A/N- I don't know... I just feel like there should be one...
Estella Brandybuck- Yes, must get the child's mind off of that no-good lawyer baron revolutionary chap...
Eponine- Are you missing the point? I don't specifically want Marius dead, and this is by no means an M/C bashing fic. In fact, I love Marius/Cosette nearly as much as Raoul/Christine. I've seen some of your other reviews, and I just thought you should know that I'm not on Ponine's side of the love triangle. That said, Erik killing Marius? Interesting...
nebulia- Yes... perhaps they've got yeast in theirbrains or something... Perhaps I need sleep. Yeah, that one.
Tziporah- Isn't OOCness fun?
ArgentineRose- Ah, yes, must use quotes... I'm really tired... Gah! I can't think of anything interesting to say... poo.
Robyn-Enjolras- If we heal Bloody-Red, then can Valjean get a pineapple? Hm?
notthatlucky- Never fear, Cosette is here! Or... was there...? Ah well, save that flower for... You'll see.
Kang Xiu- hoopy frood... You can still keep the crown, though. -nods-
Some time later, Valjean returns with Bloody-Red as good as new.
"Won't that revolutionary be pleased?" Claire smiles.
Valjean glances up quickly. "What revolutionary?"
"The one who sold me this vest."
"What was his name?"
Claire shrugs. "He was a nice blond fellow."
Valjean relaxes at this. "Well, are you ready to lift the curse laid on your house by the evil devil-worshipping Gypsy lawman?"
"Yes!" Jacques and Claire shout.
"Well..." says Valjean; "this is what you must do."
With Valjean's direction, the baker and his wife put the vest as red as blood on the brat without a home and have him drop the hair of blonde or brown into the boot that is full of holes. He does... and... nothing happens.
"What?" everyone exclaims. "Why isn't it working?"
Valjean frowns at the boy, the vest, the boot, and the hair. "Wait..." he says, "where did you get that hair?"
"I stole it from a girl in a garden," Claire tells him.
"That explains it!" Valjean cries. "None of it can be stolen! That's against the rules!"
"But we're running out of time!" Jacques wails. "Where will we get another hair in the five minutes before the third midnight?"
The door of the shop bursts open, and a blonde woman with no front teeth staggers into the room. "Jacques," she groans, coughing, "use mine!" She rips a handful of hair out of her head and holds it out to the baker. "I've been portrayed onstage with blonde hair, brown hair, red hair, and even black hair! My hair will work!"
"Thank you, Mysterious Woman!" Jacques smiles, taking the hair.
Valjean squints at her. "Fantine? I thought you were dead."
"Fantine?" repeats Jacques. "You're Fantine?"
The Mysterious Woman nods, tries to smile, and dies.
"NOOOOOOO! MOOOOOOTHEEEEERRRR!" Jacques shouts. As he says this the brat drops the hairs into the boot, and a potion appears. Valjean throws it on the baker, and his wife immediately becomes pregnant.
"Oh dear," Claire moans, looking down at her enormous stomach, "I need to go lie down."
Jacques, meanwhile, takes the brat, the vest, and the boot out into the streets to return them to their owners.
Eponine stops in the middle of an alley, panting. "Wait a minute," she says aloud. "Why on earth am I running from the sexiest man in all of literature? That just doesn't make sense."
"Eponine!" a voice cries. She glances up; Montparnasse has finally caught up with her. "Eponine! You've stopped running!"
"Yeah," she says. "Wanna do something about it?"
Montparnasse does.
Cosette is taking a walk by the river to clear her head. She passes some fishermen, who are pulling in a very full net. "We've caught a big one, Bob!" cries one.
His companion inspects their net. "What? Bill, this is a dead body."
"Ew," says Bill. He tosses the net away, and it lands at Cosette's feet.
She recognizes the body, of course, as her own beloved. "Marius!" she gasps, throwing herself to the ground beside him. "Oh, Marius, my love! You can't be dead, you just can't be!"
Her tragic tears of love fall on his face, and he is magically healed. "Cosette!" Marius cries, sitting up. "You found me!"
They hug, kiss, and get all mushy.
Enjolras waves the big shiny gun in Gavroche's face. "Ha! Told you they had big shiny guns! Told you so!"
"That's nice," says Gavroche.
"Oy, you two!" someone shouts. "You two, over here!"
They turn to see Jacques rushing toward them with the brat in tow. "Hey, here's your stuff back!"
"Ah, my boy!" Gavroche laughs. "Splendid!"
"Bloody-Red? Oh, Bloody-Red, my dear sweet little vesty-vest-vest! I never thought I'd see you again!" Enjolras says, weeping for joy. He hugs the vest close and kisses it and puts it on. "Don't I look spiffy, gamin?"
"I dunno," says Gavroche.
And thus I draw the curtain on act one of our fic, with everyone living happily ever after. Enjolras has his vest, Eponine has her Montparnasse, Cosette has her Marius, Jacques and Claire have their child, and Gavroche has his boys. Ah yes, all's well...
