Rules are rules, but . . .

Chapter 4

AN: Ok, in this story many things do not correspond to the manga or anime. Just act like you would know nothing else about Detective Conan, but the characters. What they do, think, and everything else, well, that´s my job! Thanks for the reviews!

Rule Nr. 4

Do not trust anyone, not even yourself.

She had given him a chance, and he still could not believe it.

Walking to his temporary home, he hummed a happy tune, kicking his soccer ball all the while. It made him strangely . . . proud.

He had worried for her for the longest time now, and yet he could not bring himself to go and tell her to open up and let someone in. After all, he was not doing it himself, and that with a person he loved.

Running up the steps to the detective agency he opened the door looking straight into the small kitchen. He saw her there, dressed in a blue knee-length skirt, a yellow blouse, a pink apron above. He heard her humming, the tune nothing like the deafening tune he used to hum, no, this one was . . . an image of Ai in the kitchen humming suddenly popped into his mind, making him chuckle with mirth.

,What´s so funny?¨ Ran asked smiling, making the small scene he was replaying in his mind shatter into pieces. Now why the hell had he been seeing that?

,Nothing.¨ He lied to her, something suddenly coming to his mind.

He lied. He consciously lied, and it was not the kind of lie where you first think to tell the truth and then opt for a lie, it was a lie, straight, no second thought about it.

,I´m going to stay over at Dr. Agase´s house for a while Ran, he needs me to help him with some of his experiments. ¨ Again, it had slipped out, so smoothly, like the way he used to lie to his parents when handling a case, but never had he lied to her, now he did not even notice it anymore.

She nodded at him, agreeing silently to whatever he wanted. She was cold suddenly, and she didn´t know why. She looked around and saw that Conan was gone, but the cold was there even before, it had been there for the last three weeks, but not like this. Never this . . . freezing.

Lying on her bed she closed her eyes, blocking out everything from the screeching noise of the old wood, to the soft rays of sun which filtered through the dark curtains.

For the first time in her life she felt empty. Truly empty.

She had never felt like this, something was always there to keep her from feeling this, this cold numbness. Every time she was sure to fall into the trap of her past she was held back. Her sister, the Organization, her duty to save her sisters life and then her own, and now she had been kept back by the wish to give Kudo his life back.

How had that changed?

You have your chance ...

She had given him the chance to gain her trust, and by gaining her trust he first had to do one thing . . . he had to prove he cared, prove that he cared not for the scientist who held the cure to his problem in his hands, but for the woman who had . . . who she was.

And he did. He did.

Now, she had no reason to hold back all the pain anymore, she could break down, not pretend that everything was ok, she could cry her eyes out and no one would laugh.

Tears . . . She felt them leave their eyes , roll down her cheeks, and yet on the inside she was numb, and she was cold.

What had he become? You are supposed to never lie to those you love, and he, he had not only done that, but he had done so much more, he had let his trust for her disappear. Not the circumstances were the ones who made him, he could have told her, like he had told Agasa, she was after all his best friend, the woman he loved, and yet he had chosen to keep it from her.

Her safety? Was it truly that? No, no, he could not hide behind that. There was nothing left to hide anymore. He was truly a hypocrite, preaching so often that the truth was the only thing which would never be able to go unnoticed, and yet, he had not noticed he was doing just that.

,Hey Shinichi-kun what are you doing here?¨ The Prof. suddenly asked him, closing the door after him.

,I´m going to stay here for a while, I hope you don´t mind.¨ Conan replied without even looking up at the Prof., his eyes instantly going to the laboratory door.

,She´s been in her room, although I first suspected the lab as well.¨

Conan looked up at him, his eyes curious and confused, but thanking the Prof. with a curt nod, he went up the stairs, knocking on Ai´s door, but getting no response, he opened it.

She was lying there, her arms outstretched like she was flying, and as silly as it was it reminded him of Kate Winslet in Titanic, a movie he before considered rubbish. Now, he would rethink at least that scene.

Her legs were dangling down the side of the bed, her black Capri´s showing off her slim legs, making him gulp when he realized just how long they were. She should play soccer, he thought with a smile, his eyes suddenly coming up to her serene face, a face he had never seen.

She was crying. Tears were flowing freely, but no muscle would move. Then he noticed them, the finer details. The way her eyelids fluttered , her lips were a slightly open, her hands looking as if they were in pain, her chest rising and falling rapidly, goose-bumps forming on her arms.

Walking closer to her, he made no sound, dared not even breath as he saw the way she looked, so . . . ethereal, so complete, so full of . . . of what? Sadness, pain, maybe, solitude?

Touching one of her hands gently with his, she immediately opened her eyes, looking to him.

She woke to the warm feeling racing up her arm enveloping her whole body, making her eyes lock onto Kudo´s. Neither of them felt the cold which seemed to be in the room, all they felt was the warmth which kept them together.

,Why ... why were you crying?¨ His question was so soft she would have almost missed it, but no, she heard it well, and suddenly the dam of her countenance broke, and she cried. She buried her face into his chest, clinging to him for dear life, letting everything out, once and for all.

All he could do was hold her, hold her to him, knowing that sometime after she would have no more tears left, he would tell her his troubles, and then, they could mope around in this room together.

Stroking her back in comforting patterns, he buried his face in her hair, holding her close to him, liking the way the sun danced through the room.

There was no cold. Not between them.

Trust is not only a gift, but also a choice.

And they had made the right choice braking that iron rule.