Half Metal Panic!

by Lord Raa

Prologue


Disclaim-me-do: What? Where I am now? Who are you people? What are you doing in my house? Where are my clothes? Why am I naked and sticky? Have I been raped by a jar of clear honey? Again?
Captain Testarossa sat at her desk looking at the latest report concerning the "Whispered" project. It seemed that this latest test subject to come to Mithril's attention was a young male currently residing in Nerima. Looking at his photograph, the young captain was taken in by his features.

"He's cute. I hope that the team I assigned can keep him safe, what with all those that would try to harm him."


Back in Nerima, Ranma Saotome sneezed.

This was enough distraction for his father to utilise a sneak attack and dunk him in the Tendo's koi pond. "Damn," she cursed

"That should teach you to pay attention in a fight, boy."

"So it's a beating you want is it Pops," the red head asked in a dangerous tone.

Genma backed off slightly as he noticed the look in his child's eyes. But before he could run off to safet- er move to a better fighting position, Ranma had closed the distance and started pounding the blubbery martial artist.

Nabiki had come down the stairs for breakfast, pausing to grumble internally about noisy, overly-energetic fools she sat down for her morning meal.

Ranma walked back into the house with smile on her features. "Good morning Nabiki. Good morning Kasumi."

"Good morning Ranma-kun," Kasumi returned. She handed Ranma a kettle of hot water, which tragically contained only enough to change Ranma.

Nabiki shot Ranma a glare which quickly softened when she saw the state of Genma. "Good morning Ranma. I see that you are keeping up with your practice."

"Oh yes, I've got to stay in shape. It wouldn't do for me to get lardy like pops," Ranma joked.

Hey! a poorly written sign protested. Pandas are supposed to be this shape.

"Yeah, but not people, Pops," Ranma pointed out as he dodged a wooden sign.

Akane returned from her morning jog. "Stop fighting at the table Ranma!"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Tell that to Pops."

Kasumi shot the panda a look of disapproval. When the hairy beast shuddered and bowed its head in apology, Kasumi's normal cheery smile returned.


After a calm and relaxed meal, Ranma walked to school with his fiancée and soon to be sister-in-law. Ranma was engaging in pleasant small talk with the Tendos, managing not to insult anybody. Well, this was Ranma, so the conversation wasn't exactly sparkling.

Upon reaching the gates, Kuno made his appearence.

"Akane Tendo, why do you continue to tolerate the presence of the foul sorcerer when you can bask in my gloriousness?"

Nabiki laughed at Kuno's pomposity while Ranma scratched his head.

"Ya wot?"

Kuno puffed out his chest in a display of arrogance that rivaled the "I'm Ranma Satome, and I don't lose" speech. "See, the cretin is as inarticulate as ever. Compared to my fine mastery of language, he is but a savage."

Ranma took offence at that. "I might have had a patchy education compared to you, but I can still whoop your ass, Blue Blunder!"

"That's Blue Thunder! And you just proved my point about your intellect."

"And I'm about to prove mine, moron."

With that, Ranma rushed forward and gave Kuno a knuckle sandwich.

Standing over the semi-conscious kendoist, Ranma spoke slowly, as if it were Kuno were a child. "Why do you keep challenging me? You haven't improved since I got here, Akane doesn't like you, the pigtailed girl doesn't like you. In fact, nobody likes you."

"Lies" was all Kuno could manage before he felt that a nap would be a good idea.


At the start of the school day, the teacher introduced their new classmate.

"Hello, this is Kaname Chidori. She'll be joining us for the rest of the school year. Miss Chidori, if you'll introduce yourself."

The buxom young blue haired girl bowed to the class. "Hello my name is Kaname Chidori. My interests include sports, music and reading. My favourite genre is thrillers, especially political and cold war spy stories."

Akane and Ukyo relaxed as Ranma and the new girl seemed oblivious to each other's existance. It wouldn't do for another fiancée to show up.

Ranma barely paid the new arrival attention, knowing that just looking at her would upset his fiancées. Luckily for him, Kaname was seated at the other end of the classroom, but that still left him with the feeling that something was going to happen very soon.


To be continued...

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

What kind of nasty man would do this to you guys? I mean, just leaving this as a teaser with who knows what planned for this fic?

FYI: This is a messed up Full Metal Panic timeline, but the Ranma is pretty standard minus the addition of the FMP elements. This won't be a Ranma/Akane match up as I just cannot make them interesting to me. And if I don't want to read my work, then why should you?

Thanks go to Chi Vayne, whom I conned into pre-reading this.