A/N: Har har, yes! I update! Sorry, finals finally over! Well, almost, anyway. Only Latin left! Anyhow, most of you are probably cursing me on making Snape furtively sneaking into Remus's bed, but not to worry! Have explanation. Hehe.. um… read on!

July 21, 1995

1,935lbs (most convenient, as now if Shaklebolt shows up will tell him am unable to shift my legs due to massive weight gain. Actually, don't have scale and latest news too horrible to bear), hair colour (no longer care), hair style (bald, had morphed into hideous creature after… after… oh sod it, will go have more chocolate frogs), no. of times dumped water on head to convince self is all dream 9, no. of times sat gazing into nothingness: countless, no. of times attempted to make self man: 7 (alarming, but it makes me strangely smug. So am now man after all), butterbeer units 7 (understandable), chocolate frog units 34 (disastrous)

9:30am, own flat

Head have cleared up somewhat as had just taken medicine. Yesterday when got home ran into door in madness/rage/hurt and was knocked out cold. Woke up on floor shivering. At first did not realize what was going on. Why wasn't I snuggled up against Remus? Then remembered night before. Oh god, oh god. No. Nooo. Oh god. Am doomed.

No. Will approach situation like normal adult. Poise, poise!

Doom. Dooooooom.

Why?

Why am I doomed to forever live life as tragic spinster. Would have taken news better if had been beautifully exotic women with breasts size of my stomach, but… but…

Snape?

Oh god, oh god. Cannot cope. Will go eat more chocolate frogs. Maybe will fill tub with butterbeer and drown self in it.

9:55am, own flat

Jesus Christ, why me? Butterbeer.

10:50am

Hurrr… hurrr… is all joke… hurrhurr… what's this? Why there blurry dropinsg falling out of cieling? Mm… brrrbeer v. goo. Evrything fine… am poise man… oops, woman.

2:30pm, tub

Oh god. Must stop doing this to self. Woke up in bloody tub, quill is drenched. Is good thing charmed bloody diary waterproof.

2:50pm, bed

God. Cannot believe Remus. What was he thinking?

Was that what the chains were for? Jesus Christ.

How come am doomed to be spinster and have rapist/take-pleasure-in-extreme-pain-during-sex boyfriend? Just when thought he was… normal and caring, this happens.

2:55pm

GAAAAAAAAH!

Merlin's beard. Was owl impaling itself into my window.

3:00pm

… There goes another one.

3:10pm

Hmph. Turns out owl from Lupin. See, realized from self-help book that must confront problem, so, will now refer to Lupin as Snape's Sex. So! Owl from Snape's Sex. Snape's Sex sent a letter through Snape's Sex's owl, which is not actually Snape's Sex's. Read little note that read "Remus" (Snape's Sex), promptly set letter from Snape's Sex on fire and chucked Snape's Sex's owl out of window. How dare Snape's Sex- Oh, Jesus Christ. This confronting tactic not working.

Will change to different approach.

I know! Chocolate frogs.

3:15pm

Am actually enjoying this in sick, twisted way.

Owls impaling selves against window, that is, not Snape's Sex –Fuck. Forgot. Different tactic.

3:25pm

And another one. Refuse to give Sn- Him satisfaction of knowing how am feeling/did feel/continue to feel. Refuse to… have anything to do with… Him. Will survive on self, will strive to find innermost poise.

3:30pm

Okay. Found nickname for him. Since is fool, shall call Him Dupe, however since in his name is a "—PIN" part, will call Him Dupin.

3:40pm

HA! You see, Dupin, am over you. OOOVVEERR YOU! LAUGH AT YOUR OWLS. LAUGH. LAUGH.

Oh bloody hell, will pretend no longer. Feel like crying. How could he?

4:40pm
Fucking hell. Just got another one from Sirius. Jesus. He's in it, too? Refuse to read it. Refuse. So they're on speaking terms, are they?

Bloody cheeks.

5:40pm, bed

Bloody owls still coming at window regularly. DO NOT WANT EXCUSES/EXPLANATIONS FROM YOU! AM DONE! HAVE POISE! WILL NOT LET YOUR LETTERS RUIN SELF INNER POISE THAT-

July 22, 1995

0lbs (sudden loss of weight alarming, actually don't have scale again and amount of shag was… shocking), hair colour Brown, no. of times assured self everything was alright 2 (v.g.)

Anyway. Realize need some explanation. So will write where last left off:

Was Remus.

Apparated into my flat, said he had no other option. Said he tried to send me owls but each time he sent them they come back more battered looking. Said he knew how must feel right now. Said he was sorry.

Sat there, said nothing in reply.

"Tonks! Are you listening?" Remus said, tone louder than before.

"Yes," I said quietly. Mean, what am I supposed to say? No problem, in fact will join your nasty, sick little fantasies with Snape? My arse!

"Tonks…" he said softly, "Let me explain. Please."

Finally could not contain self any longer. Started screaming like madman. "EXPLAIN? EXPLAIN, REMUS? I SEE CHAINS IN YOUR DUNGEON. DUNGEON. WE NEVER GO TO YOUR HOUSE. I SEE BLOODY PROFESSOR FUCKING SNAPE ON YOUR BED. NAKED. SMILING AT ME LIKE HE JUST HAD THE WILDEST, MOST FANTASTIC SHAG HE HAS HAD IN HIS LIFE!"

However instead of looking regretful and smug as had thought he would, he looked embarrassed.

"Tonks, it was-"

"What? A one night stand?" I hissed.

"No, it was…"

"Love at first sight? Lust at first night? SEX IN LUBRICATED TIGHTS?" Realized went a little crazy with rhyming. Then Remus started laughing, and got really annoyed. Mean, how dare he laugh at me?

"GET OUT OF MY FLAT BEFORE I HEX YOU, YOU BLOODY… SICK…" I let out a grunt and yell of desperation. Suddenly he got serious again.

"Tonks, listen to me!"

"NO!" I cried indignantly

"You don't understand –"

"What's there to understand?" Was on real spin shouting again. Could see Remus flinching. Raised tone louder. "You sleep with another man while dating me! You.. you..." Was really struggling for words then. In frustration let out a simple hex slip out of lips just as Remus spoke again.

"Tonks, it was a boggart."

"-probably had sex with him multiple times and…" paused there. "What did you say?"

He grunted.

Thought was some sort of... strange neanderthal talk. He flailed his arms about and mumbled something again. Stood there looking at here dumbfoldedly.

Oh. Right. The hex.

Ah. "Sorry." I said, out of habit. Was struggling for words again. Boggart? "Why did it show Snape in your bed, then?" I demanded.

Remus looked embarrassed again, "Um. Well, do you know the nature of boggarts, Nymphadora?"

Oh god. Oh jesus. So was own fault all along? Knew had fear of Snape and of boyfriend being with someone else, but… oh god. No wonder Remus looked embarrassed. Felt face going hot and red.

"Yes, yes," I said hastily. Then added, triumphantly, "What about the chains then?"

He paused again, as if attempting to string words together, then finally, said, "I'm a werewolf."

"Oh," was all could manage.

Not that had anything against him now knowing is werewolf, but just fact that… a werewolf. Know, actually read, how hard it is to transform and all that. No wonder he always looked so tired.

Was silent for some moment, then Remus said, looking at the floor, "Well, I guess I should go. Now that you know what I am, you probably don't want anything to do with me anymore. I don't blame you." He turned around and began to leave.

"WAIT!" Suddenly heard self saying. What was I doing? Do I really believe bloody boggart tale? Ran up to him and said, "You think I don't want you anymore because you're a werewolf?"

He looked at me, surprised, "I understand completely, Tonks."

"No," I grinned, "No, you don't. I… I like you just the way you are, werewolf or not."

He gaped at me for a few seconds, then took me in arms and kissed me. Was v. passionate, actually. Thought was going to die from oxygen. Then he… hugged me and murmured into my neck, "I love you, Nymphadora."

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. He loved me. He loved me!!!!

Must not fantasize. Anyway thoughts were interrupted.

"So you're really afraid of Snape, then?" He teased as we stumbled our way toward bed.

"Um… er… ahhh…" pretended to say something inaudible into his lips.

"Mmm?" He said idly as opened bedroom door. Thank god is no boggart in my flat.

"Let's not get into that," I comment quickly.

"No, no. I think we should," He said lightheartedly, grinning as he kissed me again.

"Or… mm… you can show me some of your… werewolf tendencies in bed…" I murmured against his soft lips.

A/N: HA! Managed to fit… argh, really bad at writing 'romantic' scenes. Erm, realize Mark Darcy, thus Remus, should have been one saying "I like you just the way you are", but Remus looking so dejected (in my mind, anyway) that really had to stick that phrase in. Anyway, what do you think? Review!