Summary: Kind of Marissa's POV during the scene where she is kissing Ryan and keeps imagining Trey.(In the Showdown)
Disclaimer: I own nothing involved with the O.C. or its characters or the lines in italics. I do own the other parts, though!
A/N: WOW. It has been over a month since I last updated. I apologize to those few people who have been waiting (although I doubt there were any...) that I haven't updated. I was going to make up something about the part where Marissa goes shopping, but I realized that I didn't know enough about South Coast Plaza (even though I lived in Newport Beach for the first five years of my life). Below I wrote right after the episode aired. But I decided that I wanted to add things before it, so it has been sitting on my harddrive. And now I present it to you. Thank you to previous reviews--please keep them coming! Again, I apologize if the dialouge is confusing.
So listen, you've been a little…Is everything okay?
She had forgotten how good it felt to know someone really cared about she felt. Or that someone knew her well enough to be able to tell when something was off. She didn't need to be weird around him.
Why don't you tell me?
That sounded like her usual self, right? Why had she been afraid to kiss him earlier? His lips matched hers perfectly. Unlike Trey's. Ahh, that's why she had been afraid. But everything was fine, as long as she didn't think about him.
Ryan rolled over and was on top now. Of course, he always liked to be the one on top.
She did a double-take. It wasn't Ryan on top of her, it was Trey. Her pulse quickened as Trey slowly morphed into Ryan again. She recognized that look on his face, the look that he knew something wasn't right. She couldn't have that now, could she? Ryan had to believe that nothing happened. God only knows what he would do if he ever found out. Although, Marissa had a pretty good idea. She pulled him down to her again and faked a smile.
That seemed to do the trick. Until Ryan's soft, passionate kisses turned into Trey's harsh, lustful ones. She was being suffocated. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? She pushed back at Trey, trying to get him off of her. It worked, but why was Ryan the one looking back at her confused?
Why was this happening? Ryan was nothing like Trey. Trey was nothing like Ryan. They didn't look the same, smell the same, kiss the same, feel the same. Why couldn't she keep the two apart? It wasn't fair to do that to Ryan. Poor Ryan; he looked so dumbfounded. Of course he couldn't comprehend the sudden change in Marissa. Kissing used to make the pain go away, not make it more persistent.
Hey…
As always was the case, one word from Ryan meant a thousand others. What's going on with you? Is everything okay? I know everything isn't right, don't hide it. Please, just tell me. I'm trying my hardest here, what more can I do? God, she loved him. Ryan resumed his kisses. She could tell he really was trying.
Yeah, she could tell he was trying. Trying to get more out of her. Couldn't Trey understand it would never work between them? It was Ryan she was with, not Trey.
No one's ever been this nice to me.
As Ryan turned into Trey again, her hands no longer found comfort in their spots on his shoulders. It was if she couldn't help it. Her hands were pushing back at Trey the way they had that night.
Yeah cause you're Ryan's brother!
No, it is more than that.
All of a sudden Ryan was there looking somewhat puzzled. He smiled as his lips came back down to hers in an effort to console her.
One night, no one needs to know.
The two brothers switched off between kissing her; Ryan softly and Trey roughly. The words flowed in and out of her head as did the sound of the ocean.
Get off of me!
As Trey came back down again, she began to struggle. No amount of her thrashing would get him off. He was holding her down, pinning her to the bed. Wait, Ryan would never do that. Ryan wasn't doing that. But then Trey was there again. And then Ryan. Finally, Trey was pressing her into him, whispering against her ear, his breath hot on her cheek.
Nobody needs to know.
This was not going to happen again. She couldn't live through it again. She was going crazy. Marissa Cooper had finally flown her coop. The one person she always thought would be around to rescue her was now the one causing more agony. She pushed hard at Ryan/Trey and he easily fell off to the side.
Whoa. Wait, what's wrong?
Marissa got up and backed away from him.
I'm sorry. I can't do this. I thought I could, but it's been too long, too much has happened.
Okay, alright--I'm sorry.--Can we just…talk?
She fled out of the place she had come to love and wondered what she going to do now; now that the love of her life was gone once again.
