in all, Harry felt more anger and frustration regarding his situation than he had felt in a long time at this meeting.
What made Harry the most angry, was the expression on Severus Snape's face. He would look over at Remus every once in awhile as if to make sure that the still quite sick-looking man had not yet changed into a werewolf, then his gaze would shift to Harry, and the eyes would fill with loathing.
Why was Snape doing this for the Order if he seemed to hate all of them? It couldn't be that he respected muggleborns, since any self-respecting Slytherin would usually rather call them mudbloods. Snape, being the head of Slytherin house should have been the worst of all about that. Harry remembered hearing Snape as a young fifth year when he had snuck a look in his pensieve. He had called Harry's own mother a mudblood. Had things changed at all? What was it about this dark and sinister man that made Dumbledore trust him so much?
The only reason Harry could think of for Snape to act as the Order's spy and for Dumbledore to believe in him, was that he truly thought their side would win, and that he would be awarded some sort of commendation once the war ended. If that was the case, couldn't Snape just as easily be working as Voldemort's spy in the order? Couldn't he be working both sides until he knew which would be the eventual victor?
It didn't make any sense to Harry. All he could do was hope that Dumbledore knew what he was doing by having Snape there.
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"Are you ready to hear about Warding?"
It was the last tutoring session of the summer, and Harry was working like mad to absorb as much information as he could.
"All right, What sort of warding?" Harry asked Remus.
"Well, there are typically three different types. Emotional Wards are the ones that protect the people from unwanted hassle. They keep out unwanted owls and such. If you connect this ward to a bead," Remus held up a small chain of coloured beads, "They can tell you by their temperature if anyone in the ward is upset or fearful. They are the weakest sort of wards and they can be broken very easily. They are used quite often, as they can be cast around either a person or a place. The personal one allows for the warded to walk about, while the ward follows along always encircling them. The emotional area ward is less reliable, since all a person has to do is just walk outside the boundary of the ward, and the ward-caster won't have a clue what's happening to them.
"It's more difficult to crack an emotional ward if you add a protective ward to the space they most often inhabit. This one, when connected to a ward bead, will tell you the physical state of any dweller. Warm beads are an indication that someone is in physical pain, although the ward itself may speed up many healing processes, and denies certain dangerous hexes from being cast. This is the second most difficult ward to produce, and also to remove. Again this ward can only be placed on an area, so a person just has to walk away from the ward to be vulnerable. With me so far?"
Harry nodded dubiously.
"The last and most complex type of ward is the Apparition Ward. There are two different forms of these. The one where people may disapparate from the warded area to somewhere else, but may not apparate back within the wards, and the most difficult of all, one where all forms of apparition and disapparition are made null."
Harry nodded again thoughtfully. "And the first type is what most people put on their houses."
"That's right, The Burrow has the first, and of course, Grimmauld Place has the second version."
"And this one's the most difficult? Why?"
"Both types of apparition wards require a code. The spell is cast, then a series of three or four words –depending on which version you use- are integrated into the spell. When you remove the wards, it must all be done in reverse. This way, only the caster or those present during the casting may remove the wards. The three incantations are 'emotiward', 'protegiward', and 'appariward'
Remus demonstrated by casting a flash of pale blue around the desk area, then once it had faded completely, he waved his wand again, removing it.
Harry practiced, and two hours later he could do all three types perfectly.
They worked on tying the wards to ward beads. Harry found that it wasn't all that different from the Protean charm Hermione had showed him the year before. Harry explained to Remus that he might want to make his own ward beads for his friends. He conjured six coloured beads and a leather string to loop them through.
Although he couldn't just go and cast an emotional ward on anyone, he did cast one on Remus with his permission and linked it to the small blue bead.
"I probably won't see you before you go off to Hogwarts. I'm doing a favour for Professor Dumbledore." Remus explained, after checking and approving the results of Harry's ward.
"All right then, take this."
Harry was able to stuff a bulging pouch of gold Galleons into Remus' hands, and they clasped their arms around each other. They said their goodbyes, and promised that they would at the very least, see each other around Christmas.
As Harry left the study, he lightly fingered the links in his pocket, and felt that one was slightly warmer than the others.
He smiled. He would miss Remus too.
