The Way We Were (revised)

Summary: Grissom and Sara's tempers flare, but the truth may hurt more than they thought.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: Nope despite a rewrite, I still don't own them

Pairing: Grissom and Sara

Spoilers: Up to and including Nesting Dolls is fair game

A/N: A new chapter! Thanks for the reviews, they are very greatly appreciated. I don't actually know if Sara has a dimple in her left cheek, but she does now!

"Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you."

Chapter 3

He had just made the fastest decision of his life.

After seeing her walking out of the building, so reminiscent of him only a few years ago. He decided that she wasn't going to be like him, he would be damned if she would allow herself to be confined to her torments the way that he had done to himself. If there was one thing he could do for her, it was going to be this.

He ran out to the car park, determined to catch her before she left, preferring the face to face contact over asking her over the phone, at least this way she couldn't hang up on him. Running to her car, he knocked on her window.

And scared the living daylights out of her.

"Jesus Christ! Grissom!" She yelped, winding down her window

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I just wanted to catch you before you left"

"And scaring me to death was just an added bonus?" she chided, half-smiling. He loved it when she smiled, not only because momentarily he got to see her cheeky side. But it was because when she smiled, her entire face lit up. She was one of those people, that when they smile, make it seem like nothing else matters in the world, but for the fact that for that one moment, you are able to share in that moment of happiness, and receive a gift of contentment that you can't bear to let go. She didn't only smile with her mouth, but with the twinkle in her eyes, the slight dimple in her left cheek, the way it only curled when she really smiled, had Grissom intoxicated.

"Yeah I guess"

"So what did you want?"

"Um…oh yeah, I think we need to talk" her hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. She had tried to keep the conversation light and professional and make a quick exit.

"Uh…No, I'm uh really tired, I just want to go home and get some sleep"

"Sara, I really think we should talk"

"Because it went so well last time" her mouth spat out before she could even think to stop it. She sighed closing her eyes, 'well that was stupid' she thought.

Her words hurt him. She had the unforgiving power to do that. To hurt him. He was determined that he wasn't going to let her run away again, not before he sorted this out.

"That's why we need to talk" she sighed resignedly, her head slightly shaking. She wasn't getting out of this. She rolled her eyes,

"When and where?"

"Well, you said that you're tired so how about I follow you to your place, and after we talk you can go straight to bed?" she was momentarily startled by his thoughtfulness, but passed it off, slapping her sunglasses on.

"Fine, see you soon" she sped home, determined to not have his presence in her rear view mirror, reminding her of what awaited when she got home. She decided that she would forget, for twenty minutes anyway, and turned up the radio for the fourth time.


She wasn't expecting him so early; she had just begun pouring herself a cup of tea when she heard the soft rasping at her door.

"Its open" she called. She heard him shuffle into her home, gently closing the door behind him.

"Did you want anything?" she asked, walking out to meet him.

"No thanks"

"Sara, I'm sorry, I don't know how else to say it." He stood, his hands in his pockets

"I love you. Those three words have my life in them."

Her eyes didn't soften, her mouth turned grim. Her eyes flashed with pain, then sadness, then anger. "You've got to be kidding! Christ, you just don't get it. You don't do this to people Grissom" she threw the cup against the wall, the tea splashing against its surface, slowly trickling down, like the tears she wanted to be able to let go.

"Why now? Why? I don't fucking understand Grissom! I have lived with this for five years Grissom" her voice etched with pain. "You can give me all the sorry's you want. It still hurts, and I…I don't know how to stop it from hurting" Her face broke, her breathing hitched in her throat,

"It never stops hurting, no matter how much I hate and try to hurt you, it's always there. In the pit of my stomach, it eats me up inside Gil. When I see you, when I hear you, this pain wraps itself around me, it burns over me. Knowing that we can never be together. What do you want from me? What are you so God damned afraid of!"

"I'm afraid of you! Of the power that you have to hurt me Sara. Jesus, you don't see it do you? Real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. And I'm so scared, because you are my breath of life Sara, when I screw this up, and you leave, I'll suffocate. I won't know how to live without you, and" he shook his head, staring at the floor.

"I just wanted you to know, so that you didn't think that it was only you. I won't do it Sara. I can't" he looked at her, pressing his hand to his forehead

"It's too hard Sara"

"No one said it would be easy" she breathed

"No one said it would be this hard"

TBC