Author's Note: Hi guys – since it's been so long; I decided to add a short note in here as a reminder of what happened at the end of Chapter 2 – Asuka and Shinji are on their way to visit Misato in the hospital. After a series of small mishaps, they've finally arrived at her room.
Edit: I didn't find out until today that quickedit had deleted all of my original dividers, so the story must have been really confusing - hopefully this clears it up!She was crying. Perhaps out of frustration, Shinji thought. He sincerely hoped it wasn't out of pain. But she put on a genuine smile when Asuka and Shinji stepped into her room.
"Hey, Misato," Shinji took the first step, selecting the chair Ritsuko had sat on a few days ago. Asuka took a seat next to him and managed to keep her face impassive.
"Hey guys." Misato smiled wanly and sat up, but it was obvious that she was blinking back tears that had been threatening to spill down her cheeks. Her hair was a mess.
She doesn't look so good, Asuka thought miserably.
"So...so how do you guys like living with Hyuga-san?"
"It's pretty nice," Shinji remarked. "Although a lot more crowded."
"He has a nice view of Tokyo-3 from his window," Asuka commented. Misato chuckled, surprising them all.
"Is he still living on the 22nd floor?" she asked. The pilots nodded. "Last year we threw a surprise birthday party for Maya at his house. I got awfully drunk and almost fell off the balcony," she recalled with a crooked grin. "Haven't been back there since. I expect he's afraid to invite me over now."
The conversation died abruptly. She fingered her hair slowly, as if she were afraid to touch it. Shinji watched, perplexed, until a long strand suddenly gave way and fell onto the white covers.
Asuka gasped involuntarily and immediately regretted it. Misato's eyes welled up with tears and they spilled unchecked down her cheeks. She folded her legs and hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in her blanket. Asuka and Shinji exchanged a concerned glance as their guardian wept helplessly, more strands of hair falling out from her movement.
"I haven't been able to brush it in a long time," he heard her say, her voice muffled in the blanket. "It just all keeps falling out..."
They let her cry herself out.
"So, how's school—"Misato tipped her head to the side and coughed. "—going?"
"I got a one hundred on my literature test," Asuka said promptly, pleased at the change of topic.
"Excellent – and you, Shinji?"
"I got..." Shinji sighed. "I got an eighty-nine..."
Misato waited for the blow to come, almost wanting it—it would be like being home again with her two charges arguing as usual—but it didn't come. Asuka was watching her and made no response to Shinji's low grade.
She smiled bracingly. "That's still a good score."
Silence again.
Misato hated it. No one knew what to say, and worst of all, they were all avoiding her eyes. She hated that Asuka hated to see her like this, with her hair falling out and her arm purpled from the damn IV line, even if it wasn't her fault. She hated that Shinji was hovering over her, looking so damn helpless, even if he had sent her that damned stack of pancakes which Namika had thrown away, damn it. She hated her body for betraying her when NERV needed her. When she needed herself.
She shifted position, and another clump of purple hair gave way.
Shinji started towards her. "Maybe you should try—"
"I don't need your help," she muttered coldly. Shinji retreated as if she had slapped him. "I'm not going to die, damn it! So quit treating me LIKE I AM!"
Shinji backed away as Misato, having finally lost it, grasped the lamp by its slender metal stem and hurled it with considerable strength. Asuka ducked into the squashy couch as stained glass smashed at her feet. The cell phone went flying next and barely missed Shinji's left ear.
"I'm not going to die, damn it—!"
When finally every item within her reach lay in pieces on the floor, Misato stilled, still breathing deeply, her face flushed. She could not bear to face her young charges, wondering what they must think of her now. A baby cried in another room and she briefly regretted waking it up, though she couldn't imagine why there was a baby in NERV's hospital.
Asuka remained sitting on the couch, her legs pulled up beneath her as to avoid being hit by anything. She had unfolded some now, her arms resting down by her side. She stared not at Misato's face, but at her collarbone. It was too uncomfortable to even consider looking at her guardian's face. She chanced a glance at Shinji.
Should I start cleaning up? Shinji thought. He had never seen Misato in such a state and didn't know how she would react.
The silence held for some time.
"I'm sorry," Misato whispered at last, not looking at them.
Neither responded initially. But when Misato raised her head to face them, Shinji was already on his knees, cleaning up the broken glass. A moment later Asuka joined him, plucking up the pieces of the cell phone and refitting them together. Misato watched guiltily, wishing she could get down and help them. She said nothing, and they did the same.
Shinji winced and rocked back on his heels, and both females leaned over to see what was going on. The Third had sliced his finger on a piece of glass and squeezed the cut tightly with his free hand.
"Here... I'll get a bandage," Asuka offered genuinely, and hurried out of the room.
When Asuka was gone, Misato tried again. "I'm sorry, Shinji."
He smiled at her, a simple gesture that meant the world to her. "It's all right. Don't be sorry... we all need to vent at times. There have been times when I was angry at you too."
But you were justified—most of the time, anyway, Misato thought, but she was touched that he had not added anything of the sort to his last sentence. She reached out to touch his shoulder as he continued to clean despite the bleeding. "Don't do that, Shinji, you'll get dust into your cut. And—"
He waited for her to finish as she swallowed.
"Thanks," she said quietly, "for everything you've done for me. You—and Asuka."
Both were smiling again when Asuka reappeared in the room. Shinji took it from her with a soft "thank you" and attempted to apply it himself, but had trouble managing both sides of the adhesive strip. Asuka did it for him and quickly turned back to her task while Shinji swept the pieces into the trash.
"I think it's working now," she remarked thoughtfully, concentrating intensely on the illuminated screen of Misato's cell phone. A moment later it gave off its trademark start-up ring and all three cheered.
"Thanks, Asuka," Misato said gratefully. "I'm sure Miki will be just completely delighted to see what I've done to this room..."
"I'm sure NERV can afford another table lamp," Asuka assured her unconcernedly, absentmindedly giving her hair a classic little shrug over the shoulder. Misato watched her longingly and Asuka turned away, feeling her face flush. That was a stupid thing to do. "Or we could always bring you one from home, since no one's living there right now."
"Oh, I don't think it'll come to that," Misato said hopefully. Then she glanced over their shoulders and smiled. "Hey, Rei."
Shinji and Asuka both jumped, wondering how long she had been watching them. The First Child stood casually in the doorway, her hands hanging at her sides, but her eyes were alert.
"Hello, Major Katsuragi," she greeted, nodding slightly before turning her attention to the pilots. "Dr. Akagi requests that Pilots Ikari and Sorhyu return to the Geofront."
"See you," Misato waved morosely, as they hurried out the door. Rei remained standing, no doubt waiting for permission to leave. But Misato didn't feel like giving her any.
"Did Ritsuko say she wanted you back in the Geofront too, Rei?"
"No," Rei admitted.
"Well then, do you want to sit down and talk to me for awhile?" Misato asked, summoning what she hoped was her cheeriest voice. She gestured toward the sofa that Asuka had previously occupied. "Don't worry, if Ritsuko gets angry I'll clear it up for you."
"I will stay," Rei agreed, then hesitated. "...if you would like me to."
"Well, I do," Misato insisted, so Rei sat down. "I still haven't gotten around to thanking for telling Shinji and Asuka the news."
"It was my duty," she replied simply. Rei sat with her hands folded in her lap and her legs together, both feet resting on the floor. Misato apologized for the lack of lighting and asked if she would mind pulling the curtains aside. Rei simply nodded and did as she was asked. Not wanting the conversation to die out, Misato asked another question.
"How's school? How are you doing in your classes?"
"I am doing fine; I have 99s or 98s in all my classes," Rei said calmly. Then a flush crept into her cheeks and she looked away quickly as she said it. "But I prefer gym class the most."
"You do, huh? Asuka's told me you're quite a swimmer."
"Does she really think so?" Rei asked, before she could stop herself. Her eyes widened as if she expected Misato to slap her. It was not my place to say that. Instinctively she turned away.
"Of course she does," Misato told her fiercely.
The First Child thought this over. "I... I have never been complimented by Pilot Sorhyu," she said at last, a pink blush blooming over her white cheeks. "I did not know..." Her voice trailed off. She looked as if she had caught herself saying too much, and Misato gently corrected her.
"Don't be embarrassed in front of me, Rei... I know we've hardly ever talked in the past, but still... if you ever want to talk about something, I'm here. And I would really appreciate it if you stopped in from time to time, when you're not busy or anything, if you don't mind talking to me..."
I'm babbling, Misato thought.
"I would like that very much."
"Sorry, what was that?"
"I would like that very much," Rei repeated, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Misato opened her mouth to reply, but at that minute the room darkened substantially—to the point where she could barely to see Rei's face. She sat up quickly and looked out the open window. She could see nothing.
That can't be a raincloud, she thought.
Rei was already on her feet, hurrying to the window, but Namika blocked her path by throwing open the door.
"Rei—Ritsuko wants you down there now."
Rei nodded and dashed off. Since Misato had smashed the remote control (although Namika didn't quite know that yet), the doctor was forced to turn on the TV by using the buttons positioned at the base of the screen. It flashed to life, providing a live picture of what was going on at NERV. Misato caught a glimpse of a large sphere suspended in the sky, embellished with black and white strips.
"It'll take five minutes to evacuate the West Quarter," someone announced. Namika turned the volume up, pumping the button emphatically for maximum effect. "Target advancing slowly... at 2.5 km an hour."
"TURN IT DOWN!" Misato yelled, covering her ears. Everyone in the Geofront turned to look at her. "Erm... sorry...what's going on? The observation center of Mt. Fuji...?"
"It didn't detect anything," Shigeru reported. "It suddenly reported right above."
"Pattern orange. AT field not detected," Makoto added.
"Orange? What does that mean?" Misato asked, just as Ritsuko voiced the same thought—"Is this a new type of Angel?"
"MAGI is withholding its decision," Maya said quietly.
Misato was not liking this viewpoint. She could see Maya clearly, part of Shigeru, and only the back of Makoto's chair. Ritsuko was clearly visible, standing behind the technicians' chairs. But she could not see any of the MAGI's many panels and screens.
"Great, what a wonderful time for Commander Ikari to be absent," she muttered sarcastically. "Shinji? Asuka? Rei? Can you hear me?"
Static, then three matched replies.
"Yes ma'am."
Misato continued to direct the operation as if she were in the Geofront herself. Her own location made no difference now; however, her first words were to Ritsuko, asking her to move the camera so that she could have a better view.
"Target data is being sent to you," Misato told the pilots, examining Maya's work on the screen. "As of now, that's all we know. Approach carefully and watch how it reacts—and if you can, lure it away from the city."
"Shinji, you'll be going first?"
"What?!"
"Well, in any case, it's a job for a man of good record, daring, and the one with the highest sync ratio. Or do you have no confidence, Shin-chan?"
"I'm ready!" Shinji yelled indignantly. "I'll—I'll set a good example!"
"Hey guys..." Misato muttered, not wanting to hear an argument. But Shinji was already on his way. Asuka announced that Unit 02 would backup. Rei followed with a similar statement.
There was a long pause in which everyone held their breath, watching the Evas snake their way silently through the maze of Tokyo-3's buildings. Eva 01 clutched its gun closely, flattening itself as best as possible against a building. The power cord dragged behind while the sphere continued to loom ominously in the sky.
Misato heard Shinji's voice, low and urgent. "Ayanami, Asuka, are you in position?"
"Not yet," Rei muttered, darting across a street to a safer spot.
"I can't move that fast," Asuka groaned, and moved a few steps further. Her power cord got caught around a building and promptly snapped. "Damn..."
The massive hands of Eva 02 plucked up the spare cord and plugged it into its back. With that done, Asuka looked up and saw the striped sphere moving slowly.
It's not doing anything... yet...
From her room, Misato watched worriedly. She did not hear Shinji speaking to himself, but every NERV employee jumped when Evangelion Unit 01 unexpectedly leaped in front of the buildings and fired at the sphere, which instantly faded from sight.
"It vanished!" Ritsuko shouted.
"Pattern blue!" Makoto reported. "It's an angel—and it's right below Unit 01!"
It took a moment for Makoto's words to register in Shinji's mind. He had hesitated temporarily when the sphere disappeared, lowering his gun.
Then he saw the shadow, a black void ready to swallow him.
"A shadow?! Hey—HEY! What's this?!"
Eva 01 stepped backwards and fired into the shadow.
Shinji was screaming, terrified as his bullets disappeared into the dark abyss. His own voice drowned out Misato's "Run, Shinji-kun, get out of there!" even as Asuka's "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" reverberated around the inside of the plug.
"MISATO!" Shinji screamed. "WHAT'S HAPPENING? MISATO! ASUKA—ASUKA! AYANAMI! HELP ME! MISATO, CAN YOU HEAR ME?! MISATO!"
Despite knowing it was useless, Shinji continued to fire out of fright, watching helplessly as the blackness enveloped him.
"Eject the plug!" Misato shouted. Shinji's screaming of her name had left her shivering in dread of what the next few minutes would bring. Each scream cut into her like a sharp blade and she drew the blanket tighter around her shoulders, resisting the urge to plug her ears.
"No use! It's not responding!" Maya cried.
Shinji's screams continued to fill her hospital room—and then all was silent.
He was gone.
"ASUKA! REI! Rescue Unit 01!" Misato shouted. "And hurry!"
Asuka had watched in shock as Shinji disappeared into the angel, temporarily in a daze. Now she recovered quickly, feeling both angry and terrified.
"It's not particularly useful if you only get perfects on synchro tests, now is it?" she vented angrily. But in her mind, quietly, she added, please, Shinji, don't be hurt.
Meanwhile, Rei made the mistake of firing at the sphere in the sky.
"It vanished again!" Maya exclaimed.
"Asuka, be careful!" Ritsuko admonished. "Watch for the shadow!"
Eva 02 looked down just in time and managed to mount a building before the darkness swallowed it as well. Asuka dug her weapon into the wall and used it to pull herself up. The blackness continued to spread even as Tokyo-3's buildings took refuge underground.
"Asuka!" She perked up at the sound of her name, spoken with a mechanically modified voice. "Rei! Withdraw."
"Wait—" Asuka had barely begun when Rei made the protest for her.
"But Unit 01 and Ikari-kun are still inside," the blue-haired pilot quietly reminded.
Asuka watched Misato struggle with her decision on a small illuminated panel of the entry plug wall. The Major's hands were balled into fists and they were quivering visibly, though her voice held just the slightest tremor.
"You're ordered to withdraw."
The girls obeyed.
As much as she disliked having the technicians stare curiously at her, Misato convinced Namika to let her go to the Geofront—just for a few hours, she insisted. Ritsuko was exploring the aspects of a possible rescue mission, frequently dashing to the dry-erase board to scribble a few more arrows, and Misato didn't like having to look at it through her TV. Namika wheeled her reluctantly to the Geofront, where she sat behind all the technicians.
"The power cord was disconnected when we pulled it up," Ritsuko explained, "and there is little internal battery power left, but if Shinji doesn't randomly move Eva around—that is, if he remains in life-support mode—he can survive for sixteen hours."
Sixteen hours, Misato thought. What a tiny window of time. And most of that has passed already.
She leaned as far forward as she could so that she could speak privately to Maya without disturbing the presentation. "Did the radar pick up anything? Sonar?"
"No, nothing," Maya whispered. Misato leaned back, feeling defeated.
"In other words," Ritsuko continued, and Misato snapped back to attention. "The shadow that swallowed Evangelion Unit 01 is the main part of the angel; it can reach approximately 680 meters in diameter and has a thickness of only 3 nanometers." She sketched for emphasis as she talked. "It sustains that super-thin space with an inverted AT field, with the inside being an imaginary space called 'Dirac's Sea'."
"Then what's that sphere in the sky?" Misato asked.
"Nothing but a shadow," she replied calmly. "That should disappear when the main body is destroyed."
"We have to fight that black shadow?" Asuka wondered aloud, although in an undertone. She and Rei were still wearing their plugsuits, positioned at the very rear of the audience. "How can we target that thing?"
Ritsuko nodded and laid down her marker with a soft click as it hit the metal stand. The technicians, quickly realizing that the presentation was over, hurried back to their posts.
"The UN has decided to assemble a ground siege," Ritsuko said quietly, coming to sit beside Misato in Maya's now empty chair. "At least the shadow hasn't moved; it's stayed still ever since it reached a diameter of 600 meters." She gazed out the open door where several UN trucks were parked in a row. "I wonder if the ground forces will do any good?"
Misato didn't reply, tipping her head to the side, so that she could think without facing Ritsuko. Namika took advantage of this to suggest that Misato return to bed.
"No, no, I'm fine," Misato protested. "I need to be here, Miki... you don't understand."
Namika was ready to argue, but Ritsuko stood up.
"I'll look after her, Miki," she said, in an authoritative tone that clearly implied the end of the discussion. Namika opened her mouth and closed it reluctantly. Ritsuko was, after all, her superior. She looked at Misato hesitantly.
"Please, Miki," Misato begged, as if she were a child asking to stay up just one more hour. "I'll be fine."
Namika gave in. "But," she insisted, directing her comment toward Ritsuko, "I want her back in bed...as soon as this operation is over."
Ritsuko met her gaze squarely. "She will be."
She nodded. There was nothing else to be said, although she was still not satisfied. Namika turned and walked away.
Asuka watched the helicopters warily circle the sphere with sinking feelings that ranged from "it's not going to work to "what will happen to Shinji?" She moved aside to clear the path for a UN truck and asked a technician for the time. Eight twenty-six PM. It was already dark outside. And Shinji... Shinji will...
It's all his fault for ignoring the plan and acting on his own, she thought angrily. But really, that wasn't what she was angry with him for. Perhaps she wasn't even angry with him—she was angry with herself, for letting him worry her. And then there was Misato, looking frail as could be, with what was left of her tousled purple hair tangled and untamed. It was still hard for her to accept Misato's situation—strange, really, she thought, since I was the one who realized it first.
She turned to see Rei standing a short distance behind her, watching the UN's attempted siege in silence. Only the faintest glance out of the corner of her red eyes revealed that she knew Asuka was watching her.
Rei had not spoken to the Major since she had hurried out to the Geofront, and she did not try to do so now as Dr. Akagi made her way outside.
"...it's the only way that may be possible," she heard the doctor saying. "Dropping all existing 992 N-2 bombs into its center. Taking time into account and letting the two AT-field protected Evas infiltrate the imaginary space for only one millisecond. Focusing the explosive power and destroying both angel and Dirac's Sea."
But Ikari-kun!
The Major shared this thought. "But we don't know what will happen to Shinji!"
Dr. Akagi did not meet either of their eyes as she spoke. "Recovering the body of Unit 01 is the top priority in this operation. It may be badly damaged, but it'll be okay..."
Rei had never felt such dislike for anyone as she did for the blonde doctor at that moment. In three wide strides the shy, quiet pilot of Evangelion Unit 00 crossed the asphalt and stood head to head with Dr. Akagi.
I have promised to protect Ikari-kun. I will keep that promise.
"Yes?" Ritsuko asked, raising an irritated eyebrow.
"You cannot do this," Rei stormed angrily, a pink flush creeping into her white cheeks. "You cannot destroy Ikari-kun just like that."
"Yeah, Ritsuko," Misato edged into the conversation to take Rei's side. "I don't quite think..."
"The condition of the pilot can't be taken into account in this situation," Ritsuko said coldly.
Rei said nothing more, only kept her red-eyed glare evenly focused on Dr. Akagi's harsh face. Neither seemed willing to back down, Misato thought, glancing from one to the other, a wave of pride welling up within her at the thought of Rei standing up for Shinji.
Ritsuko broke the contact by plainly ignoring Rei. "Misato, I'll be commanding everything in this operation. Trust me." She left, brushing the pilot aside.
"Rei," Misato whispered. But Rei did not turn to look at her. It was Makoto who broke the spell.
"The entry plug's backup power has reached its theoretical limit!" the technician shouted, whirling around to face Misato and Ritsuko, who stood in the doorway. Several panels flashed red and reflected their light in his glasses.
Maya added, "The plug suit's life support system has almost reached the danger zone." She turned to look at Ritsuko, her eyes wide and filled with fear. "Sempai..."
"Let's move up the schedule twelve minutes then, while there's a chance that Shinji's still alive," Ritsuko ordered, without looking at her assistant. She had not noticed Rei wheeling Misato back into the building until they were almost by her side. "Asuka – Rei! Go get in position and wait for further instructions."
"Thanks," Misato whispered, but it was not clear to whom she was speaking.
Evangelion Unit 02 was crouching as close to the angel as her pilot dared. Despite having four eyes in her Eva, Asuka was having problems seeing in the dark and flickered on a light before quickly shutting it off. The angel had not moved.
"Hey, Wondergirl," she muttered, "where are you?"
Rei's head appeared temporarily in a corner of the entry plug. "Approximately one hundred meters due east of the angel."
"Get ready to generate the AT-field," Maya announced.
Asuka steeled herself, closing her eyes temporarily.
She was abruptly thrown on her side, gracelessly losing her balance as the ground gave a vicious quaver. Asuka placed a hand on the ground and brought herself back to a standing position with effort.
"What was that!?"
"Status!" Misato shouted, making an effort to leap out of the chair, but Ritsuko held her back.
"I don't know! All the gauges are all off the scale!" Maya cried out.
Ritsuko frowned. "But we haven't done anything..."
The speculation left Maya's lips as a whisper, but Ritsuko heard it and bristled. "Impossible! Unit 01 has zero power!"
Yet the ground shook again and they watched from the safety of the Geofront while Asuka let out a string of German curses as she was again knocked to the ground. One panel showed the red Evangelion rising back to its feet, while another showed that Eva Unit 00 had also managed to right itself.
AT field, Asuka thought fiercely, concentrating on the sphere, AT field...
But her concentration was shattered as the sphere quivered and its white stripes blended into black. Her eyes widened as a bloodied hand exploded out of its side.
Shinji!
"Shinji-kun!"
"Misato!" Ritsuko shouted, but the Major had already vaulted out of her wheelchair and was running barefoot down toward the silent Evangelion Unit 01.
It's over.
His limbs felt as if they were made of lead, and he felt perfectly content to lie back motionlessly and stare at the ceiling while LCL pooled around him. Someone was pounding on the door outside, shouting his name. He chose to ignore it all.
The door burst open and a whoosh of cool air swirled into the entry plug. Someone heaved a cry and threw herself on top of him—ouch, he thought—and continued to sob his name, weaving her arms around his neck.
"Shinji-kun... Shinji-kun..."
Shinji made the effort to look down and saw purple hair.
"Misato...?"
He sat up a little, but the Major refused to let go.
"Shinji..."
"It's okay," he told her softly, helping her up so that she was supporting her own weight. "I'm all right."
Misato smiled through her tears. "I'm so g-gla-ad—"She started to cough, turning her head to the side. Shinji patted her back, not caring that both of them were soaked with LCL. Her coughing became hacking, more strained.
"Sh-h-inji..."
"MISATO!" Shinji screamed, plunging waist-deep into the LCL to hold her up.
An emergency squad appeared within the minute and lifted the unconscious Major Katsuragi onto a stretcher, her LCL-soaked clothing and hair staining the cloth a rusty orange.
Shinji sat silently in the entry plug, unable to move as the scene unfolded before him.
Several stories above him, Ritsuko did the same.
Asuka was glad to have Shinji home again. It had been rather uncomfortable sharing an apartment with only Hyuga-san, and she had passed the days by going to school early and finishing her afternoon chores at home quickly before disappearing into her bedroom. She had not expected to miss the Third Child.
Three days had passed since she had been to NERV. Secondhand reports from Makoto did not reveal much, but she at least had the comforting news that Misato was awake and her condition had stabilized. Shinji had been hospitalized for two nights and released on the third day. Asuka bombarded him with questions about Misato the moment he walked in the door and learned that she seemed to have recovered from the incident, but treatments were not having nearly as much success as the doctors had hoped. But it was Shinji's description of the doctors brushing out her hair that had hit Asuka the hardest. She knew from experience that cleaning LCL out of one's hair was not fun, and she could barely imagine what it must be like for Misato in her current condition.
Saturday morning Asuka poked her head out of the bathroom and called, "Shinji, are you done reading the newspapers?"
"Yeah, go ahead and take them."
"Thanks."
She'd tried yesterday to do it herself and failed miserably. Asuka hated more than anything to fail, but at least no one would have to know this time—except for Hikari. The class rep was currently making her way to Makoto Hyuga's apartment by train, quite oblivious of what the redhead expected her to do.
Asuka unfolded each newspaper to its maximum size and spread them thinly over the part of the floor that was positioned directly in front of the sink and mirror. When she could see none of the tiles, Asuka slipped back to her bedroom and returned with a pair of sharp scissors.
Back in the bathroom, the Second Child looked wistfully at her reflection and closed her eyes.
This is for Misato, she thought determinedly. I can do this...
The doorbell rang, shattering her thoughts. Shinji opened the door for her, greeting the class rep with a bow.
"Good afternoon, Miss Horaki."
"Thank you, Ikari," Hikari rewarded him with a smile and glanced around the apartment interestedly before following her friend to the bathroom. "Asuka, what are all the newspapers for? Asuka?"
"Here," Asuka grunted, and Hikari turned to see her hoisting a chair from the dinner table. She set it in the center of the newspapers and casually announced, "You're going to cut my hair."
"What!" Hikari jumped back. "Asuka! I couldn't possibly do that! Your hair is so beautiful..."
She reached out to touch the copper strands, but the redhead jerked away and sat down, hissing, "Please... just do it..."
Hikari picked up the scissors uncertainly with one hand and a lock of hair with the other. It reached halfway down Asuka's back and glistened in the light. Hikari took a deep breath and snipped off about five inches.
"Too long," the redhead complained, "keep going."
Hikari selected a lock just behind Asuka's ear and held it between her index and middle fingers at the shoulder. "To here?"
"Shorter."
Hikari slid her fingers up an inch.
"No... shorter."
Unable to resist, Hikari asked incredulously, "You want a haircut like that of Miss Ayanami?!"
"Shorter," Asuka said firmly. "Erm... how about to here?" She placed her fingers just below the ear.
"All right." But the class rep didn't quite have the heart to do it, and Asuka didn't complain when the finished product was still a bit longer than she had asked for. Hikari put plenty of effort into her task, layering Asuka's hair as best as she could and blow-drying it after combing everything delicately with a wet brush. Only when she was done did she dare to ask.
"But Asuka... you always loved your hair. Why did you decide to cut it?"
Asuka's expression was clouded over in darkness. "It's been really hard for Misato to even look at me recently, with losing her hair to chemotherapy and all... I really didn't want her to hurt any more than she already did," she confessed.
Hikari nodded and hugged her friend. "I'm proud of you." She stepped back to look in the mirror, grinning. "It doesn't look so bad, if I do say so myself."
"You did a wonderful job," Asuka agreed.
Namika was in a furor, and rightly so.
"You knew perfectly well that she belonged in bed, and yet you chose to overwork her for six—SIX—hours! You—"
"Do you have any idea how depressed you've made her, cooped up in that little room—"
Miki slapped her. Ritsuko was forced to take a step back to regain her balance.
"All her latest test results show that—"
"Damn the 'latest test results', what matters is that—"
"Oh shut it, both of you," Misato said heavily, and both doctors fell silent. "Miki... don't kill Ritsuko, we wouldn't have much of a NERV without her... and Ritsuko... you know Miki only wants the best... for everyone."
She was lying in bed, covered with several thick blankets that did not hide the line running into her arm; the doctors' argument had woken her from her deep slumber despite the fact that they had been outside her room. Now Ritsuko and Namika guiltily slinked in, both glaring daggers at each other but reserving a sympathetic expression for Misato.
"How're you feeling?" Namika asked.
"Fine," Misato replied moodily, "bored."
Ritsuko gave her old classmate an I-told-you look that emphasized the swollen redness of her left cheek.
"Is Shinji still here?"
"Nope, he left this morning," Ritsuko said. "Don't worry, he's completely fine."
"Now you, Misato, on the other hand," Namika seized an opportunity to cut into the conversation, "I don't want you out of the hospital again anytime soon. You'll be no use in an angel attack if you're not alive to see it."
"But when I'm here—"
"We've arranged to have three more television screens installed." Ritsuko spoke over her. "That way, you'll be able to see the maps, the pilots, along with anything the MAGI shows... and us."
"All right," Misato agreed reluctantly.
She had not seen her reflection in several days. Either she had been too tired to lift her head, or just hadn't cared. She hadn't been awake when they raked the LCL out of the precious amount of hair she had left. It was thinning by the day, Misato thought gloomily. Then a thought occurred to her.
"Hey guys – I need a wig."
Both women blinked initially, but quickly recovered. Namika quickly deferred to Ritsuko, saying that the latter had had more experience with hair color. Ritsuko argued that Namika had had more experience dealing with what a patient might prefer. They compromised on the agreement that Namika would bring in an assortment of wigs for Misato to choose from.
"Hey, have you seen the transferee?"
"Another one? First Shinji, then the redheaded devil..."
Kensuke lowered his binoculars and pointed. "Well, it is another redhead... very short hair though, too bad she's facing away from us."
"Well, I hope she's nothing like Sorhyu," Toji muttered darkly and lay down across the shingles, staring up at the cloudless sky. The wind ruffled his hair and made bits of it stand on end.
Kensuke adjusted his binoculars. "Class rep's coming!" He made to get off the roof immediately, but Toji was reluctant to follow.
"Maybe we should stay up here, let the class rep come find us," he yawned, stretching as he did so. "I'm sure Sensei won't mind...Shinji's been gone half the time and he hasn't cared."
"Right, right," Kensuke said tonelessly. "So you really like the class rep, huh?"
Toji tossed a baseball with one hand and caught it nimbly with the other while he contemplated his answer. "She's not bad."
"AIDA! SUZUHARA!"
They ran for it.
Hikari was standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at the two boys. "Have you been on the room ALL this—" her glare softened slightly at Toji's spinning the ball effortless across several fingers: "—time?"
"Well, we—"
Asuka stepped out.
Toji's jaw dropped.
Kensuke stared.
"Y-y-you're the transferee!" he stuttered.
Asuka raised an eyebrow. "Transferee?"
"Yeah, well, the hair," Toji mumbled, trying to demonstrate with his hands.
"Hikari cut it for me," Asuka said proudly.
"Oh really?" Toji leaned forward for a closer look. "She did a nice job."
"I wouldn't have known that you didn't get it professionally cut," Kensuke assured, and Hikari beamed visibly with pride.
They passed the morning in silence listening to renditions of what happened during the Second Impact. But when lunchtime came, the classroom broke into chatter and Asuka looked expectantly to Shinji for her lunch, as she usually did. The Third Child quickly retrieved her bento and placed it on Asuka's desk. She rewarded him with a smile and a "Thanks, Shinji", instead of the usual "it's about time!"
"She's being a lot nicer to you today," Toji commented. "Got something to tell us, Shinji?"
"What?! No!" Shinji exclaimed. Lowering his voice again, he added, "She's been like to almost everyone after we went to go Misato."
"Speaking of Misato-san, how is she?"
Shinji sighed. "Not so great. She's very depressed—even took to smashing furniture. And running out to me after the last angel attack didn't do her any good." Shinji placed his hands on either side of his forehead and propped his elbows up on the desk. "All the doctors seem so pessimistic nowadays..."
Kensuke and Toji exchanged glances. No one knew what to say, so they ate in silence.
Misato was surprised to see her.
"Rei," she said warmly, turning her head aside to cough. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"I have made a promise to come, and I intend to keep it." She paused. "Furthermore, I like speaking with you, Major Katsuragi."
"Then call me Misato," the Major smiled, genuinely pleased.
Rei nodded.
"You know, I'm very proud of you for sticking up for Shinji against Dr. Akagi, even if she considered it disobeying a direct order."
"I have made a promise to protect Ikari-kun and I intend to keep it as well," Rei explained honestly.
Misato laughed. "You've made a lot of promises, haven't you?"
"Yes."
She was content just being in the presence of the Major—Misato, she corrected herself mentally. Rei was not used to people actually liking to have her around—she simply existed, and most people did not question that. But Misato liked her, actually welcomed her and wanted her around. It was a new feeling.
Rei had wondered whether or not to come at all. Perhaps the Major had simply been joking. Or maybe the Major was still critically ill and would not want to speak with her.
Yet here she was, swathed in white sheets, smiling up at the First Child from her abnormally pale face. She didn't have to do this—she could have easily ordered Rei out the very first day. But instead she had asked the girl to come and see her, and she had obviously meant it. Rei had never felt so appreciated in her life.
"I... made you something, Maj—Misato," Rei commented quietly, reaching into her knapsack. The contents of the small translucent plastic container were still warm.
Misato watched interestedly as Rei held it out to her and savored the warmth in her dry hands, peeling off the plastic cover carefully. Inside, arranged in a colorful array, lay a variety of steamed vegetables, glistening in some sort of sauce.
"You made this for me?" Misato asked, incredulous. It had never occurred to her that the First Child cooked, but then again—she lived alone, so who would have cooked for her?
"Yes." Rei produced a pair of chopsticks from her knapsack, wrapped delicately in a pale pink napkin edged with cherry blossoms. "I do not know if Dr. Ishiyama would approve..."
"Too bad for her." Misato plucked a slice of carrot from the bowl. "This is really good, Rei—where'd you learn to cook like this?"
"Ikari-kun prepared this dish for us when I was there, a few weeks ago," Rei replied, internally beaming with pride, "although I have experimented by adding different vegetables as well."
Misato nodded and swallowed hard. "I can't sit here and eat the entire thing myself. Go on, have some yourself."
"No, no," Rei insisted, "I made it for you."
"I can't eat all of it," Misato complained. There was a short pause in which she seemed to be thinking deeply. "All right then, as your commanding officer, I order you to eat."
Rei thought this over, smiling a bit in spite of herself. A long hunt produced a plastic fork from the bottom of her bag. The blue-haired girl picked up a piece of Chinese cabbage and chewed slowly, giving Misato more time to eat.
"So how's school coming?"
Rei paused with her fork mid-air. "We are studying several pre-Impact novels, and in mathematics we are studying derivatives."
"And gym?"
"We have progressed from swimming to track."
"Track," Misato mused. "I never liked that... much more fun to watch Miki racing Kaji—they were the athletes of our year. Miki is short for Namika, Dr. Ishiyama's first name," she explained.
Rei nodded. "I know."
They ate in silence for a while before Misato tired of the quiet and ventured, "So what do you want to do in the future?"
Clearly taken aback, the First Child turned still as a statue and her eyes widened. No one has ever asked me that before, she thought. No one has ever cared. I exist only to pilot Eva.
But Misato doesn't think so, she reasoned.
"I don't know," she said finally, looking away.
Misato blinked at this response, but Rei said nothing. She could not tell Misato that she was essentially worthless, that there were a hundred some carbon copies floating in that underground cauldron.
"I would like to go to college someday," she said.
Misato smiled. "Then I hope you go to Tokyo University. Of course they've had to rebuild it many times across the years due to Angel attacks, but I hear it's still a wonderful school."
Rei nodded. Sensei had talked about the greatness of Tokyo University. For the first time, she felt a hope that she would one day be there.
The days crawled by for Misato, each bringing more misery than the one before. She had read through Rebecca three times. She had followed the affairs of every famous Japanese actress for weeks. And she had received more shots than she had in the rest of her life put together.
Namika had taken her off the oral chemotherapy drugs and instead decided to inject it directly into the space around her spinal cord, explaining that leukemic cells tended to collect around that area. She could bear the needles in her arm, but she could not bear the idea of that needle going into the back of her neck, and it did not get any easier as days went on. Namika continued to maintain that perhaps she would soon go into remission; however, it was clearly becoming apparent that even the doctor was losing hope.
She drifted in and out of sleep nowadays, constantly tired, and feeling relieved that she didn't have to spend energy eating, even if it meant having to keep the line in her arm. Several infections came and went, including a particularly angry red rash that developed across the skin of her chest and shoulders. Several times Rei came to see her and was told that she was asleep; whenever this happened Misato would become angry and subdued and vow to be awake the next time she came.
But she couldn't do it. Occasional high fevers would keep her bedridden and sleepy, barely conscious of what was going on around her. Namika continued to run bone marrow tests that left her feeling achy and sore for weeks at a time. Ritsuko bought her an audio device, similar to Shinji's SDAT, so that she could listen to pre-taped stories instead of having to hold up a book.
October came and passed before a day came when Misato could sit up and enjoy the autumn scene through her window. She had not really been awake to see the Japanese garden at its flowery peak, but she could take pleasure in the shady branches of scarlet maple. Ritsuko came by and opened the window for her so that she could hear the birds chirping.
"I'm not looking forward to winter at all," Misato admitted. "When everything's white and dead... and so clean..."
Ritsuko laughed. "None of us do. Except maybe Miki, since mosquitoes are buzzing rampant in summer while carrying all those diseases—and winter kills them off."
She had expected to draw laughter from the Major, but she heard none. Instead, Misato said quietly, "Namika's attitude towards me has changed recently."
"How so?"
"She's so curt," Misato muttered miserably. "Anything I mention to her—any pain, any discomfort—I get a 'we're trying, Misato, be patient '. I never see her anymore, besides when she's injecting me with more drugs or sucking out more blood." She paused. "So doctor-like, so unfriend-like."
Ritsuko remained facing away, her weight balanced on one leg and the other toe tapping the floor silently as she gazed outside. A small bird landed on a nearby branch and cocked its head, watching her curiously. A moment later it took flight and left the bough quivering. Dr. Akagi sighed and turned away.
"Did you know that yesterday was Miki's birthday?"
"No," Misato was forced to admit, "I didn't."
Ritsuko left the window and sat down in the chair that Rei had occupied days ago. "Too bad. I went to her house yesterday with a cake, but no one was there."
"Where was she?"
The blonde held her companion's gaze firmly. "In the lab, running the latest tests on your blood."
Misato flushed, and Ritsuko continued. "I know Miki's not the sort of person to spoil a patient, but she does care. She just tends not to show it."
The Major nodded, embarrassed that she had been thinking only of herself.
"Hey." Kaji stuck his unshaven face in the doorway and waved a large hand. "Mind if I come in?"
"Kaji!" Misato smiled happily as he strode in and gave her a big bear hug.
Kaji grinned and kissed her on the forehead. "And you." He patted Ritsuko in a friendly fashion on the shoulder. "So, Rit-chan says they've gone and bought you a wig. How does it look?"
Misato reached over and retrieved it from her bedside table. Almost all of her hair had fallen out in the days when she had being severely ill, and Ritsuko and Namika had decided to go ahead and buy a wig for her. Unfortunately, Ritsuko had insisted on being the only blonde and they couldn't find a purple of the same shade as her natural hair. Furthermore, Namika had declared brown too dull and Ritsuko argued vehemently against blue, so they had settled on red. Misato had taken a look at it and tossed it aside. Now she reluctantly lowered it over her head.
Both Ritsuko and Kaji burst into unrestrained laughter; Misato, feeling that she might as well make the best of it, shrugged and gave a lopsided grin.
"You—look—like—" Kaji clutched his sides, laughing furiously: "Asuka—"
He tipped off the chair and rolled on the floor, still laughing. Misato demanded a mirror and Ritsuko, her face intensely red from laughter, produced a small compact from her purse. Misato's eyes widened at the sight of her familiar face framed in a shower of copper curls that made it so utterly unfamiliar even she had to laugh.
"Wait until Asuka hears about this," Kaji wheezed, holding onto his side with one hand as he climbed back onto his chair, only to burst into another fit of laughter. The two women exchanged glances and rolled eyes.
"Yeah, how is she?" Misato asked, eager to draw the attention away from her hair.
"They seem to have bonded pretty well with Makoto," Ritsuko informed her. "Actually, they invited their classmates over a few days ago. Makoto seems to be pretty cool in the children's eyes."
Misato smiled, thinking of how well Kensuke and Makoto would get along. She snapped the compact shut and handed it back to Ritsuko, then tore the wig off her head.
November saw Misato through yet another bout of chronic illness, this one even more virulent than the last. Doctors hurried in and out of her room in a swish of white lab coats. To Misato, it all seemed as if the scenes were being played in fast-forward. Sometimes Kaji would be there, holding on to her hand. Other times she would be completely alone, either shivering from cold or soaked in her own sweat. Namika changed her to another chemotherapy drug, but the side effects only worsened.
For Shinji and Asuka, this was a time of extreme emotional turmoil and surprisingly, a time of bonding. They did not leave NERV each day until they had pestered the latest news out of Ritsuko, and when they walked home it was often in silence. Makoto, meanwhile, often worked overtime without complaint, so the children were left at home. Asuka took to watching TV late into the night and often falling asleep on the couch. Shinji was left to do homework alone in the bedroom.
Homework rarely stumped him. Shinji was not a dim student, and he liked to have his work done correctly and on time. However, this time he was utterly stumped, so he slid the door open and poked his head out.
"Asuka?"
Perhaps she was still awake; her usual array of talk shows lasted until at least one in the morning. Shinji tiptoed out, clutching the paper between two fingers.
Nope, he was wrong. Her hair was scattered loosely over the pillow and formed a fiery frame for her sleeping face. The lights were on, but the TV volume had been tapered down until it was barely audible.
Her moaning though, was quite audible.
He couldn't make out what she was saying. There were several "m" sounds and a few "s" sounds, or perhaps that was simply a sharp intake of breath. Shinji, who had witnessed her nightmares before, concluded that she was dreaming about her mother again.
Time to go to bed and leave her be, his rational mind prodded. But he had barely turned when Asuka flipped over and shrilly cried out, "Don't die!"
The rational voice continued to inform him that he was being an idiot, but regardless, Shinji made his way to her bedside and knelt down, pulling a blanket over her body.
Silence.
Shinji hovered, wanting to make sure that she was okay. Asuka took in shallow, even breaths, her lips just slightly parted. Out of nowhere her face contorted and her hand shot out, grasping, reaching—he heard the blended "m" and "s" sound again—
Without thinking, Shinji put up his hand and let her take hold of it.
Wrong move. She squeezed it tightly, holding it close to herself in such a position that Shinji had to quickly get up and move or risk having his hand torn off. He hesitated, giving her hand just the tiniest squeeze. Her eyes flew open.
"Shinji!"
"Sorry," he apologized quickly, drawing his hand away. "Sorry..."
Asuka looked down and was pleased to find that she was fully dressed. "It's all right. I was dreaming..." She shivered.
"About your mother?" Shinji supplied helpfully.
"No..." Asuka drew her legs closer to her and buried her face in the blanket. "I dreamed that Misato was dying."
This took Shinji by surprise, and he crept closer and sat down beside her on the floor.
"Do you want to talk?" he asked at last.
Asuka revealed her face at last, looking straight ahead. "We were all there," she began shakily. "She just... faded a-away..."
Her voice shook and died. Asuka lay down and turned her face inward so that it faced the back of the couch. "Shinji, what will we do if she dies?"
It was hard for him to believe even that this terrified girl before him was really Sorhyu Asuka Langley, but Shinji did his best to respond. "I don't think she will, Asuka... don't think such thoughts."
"I didn't think I cared so much," Asuka whispered hollowly. "I didn't want to care."
Shinji took some time to reflect. "I didn't want to come," he said at last. "I didn't want to pilot Eva... I had never had anyone care for me before. My father didn't care... the teacher I stayed with treated me like a burden. Misato was the first person who actually, honestly, cared..."
Asuka shut the TV off and hugged her legs to herself. Shinji stood up and hesitated before putting his arms around her tentatively, then quickly drawing away.
"You should get some sleep," he advised. "Are you sure you don't want your room back?"
"No, I'm fine." She slid back down and drew the blanket up to her nose.
Shinji smiled. "Asuka..."
"Hmm?"
There was no doubt in his voice as his spoke.
"Whatever happens, we'll make it through."
Author's Notes: sort of a weird chapter, hopping through the months, but I really wanted to get this one out (it's been sitting in the depths of my computer for much too long.) I'm hoping to update around once a month from now on...
I know that at some point in one of the flashbacks Fuyutsuki says, "Back then this country still had seasons", but I've decided to add them in anyway for effect.
And thanks to XXXG-00W0 and KenshinNigoki for the tips on Asuka's character – hope she's much better in this one.
Lastly, to jennyjennai—your review touched me in a way that I really can't explain. I'm very glad that everything's all right now and that you've come through it all!
Thanks everyone!
