CHAPTER 3
"Why won't you tell me?"
"Why does it matter?"
"It just does."
Hawkeye was lying in the hammock, one arm under his head and the other holding the blonde that was next to him. They had just gotten back from the beach and were lounging around outside. Her head lay on his shoulder and she had one bare leg draped over him as if she were trying to keep him from moving. He didn't seem like he wanted to, not with the smile he had on his face.
"Please, Hawkeye, why won't you tell me?" She was running her fingernails up and down his chest trying to coax him into telling her.
"You don't need to know. It's silly." He was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Well tell me something else then."
"Okay. What do you want to know?" He smiled looking up at the blue sky. He felt very contented lying there with her like that. Everything that mattered was lying right next to him.
"Well," she began, her hand rubbing his chest nonchalantly. "How often do you have to shave your chest? I remember you had a little hair here." She made a point to rub his chest at the top.
He chuckled to himself. "I wax it, and not very often."
"Oh. Does it hurt?"
"No."
"I would think it would."
"Well it doesn't. Now let me ask you something."
"Okay." She turned her head so that she was looking up at him and resting the back of her head on his bicep. "What do you want to know?"
He thought about that for a moment. "How often do you have to color your hair?"
She grinned. "It's natural."
He rolled his eyes. "I know its not."
"My turn. Why won't you answer my other question?"
"It's useless."
"And knowing how often I color my hair isn't?"
She had him there. "It's just a silly question." She had come up with it out of the middle of nowhere and it was getting to her that he wouldn't answer it. He could see that he drove her crazy enough and it was almost time to give in. "I don't even know why you want to know. Are you planning on buying me a pair of shoes?"
"Maybe. How tall are you?" She would try to get him to tell her in a round about way.
"Six two."
"Are your feet as big as BJ's?"
"No way!"
"And they're bigger then mine."
"Not by much." He grinned.
Margaret moved her leg off of him and looked down at their feet intertwined at the end of the hammock. "They are so!"
"Look." He wigged his toes. "Mine aren't too much bigger."
"They're a lot bigger than mine are. I do not have big feet!" She rested her head back against him. "What size?"
"Eleven and a half. Are you satisfied?"
"Wow. You do have small feet for a man you're size. I should have known. You know what they say. You can tell how well a man is endowed by the size of his feet."
"What! I didn't hear any complaints from you earlier."
"I'm not one to complain." She loved getting a rise out of him.
"The hell you aren't." He picked his head up and looked at her face. She was grinning ear to ear with her eyes dancing. "Why you..." He skillfully moved so that she was now on the bottom and he was over top of her straddling her, all without tipping the hammock over. Hawkeye held her hands above her head. "You better take that back."
"Nope." She shook her head. What could he do to her? Kiss her.
"You'll regret it if you don't."
"Nope."
"I'll give you one last chance," he warned. She continued to shake her head no. He didn't say anything else, but his hands went strait to her ribs and he started to tickle her like a wild man. "I told you." Margaret started to laugh hysterically and thrash around underneath him. She couldn't catch her breath she was laughing so hard. "I warned you," he grinned. "You didn't want to listen to me."
"Ahh." She screamed. "Hawk….oh…ah….ha. Please." She got finally got out.
He stopped for a moment and held her hands above her head once again. "Say it."
"No." Hawkeye started to tickle her immediately. She started to laugh which only suited to egg him on some more. The sound of her laughter was intoxicating to him. "Ha…"
"Say it."
"I….have to…pee."
"That's not what I wanted to hear." He stopped and held her there so she couldn't get away. "Say it."
"Please," she smiled lovingly up at him. "I don't want to pee my pants."
"You're not wearing pants."
She gave him a look. "I have to go bad. If you don't let me go…"
"Okay, okay." He leaned down and gently gave her a kiss. His eyes held hers for a moment and he saw something he didn't expect to see. It wasn't something that he could explain, but for the first time it looked like she had just let go. Something changed in her at that moment. Her eyes went soft and her face became flushed.
Margaret felt something inside her crash at that moment. Looking into those eyes so full of emotion was very powerful. They had been together for two days and they were two of the happiest days of her life. She felt she could trust this man with her heart. "I love you," she breathed softly.
Did she just say what he thought she said? Those words couldn't possibly have come out of her mouth. It was so soft that he could have been hearing things. Hawkeye just stared down at her without saying a word.
Why wasn't he saying anything? She had been so sure that he felt the same way about her, but now she knew he didn't. Now she was stuck there pinned underneath him. She was regretting ever saying it. "Excuse me." She removed her arms from his grasp and maneuvered herself to get up. She started to run for the stairs to get up to the house.
Hawkeye stood to his feet and sprinted after her when he realized what had happened. "Wait." She was on the second stair when he placed his hand over her right hand as she was walking up holding the railing. She turned and looked at him making sure to remove her hand forcefully from his touch. "I love you Margaret."
Now she didn't know if she could believe him. She knew that he wouldn't want to hurt her whether he loved her or not. He was just that way. "You don't have to say that." She turned and walked away.
Hawkeye did not want to see her walk away and most of all he didn't want to see her hurt. He loved that woman with all his heart. His hands reached out and grabbed her by the hips preventing her from getting any further then the fourth step. "I love you. I mean that with all my heart."
Margaret turned around and looked at him. For the first time she was looking only at his face and not his body. She knew when he was lying and he wasn't. "You do?"
He nodded and walked up the steps closing the gap between them. "Very much." His arms went around her and they kissed, losing themselves in each other. He pressed her warm body against his and didn't pull away until he felt her lips move into a smile against his own. "What?"
She smiled brightly. "For a moment there I wasn't sure about that."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, well…" He walked backwards off the steps and pulled her along. He didn't know how to explain it to her. Time had stopped for him when he said that and it continued to go on for her.
"Will you say it to me again?"
Hawkeye smiled brightly and picked her up off of the steps forcing her to wrap her legs around his waist. "I love you. I love you more then anything in this world. More then the lungs that let me breath."
"I love you too." She whispered against his lips before kissing him. Hawkeye wanted to bring her back to the hammock where they could lay down and cuddle and just be together. But when he did that she stopped him. "Wait."
"Something wrong?"
She was almost embarrassed to say it. She knew she wouldn't be able to hold it in if she was laying on the hammock pressed to him. That would have been too much pressure on her bladder and she didn't think that it would be very romantic if she peed all over the two of them. "I have to go to the bathroom."
A large smile spread across his face and he placed her back on her feet. "I forgot." He started to laugh.
"It's not funny." She took off running for the house. In the background he was still laughing. Seeing her run up the stairs was too much for him. He needed to sit back down and chose the hammock since it was the only place other then the grass. It was too nice of a day to go in the house.
Hawkeye relaxed on the hammock and looked up at the clear blue sky. His mood matched the nice day perfectly. She had told him that she loved him. His hands were behind his head and his eyes were closed. He hadn't heard he come back down the stairs, but rather smelt her perfume when the wind blew. He turned and opened his eyes smiling at her. "You feel better?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes." He looked so good there like that. His shirt was off and his body was glistening in the sun. "Mind if I join you?"
"I'd be upset if you didn't." His hands grabbed her hips and he helped her get on the hammock without tipping it over. He liked where she decided to get comfortable; on top of him. "This is cozy." He looked into her eyes.
"Mmm," she mumbled as her lips closed in on his. She felt his hands run up her back and his fingers thread through her hair as they kissed. He was so good at everything. Just being with him made her feel like she was walking on a cloud.
Hawkeye pulled her head back slightly and looked at her. He didn't say anything though and went back to kissing her. He could stay like that forever, although at the moment he was hoping things would go a little further. With Margaret he never had any doubt. In the two days they had been together as a couple she had never once refused him and had even initiated sex with him.
Sleeping had always been one of his favorite things to do. It passed the time and hopefully blacked out the bad thoughts and let the peace flow through him. When he was alone that sleep was interrupted with thoughts of her and dreams of her. Now that she was right there with him and he was living his dream, he still couldn't sleep. The thought of waking up and finding her gone was absolutely dreadful. When they did go to sleep at night he made sure that she was in his arms holding on tight to her. Napping was completely out of the question for him unless he could get her to do it with him, but she slept so well at night that she couldn't fall asleep during the day.
So, here he was again running on four to five hours of sleep a night. After two good nights of sleep he was back to being restless again. Margaret had eliminated the tossing and turning by being there to hold, but she hadn't stopped his thoughts from taking control when he wanted to be resting.
Hawkeye's thoughts were interrupted by her calling his name. When he broke out of them he looked at her questioningly. "Huh?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." He jumped down from the kitchen counter and took the laundry basket from her. "Where am I going with this?"
"Outside. Once I hang these I was thinking we could go out to lunch. My treat this time."
He smiled. "I don't think a woman has ever bought me lunch before."
"First time for everything." She opened the backdoor for him.
"Yep. Where are you taking me for lunch?"
"Wherever you want to go is fine by me." Margaret followed him down the stairs and led him over to where the clothes line was. "You can put that down right here. Thank you."
Hawkeye started to pull out the clean laundry and helped her hang it up. She stood back for a moment watching him. Unless they left the house he always kept his shirt off. It was hard to keep her hands off of him and sometimes she couldn't do it. Earlier that morning she had woken up to the sounds of the water beating down. She couldn't help it and jumped out of bed and snuck into the shower with him. Needless to say they ran out of hot water before they were finished showering. Her back was a little sore from being pounded against the shower wall, but it was worth it. He tried to be gentle, but she had told him not to and he listened well.
"You gonna help me, or what?"
She smiled slightly and folded her arms across her chest. "You seem to be doing fine." He had most of the linens on the line already.
He tossed a damp towel to her. "Make yourself useful."
She quickly grabbed the towel before it fell to the ground. "Are you saying you have no use for me?"
"Not at all. You'll come in very handy when these sheets dry. I've never figured out how to fold them alone."
"I'd hate to see your linen closet."
"Remember the Swamp?"
"I try not to."
"Well aren't you the funny one today?" He draped the last sheet over the line. "You better be careful insulting me."
"Why? What can you do to me?" She challenged him.
"For starters I can lock the bathroom door when I shower."
"Fine." She didn't miss a beat. "I'll just attack you when you get out. Besides, you didn't seem to mind when I snuck in this morning. You were quite happy to see me from what I recall." She hung the last towel and moved so he couldn't reach her. "Well… a little happy."
Hawkeye's jaw dropped for a moment and then he started to move through the sheets to find her. "I can't believe you just said that."
"What?"
He heard her voice and it was farther away from him than he expected. She was slowly making her way to the stairs. "You know what."
"I do not."
Hawkeye saw her legs and knew exactly where she was. He stepped out into plain view and looked challengingly at her. "You're in trouble now."
Her eyes widened when he broke into a dead run. "Hawkeye, no!" She yelled. He was getting closer and he was bending down slightly looking like he was going to tackle her to the ground as though she were a football player. "PIERCE!"
Hawkeye grabbed her and put her on his shoulder. "Did I scare you?"
"Yes!" She hit his back. "Put me down."
"No." He slapped her behind playfully and carried her up the stairs.
"You're all sweaty. You're getting my shirt covered in your sweat."
"So you'll just have to change. You can wear something nicer."
"You have a problem with what I'm wearing?"
"Nope." He placed her down on the deck when he got up there. "You look good in anything and nothing." He wiggled his eyebrows.
She fixed her shirt as she walked into the house. "You need to change."
He smiled. She was telling him what to wear already. He wouldn't like her nagging about it, but he loved that she cared enough to tell him. "Where are we going?"
"I don't know. You must have a nice collared polo shirt. Something you would golf in. I see that you brought your clubs with you on your travels."
"I needed something to do. I've been alone for months, it was my only companion."
"Would you like to be alone with them?"
"Ha, ha." He rolled his eyes. "You're really a pain in my ass today." Hawkeye walked over to the dresser where Margaret had placed his clothes. "Which drawer?"
"Closet." She took her shirt off and then her shorts. She had to get into the closet to find something to wear so she grabbed a shirt for him. "Wear this." She tossed him a nice red shirt. "You look good in color."
"So you don't like seeing me without a shirt?"
"I didn't say that. I think you look a lot better without a shirt."
Hawkeye put the shirt on and looked in the mirror to fix the collar. "I'm ready." He turned and looked at her standing there in her panties and bra.
She looked back at him. "Your hair."
He ran a hand through it. "Done. You need help?"
"I just don't know what to wear." Hawkeye walked over to her and looked in her closet. So far everything he had seen her in looked wonderful. "Should I wear a dress?"
Hawkeye pulled out a white summer dress. "What about this?" It looked good to him. The skirt looked to fall right below the knee and the top of the dress was strapless. Perfect for a nice summer day.
"Yeah, I guess. I haven't had a chance to wear it yet. I can't wear this bra with it though. I think it has a built in one anyway." She looked at the dress. "Yeah, this will work."
"Good." Hawkeye laid it across the bed and then went to the bathroom to freshen up. He was starving and couldn't wait to go eat. It didn't even matter to him where they went or what they did as long as they were together and there was food around.
The two of them had their fill of food and then walked around a little looking in the shops that were in town. Neither bought anything, they just held hands and laughed together for two hours. It was a perfect afternoon, just as every afternoon together had been so far. When they got back to the house Margaret went back to the laundry despite Hawkeye's encouragement not to.
"I'll carry this down and help you fold the sheets, but you have to hang these." He held up the basket.
"Deal." She gave him a kiss. "Get moving, sexy."
"I feel like a house boy."
Margaret pushed him through the house and out the door. They went back down to the yard and started to fold the sheets and towels. They just talked about silly things and laughed together. "Can you bring these back up to the house?"
"No." He sat them on the hammock and lay on a blanket that he had placed out there earlier that morning. "They can wait."
"Why don't you help me then?"
"I like it better down here." He laid on his back leaning on his elbows and watched her. When she moved in just the right way he could see up her dress. There was no way he was going to move now. Since she had her back to him she didn't know what he was doing so she couldn't yell at him.
"Suit yourself. This could help build muscle in your upper arms and shoulders."
"No thanks, Tom Sawyer."
"I'll have to do it alone then."
"Yep."
Margaret shook her head and then went about hanging the clothes. It had been a long time since she had done a man's laundry and it didn't feel half bad. Her clothes didn't look so lonely out there on the line.
Hawkeye laid there staring at her. His eyes never moved from her for one moment. He had never had such a large grin on his face. Looking up her dress was getting him going fast. She was standing there innocently in her white dress hanging up one of his shirts; she had no clue what he was up to. His eyes were glue to her thighs; he had a pretty good view of them at the moment.
"What should we do tomorrow?" She asked as she pinned up some clothes.
"Nothing." They didn't have many days left together and all he wanted was to be with her and only her.
"Well what can we do then?"
"Just be together." His hands touched her feet when she stepped back a little. She had to stand over him; her feet on either side of his torso. "You have cute feet."
She smiled. "I've never heard that before. Just two days ago you told me they were big."
"I was just picking on you." His hands moved up her feet and to her ankles. "These aren't so bad either."
"My ankles?" She didn't look at him, she kept busy hanging things. "That's a strange thing to say."
"I don't think so." He was on his back holding onto her ankles caressing them with his thumbs as his eyes looked up her dress. She still hadn't looked down at him. "Very soft skin. What do you do?"
"What do you mean?"
He really wasn't paying attention to her ankles as much as he was looking at her inner thighs. "You shave often?"
"My ankles? No."
He almost gave himself away at that moment. "You must us lotion on your skin."
"I take care of it. Why the bizarre questions?"
"I just want to know."
"Yes, I put lotion on my legs every night. Are you satisfied?"
"Not yet," he mumbled. He sighed when she moved away from him and he was forced to let go of her legs. "You almost done?"
"I just got started. I would finish sooner if you would help."
"Point taken." But he still wasn't moving anywhere. "Your feet are pretty cute. You have to admit."
"Do you have a foot fetish you've been hiding?"
"No." He waited for her to step back over him and then ran his hands up and down her calves. "Do you work out normally?"
"I try to take care of myself."
"You have strong legs."
"Yeah." She wasn't paying much attention to him. She was concentrating on the task at hand.
His hands were caressing and moving over the contours of her lower legs, but he was slowly working his way up so she wouldn't notice. He could be very sly when he wanted to be. "What kind of things do you do?"
"What do you mean?"
"To stay fit."
"I like yoga the best."
"It shows." He grinned widely when she stepped back a little. His head was practically between her legs. She had panties on, but he could work with that. He could get them off of her easy enough. She hadn't fought him as of yet and he didn't see that happening any time soon.
"That tickles," she giggled. He was swirling his finger on the back of her knee.
He smiled and did it a little more before moving upward. "I haven't seen you do any exercising since I've been here."
"You've been keeping me busy." She smiled to herself. "We work out enough together."
"Not too much?"
"No."
Hawkeye's hands started to move up her thighs and he started to stroke the soft skin. "We should have gotten some groceries while we were out. We don't have much food left."
"You're right. That gives us something to do tomorrow."
"I hate grocery shopping."
"Then I'll go."
"No, I'll go with you."
"But you just said…."
"I know what I said." His hands reached the line of her panties. "I want to be with you, not alone."
Margaret suddenly realized what he was doing and stepped forward causing his hands to fall. "You're very brave."
He just grinned and grasped her ankles again. "You're really sexy, baby. Looking up that dress…" Just then she stepped back as she hung some more clothing. His hands traveled up her legs and started to tug on her panties.
"Hawkeye, you're…"
"I'm what?" He got them over her hips and started to slide them down.
"You shouldn't do that." She didn't fight him at all and let him do what he wished.
"I should." Soon they were around her ankles and she stepped out of them. "You'll feel better."
She moved away from him again and went to another area to hang the clothes. Now she knew what he had been up to the whole time. He was in the perfect area to look up her dress and now it was her turn to tease him. He could still see up her dress, but now there wasn't anything obstructing his view. She could torture him now.
"What are your plans for the day?"
"Nothing." He mumbled looking up her dress.
"Would you like to pull some weeds?"
"Nope."
"You're not very handy today."
"Yeah." Hawkeye had no idea what she was saying. He was thinking of more important things. Her voice was in the background, but that was it.
"You know what I was thinking we could do? Why don't we go for a nice picnic lunch one day? Although maybe we shouldn't. It is pretty hot out. Then again…" Margaret continued to ramble on knowing what she was doing to him. When she stepped closer to him she widened her stance a little just to torment him more.
"Will you stop talking!" He was getting impatient now.
"Why? You don't like the sound of my voice? You're the one that's…." Her eyes widened and she looked at him when she heard a zipper being lowered. He was grinning evilly at her.
"Got your attention, didn't I?"
"Yes." His hands reached for her legs and he pulled her closer. "What are you doing?"
"What did you think I was doing?" His hands traveled up her soft legs. "You stepped out of your panties pretty easily. You knew what I was up to."
"Out here?" She looked down at him and realized his head was between her legs looking up.
"Yes."
Margaret got down on the blanket with him. "What if someone sees?"
Hawkeye laid her down on the blanket and moved in to kiss her neck as one hand rubbed her thigh, pushing her dress up. "No one is around."
"What if they walk by?"
"They can't see anyway."
"I don't know if we should be doing this out here."
"We should," he mumbled against her lips. She was silenced by him and didn't say another word to the contrary. She was easy to convince; easier then he thought she would be. His hand traveled up her inner thigh and pushed her legs apart so he could settle himself in between them. The last time he had sex outside was in Korea and that wasn't very romantic, that was just sex. With Margaret it wasn't just sex, it was love and passion too.
"Mmm, Hawk…" He was pressed up against her and she was trying to work on getting his shorts and boxers off, but it was difficult to do. He moved off of her a little and she pushed him onto his back.
The thunder rumbled outside and cracks of lightening could be heard. The noise never bothered Hawkeye; he was awake for other reasons. In fact, he had never fallen asleep that night. Thoughts ran through his head like a stampede of antelope; thoughts of what could be and of what could never be. He was scared of being alone, but he was more afraid of hurting Margaret. He wasn't so sure that she could love him forever even if he did love her forever. The dark and stormy weather was bringing all of these thoughts to the forefront.
Margaret woke up to find herself alone and shaking. These summer storms were torment to her. She would have been better off somewhere farther north, but the army didn't see it that way. She didn't know why Hawkeye wasn't there and she waited a few minutes to see if he would come back but he never did. She got up and pulled on one of his clean t-shirts and went to find him.
"Hey," she said sleepily. "What are you doing?"
Hawkeye turned and looked behind him. "Couldn't sleep."
"Me neither."
"The storm?" She nodded. "Come here." He took her hand and brought her around the couch. "You're shaking."
"I know. Will you come back to bed with me?"
Sometimes being in that bed with her was pure torture. He was just pretending and hurting both of them. But, when she asked him like that he couldn't say no. All she needed was a warm body, any would do, he just happened to be the only person there.
"Yeah." He stood to his feet and held her hand leading her back to bed. "Why are you so scared?"
"I'm always like this."
"That's not good."
"I know." She lay back in bed and waited for him to do the same. "Ahh," she screamed. A loud crack of thunder caused her to cling to him tightly. He was much nicer then a pillow.
Hawkeye lay on his side facing her and held her closely. She was shaking and genuinely scared of the storm outside their window. "Hey honey, there isn't anything to be frightened of."
"I know." At least her brain knew. Her face was buried in his neck and her legs were tangled with his as she tried to get as close to him as possible.
The storm was picking up outside and she was getting worse. She was tense and jumpy like a small child would be. Hawkeye didn't know what to do other then hold her. "I'm here. Don't be scared."
"I can't help it. Please just hold me." She was pleading with him.
"I'm holding you, baby." He rubbed her back soothingly and whispered softly to her. "Just don't think about it. Do you want to play another game of Twenty Questions?"
"No."
"Okay… Well why don't you think of…"
"No." She didn't want to talk.
"You don't even know what I was going to say."
"Please just hold me." Her voice cracked.
"I am." He kissed her head. "I won't let anything happen to you. You know that. I protected you from shell fire and I'll protect you from storms."
"I love you."
His eyes shut. "I love you." He wished she didn't love him. It would have been a lot easier if she rejected him. All of the feelings that she brought about were almost too much for him to deal with. His heart was breaking. Heaven wasn't nearly as lovely as he thought it was going to be six days ago when the two of them stumbled upon each other.
