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Chapter 5—Lily, I'm In Your Heart

"Miss Evans, what is this?" The Potions professor snapped. Lily flinched as her potion turned pink, rather than green. Her mind was not on her work, so unlike her.

"I, uh, added the wrong ingredient, Professor, sorry." Lily tried.

"Look like a zero." The Professor said and got rid of her potion. Lily sighed, frustrated, and sat down, crossing her arms.

"Aw, calm down Lily, it's only one." James said.

"It's my third one this year." Lily snapped.

"Why?" Sirius asked. Lily rolled her eyes and then glared at him. Sirius realized his mistake.

"What is it with her?" Sirius muttered quietly, but not quietly enough.

"Sirius Black, you-are-impossible!" She said loudly and stomped her foot, tears threatening to fall for no reason.

"Lily--." James started.

"Shut up! You don't know how hard it is! I lost the person closest to me! No one knows how I feel! They may say they do, but they don't! I hate it all and I want out!" Lily screamed and the dungeon was silent.

"What do you mean you want out?" Sirius asked.

"You are so stupid! I mean, I don't want any of this! It sucks! And you just make it worse!" She yelled and shoved him hard on the chest, making him stumble. He realized Lily was a lot stronger than she had showed. The Marauders backed up. They knew Lily was mad but she was throwing a temper tantrum. She screamed shortly and ran out of the room, steaming mad. Everyone's eyes were wide and the Slytherins were smirking.

"Well, she's grumpy." Sirius said and Shelley rolled her eyes.

"Well, would you rather have her crying all the time?" Shelley asked him, rudely.

"No but she's got a bad temper."

"You don't know what she's going through!"

"Shell, have you ever seen my family! I don't have a real one!" Sirius yelled, making Shelley shut up. She knew he wasn't totally mad if he used her nick name. Shelley turned back to her potion and ignored him the rest of the class.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Lily was running laps around the Quidditch pitch. She loved running, it made her forget everything. She stared at the ground until she ran into someone and fell on the ground. She could tell it was a guy because he was firm, that's what made her fall. Lily groaned, she had been running into people a lot.

"Lily?" She heard Danny's voice. He lifted her up easily.

"Danny? Didn't you graduate?" Lily knew Danny was a year older than her. Danny laughed.

"Yeah, but I'm looking for good seventh year Quidditch players."

"You're a scout?" Lily asked. Danny nodded.

"So, what got you so riled up? You were running, which you only so when you're mad, and you should be in class." Danny asked her.

"James and Sirius." She replied simply.

"Again?" Lily nodded.

"Don't listen to them, Lily." Danny stroked her cheek, sending shivers down her spine. "I miss you." He said.

"I miss you too." Lily looked down. "Why'd you break up with me?"

"I don't really know. I guess it's because I left school and I was afraid I would lose you to some other guy." Lily didn't respond.

"Do you want to try again?" Danny asked her. She looked up at him.

"Go out with you?" Lily replied.

"Yeah." Lily thought she could use someone that loved her at this point. She smiled, but it wasn't real.

"Sure." Danny leaned down and kissed her deeply.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Once the bell rang, James and Sirius set off to apologize to Lily. They went outside after she wasn't in the common room. In the distance, by the Quidditch pitch, they saw two people kissing, one about seven inches taller. As they got closer they saw pretty red hair.

"Lily?" James cried. She broke away from the guy, who looked older than her.

"James. Sirius." She said coldly.

"Who is this?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I'm Danny. I went here, graduated last year. I'm scouting Quidditch players this month." Danny told them.

"Danny and I went out for six months last year." Lily told them. James scowled.

"Anyway, we just wanted to say sorry, Lily. We were rude." Sirius said getting to the point.

"Is this Sirius Black? It doesn't sound like him." Lily asked. Sirius smiled oddly.

"It's fine. Trust me, I don't need any more problems in my life. I'll see you later, Danny." Lily gave him a kiss on the lips and walked inside the castle. She plopped onto her bed and went into her trunk to get her diary. She flipped open to a page and a letter fell out. It was addressed to her. She recognized the writing and her heart skipped a beat. It was from Jacob. Trembling, she opened it up and unfolded the letter.

Lily! My dear sister!

I'm writing this, right before we spend the day together…you're actually putting on all your make up right now, even though you're pretty enough to not need it! Today will be awesome…I just know it! Anyway, I'm hiding this in your diary, as a surprise for when you find it since I won't have a lot of time to write at Auror training, which I'm incredibly excited about. I hope your seventh year is great, mine was. It was the best year and I just know you'll be Head Girl. And you'll be perfect at it too. I hope to see you at some point during the year and Matt does too. He always wanted a little sister, and you were like one to him, but of course, you're mine! I hope you find 'the one' this year Lily and he treats you right. Make sure of that or tell me and I'll fix it! I better go, you might be done getting ready soon, and I don't want you to see me hide this. Tell Shelley I said hi! I love you and remember, Lily, I'm always in your heart even if I'm not right next to you. Wish me luck at training!

From the best big brother,

Jacob

A tear dripped down Lily's cheek. She half wished she never found the letter, as it made her miss her brother even more. She wiped the tear away, kissed the letter and placed it on her dresser. She kept crying, tears soaking her face. She held the necklace tightly in her hand and cried for what seemed like forever. There was a knock on the door and Shelley came in.

"Lily? What's wrong?" Lily pointed to the letter. "Can I read it?" Shelley asked and Lily nodded. Shelley picked it up and read it, her face full of sadness. She finished and walked over to Lily, giving her a hug. Surprisingly, Lily sobbed out loud, and loudly.

"I miss him, Shell, I miss him so much." She said through sobs. She hadn't cried like this since she was a toddler, throwing a tantrum.

"I know, Lily, I'm so sorry." Shelley rubbed Lily's back and let her cry. This was a lot harder on Lily than she thought.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The Marauders were in the common room and heard Lily sob loudly. James let out a deep breath.

"Shall we?" He asked.

"We shall." Remus and Sirius replied. They opened the door and saw Lily, sobbing like mad and her face dripping with tears. She was crying terribly, like a little kid. Shelley was trying to comfort her but it seemed it wasn't working. Remus and Sirius frowned sympathetically. This was a rough day for Lily. They walked out and Shelley did too, leaving James and Lily alone. Lily was crying really hard still.

"Hey, stop." James said softly. "I hate when you cry, especially like this." Lily slowed down the crying but felt horrible. James conjured up some tea and gave it to her. It seemed to calm her a little.

"What started this, Lil?" James asked her.

"I-I found a letter J-Jacob hid in my journal and it just affected me strongly. I want to f-forget all this, James, I want it over." Lily stuttered. James gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I understand, Lily. I want to help you get over it all."

"But it's not fair! It's just not fair! Why did he die and not me? I was sitting right next to him in the car! I was also hurt but I wasn't killed! It's not fair!" Lily sobbed. James just let her cry everything out.

"I know Lil, but everything happens for a reason." James tried.

"But why this? It's just not fair!" She cried out. James gave her a tight hug and held her for a while. She stopped crying and soon James heard her breathing heavily. He looked at her… she was asleep. He laughed quietly and shook his head and gently laid her down, placing blankets on her.

"She fell asleep." James grinned as he walked down the stairs. Everyone else laughed slightly and left to go down to dinner.

Authors note—hope it was a good chapter! Please, please, please review!