'Remus, leave it. She'll most probably never tell you'
'Sirius, don't.' Hermione said softly and turned to Remus. 'She wants to tell you, but it's hard, it's so hard. She hasn't even made sense of it yet herself. It was all conducted behind closed doors, I'd personally be surprised if even Fudge knew the extent of it. Now, Harry, it would most probably be best if you didn't contemplate visiting her. She's still trying to contemplate being left there and I don't think finding out her father was going to leave her again is really going to make her very welcoming to you. Shall we be honest about this?' Hermione left the room. Letting the door close behind her, before running to the Gryffindor portrait hole, shouting out the password to a surprised looking Fat Lady (Pork chop) and running across the common room full of Gryffindor's in end-of-term cheeriness.
She bolted up the stairs to the dormitory and ran in. Luckily the room was empty as Hermione sank to her bed and her eyes filled up with tears. She sat there as the horror of what she knew filled her up and she tried to cry it out, but it didn't help, unless Catherine let it out, Hermione would not let herself be happy. She was inextricably tied to Catherine. She didn't hear the door open and flinched and looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
'Professor Dumbledore, how did you get into the girls dormitory?' She tried to wipe her eyes but knew it was too late.
'A secret passage, that's not to be found on any marauder's maps. All headmaster's know about it. You've seen Catherine.' Again it was a statement, not a question. He knew, of course he knew, he knew everything that went on in the school.
'Yes, she is going to need a lot of help. I know everything that happened, and even though she told me, it still feels like a secret I shouldn't know. How could someone do that?' Her eyes filled up with tears.
'She told you because she trusts you. You can't tell anyone unless she wants you to. It's just a clause in the gigantic contract you had already signed.'
Harry had left the hospital, leaving Remus and Sirius in stony silence. Sirius moved past Lupin towards the curtains that surrounded his young daughter, pulling one gently aside and looking in.
'She looks so small.' He commented quietly. A small waver creeping into his voice.
'I know.' Remus said just as softly. Walking up to stand behind Sirius, who turned and looked straight into his eyes.
'I don't understand, when she was younger, she seemed to need me, but now I don't know what to do. Do I try to hold her, although after what just happened she'd probably set fire to me'
Remus walked away from the curtains and sat on a nearby bed, the creak of the springs echoing in the empty ward. He gestured for Sirius to sit next to him, and took a deep breath in. 'Do you remember the incident with the Malfoys'
'Yeah, of course I do'
'We, uh... I never told you what happened. They put me in with her on the night of the full moon.' He gabbled quickly, trying to find the best words in his head to tell his friend what had happened next.
'But you didn't tear her apart? How does that work'
'I'll get to that in a minute, she told me to undress. We didn't know how long we were going to be there, she figured it might be best if I wasn't naked for it. Then she, um, she asked me to kiss her. And I did.' He looked at Sirius.
'You kissed my daughter, she was 17. And you were what, 36? And you kissed her'
'Sirius, it wasn't like that. I kept seeing your face swimming in front of my eyes. And I pulled away, I told her you'd kill me if you ever found out'
'You were bloody right.' Sirius stood as if to take a swing.
'And she said 'He doesn't care.' All of this happened because she thinks you want Harry more than her. That's why she didn't put up a fight. She thought you'd be happier if she wasn't there. So you and Harry could be alone.' The words hit Sirius like a punch to the gut. His arm dropped to his side from its raised position.
'How can she think that?' He said gently, slowly sinking back beside Remus.
'Because, you didn't bother to try and see her when you escaped, you went straight to Harry. She was left at a muggle boarding school with the knowledge that her father had escaped'
'What does it matter. I went to Harry to save him. Anyway everyone thought I'd done it. Even you. Why would she have wanted me then'
'Because she never believed you had done anything. Unlike most people she remembers what happened when she was young, I mean really young. She was 2 when you went to Azkaban, she remembers the last weekend you spent together. Do you remember, it was Lily's birthday? We went round to her and James'. Everyone was there except for Peter. She remembers the way you and James were. She knew you'd never do anything to hurt him, or Lily, or Harry. And then you just vanished. How do you explain to a two year old that her father is in prison'
'So what did Dumbledore do?' Sirius' shoulders were hunched and his voice was becoming smaller and weaker.
'Nothing. I saw her once a month or so, to help her understand what was happening, to teach her how to control her powers. Then her mother went loopy'
'Abigail went mad. What did she do'
'Turned fundamentalist Christian. Thought Catherine was possessed by the devil. Tried to 'save her soul', ended up nearly killing her. Catherine contacted me and we got her out of there. Before putting her in a boarding school. She stayed with me during holidays'
'Is that why she was there, the night you-know-who returned? When I turned up'
'Yes, that's why she was there. She broke up early as it was her last year there. Then you turned up, raving about Harry. How he'd won the Triwizard and such. It only compounded her feeling that you didn't want her. You had your substitute for James and that was all you wanted. Why would you need a messed up 16 year old, with more problems than you can imagine? So she withdrew and this is the result. She wakes up and finds you planning to leave her again for Harry. And now we have the stalemate that we find ourselves in.' Remus finished and turned to finally look at his friend again. Shocked to see a tear falling down his face. 'Sirius, I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything'
'No, I needed to know. It's all my fault. Everything that happened, it's all down to me'
'No, no, it's not. Its the Ministry's fault and mine for leaving her at the end.' Remus sat, not knowing what to do. Feeling unable to comfort his friend.
'You shouldn't have had to get her, it should have been me, I am her Father after all.' He stood and began to walk towards the door, 'I'm going to go to my rooms for a little while. I'll be back later.' he left before Remus could answer.
He sighed and walked over to the curtain, stepping through, he pulled up a chair and settled down for a long night.
