I looked up to the sky. The rain poring down on me. What went wrong? What made him run away like that? I held out my hand. Rain drops lightly dropping onto my cold skin. I should have known that he would run away. But why didn't I show him that I loved him? Like I really do? I loved him so much that I continued being myself, not showing him my feelings. Shutting him out in the cold. I showed him so much cruelty.

My eyes started to sting. I couldn't cry. He can't make me miss him that much. Not now. I can't give up on him yet. He was so precious to me.

I held my hand over my face.

You will find him. Don't worry.

I walked myself back home. Looking at the door to my apartment to find it open.

He was here. He came back. My heart jumped. Maybe he came back.

I walked into my apartment.

So my thought wasn't true. It was empty. He wasn't sitting on the couch. Ready to pounce on me and wrap his fragile arms around my neck, with that smile on. Saying he was so glad to see me, so glad to be with me. Glad to know me. Welcoming into the world of his, where everything was perfect in his beautiful eyes. His pink hair falling infront of his eyes. As he flipped his hair to the side so he could see me. To be with me.

But I would push him away, call him names before leaving to my room. And he would stand there. Tears in his eyes, then chase after me, telling me he was sorry for whatever he did. I wouldn't answer him. I would ignore him. I was so blind then. I didn't know how much I was tearing him up inside. I didn't know..

I put him through the pain that I went through.

You were so tender, so fragile. Like if I just tapped your heart, it would break in a thousand pieces of glass.

I put my back against the wall, sliding down until I hit the floor.

I wish I could take this whole day back. In the morning, when he woke up, I would just bring him into my arms, hold him tightly onto me. Whisper into his ear on how much I adored him. To tell him my feelings. Take him out to eat, anything to just have him stay with me, even if it would only be for one more night, it would be worth it.

But now, you broke my heart down. If you do leave me for good, Shuichi, I will never look at anyone the same way again, never love again. Not let one single person who will try to love me in my apartment. I would watch your concerts on tape, look out for you on the streets, but I wouldn't be able to stop you. If I saw you, I would know you wanted to live your life that way. Away from me. Not even wanting to remember all the things that I put you through, and I wouldn't even have a second thought on what I did.

And now, it's my turn to have my heart broken. To feel as if nothing could ever go right again.

I stared at the wall. Nothing in my world can ever go right again. Never.

I crawled into bed. Tucking myself deep into the blankets until I found a comfortable spot. I looked over to the side of me, like I should see Shuichi there. Smiling at me, telling me he loved me so much. I closed my eyes. Listening to the rain dance around, hitting my window. It was almost like a soothing sound that you could fall asleep to.

I opened my eyes again. I need to find him. I stumbled out of bed, quickly pulling on clothes and walking out of the door, into the night, to find my lover that I needed to get back.


Sorry for the long wait for the next chapter... i've been busy. But i hoped you liked it some what. I'm trying.