He did it for me
Chapter 30
By: teal-lover
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Being twice blessed, Wyatt thought that nothing could ever hurt him. It's devastating to find out how wrong you can be. Takes place in the future that Chris changed.
Chris just turned 19, and Wyatt is three months shy of his 21st birthday.
Disclaimer in chapter 1
AN: this chapter all takes place in the past—only some of what the girls were thinking.
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"Piper, what are you doing?"
The mother of two turned her back on her sister before sighing in exasperation. She waved the mixing spoon in the air, "What does it look like I'm doing, Phoebe. I'm making cookies."
"Piper, you just had a baby—and almost died in the process. You should be resting."
"I'm fine. I just need to do something. Besides, I'm not cooking an all out meal, I'm just baking a few cookies for desert. And I'm not expending any more energy doing this than when I blow up demons."
Phoebe shrugged, then stared at the host of ingredients littering the kitchen counter before cocking her head in confusion. She picked up the bag of semi-sweet chips and held them up in front of the other woman, "Ok. But since when do you put chocolate chips in the oatmeal raisin cookies?"
She answered in irritated tone before reaching over the counter to turn up the baby-monitor, "Since I'm making chocolate chip cookies, NOT oatmeal raisin."
Phoebe winced uncomfortably, "And they're for OUR desert?"
"Yes."
Phoebe watched her sister beat the mix furiously. She waited a few moments for the other woman to catch onto her subtle hint, but she was oblivious so she added gently, "Honey, no one in the house likes chocolate chip. Only Chris…"
"Don't be silly—" she began before abruptly stopping what she was doing. Piper stared down at the ingredients before inhaling sharply. Her eyes watered as she tried to focus on the words from the flour bag.
Phoebe reached out to put an arm around her sister as she realized her mistake. That she had toiled for hours unconsciously making something that only he liked, but was no longer there to enjoy them.
Piper stalked over to the counter top where a fresh batch had already been cooling, grabbed the cookie sheet and dumped them in the trash can angrily before tossing the tray in behind them. Furthering her brief fit of rage, she threw the bowl and any ingredients within her reach onto the floor before running out of the room, the slamming of her bedroom door echoing through the house.
Surveying the mess on the floor, Phoebe began to tear up, feeling her own guilt bubbling to the surface. Leaning against the kitchen counter, her mind started to flash through all of her family member's behavior lately. Everyone had seemed, 'off', somehow. Clumsy, a little distracted, and certainly not on top of their game. They had just been lucky that none of the demon attacks had been very organized. The whole manor had seemed to radiate a depressing and gloomy feel, and none of them had picked up on, or perhaps simply acknowledged the reason for it.
Her shoulders started to shake as she sank to the floor, brushing up against the kitchen cabinet. The weight of the situation, of all that had happened lately, especially her own guilty conscience, threatened to overwhelm her through the sobs that now shook her body.
Now that he was gone, the Empath would regret how she treated him for the rest of her life. From the first day he arrived, until the day she thought she was sending him back to the future, she had never been very supportive of him. Even after she found out that he was indeed, her nephew. Unlike Piper, who had warmed up and mothered him instantly after finding out; or Leo who never stopped trying to be a good father to him; or even Paige who had constantly teased him like a little brother—welcoming him as part of the family the only way she knew how. And despite their differences, her younger sister had even been there for him when he needed her. Especially in his final hours.
But Phoebe couldn't claim any of that. When Leo had tried to get them to go back to the Manor and watch over him, she had shied away from the duty in favor of staying with her sister—because someone had to.
At least, that's what she kept telling herself.
Thinking back on it now, she could see that she was just afraid. If there was nothing they could do for him, he would die thinking of her as a horrible person; one who had dragged her feet or outright refused to help him be born; refused to help him in his quest to save his brother; refused to welcome him as she knew she should have.
But if Piper didn't make it, it was far easier to be supportive of a sister who would know without a doubt that she loved them. Chris was different, though. She never could understand what it was about him that put her on the defensive, or what even prevented her from expressing to him how she really felt. Even her somewhat tearful goodbye at Magic School wasn't good enough. If actions spoke louder than words, hers would have done nothing to prove her case to him.
Had everything gone according to plan in the future, he would remember coming back to the past and most likely, how badly she had treated him. But she had thought and hoped that if she hurried him along back to his time, she would have decades to make up for her mistakes to him. And that's what he would remember most. A doting Aunt.
Phoebe wrapped her arms around herself as she drew her knees to her chest. She spoke to herself, as if hearing it out loud would somehow make it easier. "When he grows up, he's not going to remember any of this. He's not going to be who he was. He's not going to know that I loved him."
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Upstairs, Piper's tantrum had woken the baby sleeping in the bassinet. She reached in to pick up the fussing infant, but he sensed her distress and refused to be quieted. She whispered soothingly, "Momma's sorry, sweetie. She didn't mean to wake you up. I'm sorry, baby—ssshhh."
The whaling gradually grew louder, and Piper's own frustration built until she was crying right along with him. She wished she could freeze him to make it stop since nothing she did or said would calm him. Finally, she laid him down on the bed and patted his back as she decided to try something different. Through her own tears, she spoke soothingly to him in words that she knew he didn't understand yet, but somehow made her feel better to let them out. "I'm sorry, Chris. I'm sorry I wasn't there to keep you safe. I never should have trusted Gideon. I wasn't careful enough. I should have written that damned spell myself, and you would already be home right now. I just hope you don't hate me. Because I couldn't stand that if you did. I love you too much to have you hate me. I know I didn't say it often when you were old enough to hear it, but I do, you know."
As she kept talking, Piper barely noticed that the baby had relaxed and fallen asleep under touch. "I didn't say a lot of things I should have when you were old enough. I know that sounds strange, but how else could it sound in a family like ours. I know I mentioned it briefly, but I should have said things like how proud I am of you for coming back here, despite everything, and all the obstacles. Especially for putting up with us. I know that takes patience because not even those pacifist Elders can put up with us. So I guess I must have done something right for you to turn out so well."
She smiled warmly, stroking the baby-fine hair softly as she pictured his face, "…And so handsome. I have a feeling I'm going to have to blow up some of those fresh teenage girls that will be chasing my little boy."
Suddenly, Piper blinked and swiped furiously at the water flowing down her cheeks. "I made you some chocolate chip cookies this morning. Do you remember when you first told me you liked them? I was making oatmeal, and then you came in snagged one before looking at it. I keep picturing that cute little way you scrunched up your face trying not to spit it out, just so you wouldn't hurt my feelings. Well guess what? I remembered this time." Her voice choked on a lump in her throat, but she felt she needed to continue. "But I guess I didn't remember that—"
She sniffled and wiped her eyes again, whispering softly, "I miss you. I don't know why I made them. I just keep doing things like that. Maybe my mind is trying to keep me from forgetting, and I don't ever want to forget you and what you did. I know you'll probably be different now. And I know it's wrong of me, but—I'm kind of hoping that you'll remember a little. Not the bad parts or anything, but—maybe just enough so that I know I never will. And you'll look at me and give me that cocky little smile of yours that's always kind of made me laugh and wonder where you got it."
As Piper laid down beside the baby, she didn't notice that her youngest sister was watching her from the doorway, silently sharing her tears before orbing away.
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Paige didn't know where she was running to when she fled from Piper's room, and she didn't particularly care. She just wanted to get away from there, where she wouldn't be forced to remember the terrible event that happened in that room not long ago.
She had been careful to avoid her sisters bedroom like the plague, and hadn't returned since the day after little Chris was born.
At Leo's request, and only for him, did she even dare step foot in the room. Apparently, her brother-in-law was having as hard a time as she looking at the bed where her nephew had lain before he—faded away.
Steeling herself for the task, she held her breath as she entered and started to pull the comforter off the bed, intent on destroying the offending object. The blood stains were gone, faded away with him, but for some strange reason, she could still see them. She couldn't get them out of her mind, in fact. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she still saw his fate on that horrible day. Dropping the blanket back on the bed, she orbed downstairs and grabbed the phone book. Leafing through it, she called a local mattress company. "Hello, yes, can you tell me if you deliver? Great. Um, do you also remove the old set? Perfect. No, it doesn't matter what kind. The best one you've got, ok? Whatever. Just--get it here today…"
For weeks afterward, Paige hadn't been able to get much of the incident out of her mind. And she had thought she was doing better, even encouraging her sister to go out. But seeing the mother drowning in her own sorrows, and talking to him as if he were still there, only brought her pain out of hiding once more. And she wanted to forget.
When she orbed, she landed at the one spot where she couldn't. The back office of P3. The room that he had occupied in his 15-month stay in the past. Looking around in a frustrated panic, she thought back to when she held his hand tightly in those last hours, oblivious to the team of officers hanging back in the doorway. Day in and day out, she had tried to forget his literal death bed confession, but it lingered relentlessly. She just couldn't seem to get it unglued from her mind…
Paige kneeled on the floor beside the bed as she stroked his hair back soothingly, "Everything's going to be fine. You're going to be fine, Chris. And Leo is going to find Wyatt. And we're going to heal you, and then send you back home."
His pained and ragged whispers were spoken so softly, that she had to lean in close to his ear to make it out. "..not going home."
"No, Chris, don't talk like that. We always find a way."
"..dieing, Paige. Don't want to. Scared…"
Paige jumped back in terror, her heart beating wildly. She had never heard him admit to any feeling, and had only barely seen any through the brave front he always wore. For him to admit the fear only heightened her sense of dread, in that maybe this time, they wouldn't be able to find a solution.
Frantically, she stood up and shoved her way past the guards, hoping that if she yelled loud enough, Leo would return in enough time to save his son. But that was not to be the case…
Paige now found herself curled up on the couch in the tiny back office, only vaguely aware of how and when she had sat down. For weeks now, Paige had tried to forget that horror by any means possible—work, cleaning, even drawing on happier memories with him. But the images were just too powerful to ignore. Every time she found a good one, it would resurface and fill in the blanks again. It was worse in areas that reminded her of him.
She spun around frantically to leave, knocking over a bowl of business cards Piper had left on the desk in the process. It made her smile briefly, as it was his suggestion to introduce the idea of picking one lucky winner a night out of the bowl to get a free drink. The first few times they had done it, a fake handwritten business card with his name had mysteriously appeared as the winner. His self appointed job titles to describe his whitelighter duties were amusing in themselves, and had given them all a good laugh. 'Private Investigator', 'Personal Assistant', 'Travel Agent', just to name a few.
She bent over to pick up the pile when her attention was suddenly drawn to one by her foot. She read it silently to herself, shaking her head and discarding the thought. No, it wouldn't work. She didn't need that. But then again, maybe she would finally be able to work through some of those pent up feelings.
Bending the card between her fingers, she made her way over to the phone at the desk, working up the courage to call the number. After several long moments of debate, she dialed. "Hi. Is this the number for Maria Wheaton? My name is Paige Matthews, and I'd like to make an appointment."
The woman on the other end answered politely, "Yes, dear. I'm glad you've decided to call us and take this first step. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions before you meet with Maria?"
"No, not all." Paige answered softly. Being familiar with the business, she was aware of some of the questions and was prepared for the answers. She didn't even think twice about it when the woman asked 'who'. She answered immediately, "My little brother…" , tears again welling in her eyes as she reread the card that said, 'Maria Wheaton, Grief Counselor'.
Tbc…
AN: thank you sooooo much for the wonderful reviews:) They really pull me out of the slump I call schoolwork.
