5) Someone is waiting to love you
This evening Erik left his world unusually early. It wasn´t even dark as he reached the ground floor of the opera, and he pulled the brim of his hat into his face. Tonight was no performance, so the chance of encountering someone was quite small. Yet he felt uncomfortable and quickened his pace. The last rehearsal had been over an hour ago, but he knew that Christine liked to stay longer.
He had to see her. Although their last meeting had only been two days previously, he missed her so much. It had become even worse since last night for the image of Meg flashed in his mind over and over. Sometimes it managed to push itself over Christine´s picture, which he had never believed possible. Thoughts of Christine were his daily companions, comforting him whenever he needed it.
Meg´s image, however, had made him puzzled for a while, before he had found an explanation why he kept seeing her. It was merely a physical reaction of his body to hers. So the fact that it had been Meg was not important at all; it could have been any other woman. All Erik had to do was go to Christine and say how much he loved her. If only she returned his love! Then these unwanted images would disappear as suddenly as they had come.
Voiced sounded from a nearby corridor, and Erik quickly hid in a dark corner. His heart sped up as he recognised Christine. "We really should go now. Didn´t you tell me the play started at eight?", she called. She sounded happy and a little breathless. It was clearly a man who answered: "Yes, but it has three acts, and we can still arrive at the theatre in time for the second one, even if we don´t hurry.".
Almost soundlessly Erik walked a few steps to see what was going on there… and froze. Christine, his Christine was being embraced by a man. It was the Vicomte de Chagny, who had led her away from the dressing room in that night when everything had gone wrong. Erik had hoped it had only been an old friend of Christine´s, but the hungry way this man looked at her told him different. And now he leant down and kissed her on the lips. As far as Erik could tell from where he stood she enjoyed it, lifting her head and pressing herself shamelessly against the man´s body.
Erik had seen enough. He left this terrible place quickly, making his way to a part of the opera he didn´t visit too often: the roof. Nearly all other places were tainted with memories of Christine, and he needed a rest to think it all over. The way to the roof was long, leading through narrow passages which were rarely used. The whole time he repeated one sentence in a whisper: "You have lost her.". ´Nonsense´, he told himself firmly as he reached his destination. ´To lose a woman you must have had her in the first place.´
Looking for a spot to settle down he stopped dead as he noticed that he wasn´t the only one here. Sitting on a low wall with her eyes closed was the very person whose images had been on his mind countless times for the last day. Erik was a little angry. How was he supposed to forget her when she appeared at the most unlikely places? But before he could turn around and leave his curiosity had taken control of him and made him approach her. He wanted to find out what she had done in Christine´s dressing room.
Meg had turned her head towards the sky, enjoying this day´s last rays of sunshine. In weeks like this she had rehearsals from morning to evening, and by the time they were over it was already dark. Realising that it would be different today she had seized the chance to come here. It was her favourite part of the opera – quiet, secluded and therefore ideal for pondering. Meg still hadn´t decided whether a letter was such a good idea. What should she write? Something like: ´Dear Erik! I´m in love with you. Could you please forget that you´ve seen me naked and fall in love with me at once? Yours, Meg.´?
Erik sat down next to the girl. "Good evening, Mlle.Giry.", he said politely. Meg´s eyes snapped open as she recognised the voice and she turned to look at him, at him. For a moment she simply stared, refusing to accept what her eyes told her. He was here, maybe one foot away from her. She swallowed hard, fighting the anxiety which rose from her stomach. "Good evening, monsieur.", she whispered.
"Why have you been in Christine´s dressing room yesterday?", he asked flatly. Meg frowned. She didn´t know what she had expected as the start of a conversation with Erik, but certainly not this question. "Does that mean you´ve watched me?", she gave back, a bit more sharply than she had planned. Erik bit his lip. He hadn´t thought that this knowledge also revealed something about him. "Well… yes.", he confessed, his face turning red as he felt her gaze on him. "But I didn´t mean to … it was just … I´m sorry."
Meg shrugged. Had he been another man, she would have shouted at him. But he seemed to be so embarrassed that she couldn´t bring herself to do it. "What happened happened.", she said. Erik sighed with relief. He didn´t want her to think of him as a lecherous old man who spent his time spying on young girls. As he looked at her questioningly she realised that she hadn´t answered him yet. "Christine asked me to cancel the singing lesson for her. She had … something else to do." She couldn´t just blurt out the feelings for him. She had to approach the topic slowly.
"Did this ´something else´ happen to involve a certain Vicomte de Chagny?" Erik´s voice grew louder with each word. Meg nodded briefly and ducked as she saw the fury in his eyes. She had never quite believed the stories about all the horrible things the Opera Ghost had done in his rage, but now she wasn´t that certain anymore. Surely he would understand that she was only the bearer of the bad news, wouldn´t he?
Erik threw the girl a sidelong glance, surprised about her extreme reaction. Since he rarely dealt with other people he only had a vague idea of how menacing he was at times. He wasn´t even especially angry. It confirmed what he had witnessed earlier. He had to face the fact that he could no longer pretend that Christine was his, and this made him just sad, very sad. "Thank you for telling me!", he muttered. "At least you´re honest with me…" He noticed that his eyes were filling with tears, but couldn´t do anything against it. Wiping them away from his right eye would require taking off the mask, and that was impossible in her presence.
Meg watched the rapid change in his mood, not sure what to do. "Christine likes you very much.", she said truthfully. She wanted to put an arm around his shoulders to comfort him, but didn´t dare it. "And still she meets this other man. She doesn´t love me.", Erik stated bitterly. This whole conversation was much too personal for his taste, yet her sympathy made him stay. "I do.", Meg muttered quietly, but Erik didn´t hear it.
Her heart was hurting as she saw him like that, the great legend of the opera reduced to the picture of misery. Suddenly he looked so human, so weak. She knew what she longed for, what she had wanted to do all the time. Perhaps he would kill her afterwards, but it was a risk she was willing to take.
Erik tried to pull himself together. Why should he cry? Because his only dream had just been smashed on the cold floor of reality? He should have known better than to expect miracles. No woman in her right mind would ever love him. He wondered why Meg was still here, listening to his pathetic muttering. Turning his head to ask her he realised how small the distance between them was. He could feel her breath caress his skin. She leant even closer, just like the Vicomte had done when he- His thoughts were interrupted abruptly as she pressed her lips against his.
