A/N: Realized have made mistake with the year... it's supposed to be the year 1995, not 1996.
July 20, 1995
125lbs (is all aftermath of lovely shag), hair colour Brown, hair style Wild Post-Shag Twist, no. of times overjoiced at sight of naked Remus under covers 9 (must calm as is quite shallow of self to be studying exposed figure when vulnerable in sleep), chocolate frog units 0 (hurrah!)
8:00am, Own Flat
Hurrah! Am no longer tragic spinster! The wilderness days are over. Am now official girlfriend of Mr. Lupin for 4 weeks! Actually, no. Nobody really knows except for the two of us. Actually, bit scared to tell Sirius or mum. Not sure how she'd react to my wild shags with man 10 years my senior. Mm… surely will not have to deal with this until… until get married.
No, no. Must not fantasize.
Oooh, but is hard. V. hard when Remus is here, tucked in and all, light brown forelocks casting shadows over his closed eyes… Sigh. Think will continue staring at him.
Mm, he twitched again. Apparently is v. twitchy when sleeping. Wonder what he's dreaming about?
Surely not our marriage? Ahem. No, must not fantasize. Oh! Twitched again. Eyelids flustered a bit, too.
Wonder how Remus would make as father. To children, that is, not self, or would be twisted and deranged, indeed. Mmm…
GAAAAAAAAAH!
8:30am, Kitchen
Was bloody Lupin, bolting up on bed, shouting tiredly, "'PHADORA, WILL – YOU – STOP – BLOODY – STARING – AT – ME – WHEN – I'M – TRYING – TO – SLEEP." Then he plops back on the bed and promptly falls back asleep.
Hmph, heavy sleeper, that one.
Miserable old bat.
8:40am, Kitchen
Oh, but a lovable old bat. Realized was own fault. Shall stop bothering him when he needs sleep. Have noticed that lately looking v. taunt. Remus, that is.
I know! Will make Lupin some breakfast. Marmalade toast and eggs and... pancakes! Yes, fantastic!
8:50am
Mm… apparently am out of milk.
8:55am
Surely can just add a bit of water. Yes.
9:30am
Hurrah! Am kitchen goddess! Divine Nymph (har har, pun) of Fancy Breakfasts.
11:00am, Ministry Office
Hmph. Apparently eggs did not go well as planned. Remus came in kitchen with sheepish smile and apologized for screaming at me when stared at him in manner of Sirius when he sees a veela earlier on. Sigh! Sat him down and told him cooked him breakfast. There started to go wrong. Instead of looking pleased, Remus had look of alarm on face.
"What's wrong?" I said suspiciously.
"What? Oh, nothing, nothing," he muttered, trying to sound nonchalant. "It's very nice of you to make breakfast, Tonks." He grinned –genuinely- as he spoke my name. Was rare when he used "Tonks" instead of dreaded "Nymphadora". He kisses my nose and grabs a marmalade toast, some eggs, and bacon. Before could say "alohamora" he choked and quickly reached for coffee mug. Except, forgot had placed vegetable oil in coffee mug when could not find any other container. And when suddenly remembered, was too late. Remus had already swallowed a gulp full of vegetable oil. More gagging, ran around kitchen looking for various assortments of medicine. Was not really sure what to do. Perform a quick spell to make the oil in his stomach disappear? But that might be dangerous as could have taken out entire stomach.
Anyway Remus threw up after that, which made both me and him late for work, and notably flustered. Gah! Cannot do anything. Am useless frumpy old witch.
1:00, Office
Just received owl. Was Lupin telling me he was OK. Was v. sweet, actually. Told me not to worry. Also told me would be another Meeting tonight. Mmm… love having boyfriend. Lov- Ok, really like Lupin….
Despite his v. alarming manner of folding up boxers before going to sleep, and the way he likes to –er- well, nevermind.
Sigh…
Anyway, am going to write owl back to Lupin.
1:30pm, Office
Another owl! Maybe is Remus! Though, that was rather fast.
1:40pm
Oh. Right. Was Sirius:
My dearest cousin Nymphadora,
I write to you in such an earnesty and urgency… Oh bloody hell don't even know if 'earnesty' is a word. In case you were wondering I was attempting the diplomatic language of Mr. Remus Lupin. Actually, I'm not sure how he manages to be "loquacious' and 'laconic' at the same time.
Here paused and found self smiling. Would not be surprised if he 'borrowed' those words from someone else who was describing Remus. Felt sudden surge of pride.
Okay, I admit it. I know you're probably sitting there smiling idiotically. Okay, so it was Hermoine –one of Harry's friends- who actually used those words, but really, I was about to use the same words myself!
Anyway, I'm writing because… I'm just… it's gets rather lonely here in this miserable old dung nest. I wish my name's cleared already so I can fight, you know? Not sitting here, in this.. this… this hellhole listening to my stupid ogre of a mother bawling and cursing me and my friends and you and your mother. Jesus Christ I think I'm going to become barny if I'm here any longer. I feel rather… dead in here, you know? THAT STUPID BITCH I WILL PERMANENTLY REMOVE HER FROM THIS GALAXY AND THE NEXT IF SHE'S NOT GOING TO SHUT UP THIS INSTANT.
Har. Shall write back saying have always thought he was a bit on the batty side.
1:43pm
Although was a bit risky of him to just… send me an owl with details such as this when am working at Ministry?
Oh god. Just re-read whole thing.
He's not OK, is he?
1:45pm
Oh god, oh god. Feeling really guilty and bad now. Poor Sirius, will make sure that from now on shall visit him 7 days a week. OK -5 days a week, at least. Must be really depressing. In fact, think shall leave work early today to cheer him up a bit. He is, after all, my only family –except for mum and dad, who became a bit loony over the years- who isn't fixed on cursing me to v. firey pits deep down yonder. Yes, yes.
OK. Realize that wasn't the nicest thing to say about parents. Love them and everything but mum is really odd.
1:47pm
Wish Sirius would find better bird, though. Finally gotten good look at bird, is bloody tropical… canary or something of that sort. Nearly bit fingers off. Think will have little chat with Sirius and proper owling etiquette when go visit him later.
2:30pm, Old Grimmauld's Place
Bloody curtain v. stubborn and refuse to close. Can't Dumbledore do something about her? I mean, he's on the chocolate frog cards, isn't he?
2:40pm
Ah. Apparently was not only person Sirius owled. Crossed dark, gloomy hallway into living room and found 4 people sitting, looking at each other incredulously.
"Mum?" I said, voice two notches higher than usual, "What are you doing here, Mum?"
"Darling! How are you!" she projected, "Well, what do you expect? Sirius wrote to me broken-heartedly… well, actually, it was rather odd, some sort of ostrich showed up at our doorsteps… the neighbours were really quite disturbed! But anyway, and I thought perhaps he needed a bit of family company! Like an reunion, that would be nifty, wouldn't you think?"
Before could speak, was interrupted by Moody.
"He sent some loony parrot after you, too?" Growled Moody.
"Er…" I said, pausing while looking around, "No, a canary."
Moody gave a low, dry laugh, which eventually turned into cough.
"Full of ideas, that one, Black," Professor McGonagall chipped in, voice dripping with sarcasm. Oh dear, oh dear. Things not going too well, are they?
Hmm… could see why I would come seeing am, after all, cousin; but why is Moody and McGonagall here? Not to mention Mrs. Weasley. Thought she despised Sirius?
"Er, well, where is Sirius?" I said, bit hesitantly.
"Right here, cousin!" rang a cheerful voice. Was Sirius waltzing in, wand in hand with several mugs hovering in midair. "And you do realize that a canary is a small yellow finch, don't you?"
Hmph. Bloody cheek. "Of course I do!" I hissed weakly. Was attempting to look smooth and cool about it by quickly reaching over to take mug in manner of Lockhart before he went all loony. Before could reach mug, however, Mum flies out of her seat, screaming at sight of Kreacher, knocks straight into Sirius, who drops his wand in surprise and contents of mug is dumped on self.
5:00pm
Oh God. Is bloody nightmare. Am forced to speak to Mum and Moody and McGonagall and Mrs. Weasley. Mind you, Mrs. Weasley makes a mean parfait, but find self v. intimidated by her presence. Maybe should have been more careful about running into doors, cabinets, etc as had been breaking her plates. Why is Remus not here yet? Surely first on list on Sirius' letters is Remus?
Oh wait. Forgot. They're still not talking, playing their silly game.
Anyway, meeting's about to start. Better go.
5:50pm
Regular meeting. Shaklebolt delivers usual speech (bloody cheek), Sirius sat there without speaking much –though, must say, looked more cheerful than last time. Still not speaking to Remus, though. Wonder how long it'll keep up? Mean, it has been 4 weeks. Maybe should stick both in silence-charmed room to, you know, make them bond and all that bit.
Anyway during meeting kept trying to send subliminal messages to Dumbledore. Do not think have ounce of divination powers in self, as had came off twitching left eye madly instead of actually getting messages across –asking him if could look after Harry. Did not really want to say it during meeting as everyone was talking fluently about updates on Death Eater movements, development plans, etc, and know Harry has lots to do with the Phoenix, but is really rather personal since am doing it for Sirius, who shot glances at self constantly throughout the meeting. So, thought, after meeting would go straight to Dumbledore! But, blast it, bloody Dumbledore promptly left after meeting.
Gah! Hasn't he got my owls???
So am sitting here in some odd, spare room, thinking what to do about Harry-Sirius-Remus dilemma. Surely…?
6:30pm
Was Remus. Sneaked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, saying laughingly, "Mmm… what's that smell?"
Began to say something in defense when suddenly Remus lets out strange ogling sound and murmurs, "Let's go back to your flat."
"Mmm…" I say as he starts pulling me toward him, and chatter nonchalantly, "How about your place? Never been to your house…"
He grins and say, "Nah, your place would be better suited."
Though a bit disappointed, as had really hoped could see what kind of place he lived, etc, I joke, "What, have you got a secret there you haven't told me about?"
Could see his face pale slightly. "What's wrong?"
He recovered and said, "Nothing. Come on, let's go to your flat."
Suddenly became a bit annoyed. I mean, why can't I go to his house? We've been together for 4 weeks and hardly ever went to his place! Actually, come to think of it, never did. Pull self away and said a bit defiantly, "Why can't we go see your house for once?"
Sighing, he said, "I don't think you'll like it there very much. It's very dull and… not very pleasant. Come on, let's go to your place."
"Why? Why can't we visit your house? We've been going out for 4 weeks! And I haven't seen your house once. Once. Do you have some deep, kept-away secret you're hiding from me or something?" I snap a bit harshly than had planned.
Suddenly Remus went all quiet. Was rather frightening as none of us spoke and just stood there, frozen in spot, waiting. Finally could not stand it anymore and asked, "What's wrong?"
He paused a bit before saying, "I don't like shouting."
"Oh." Well, was not much for me to say, was there? Without another word he led me downstairs, out of the gloomy house, and Knight Bus came.
7:00pm, Remus's
Er… is very… v. interesting place. Can understand why Remus wouldn't want er… people to stay here, but am not about to admit this. Anyway everything v. dark and morbid here.
7:10pm, study
Right. Remus told me to stay here while he went to make some food. Said this is the room that's most cheery-looking. Actually, this place not a lot better than Grimmauld's… except smaller, no scary dark-arts statues and no Kreacher or, come to think of it, Mrs. Black.
Sigh. Looks like needs a good clean up.
I know! Will sort this room out in no time!
7:20pm
Stark table… gloomy fireplace… cannot believe it- is dungeon in here. Erm… no, no. Is perfectly normal. In fact, remember that the Blacks had dungeon as well!
Though… was used for… oh god.
No, will not peek. Will respect Remus's privacy.
Maybe… will just… see if it needs some cleaning!
7:23pm, Dungeon
Oh my god. Oh my GOD.
Is chains in here. Chains. What's that dark stuff?
What is Remus doing while he's here? Surely not some… scary… animalistic ritual?
Oh my god.
7:50pm
Am having dinner with Remus. Was trying not to pry... unsuccessfully.
"So, I heard one of the Weasley brothers –oh, who was it now, Charlie? Bill? Well anyway one of them was checking a dungeon in Gringotts and found this old skeleton that has been dead for over five centuries! And then –you can imagine what a shock it was, the skeleton started talking to him!" I trilled, emphasizing on the word "dungeon" quite a bit.
Apparently Remus did not catch it. "No, I cannot imagine –was it enchanted then, the skeleton?"
Hmph. "Oh, I don't know. But, anyway, I think dungeons are absolutely dreadful, don't you?"
"Yes," he said, "yes they are." And reached his glass of wine and finished its contents. "So! Ready for bed?"
Oh! Forget dungeons, is Remus inviting me to bed! Grinned and followed him upstairs. Started snogging like mad once over last step of rather creaky stairs.
I said teasingly, "Let me guess which room's yours…" Fumbled with each other's clothes for a while as we trudged along the corridor, "This one!" I announced proudly.
"Very, very good!" He said, "I think you deserve a… shall I say… reward…?" Mmm… cheeky thing, so suggestive. Mmm… Remus v. good at making me squirm. He was growling in ear softly when I pushed door open and screamed.
There it was. A stark naked Severus Snape tucked neatly in Remus's bed, a mocking smile on his lips.
Stared at him, then threw Lupin's hands off my back and flew down the stairs and out of the house.
Fuck, fuck, fuckitty fuck. Spinsterhood here I come.
A/N: Oh god. Sorry for the lack of updates. Finals are here. Anyway, sorry this chapter was rather sucky. Could not gather ideas and… became rather long and… draggy. Bah! Apologize.
