The Way We Were (revised)
Summary: Grissom and Sara's tempers flare, but the truth may hurt more than they thought.
Rating:
T ( Some language)
Disclaimer: Nope despite a rewrite, I still don't own them
Pairing: Grissom and Sara
Spoilers: Up to and including Nesting Dolls is fair game
A/N: Very long time between drinks, sorry folks! Reviews are greatly appreciated, and thankyou to all those who have left reviews so far.
"I love you
Not
only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you"
"No one ever said it would be this hard"
Pain flickered in her eyes. Of course that would be what he would say. It was an out. An easy way out. She tapped her fingers against her hip, feeling the fabric of her shirt absently, its softness. Rubbing her fingers through her hair, she lamented not knowing how to do this, she didn't know how to explain it to him, how to explain anything to him. It was never supposed to be this difficult, after 'I love you' nothing else was supposed to matter, save for the fact that they were in love. They were supposed to dance and smile and make love all through the night.
"Fine Grissom, you go through life, take this easy way out, again, like you always do. Because not even trying is so easy. To say that it's too hard, that you're scared even before trying. Fine, you go through your life like that, and see where you are. Don't come back to me in twenty years, still alone because you couldn't take a chance… a chance on me, on us." "After all of this Sara, I don't understand. Something I have never understood. Why do you still love me?"
Only Grissom could ask her to explain love. He had to ask the difficult questions. How do you explain love? How do explain the feeling that when he walked into a room, she could think of nothing else but how his arms would feel around her waist, what his mouth would taste like, and in another moment rip the fantasies from her heart with a knife, leaving a gaping hole in her life.
"I love you because…because if I know what love is, it's because of you. You taught me what it was like to feel love, if only for a little while" her gaze swept to the floor, unable to meet the challenge in his eyes.
"I never thought I would have to tell you like this" she mused bitterly. "I never thought that this is it would be. I guess the romantic in me thought that it would happen after dinner at a nice restaurant, flowers and chocolate" her eyes were lost in the fantasies "at least now I can't accuse you of being clueless" she added darkly.
"What do we do now?" he questioned
"How should I know? What am I, the fucking expert?" anger panged through her heart like an electric shock coursing through her body. She didn't get it. She didn't get this man. He was ending it, forever, right here and now, and then had the audacity to ask what they were supposed to do.
"I don't want to leave"
"Why?" she pleaded
"Because I was comfortable inside my shell, but it has become my hell, alone. Because this is where I belong" she stalked over to him, pointing her finger in his face, anger engraved across her soft features.
"You just stood there and told me that I wasn't worth it. You stood here, I stood there" she gestured "That it was too hard. So fucking leave Grissom! Get the fuck out! I'm tired of being your Yo-Yo that you whip out whenever you need a little ego boost. Just…just…go" he grabbed her arms, wrapping them around him.
"No Grissom let me go, God damn it!" she squirmed, valiantly trying to get away from him, but his body was too big, too strong.
"Dammit Sara, I'm sorry. I need you to feel this. This is what I want feel all the time" she resigned herself, and slumped in his grip, feeling a monotone beat in the distances of her mind
"Do you feel it?" he breathed
"What"
He manoeuvred her hand to his heart, and then placed her other hand on her hand. Two hearts beating in synchrony.
"Does this change anything?" she questioned
"I know I don't deserve your trust. But, on reflection, one of the things I think I needed to learn was to allow myself to be loved. I didn't think that you would still love me after everything that I have done. I wanted you to be free…from me" he looked toward the floor, desperate to feel every inch of her body against his. Her protection, her warmth seeped into every part of him filling him with her beauty. She lifted his chin, his eyes to meet hers. A smile started at the side of her lips.
"This was how it was supposed to be" she cradled his head in her hands, meeting his lips with her own, soothing him, pouring her soul to him through the kiss.
He had said to her that his love had his life in it. Now, when she said 'I love you', those three words had her life in them.
The End.
"I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever."
