Chapter 4
She could hardly grasped what had just happened. She had never been this confused before in her life. Part of her felt hurt and violated beyond compare, but another part of her had never felt so complete before.
When he had broken off the kiss and had stepped back, a sudden cold had filled her veins. A cold that had nothing to do with the evening breeze.
When he had kissed her all the pieces of the puzzle had just seemed to come together, and it was only then that she realized she loved him a lot more than just the love for a family member. And, when she looked back at everything, probably had been in love with him for as long as she could remember.
When that realization settled in she uncontrollably started to shake, and she slid to the ground.
She knew he hadn't kissed her because he liked her as well, but only to hurt her. And that only made it so much worse.
How could she have fallen in love with someone who hated her this much? Someone who even despised her?
… Maybe he's right…maybe I'm really not meant to be happy. Maybe it was foolish to think otherwise, to think things would change… she thought discouraged.
When he had seen the tears in her eyes he had to get out of there, and no longer able to trust his legs, he had vanished in a puff of smoke.
He had been sitting in a tree to pull his thoughts and feelings together. But the more he thought about it the more confused he got.
Why had he gotten so turned on? And where did those strange feelings came from?
He had been with girls before, even slept with them, but that had never meant anything to him, let alone brought up these feelings.
…Then why this time? And why Hinata!... he thought. He hated her right?...Right!
That was when it hit him.
He felt like he was struck with lightning when he realized what his feelings meant.
He cared for her…a lot more than he probably should for his little cousin…
Why did this have to happen now! And why him? Was his life not complicated enough as it was? He didn't need this in his life. He didn't need anyone!
But it had felt so good having her in his arms, as if she was made just for him…
For the first time in his life he knew he was in love, a feeling that was completely foreign to him.
Ever since his father had been killed he had blocked out all feelings, leaving him bitter and cold with only his hate to keep him going. But somehow she had managed to break down the wall he had build around him over the years and had sneaked inside.
He tried to deny it, to bring back those feelings of hate he used to have for her. But then he realized something else; he had never really hated her to begin with. He only hated his own life and the position he was forced in. He had only projected his hate on her in order to blame someone. In order to stay alive…
Suddenly his mind recalled hundreds of memories of times when he had blamed her, hurt her, and another thought struck him; She never seemed to mind him doing so. She never got angry with him, and at the Chuunin exams she didn't forfeit either, but instead provided him the only physical opportunity there was to ventilate his anger on her.
…She had been willing to sacrifice her life for that…for me… he realized suddenly.
This confused him, because why would she have done such a thing? He had always treated her with nothing but contempt, so why had she done it?
The confusion was getting the better of him, and his already shaken mind could think of only one person able to solve that mystery. Hinata.
Before he could change his mind he activated his Byakugan again to see where she was.
He frowned when he saw she hadn't moved from the clearing he had left her at earlier.
He wasted no more time and, using his chakra, darted over to her hoping to get the answers he so desperately sought.
When he got back to the clearing he stopped dead in is tracks when he saw her crouched at the base of a tree.
He was stung with guilt when he saw her like that and knew he had hurt her really deep this time, probably even deeper than at the Chuunin Exams.
When she felt another presence there she hurriedly got back to her feet and whipped away her tears with her sleeve.
When she recognized him her eyes grew even wider and unconsciously she backed away a step.
"Neji-niisan !..." she said breathless as she could hardly believe her eyes.
"Hinata…Why didn't you forfeit during the Chuunin Exams?" he asked her straight out.
Meanwhile he slowly, as not to scare her even more, walked up to her.
She was completely overtaken by his sudden question and for a moment she was sure she must have heard him wrong, for the Neji she knew would never have asked her side of things.
He grew impatient when she didn't answered his question and pressed the question again.
"You had no chance of winning and you knew very well that the rules of the Exams would undo the power of the cursed seal. Meaning it wouldn't have stopped me from killing you. So why didn't you forfeited? You always run away from fights, why not that time?" he pressed.
She felt trapped. She didn't want to tell him the truth since she knew it would give away her feelings for him. Besides he would only hate her more for still believing in her foolish dream.
But she never was the person who could lie either, especially not to him.
She fidgeted with her fingers and looked straight at her feet, not daring to look him in the eyes. A blush turned her face to a deep shade of red, and for a mere second he felt the urge to see how far down her blush went. But he contained himself for he needed some answers first.
"M..my..f..family took away so much from you already… It was only fair I would give you something back…." she said so softly that he had to strain to even hear her.
"I..I thought that if you could vent your anger and hate on me, without being stopped by that cursed seal, that maybe you wouldn't feel so sad and angry anymore…." she added when he didn't react, stumbling over her own words.
When he still didn't react she looked up at him. He just looked at her, in his eyes a strange emotion she had never seen in them.
His silence started to work on her already feeble nerves and unconsciously she started to chatter the first thing that came in her mind in order to disrupt the now deafening silence.
"Neji-niisan, I wish that you were my older brother, then you would be the Hyuuga Heir… The title should be yours anyway. You deserve it so much more than I do. You are the real Hyuuga prodigy, you're so strong and smart, a..and I am so weak and.." she chattered.
But Neji had only heard her first sentence.
Her earlier words had rid him of his last bitter feelings towards her, and although still not sure where he stood now, he said the only thing that he could think of.
"I wouldn't want to be your brother Hinata…." he interrupted.
He put his hands beside her head against the tree, trapping her once again between his body and the tree.
"Because then I wouldn't be able to do this…" he continued.
He leaned closer and kissed her, finally giving in to his need to hold her again.
She gulped when he kissed her again that night. This time though he was gentle and tender, all anger and roughness he had displayed earlier gone now.
She didn't understood what was happening or why he was kissing her, but she could feel her body react to his kisses and now gentle touches as a warmth started to spread throughout her body.
When his lips touched hers again his mind went into overdrive. His senses were flooded with this intense warmth and need to be even closer to her.
Vaguely he realized that he wouldn't even notice it if they were to be attacked, but he couldn't care less at that moment.
He could feel her surprise when he had kissed her, but much to his surprise she didn't struggled him or pulled back.
Although he wanted so much more from her he didn't want to scare her off or frighten her, especially not after what he had done to her earlier. So he fought to keep his swirling emotions under control, something he used to be very good in, but now seemed harder and harder to do.
His tongue coaxed her lips until she started to respond and opened her mouth for him.
She was submissive, but after a few minutes she started to respond. He could feel how she started to return his kisses and he could feel her hesitant hands on his chest.
That almost put him in overdrive and he intensified the kiss even more. She gulped, but when he pulled back slightly, she stopped him and nuzzled up to him.
His hands roamed her body until she squirmed with contentment. He whispered sweet words in her ears, without even realising he did, words she had yearned to hear from him for so long, but never actually thought she would hear him say, especially not to her.
He pulled her back a little and reluctantly broke of their kiss. Her eyes were wide and he found he couldn't look away from them.
"Hinata-sama…I'm so sorry for all the times I..." he said with true remorse, but she gently stopped him by pressing her fingers to his lips.
"ssshhh… It's okay Neji-niisan. I didn't mind. You needed to do so. I understand, really" she said softly.
He chuckled softly.
"I think you should stop calling me nii-san from now on…" (1) he said with twinkling eyes.
She blushed furiously and nodded shyly.
"Neji-kun…" she said softly as if tasting his name. Then she smiled shyly. "I like it!" she said finally.
Neji smiled "Good."
Hinata's eyes grew possibly even wider.
She couldn't even recall the last time she had seen him smile and it filled her heart to know she had finally made him smile.
"You should smile more often Neji-kun. I like you much better when you smile…" she said shyly.
He was taken aback some by her words, and realized she was right. Ever since his father was killed he never had the will to smile anymore. But now it seemed he couldn't stop himself.
"You gave me a good reason to smile again. And you know something? It feels really good to smile again. I missed it." He said truthfully.
She blushed even more now, but this time he thought it looked cute on her.
He gently stroked her face and when she closed her eyes he softly kissed her again. This time though with more passion and fire.
She slightly backed away at the unfamiliar feeling and for a moment he was afraid he had scared her off. But then she responded back to his kiss with almost as much fire and passion as he had.
She clutched his shirt when she felt her knees trembling.
Both their breathing was starting to get heavy when he remembered that they were still out in the forest, and could easily get caught by passerby's.
And for the second time he broke of their kiss.
"We can't do this…not here…" he said breathless.
For a moment she just looked at him, and he thought he saw regret in her eyes. But before he could make sure she looked shyly downwards.
"Come with me Hinata-sama….please?..." he asked.
Although his voice had sounded neutral to anyone who didn't knew him that well, she could hear the almost desperate plead behind it.
Her head shot up at his whispered question.
She nodded slightly, too shy to say anything.
"If you do, it will be more than just kissing and holding hands…" he warned her.
Her heart filled itself with love at those words, for he never before had given her a choice. And she knew that with those words he had practically pledged his love for her.
"I know…" she almost whispered, not able to talk past the lump in her throat. In her heart she had never been so sure about anything before in her life. And what they were about to share was something she had only wanted to share with him.
He smiled at her and held her close. Then with one hand he formed some seals behind her back and before she knew what happened they had disappeared in a puff of smoke.
(1) Hinata always calls Neji nii-san, wich means older brother. For obvious reasons Neji prefers the kun suffix now better ;P
AN:
Everyone thank you sooo much for your nice reviews! It really means the world to me :sniffs:
