December 8: another usual day in bed for Misato, who had finally grown used to her Asuka-like hair. Namika came in to bring her a glass of water and congratulated her, but that was it. No Shinji, no Asuka, no Rei— or even Ritsuko, Misato thought morosely. She passed the morning listening to a recorded version of Anna Karenina, occasionally pausing her SDAT when a familiar voice passed by her room. Once or twice she thought she heard Kaji, but he never came in.
She hoped it hadn't been him. If it had been him, well—of all the days not to come by!
Misato gave up hope and drifted off to sleep around noon, waking up at sporadic intervals. Someone came in and removed a piece of equipment but did not speak to her. At four thirty-two, Misato decided that she had slept far more than was necessary, and settled down to celebrate alone.
"Happy birthday to me…"
Is there any reason to be happy that I'm turning 30?
"Happy birthday…to me…"
I wonder if I'll live to see my 31st year?
"Don't wake her—Dr. Ishiyama said she was asleep."
The door slid open and in came Makoto, hauling an entire drum set on wheels. Upon noticing that the Major was awake and watching him, the technician blushed crimson and muttered, "Ah… uh… guys! She's awake!"
Shigeru strutted into the room, his guitar hanging over his shoulder by a nylon strap. He cleared his throat, glanced to the others for confirmation, and began singing loudly.
"Happy Birthday to you; Happy Birthday to you!"
"Happy Birthday dear Misa—"
"Major," Maya hinted.
"—Major Katsuragi…"
Shigeru drew out the last syllable. "Happy birthday to you!" He strummed out the final chord as Makoto's drumming built to a climax and Maya accented the ending with a delicate ting on her triangle.
Grinning proudly now, Misato clapped eagerly. Makoto began drumming again with newfound confidence. Shigeru quickly jumped in, but their rhythms did not match and Maya was soon begging them to stop.
The presents began to shower upon her. Ritsuko had bought her a pair of crystal earrings and Maya an elegant gold locket. Namika demanded upon inspecting all presents after Kaji attempted to sneak in a case of beer, crudely disguised as perfume.
"It was just a joke," he complained peevishly as the doctor dumped everything into the trash.
"Not a very funny one," she assured him.
Misato was having a grand time when Asuka and Shinji pushed their way into the room, followed closely by Rei. All three were dressed in school uniforms and had apparently come over directly after class. Shinji was carrying a white frosted cake, and Rei was balancing a large rectangular box in her arms.
Somebody fetched a knife and Shinji sliced the cake, handing the first slice to Misato. Namika, however, was quick to intervene.
"But Miki," Misato groaned, "it's my birthday!"
The doctor exchanged a look with Ritsuko, relented, and allowed Misato a few bites. Namika got the next slice, then Ritsuko, and finally Kaji. Rei declined, and Asuka had only a small piece.
"So what's in that box?" Kaji muttered through a mouthful of cake. He turned his head to the side and swallowed hard. Ritsuko shot him a dirty look and exchanged an exasperated smile with the other doctor.
Rei set down her cake and gently tore off the binding tape to reveal a case stuffed with foam peanuts.
I wish I could have opened it myself, Misato thought sadly, too bad there's no way I can reach the box, and there's no way it would fit on my lap...
The First and Third Children held the cardboard flaps open while the Second reached in to pull out an elegant stained-glass lamp, furnished with a slender brass stem to hold up the lampshade.
"Originally we were going to just buy you a lamp," Shinji explained, "but we couldn't find anything that was pretty, so we ended up making our own lampshade."
"You made this?!"
She rotated it around slowly in her hands and saw that her name was embedded into the bottom edge with fragments of purple glass. The rest of the cover consisted of a background made from pure white pieces of glass, with branching greenery and yellow glass flowers positioned neatly in between.
"Where'd you guys learn to do this?" she asked.
Both Shinji and Asuka deferred to the quiet one: "Rei."
"You taught them how to do this?" Misato stammered. "Where'd you come up with the idea for this?" She spun it in her hands again. "It's lovely…"
"The idea came to me after I noticed that you did not have a lamp in your room," Rei said modestly. Ritsuko bristled and made as if she wished to speak with Namika, but Rei simply continued and did not give her the chance. "I am very happy that you are pleased, Misato."
Did she really just place a tiny accent on that last word? Ritsuko pondered, but let it go.
"We definitely couldn't have done it without Wondergirl's help," Asuka assured Misato. "Here, let's plug it in."
Misato threw out her arms and drew all three Children into a tight hug as the room burst into light.
"What would I do without you guys?"
She guarded those memories fiercely over the next few days, feeling a warm sensation of happiness break over her every time she turned on the lamp and filled the room with illuminated flowers. They cared about her; they loved her, and that was enough to keep Misato going.
But only two days later the Major was again listening to Anna Karenina when she unconsciously reached up to scratch an itchy spot on her neck, exactly where Maya's locket rested. No… surely she was imagining it. With her hands shaking, Misato reached into the top drawer of her wooden bedside table and drew out a compact mirror, anxiously flipping it open.
It was there. An angry red rash, spreading from the area under the locket as if being egged on by some invisible flame.
Misato threw the compact back into the drawer and quickly closed it. She picked up her SDAT and lay flat, breathing heavily. She knew by now, from past experience, that the first sign of a major infection was usually the rash.
She felt for the clasp of the necklace and fumbled with it, but her fingers were clammy and kept slipping off the slender metal hooks. A few moments passed before the necklace came free and she tossed it aside as if it were on fire.
She forced herself to calm down.
It's probably just a reaction from the locket.
That doesn't quite make sense though, she thought. I've worn gold earrings and stuff before and had no adverse reactions.
Perhaps the alloy was different from what she had worn before?
That made more sense.
She heard Namika's voice passing by her room and considered asking her to take a look at it, but the thought of more needles and side effects drove that idea away.
It's just the locket, Misato convinced herself. So I'll just quit wearing it… and it'll all be fine. She retrieved the necklace from the other end of the table and dropped it into a drawer, sliding it shut before replacing her earphones and depressing the play button on her SDAT.
"Thanks."
"What?"
"Thanks for agreeing to go through this," Asuka murmured quietly.
Shinji looked at her quizzically. She shook her head and looked away. Pen-pen gave her a curious look.
It had been her idea to move back to Misato's apartment. Surprisingly, it had not taken long to win The Commander's approval (after all, the First managed alone; why couldn't the Second and Third?). Telling Hyuga-san had been harder. Ritsuko took it upon herself to break the news to him, stressing that he had done nothing wrong, just that the Children would like to be back home. Even so, the technician was gloomily quiet as he pulled into the parking spot beside Misato's old blue car.
He got out of the car without looking at either of them and popped open the trunk. Shinji followed and quickly made to take out the boxes. Asuka, feeling as if she were living in some sort of a morbid haze, was the last out of the car.
"Let me carry that," Hyuga-san offered. Shinji shook his head vehemently.
"No, no, it's fine—I can handle it."
I'm not doing my part, Asuka thought. She circled the car slowly and took one of the boxes in her hand. A large strip of masking tape held it closed and bore the words Andenken von Deutschland.
How long ago it seems, that I packed this box. I never even bothered to open it.
"I think that's it—Shinji, are you sure you don't want any help?"
"Yes; err—thank you, Hyuga-san."
Asuka could almost feel invisible fingers of etiquette prodding her in the back; quickly she added, "Thank you."
"Wark," Pen-pen chimed in.
"You're both very welcome." He lifted a hand in brief farewell. "Feel free to come back at any time."
Shinji took three boxes and Asuka took two, both declining to have the technician walk upstairs with them. The elevator ride was silent, and when it stopped Shinji balanced his boxes on one knee in order to free up a hand so that he could open the door.
"It's so quiet," Asuka whispered as the door slid open.
The apartment was in disarray, as almost three months had passed since anyone had inhabited its rooms. The boxes that Asuka had left half-packed were still strewn across the hallway. A thick layer of dust covered the tabletop.
It took them some time to get settled in again. Shinji locked the door behind them and Asuka opened the windows to let in some fresh air; Pen-pen warked loudly until Shinji found him a can of beer. They turned on the TV purely for the sake of having some noise to break the dead silence, ignoring the fact that only soap operas were on.
Asuka wiped down the tabletops while Shinji decided not to go shopping, for which she was glad. She didn't want to be left alone for any reason. They ate pancakes since the only thing Shinji could find was a box of dry pancake mix. Neither touched the beer. Neither spoke for the most part, either; the only sound was of Pen-pen drinking his beer eagerly. Hyuga-san had not been an avid drinker and Pen-pen had dearly missed his beer.
Nighttime was a different issue. Asuka had looked forward to sleeping in her own bed again, but now she could not rely on TV to tire her to the point where she could fall asleep as soon as all was quiet. Instead the redhead lay awake, shivering beneath her cold blankets.
The heat came unexpectedly to life with only a soft growl before dying to a faint hum, but it was one that nevertheless made her jump. I shouldn't be scared of such stupid things, Asuka admonished herself, seriously, what am I turning into?
She wondered if Shinji was asleep.
Asuka drew the blankets up to her nose and pulled her legs up closer to her body, rubbing her cold feet. Maybe she ought to open the window; a little noise might help her to settle down—the quietudeof her once-familiar room was now altogether much too eerie.
The Second Child walked to the window, rubbing her arms as she did so. Tokyo-3 was still alight outside; many buildings continued to cast soft glows of yellow light from their curtainless windows. The grove of trees beneath her had been reduced to a gray smudge in the darkness. Asuka tilted her head, looking for the NERV building, where Misato was residing.
You don't belong there, Misato…you belong here, at home…
The window wouldn't budge, and all Asuka got for her efforts were cold hands. However, instead of clambering back into bed, Asuka picked up her blankets, sheets, and pillow and tiptoed over to Shinji's room.
She slid the door open an inch and whispered, "Shinji… are you still awake?"
No response.
Asuka let herself in and closed the door silently behind her. Shinji lay facing the wall, his shape only vaguely distinguishable under the thick blanket. The girl threw her cargo to the ground and spread out the sheet on the floor.
I really must be going crazy.
But nevertheless, she lay down, drew the blanket over her shivering body, and slept better than she had in weeks.
She was awakened hours later by the sunlight streaming in through the frozen windowpanes. Asuka stretched, realized it was cold, and quickly retracted her arms. It took her a moment to remember where she was.
She hadn't remembered the floor being so soft…
Asuka propped herself up on her elbows and realized, to her horror, that she was in Shinji's bed.
Fortunately, Shinji was not also in it.
She looked to her right and saw that Shinji was fast asleep on the floor, under her blanket and pillow.
"What the hell?"
Shinji shifted, muttering something indistinguishable, and she quickly said nothing more. Asuka remembered that her clothes were still in their cardboard box and hurried to find some warm clothing. After a warm shower she felt sufficiently awake and headed to the kitchen.
There really was nothing but beer and pancakes. Asuka pushed all the alcohol away impatiently and uncovered a loaf of bread, only to find it crusted with blue mold. In disgust, she flung it into the trashcan and scrubbed her hands viciously over the sink despite the fact that they had only come in contact with the plastic wrap.
I guess I'll have to make pancakes again… and we'll drink water.
Shinji walked in just as she was getting flustered at having burned three in a row.
"Here, let me do it," he murmured, suppressing an enormous yawn, "don't flip it just yet, give it a minute more—"
"But then it burns," Asuka complained, removing her spatula and frowning at the batter that remained stuck to the metal surface. Shinji took it gently from her hands, wiped off the batter, and flipped it over perfectly. The moist side sizzled in the heat.
"Hey," Asuka asked, "why was I in your bed last night?"
"Well… you were cold as an icicle on the floor after having kicked your blanket off, and I figured that my bed was probably a lot more comfortable than the floor."
"That doesn't explain how I got into your bed though."
Shinji blushed. "I…er…put you there."
"You WHAT?"
"S-sorry…" Shinji turned away, his head lowered.
Asuka thought about it and shook her head with a sigh. "You're forgiven. Or maybe I should be thanking you for it. Your bed is a lot nicer than the floor."
She shook her head again and left the kitchen. Shinji gave the pancake a final flip to make sure that both sides were sufficiently cooked and slid it onto a plate, all the while pondering this change in his roommate. Only a few weeks ago she would have killed me for doing what I did…
He smiled to himself as he turned off the heat.
"Morning, Misato."
"Hey." The Major didn't turn her head. "What's the date?"
"December 16. Why?"
"Lost track of the days."
Namika frowned a little at this. "Is something wrong?"
"No."
"Misato—look at me."
Slowly, as if it took great effort, Misato turned to face the doctor, revealing her flushed face. Namika took caution in keeping the worry out of her expression as she placed a hand to Misato's forehead.
"I'm going to take your temperature, just in case," she explained smoothly, fumbling for an electronic thermometer in one of the lower drawers of Misato's bedside table. Several anxious moments passed while they waited for a reading.
"It's not very high," Namika commented. Her comment failed to draw any sort of response from the patient. "You haven't been experiencing any other symptoms, have you?"
The locket.
There was no point in hiding it longer. Misato undid the first button of her hospital gown to reveal the rash, which now had spread to cover an area about the size of her hand. Namika's eyes widened considerably.
"How long have you had that?" she demanded.
"About a week…"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought it was just from the locket Maya gave me."
Namika groaned.
Misato sighed and braced herself for another round of treatments.
Kaji was driving from Nagoya back to Tokyo-3, his third such trip in two days. Of course, he would have much rather flown, but these choices were never for him to make. At least they allowed him to drive; there were few things Kaji hated more than security officers following him about. He took the beachside road and drank in the seascape as the car droned down the narrow road. A small sigh escaped his lips as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.
His cell phone rang. Kaji wondered briefly whether or not to answer it.
"Ah, why not."
It was Ritsuko, explaining that Misato had gone unexpectedly into a coma.
The car swerved. Kaji earned himself a loud beep and a string of colorful language from the driver behind him as he shouted into the phone.
"We don't know yet!" Ritsuko yelled, so that he could hear her over the noise.
Kaji pulled over. The angered driver behind him stopped momentarily to shake a fist in his face before taking off in a storm of dust. He concentrated on shifting his attention back to Misato, but couldn't find anything to say.
That was, besides the one thing he didn't want to ask.
"Is she going to live?"
It was a long time before Ritsuko answered. "Miki says it's still too early to tell."
Kaji cursed in German and thought he heard a sharp intake of breath on Ritsuko's end as he pulled back into the driving lane.
"Just get back here soon, will you?" Ritsuko's mechanically modified voice echoed in his head. "The Children are near inconsolable."
"I'm not surprised," Kaji replied.
Two hundred and sixty kilometers away, Ritsuko slowly put down the phone and temporarily rested her head against the doorframe of Namika's office. It was white and ridged, simplistic yet stylish. Ritsuko remembered the time she had thought Misato's blood had a whitish tinge on her hand. She backed away from the door.
She knew that Namika was furious with herself for letting the situation fly out of her hands. The doctor was now constantly hovering over Misato's bedside, fiddling with the various tubes that were currently keeping her alive. In the few hours since the Major had lost consciousness, she had received several blood transfusions to bring up her low blood counts.
Ritsuko had taken care of informing Shinji and Asuka, both of whom had been at school and quite willing to skip the rest of classes to come over. However, as there wasn't particularly anything they could do to help, they were temporarily ordered to stay at school. Either she or Kaji would spend the night at Misato's apartment with them.
Makoto and Aoba had been shocked, the former more so than the latter. Maya had completely fallen to pieces and insisted that the entire ordeal was her fault.
"If only I had known, I would never have given her that necklace…" she sobbed. Medical knowledge could only comfort her to a nominal degree; regardless of Ritsuko's efforts to explain that her necklace had not caused the rash, Maya was not convinced.
But outside of their private worlds, NERV continued to function. The Commander had displayed no emotion when Ritsuko had informed him of the situation—not that she had expected him to. His sole interest was that the progress of NERV not falter under these unexpected circumstances, and so the workers continued their construction. Testing continued as best as the technicians could manage. Ritsuko herself could hardly manage to keep her composure during the long hours she spent in the Geofront, and ran down to the hospital as often as she dared.
Kaji arrived at NERV within the hour, having apparently driven Misato-style for the remainder of the journey.
"Where are Shinji and Asuka?" he muttered glumly.
"Still at school," Ritsuko replied, checking her watch. The Commander would not stand for her being away for long. "Do you mind staying with them tonight?"
"That's fine. Look at me, Rit-chan—" he grasped her around the shoulders so that she was facing him— "how bad is it, really?"
"If she can survive this weekend…" Ritsuko looked away for a split second. Kaji shook her lightly. "…she'll have a much improved chance."
Asuka was angry, very angry, even given the Second Child's usual temper.
"WHY won't they let us see her?" she raged, ignoring the crowd that was gathering around her. "It's not like we've done anything important in school since I've gotten here!"
Hikari tried to console her, but she shook her friend off and pushed her way through the crowd, disappearing into a grove of leafless trees.
The class rep watched her anxiously, then shook her head and looked for Shinji. He was seated under a tree some distance away from the group of girls, accompanied by Kensuke and Toji. She felt a familiar thrill at the sight of the latter, but pushed it away. Now was not the time.
She knew Major Katsuragi, obviously not as well as Asuka, Shinji and Rei did, but she did consider her a nice woman. The thought that she was tottering on the edge of death made distressed Hikari greatly.
"And so close to Christmas too…"
If only there were something she could do. Hikari could cook and console, but she could not cure leukemia. The class rep sighed.
She was the last thing on Asuka's mind as the Second continued to force her way through the woods, completely oblivious of the bare branches that clawed at her skirt. Anger does not begin to describe how I feel, she thought furiously, forcing herself to breathe. The initial anger at Dr. Akagi had faded somewhat, and was instead replaced by a fresher, brighter hatred for whatever mystical power had brought this fate upon them.
She plowed on for some distance, wanting to get away from the noise of her schoolmates. How petty of them, to moan like that about boys and clothes. Asuka's hands clenched into fists. Why US? Why Misato?
There were no answers to her questions.
Asuka pounded her fist into a nearby oak, but the great tree responded only with silence. The girl slowly tipped her head back, squinting at the sky—it was not quite definable as "sunny", but nevertheless hard for her to look at with her eyes fully open. A large black bird took wing from a bare branch above her. Asuka shook her head, closing her eyes tightly and refusing to open them for fear that the inevitable tears wouldcome.
Slowly she slid down to the ground and sat at the foot of the tree, leaning against its coarse bark, cold and withered with age.
"Arrrgh…"
Asuka opened her eyes. Her eyelashes were crusted with teardrops.
She hugged her folded legs to her body, the anger dissipating quickly, but immediately being replaced by feelings she couldn't quite describe. Feelings she hated. Feelings that she had trampled down deep inside her and plastered away behind a concrete wall because she never wanted to feel them again.
Feelings that had coursed through her the day her mother died.
She felt like a little girl again.
Asuka groaned, angry with herself now, but unable to stop the droplets of worry and anguish that fell from her blue eyes.
I…I'm the best of the Eva pilots; she thought. I have the highest grades in the class. I've broken eight school swimming records since I arrived here.
But none of that will save Misato.
I can't do anything.
How she wished at that moment, that leukemia existed in the form of a huge angel. She would have dearly loved to stamp upon it, fire upon it, rip it to pieces. But she had no power against tiny malignant cells.
Something crackled behind her. Asuka turned instinctively in the direction of the noise. Had somebody come for her? Hikari?
"Better not be Shinji…" She raked a sleeve across her damp eyes.
It wasn't Shinji. It was a squirrel, apparently trying to decide whether or not she would hurt him if he attempted to cross in front of her. It hesitated for some time, studying the girl with his beady black eyes, then flew across the ground and was gone in a flash.
Reluctantly, Asuka rose to her feet and brushed the dirt off of the back of her skirt. Her feet carried her without instructions from her mind, and her hand moved instinctively some fifteen minutes later to open the doorknob. The teacher paused midsentence as every head in the class swung in her direction.
Asuka did not meet any of their eyes as she quietly shut the door behind her and took her seat.
Shinji was silent the entire way home, which was quite usual for him. However, Asuka was also silent, and that he did not find normal; nevertheless, he didn't question her behavior. Their cell phones had rung again just as they stepped out of the school—it was Ritsuko, again, to tell them that they were to head directly home and not to take the train to NERV. When Asuka protested weakly, Ritsuko informed her that the next day would be Saturday and that they would be free to visit Misato then.
They did not speak on the train either. Shinji sat to Asuka's right and held his bag close while Asuka let hers dangle loosely from her hand by one of its straps, the majority of the weight resting on the floor of the train.
Kaji was waiting for them at the door, his face set in hard lines that betrayed the severity of the situation. Asuka ignored him and went directly to her room.
"Kaji?"
"Yes, Shinji?"
I can trust him not to lie to me, Shiniji thought sadly, as he broached the topic with caution. "How bad is it?"
"Very bad." Kaji coaxed him out of the doorway so that he could shut and lock the door. "I'm not going to lie to you, Shinji…they're not sure if she'll even make it through the weekend."
He watched as Shinji thought this over.
Asuka, meanwhile, had busied herself piling up all the furniture against the door, more because she needed something to do than to avoid Shinji and Kaji. Mental exercises such as algebra problems wouldn't do. She needed something physical to do.
When that was over with, she flopped herself onto her bed and lay down.
"Why…"
Why did she have to get sick? She can't die now…she's much too young…
Mama died when she was not much older than Misato is now.
She's still too young to die…
Do you consider Misato better than your mother, then?
"No," Asuka whispered defiantly, "she's not better than my mother, she'll never be my mother."
Silence.
Why do I care? She's not my mother.
Asuka buried her face into her pillow and refused to breathe, because she knew that when she did it would come out as a choking cry.
I promised myself, when I came here, that I wouldn't grow attached to anyone here. For me, there is only Kaji; for me, there is only Deutschland.
But I broke that promise… I let Misato in… and Shinji, argh…baka Shinji…
She pressed the pillow closer to her face.
Air, her lungs reminded her, air…
Shinji and Kaji winced simultaneously as the loud, heartbreaking sob echoed from Asuka's room.
She woke before dawn the next morning, her eyes reddened and swollen. It was cold, and she made no effort to get out of the bed. Her gaze fell on the German calendar hanging from the edge of her windowsill. It was December 21.
Winter vacation has begun, she realized. I didn't even say goodbye to Hikari on the last day of school.
She remembered Christmases in Germany. By this time, Kaji would have set up a magnificent tree—Christmas trees were a German tradition, after all—and he would sit back and let her decorate it, with the aid of a ladder.
"Don't you think this one would look so pretty up near the top, Kaji-kun?"
"Hm… I think it looks better off the to side."
Little Asuka, not aged more than eight years old, climbed to the top of the ladder and stood on tiptoe to place the glass star where she saw fit. The ladder toppled over, throwing her into Kaji, who in turn fell into the Christmas tree. The tree broke in half and Kaji was very sore for some days, but Asuka was unhurt and had even managed to guard her precious star ornament.
Asuka smiled dryly, the magic of that moment gone. Her expression changed dramatically as she thought of Misato. The Second Child leapt out of bed and ran to the window, searching half-heartedly for the familiar NERV building, as she had secretly done every night.
She looked at the mass of furniture stacked against her door and sighed. Well, she wasn't going to get more sleep anyway; might as well start taking it down—unless she wanted to exit her room through the window. Asuka found a jacket to keep herself warm and got to work. When everything was finally back where it belonged, she slowly slid open the door and took a step into the dark hallway.
"Wark!"
"Pen-pen?"
She got a disgruntled penguin sneeze in return. "What are you doing here?"
Had the apartment been sufficiently lit, she would have seen Pen-pen throw her a disgusted look before waddling off to find somewhere else to sleep.
She saw the reason for his discomfort a few moments later. The light was on in the kitchen, and she could hear water boiling—the stove, after all, was not far from his usual sleeping place.
"Kaji-kun?"
He was dressed loosely, in an old university t-shirt and overly large pants. Asuka noticed dark circles under his eyes as he turned to greet her without a smile.
She edged closer for a better view. "You're making German dumplings."
"Tradition," he muttered shortly.
Asuka smiled wryly in spite of herself, temporarily lost in the past. "Yeah, you always made them for breakfast…"
"Yeah." He dipped his fingers into a small bowl of flour and spread the residue over the countertop. "Made them for Katsuragi too, some years ago."
"Oh."
The conversation died then, as Kaji was clearly not eager to speak. Asuka stayed for a few moments longer, watching him drop the raw dumplings into the hot water. She cast a glance toward the oven's clock; it was not quite six.
Shinji did not wake until seven-thirty, by which time Asuka had forced herself to complete most of her homework (a task that had been made much more pleasant by Kaji's dumplings, which were every bit as delectable as she remembered). The Third Child greeted his roommates gloomily before disappearing quickly into the bathroom to shower. Kaji made sure that he ate his share of the dumplings, and then the three set off for NERV.
As was custom, Shinji entered from the left side of the car and seated himself in the back. Kaji settled himself into the driver's seat, and Asuka chose to sit as his side. Shinji stole frequent glances at her and noticed that she did not fawn over the older man as usual, but laid her head against the window and stared out into the cold environment.
He tried to convince himself that she was just sleeping. At any moment, her eyes would register the slightest bit of movement and their guardian would jump out of bed, exclaiming, "I knew it! Admit it, you've liked Asuka all this time!"
But this was no prank. Misato did not sleep in such—well, decent positions.
Shinji glanced at Asuka. Her eyes were downcast and focused on her toes. He turned his gaze instead to the lamp they had made for her. It was off now, the pieces of glass dark from lack of light.
The doctor stepped in, temporarily breaking the silence to place Kaji's bouquet of flowers on her bedside table. Kaji nodded briefly in thanks and smoothed a lock of hair away from Misato's face. His earlier words echoed in Shinji's head.
I'm not going to lie to you, Shinji…they're not sure if she'll even make it through the weekend.
Misato had been here many times for him before, when he had been unconscious after battles, but this was the first time he had had to sit by her side and wonder if she would ever open her eyes again. Only now did he truly understand what his guardian had been through.
It suddenly occurred to him that Misato was not much older than his mother at the time of her death.
She's been like a mother to us.
Asuka would not have shared that point of view, he thought, turning slightly to look at the girl again. Her eyes remained focused on Misato's expressionless face, but held just a faint trace of dampness.
Kaji reached over and turned on the light, casting a soft glow on Misato's face.
"Looks better that way, don't you think?"
Neither pilot answered him.
They left the lamp on when they left, at Asuka's request.
On day two of winter break Shinji awoke early to the sound of feminine chattering in the kitchen. Hikari was here and had brought a large platter of sugar cookies fresh from the oven. Each cookie had been cut into the shape of a Christmas tree, a heart, or a star, then sprinkled with colored sugar.
"Ikari!" Hikari greeted him.
"Hi, Miss Horaki," he mumbled, not quite wanting to face the girl. Quickly he disappeared into the kitchen, not noticing Hikari's crestfallen look.
"Oh, don't bother with him," Asuka muttered. "He's just… been off recently."
"Because of Miss Katsuragi?" Hikari guessed, and Asuka's eyes clouded over. "Asuka…I know you're very hurt and all, but shouldn't you be feeling more considerate towards him since you know what he's going through?"
"I guess," she mumbled.
Hikari took a cookie and bit into it, chewing thoughtfully. "Asuka, if you'd rather I not be here intruding, I can go home at any time. I don't want to inconvenience you, especially so early in the morning."
"No." For a moment Asuka was almost tempted to reach out and grab Hikari's arm, but held herself back. "Damn it, Hikari, you're the only person in this place who's not moping. Shinji's barely spoken in the last few days, and Kaji, well, given the relationship he and Misato had, you can imagine how he's reacting…"
The door to Misato's room slid open and Asuka colored a bit, expecting a light reprimanding from Kaji for having spoken about his love life behind his back.
"Kaji-kun—"
"It's not Kaji," a feminine voice said. Ritsuko Akagi ran a hand through her blonde hair, already neat and groomed. "Hello, Miss Horaki."
Asuka blinked as Hikari jumped to her feet and bowed. "Dr. Akagi."
"Kaji said he would be staying with Misato and coming back sometime in the night, so we were not to wait for him," the Second protested weakly.
"Yes, and he's finally gone home to get some sleep, so I'm taking over for the time being," she replied curtly before entering the kitchen. "Morning, Shinji."
"M-morning, Dr. Akagi."
"Ritsuko'll do outside of NERV." She poured herself a cup of coffee and drank deeply. "Finished your homework yet?"
"Er…not quite…"
Asuka turned slowly to look at Hikari, her eyes wide with astonishment.
How can she be doing this? she wondered silently, watching Ritsuko go about the kitchen as if she owned everything. As if everything was just fine.
Pen-pen warked, and Asuka half-heartedly tossed him half a cookie.
Hikari stood up and gracefully pushed in her chair. "I should probably be getting home now, since Nozomi and Kodama will be awake soon." She reached across the table to hug Asuka. "Take care."
Today was by far the most miserable day of Shinji's life—at least that he could remember—and that was saying a lot. He sighed and glanced down at his incomplete work, a mumbo-jumble of numbers of terms that seemed quite incomprehensible to him now. Shinji's gaze fell upona single digit, a roughly penned 3.
3 whats? 3 meters, 3 yard, 3 miles? 3 train stops from here to NERV?
It didn't matter. Shinji sighed and put down his pencil.
Nothing had happened all day. The Third Child remembered one dreadful experience when Eva-01 lay prostrate upon the ground, waiting for the Angel to crush it. Thissuspense was not all that different, Shinji thought. He could not help fully expecting the worst, and had nearly lost it when a few hours ago the phone had begun to ring.
He had been sitting at the dinner table and Asuka lying on the couch, studying the ceiling. The Third's hands clenched into fists, nails digging into his palm, while the Second turned her face away to avoid looking at the doctor.
Dr. Akagi answered it, and they watched nervously for any body gestures that might hint about the nature of the call. There were none.
When it was over, the blonde simply replaced the receiver, sighed, and moved out of the room. The two pilots looked at each other.
Shinji, feeling a small bubble of hope, said quietly, "No news is good news, right?"
Asuka glared at him before climbing reluctantly off the sofa and disappearing into her room. Wondering what he'd done wrong this time, Shinji retired to his room as well and decided to start his homework. He did not wish to have Dr. Akagi reprimanding him for low grades.
Through the door he heard a door slam and Dr. Akagi call, "Where are you going, Asuka?"
"Out," the Second called, and Shinji heard the door shut.
Shinji placed his head on the table and covered his ears, hoping that Dr. Akagi would not come into his room despite the closed door. It occurred to him that perhaps Asuka had taken a leaf out of his book and was running away, at least for the time being, even if it was only to Hikari's.
Some time later Shinji rose from his chair and made his way to the window, only to see Asuka's red hair standing out against the white snow. She had both hands tucked in her pockets and was walking away from the building at a steady rate.
He wondered where she was going.
"Excuse us."
Asuka moved woodenly over and the middle-aged lady stepped in front of her, pulling a young child by the hand. The boy was shouting off a long list of the items he wanted for Christmas, and his mother hastened to tell him not to make a scene.
Maybe I shouldn't have come, Asuka thought. It's too cheery here.
Contrary to what Shinji thought, she had not been running away to Hikari's. Some twenty minutes after leaving the apartment, Asuka had found herself in the middle of the local shopping district, with no idea how she had arrived. The Second leaned against the wall of a candy shop and watched the shoppers, arms laden with variously sized packages, file past her. Some sang Christmas carols or hummed to themselves as they moved, and others paused from time to time to admire all the decorations that the stores had put up. Most of the snow had either melted from all the footsteps or was becoming increasingly dirty. Every once in awhile a car would drive by and splash the shoppers with muddy water.
She blended into the crowd and traveled within it for some time before coming to a stop in front of a clothing store. Asuka pushed open the door and entered.
Her movements caused a medley of small bells hung above the door to begin ringing, and the clerk looked up with a smile. Asuka recognized her as the one who, so many months ago, had told her that she looked lovely in the dress Hikari had pressured her to buy.
"May I help you?"
"No," Asuka glanced over her shoulder and was relieved to see that her item of choice was still here. "I know what I'm here for."
"Oh." The lady looked slightly taken aback. "Are you sure you wouldn't like any help?"
And then Asuka realized it. The woman didn't remember her as the proud adult that had come here to shop so many days ago. Her short hair and sad eyes were making her look younger than she had expected. Instead of making her stronger, Misato's ordeal had changed her into a child. The clerk was seeing her as a child.
"Yes, I'm very sure," Asuka stated, and stepped around her, making her way directly to the rack. Once there, she paused for a moment to regain her composure.
It was still there, the maroon dress that she had tried on last summer, the price slashed for the holiday season but still hovering at a handsome sum. Asuka slipped it off the hanger and brought it to the register.
One of the benefits of being a NERV pilot was that she received a generous salary; after all, mankind's survival depended on them. Asuka drew out her wallet from a pocket on the inside of her jacket and handed over her credit card. The clerk wished her a Merry Christmas as she left the store with her purchase in a seasonal bag.
She took her time getting home. She had her cell phone, after all, and they could easily reach her if there was an angel attack. Asuka clenched her free hand into a fist, trying to retain as much warmth as she could.
She paused a short distance away from the apartment building, recalling fond memories as the cherry tree came into sight.
It was bare now, its branches empty and forlorn, but Asuka made her way over to it, her footsteps leaving even prints in the snow. The last time that she had stopped to see this tree, she had spent the day insulting Misato over every little aspect of her life. The memory made Asuka blush with shame and guilt, and she turned away, promising herself mentally that as soon as it bloomed, she would bring Misato a large sprig of the flowers.
"I can't believe we're doing homework on Christmas Eve."
The doorbell rang, cutting off her rant.
Asuka and Shinji glanced at each other across the table at which they were collaborating on a science project.
"Can't be anything bad, they'd call us if it was," Asuka said cryptically. Shinji thought this over and went to open the door.
"Ayanami!"
Asuka jumped out of her chair as Rei stepped in, wearing a faded brown coat that was much too large for her. Ice crystals glistened in her hair.
"Do you… do you want a change of clothes?" she blurted, as Rei removed her snow-caked shoes. Did I really just say that? I offered Wondergirl MY clothes?
"I would appreciate that very much," Rei stated calmly, "if it would not inconvenience you, Pilot Sorhyu."
"Uh, yeah," Asuka mumbled. "My room's this way."
She fetched Rei a towel and made her way back to the main room after showing the First Child to her room. Shinji was idling, waiting for them to come back.
"That was really nice of you," he said quietly.
Asuka bristled. "Now don't be getting all mushy on me, Third Child… she was wet, was I supposed to let her freeze?" She dwelled awhile on some random thought. "I wonder what's in her bag?"
"I don't know…" Shinji stared at the wet backpack, the one she carried to school and back every day. It was zipped tightly and gave no hint of its contents.
The owner appeared a moment later, dressed in an overly large shirt that read "Ich bin Stolz, Deutsch zu sein" and a pair of Asuka's old jeans. It appeared that she had selected the oldest and most frayed clothes, not wanting to be an inconvenience.
"Oh, honestly, Wondergirl…" Asuka ran off to her room, muttering, "It's not like I'll kill you if you borrow some clothes."
Shinji tried to strike up a conversation.
"Umm…what's in your bag?"
Rei responded by plucking out three packages of different sizes; one was wrapped in blue paper, one red, and one purple. Shinji felt an uneasy situation at what he knew was coming, but Asuka had saved him from having to speak.
"Put these on, Wondergirl… and what are you doing?"
"I have brought Christmas presents," Rei stated matter-of-factly. "And thank you for lending me these clothes, Pilot Sorhyu."
Asuka glanced over Rei's shoulder at Shinji, as if to ask, "Did you know about this?"
Shinji shook his head furiously and held up both hands as if to say, "What are we going to do?"
"Well, seeing as we haven't got a tree…" Asuka's sentence drifted off. Her gaze fell on the leafy plant beside the entrance to the kitchen. "Well, it's not the most convenient place, but… do you want to place them there?"
Rei did so, and Shinji quickly followed her, saying, "You really shouldn't have done this, Ayanami—we—we're—"
"It is customary to give presents at Christmastime, is it not?" she countered quietly.
"Yes, well…" Shinji blushed.
Asuka's mind was spinning. Within the last minute, Wondergirl had showed up, brought her presents, and she had given Wondergirl her clothes. Now a new worry faced her: amidst all the recent angst, she had not put any thought into Christmas presents.
"Erm… would you like to stay for dinner?" Shinji invited.
Rei rose to her feet. "I shall not inconvenience you further," she insisted, turning to Asuka. "Thank you again for the clothing."
"Hey, you can't go now," Asuka found herself protesting. "It's… it's dark outside. You'll get mugged or something. And it's cold."
The door opened behind Asuka and Dr. Akagi stepped out, buttoning up the front of her jacket as she did so. She stiffened upon encountering Rei, who simply focused on her with large red eyes.
"I'm going to the hospital and probably won't be back until late," she warned them. "There's money on the table. Order something if you'd like."
Shinji turned to Rei as the door shut. "See, you won't be of any inconvenience—I won't have to cook extra or anything."
Rei glanced toward the door, thinking of Dr. Akagi. She would not like to meet the doctor on her way home. She accepted Shinji's invitation.
Asuka found the number of a local restaurant and made the call. Less than fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang.
"Technology sure is fast these days," Asuka commented.
They ate in silence, punctuated only occasionally with a comment about school. Asuka grumbled about the lack of swim classes in winter and to her surprise, Rei commented quietly that she did too. For a moment Asuka was temporarily taken aback by her courage to speak, then remembered the times that Rei had beaten her in the pool and chose to remain silent while she tried to decide what to do. Instead she lowered her head and stabbed at a piece of pork with her chopsticks. Rei had chosen the vegetarian course and seemed to be enjoying it. Shinji had chosen somewhat of a mix between the two girls' choices.
He finished first and excused himself for a moment, leaving Asuka and Rei alone. Surprisingly, it was the latter who spoke first.
"Have you been to visit Misato recently?"
Asuka stabbed at her food miserably. "Yeah. It was really hard to see her like that." She turned away, annoyed at herself for showing weakness.
"When did you go?"
"Two, maybe three days ago?"
"I see."
The conversation died abruptly, leaving Asuka to wonder about Rei's motives. Shinji reappeared a moment later, looking slightly preoccupied.
"Ayanami, it's snowing furiously outside. I don't think it would be in your best interests to try going home in this condition; you might be better off spending…the night here…"
"I cannot do that," Rei protested. "I have already imposed enough on you and Pilot Sorhyu by staying for dinner and borrowing clothes."
"I'm sure Asuka wouldn't mind sharing a room with you," Shinji pressed, hoping that this move wouldn't get him killed.
The redhead nodded without looking up from her food.
The Third Child did the dishes and cleared up while Asuka laid out a stack of blankets on the floor for the First. Rei decided that she would be fine sleeping in what she was wearing now, and Asuka figured it would be easiest to let her. She located a NERV complimentary set of toiletries in the bottom of one of the cabinets and handed that to Rei.
Later, Asuka had almost drifted off to sleep, when Rei suddenly said, "You are very upset about Misato."
Asuka's eyes snapped open. "And you're not?" she whispered sarcastically.
"I am," the First Child said quietly, "but I am concerned about your demeanor about the whole affair…it is not good to keep one's emotions bottled up as you have been doing."
"Shut up," Asuka hissed. "I don't need you telling me how to handle this situation, damn it. You—you have absolutely no right to—"
Images of her mother fluttered across her mind, silencing her.
Rei said nothing more.
Asuka turned her face to the wall and shut her eyes tightly, but it was a long time before sleep came to her.
Ritsuko touched her friend gently on the shoulder. "Miki."
The other doctor shook her head and remained hunched over her desk, sobbing quietly into her hands.
"Misato needs you to hope for her, not cry for her," Ritsuko said quietly, and sighed. She was no good at this. "Miki, we know you did everything you could have to make her well. Nobody blames you—"
"I do," Namika sobbed quietly.
Kaji took an understanding but firm grip on Ritsuko's arm and led her out of the office and back to Misato's room. They didn't enter, but instead stood by the window where they could have a clear view of the Major.
"This brings back bad memories for you, doesn't it?" he murmured.
Ritsuko was silent a long while before she answered. "I couldn't handle my mother's death," she said quietly. "She wasn't much of a mother to me, and she was not all that well liked at Gehrin, but she was my only relative. Still, it was much easier to pretend that I didn't care."
"And your father?" Kaji promptly gently.
"I never met him, and I don't care to." The blonde threw back her dyed hair, her feigning of nonchalance failing as a dark curtain of gloom settled over her eyes.
"I see." Kaji shrugged. "That's understandable."
"This is a different situation, though. Last time I had only to deal with my own feelings. This time there's Shinji and Asuka."
"The whole situation is hurting Asuka much more than she wants to admit," Kaji commented. He gripped the windowsill tightly and mentally willed Misato to come back, not only for himself, but for Shinji and Asuka.
Unbeknownst to him, Ritsuko mentally voiced the same prayer.
On Christmas Day Asuka awoke with her eyes swollen almost shut. She touched them gingerly and found them sticky and wet. Something in her dream had made her cry, but she could not recall it now.
She turned to her right and with some difficulty saw that Rei was gone, having folded her "bed" into a neat pile of blankets and pillows.
It's Christmas, she thought.
She remembered and hastened to her closet, tearing out whatever might be suitable to give as gifts. There was an old tape of German lullabies that Kaji had given her when she was young; perhaps Shinji could listen to it on his SDAT. Now for Rei…
Asuka searched frantically, finally emerging with a picture frame. It was covered with dust but the violets pressed between the two sides of the glass border were still as beautiful as ever. She grabbed an old T-shirt and scrubbed the glass as clean as she could, then slid out the picture of Kaji holding an eight-year-old Asuka. She'd find somewhere else to put that photograph later.
She didn't have fancy wrapping paper, but the tape had a clear plastic case and she found a small souvenir bag in which to place it. Rei's picture frame she placed in an old box decorated with fake flowers. Asuka held their gifts in one hand and with the other, picked up Misato's dress.
They were both outside waiting for her already. Asuka noted three more packages beneath the tree, and added hers to the pile.
"Merry Christmas," Shinji greeted her.
"Yeah, you too," she said quietly. Asuka poured herself a large cup of hot coffee and sipped contentedly. "Where are Ritsuko and Kaji?"
"Both at the hospital," Shinji answered her. He poured out a cup of coffee for Rei and finally one for himself. "They said they'd come back for lunch, though."
"What about Misato?" Rei interjected softly.
"I guess she'll be alone," Asuka murmured, staring into her cup. "How dreadful… maybe we should all go eat at the hospital so we can at least be near her." She looked around for support. "Right guys?"
"I approve," Rei said quietly.
"Shinji?"
"Yeah."
"Then that's settled. I'll call Kaji and tell him that." Asuka stirred her coffee and rubbed her hands together to keep warm.
"Should we open presents now?" Shinji wondered aloud, as he carried two steaming plates over to the table.
"Yeah, except it's too crowded for all of us to squeeze around Misato's plant, so everyone go get your own presents and bring them over here."
There was a bit of holiday cheer as they tried to decide whose was whose, as the givers watched the receivers attempt to decide which present belonged to them without opening them. Rei's was not too hard to guess, as the red package was evidently Asuka's and the blue Shinji's. Shinji had made his overly easy by putting their names on their packages. Asuka's, however, were not color-coded and had no labels. Shinji, unfortunately, soon correctly guessed that his was a tape and decided that the other must belong to Rei, as Asuka had told them which was Misato's. None of them said anything about Misato's packages, leaving them where they were.
Asuka opened Rei's present first, to find a delicately crafted tree ornament, a glass flower made with different shades of pink. Shinji's was a snowflake of blue and white glass.
Shinji hurried to find his SDAT in order to listen to Asuka's tape while the two girls opened his presents. They received identical pendants, a delicate glass rose hanging on a gold chain. Parts of the charm had been dyed red and green to match the petals and leaves.
"Thank you for the picture frame, Pilot Sorhyu," Rei voiced, and Asuka could almost swear that she saw a hint of a smile grace Rei's face for a split second. "It is quite lovely."
"You're welcome," Asuka mumbled. "And thanks for your present too." She fastened Shinji's pendant around her neck. "And you, Shinji."
"It's nothing," Shinji mumbled. He appeared to be deeply entranced as he listened to the tape, and Asuka beamed.
Ritsuko didn't mind the idea of not going back to Misato's for Christmas Day lunch. In fact, she thought it was better this way, since Namika could be included in their celebration as well—there was no way that Namika was going to leave the hospital.
Kaji had purchased a large stack of festive plates and napkins, and now she spread these around the table while he placed a fork and knife at each place. They had chosen to eat in a small room off the corridor beside Namika's office, where staff parties were usually held. Maya, Shigeru, and Makoto were due to arrive any moment. They had extended an invitation to The Commander only out of duty, but he had not responded, and Ritsuko felt it safe to assume that he wouldn't show up.
She heard Maya calling her softly and turned around. "Come in and pick a place to sit."
The pilots followed the technicians in and seated themselves in a row. Kaji commented on Asuka and Rei's matching necklaces, and they informed him that they had been gifts from Shinji. Kaji pulled out a camera and snapped a picture of the two girls together, promising a copy to both after he got it developed.
Dr. Ishiyama was the last to show up, her hair disheveled and her eyes red from crying. Ritsuko welcomed her with a hug and made her to sit at the head of the table.
"None of us wanted to cook, so we ordered out," she explained apologetically.
Namika shook her head. "That's quite fine. It all looks very good."
"Well then, dig in."
They did, with only Kaji pausing to fill everyone's glasses. It would have been a good occasion to share a few cans of beer, but given the condition of the beer-lover who should have been with them that day, the adults deferred and settled on juice and water.
Shinji hadn't realized that he was so hungry. Days of not bothering to cook nor eat properly had taken their toll on him, but he hadn't noticed. The Third helped himself to large servings of everything in sight and ate hungrily.
Rei declined the turkey but accepted a large helping of mashed potatoes and rice. Asuka, like Shinji, ate freely.
Ritsuko was helping herself to another spoonful of rice when she noticed her colleague picking at her food. She responded by splashing a large spoonful of mashed potatoes into Namika's plate. The doctor looked up, startled, and began to protest, but was silenced by Ritsuko's firm "Just eat it."
She did, and Kaji took the opportunity to use his spoon to flick a few peas into her plate so that they landed neatly in the middle of her mashed potatoes.
"HEY!" Miki protested, but Kaji was laughing furiously now, and Ritsuko was joining in. The doctor retaliated by flinging her balled up napkin at him. It hit him in the eye, but didn't stop him from laughing. By now even Shinji was having a hard time trying to keep from laughing, and Asuka was giggling openly.
A sharp series of beeps silenced them all immediately. Namika jumped out of her chair and ran out of the room. Ritsuko did the same. Shinji and Asuka made to follow, but Kaji instructed them to sit down.
"Kaji!" Asuka protested.
He silenced her with a finger on her lips. Presently Ritsuko came hurrying back.
"She's awake."
How long have I slept? Three days? A week? Maybe years.
It certainly feels like it.
Somebody was shining a light in her eye, and Misato tried to turn her head away.
Somebody was repeating her name.
Somebody was holding her hand and patting it reassuringly.
Too much attention.
But she forced herself to adjust to it slowly, opening her eyes millimeter by millimeter, to see Namika leaning over her and Kaji behind the doctor. She recognized Ritsuko's voice.
Misato tried to speak and found that she couldn't.
"There's a tube in your throat right now," Miki told her. Her eyes were swollen and red as she addressed Misato. "We should have it out by the end of the day."
She closed her eyes and opened them once to show that she understood.
"Hey, Katsuragi." Kaji nodded to the doctor, who quickly moved aside. "Merry Christmas."
She couldn't begin to tell him how she felt…drained and empty, devoid of life. Nevertheless, she made an effort to nod when Kaji asked if she would like to see the three Children.
If she had been able to, she would have cried upon seeing the relief flood Shinji's face as he hurried to her side. Rei stayed behind him, waiting her turn to speak, while Asuka crossed the room to get to her other bedside. Kaji briefly disappeared and reappeared a moment later with the pilots' presents.
There was a moment of tension in which everyone was silent, wondering if Misato could open her own presents. The Major solved that problem herself—she would not let her kids down. She moved only one finger, but everyone understood that she wished to do it herself. Namika and Ritsuko moved some pillows around to help prop her up.
She opened Shinji's first, refusing to let anyone help her despite her obvious difficulties, and found a pendant that identical to those of Asuka and Rei. Ritsuko fastened it around her neck, and Maya sighed in delight and commented about the fact that this pendant was glass and wouldn't cause any problems. If Misato minded the remark, she gave no hints.
Rei's was packaged with super sticky tape and gave her some trouble, even after Kaji encouraged her to just rip it up instead of attempting to preserve the paper. A third Christmas tree ornament emerged after she pulled open the box with trembling fingers. This one was white, simple and delicate, an angel floating in midair with its wings and dress billowing behind.
She tried again to speak but failed.
Asuka's dress was still resting in its bag, and Misato drew it out slowly with effort before spreading it over her lap for everyone to admire. After everyone had done so and the females had touched the soft velvet, the Major motioned for a pen. Namika pulled out the notebook she normally used for giving prescriptions, along with a blue ink pen.
After unsuccessful several attempts, they all leaned forward to see what Misato had written: a simple, unpunctuated sentence.
I'll wear it the day I come home
Asuka fell asleep on Shinji's shoulder on the way home, and the latter received several "awwww!"s from other girls on the train. He blushed to himself, secretly being quite appreciative of the fact that Asuka was not awake to hear them.
The train rumbled to a stop, and Shinji gently shook her awake.
"Mm…don't want to go…"
The girls giggled hysterically and made Shinji blush even further as he tugged on Asuka's arm, muttering, "Come on!"
The cold air refreshed her a bit as they stepped out of the train station, and Asuka stretched her arms into the air and yawned before snapping them back into place and proclaiming that she hated the cold. Shinji smiled but said nothing. A few feet farther down the road, Asuka confided, "I'm really happy right now."
"I am too," Shinji admitted. "I feel like I could… run into that field and build a snowman and just… I don't know… roll in the snow."
He shook his head, still expecting Asuka to yell at him. Instead, she stopped in her tracks and waited for him to notice that she was no longer beside him.
"Why don't we?"
"Eh?"
"You said it yourself—why don't we go build a snowman and roll in the snow?"
"Because I've never built a snowman," Shinji mumbled, flustered now.
"That's not an excuse. Come on." She grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket and dragged him through the gates into the field, where she promptly pushed him over and began rolling him like a log through the snow.
"Stop it! mmph! Snow tastes… bad…"
Asuka giggled until she was hurting to let him stop, at which point he quickly took the opportunity to give her the same treatment.
"BAKA! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" she shouted, through mouthfuls of snow.
Shinji had never felt such exhilaration in his life as he let Asuka chase him around the field as she screamed out German and Japanese curses, both of them ducking and blinding hurling crudely made snowballs in the other's direction.
NERV did not print maps of its facilities. After all, they did not regularly entertain tourists in a building where 95 of its contents were top secret.
So Asuka had some trouble getting there. In the few times that she had come before, Shinji had led the way and she had been content to follow without paying any attention. Now, however, she was alone, and the Second came to quite a few dead ends before the automatic sliding doors came into view.
She didn't quite know where to go. A nurse clad in white approached her, bowing respectfully.
"Major Katsuragi is down this hallway, Pilot Sorhyu—"
"I'm not here to see Misato," she interjected. "I'm here to see Dr. Ishiyama."
"Oh." The nurse hesitated, a bit taken back. "Her room is the third on the left, down the back hallway—"
"Thanks."
And she was off, tucking a lock of shorn red hair behind her ear. Several nurses passed her with quizzical looks. Asuka made no reaction and came to the soundproof wooden door at last.
Dr. Namika Ishiyama
She knocked twice.
"Come in."
The doctor was surprised to see her. Ritsuko had warned her that the Second Child was not an easy one, and she braced herself mentally.
"Yes, Pilot Sorhyu?"
Asuka thought briefly about telling her that she preferred to be called by her first name and decided against it.
"I want to be tested, to see if I'm a match."
Namika did not blink. "Excuse me?"
Asuka sighed. "Look, it's pretty obvious by now that whatever therapy you've got Misato on isn't doing much good. Don't tell me it hasn't occurred to you that she needs a bone marrow transplant."
Even as nimble as she usually was, Namika was temporarily dumbfounded. The doctor rose from her swiveling chair, white lab coach swishing about her legs.
"The system of treatments being used on Major Katsuragi is none of your concern," she said coldly. "If she eventually needs a transplant, it is I who will make that decision."
"Fine," Asuka retorted. "But you really ought to see how much it's hurting Shinji Ikari to see Misato like this. And the very least you could do in return for all the times he's saved your life in Angel attacks—is to put forward 110 toward saving Misato."
The door closed behind her.
Author's Notes: The Christmas chapter, which I fortunately managed to finish before Christmas. Unfortunately, it's still about two months late. . Sorry guys.
This story started in summer and I'm planning to bring it around full circle and have it end in summer too, one year after Misato's diagnosis.
I got the German translations from an online translator and unfortunately don't know anybody who speaks fluent German, so I hope they're fairly accurate. In case they're extremely off, Asuka's box (the one she removes from Makoto Hyuga's car) is labeled "Souvenirs from Germany" and the shirt that Rei borrows reads "I am proud to be German".
Unfortunately, Quickedit seems to love stripping away all of my dividers. Does anyone know what can be used as dividers in Word that won't get stripped off as soon as I upload it? (Hopefully it's been fixed now, since I readded them in after uploading.)
I think that's all, beyond the fact that I really wish it would snow here.
Happy Thanksgiving all!
