Jake
I was so close to killing every controller in the town hall before Marco, Rachel and Cassie decided to show up. I hated them right then as I strolled down my street. It was dark and my parents were probably worrying, but I didn't care. I hated them too. I hated myself for what I caused my family. But I especially hated the Yeerks. For what they caused to the world.
As my house came into full view, I noticed that the house lights were on and two very familiar cars were parked in our driveway. Rachel's family car and Marco's dad's car. Rachel's family would of course come to visit when they heard because even though we weren't close, we were still family. Marco must have told his dad about what happened. When Marco's mum supposedly died, our family was there for him and his dad. Now they thought they had to repay the favour, which made me angrier towards them.
I reached the house dreading my entrance. They would all probably rush over to me and say how sorry they are and it's not my fault. I knew I would look into their pitiful faces and feel dead hatred and that's what scared me the most. When I reached the doorstep, I found a better way of getting into the house unseen. Owl morph. My bedroom window was already open, it was a perfect opportunity. I jumped the fence into my backyard and opened the door to the shed. I started to morph into an owl. I could feel my nose elongate into a beak and my feet turn into talons. Before I knew it I was a full grown owl. I flew out of the shed and towards my bedroom window. I flew into my dark bedroom, but with my keen owl eyes I found that my room was completely bare. I started to demorph on my bed. I could hear low whispers from below and just slight crying. When I had fully demorphed, I became aware of how tired I actually was. I collapsed on my bed as I was.
I woke up the next morning with the worst headache imaginable. At first, I wondered why I felt so depressed, and then it all came back to me. I went to have a shower I would normally have waited an hour for. When I walked into the kitchen, my parents were sitting at the table sipping tea and talking quietly to one another. Silent tears were rolling down my mother's cheeks. My father just looked shocked, like he didn't know what to do anymore.
On my entrance my mother pounced up and started to squeeze me in what she obviously thought was a hug. I just stood there, arms by my side and expression unreadable.
"Oh, Jake, I am so sorry," she whispered. "You shouldn't have run off like that. Marco, his dad and Rachel's family came over when they heard."
I remained silent.
"If I hadn't have checked your room one more time for you, we would still be out looking for you," she continued, breaking away from me and staring into my eyes. "I rang the school to tell them you'll be away for at least a week."
I had almost forgotten that today was Monday and that school had started.
"Rachel and her sisters are staying home too," my dad said in a husky voice. "Maybe Marco."
He said this as though I was planning to meet up with them. But I had no intention of meeting with them.
"Jake, next time don't ignore your phone when we try to ring you up," my mum said, desperately, as though wanting me to speak. "Where is your mobile?"
I thought I'd save her the pain of worrying, so I spoke.
"I broke it when I was trying to answer it," I lied. I used to hate lying to my parents, but ever since that fateful night we met Elfangor and discovered the blue morphing box, it's been like a second language.
"Do you want breakfast?" my mum asked. "I can make you some if you like."
"No thanks," I said. "I might just go out for a bit, if that's all right."
"Yeah," my dad said, dismally.
I walked towards the front door, but just before I opened it, I heard my mum burst out crying again and my father talking quietly with her.
I walked down the street, thinking desperately of just flying away to some foreign country to get away from everything. The Yeerks, family, friends… the Animorphs.
I mean, it's not like I couldn't have stopped Tom being murdered. I could have prevented it, if only I had worked harder and faster. I shouldn't have been lazy. I should have gotten to work. And now because of my laziness Tom was…
I could see the blame in my parent's eyes when they looked at me. That morning Tom died, he asked me to go to the sharing with him. I refused to go because the Sharing is an organisation run by the Yeerks. I try to avoid it as much as possible. But if I had gone, maybe I could have stopped the Yeerks from murdering him. It was all my fault and everyone knew it.
I was walking fast, and didn't even realise where my feet was carrying me. I had walked right into the construction site where we first met the dying Elfangor. I looked around in contempt. I hated Elfangor at that moment. I hated Tom. I hated everyone in the world. But out of all the people in the world I hated the most, I hated myself. Why couldn't I just gone with him to the Sharing? It would have been simpler to have gone with him. It would have spared everyone so much pain.
((Jake, what are you doing?)) Tobias' voice filled my head.
I looked up and saw a red tailed hawk circling overhead. Tobias flew down and landed on a piece of wood sticking out of the unfinished building.
"Were you following me?" I demanded, angrily.
((Marco and Rachel both stayed home from school today and went to your house, but you weren't there so they were getting worried.))
"Yeah, well they shouldn't," I said, bitterly. "And you shouldn't be following me."
((We were worried!)) Tobias said indignantly.
"I can take care of myself," I said angrily.
"Oh yes, a really great way to look after yourself, nearly getting yourself killed and exposing us," a snide, angry voice said from behind me.
I spun around and found Marco and a red eyed Rachel hurrying towards us.
Marco had spoken. He looked very angry, which was weird because he always has this happy go lucky expression plastered on.
Rachel looked like she had been crying, which wasn't a surprise for anyone, but this was Rachel, I thought she'd have been stronger than that.
"What were you thinking about last night?" Marco demanded. "Do you know how much trouble you've caused us?"
"Not now Marco," I snapped.
"Then when?" he snapped back. "Look, I understand how you must be feeling at the moment, but you can't do something stupid like that."
"Oh, yeah?" I said angrily. "How about you? You do stupid things all the time. Why can't I have a go at it?"
"Your mum was crying last night and you didn't even tell her you were home," he raged.
((Marco leave it will you?)) Tobias whispered in thought speech.
"Where's Cassie?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"She had to go to school," Marco replied, grumpily.
"Jake, about last night…" Rachel sobbed, but I interrupted.
"No, I don't want to hear it," I said.
"I was just going to say I'm really sorry about Tom," Rachel said as a tear rolled down her cheek.
I looked away from her, trying to keep my face expressionless and trying to act like I had gotten over it. But Marco and Rachel knew me too well.
"Hey, man, it's not your fault, you know that don't you?" Marco said suddenly, looking at me with an unreadable expression.
"I never said it was," I said, keeping my voice level, even though I was shaking in the inside. "Did you want something?" I asked them a bit more harshly then I had intended.
"We just wanted to see if you were okay," Rachel sniffed.
"I'm fine. I've got to go," I attempted to move away, but Marco stepped out in front of me.
"Look, we're meeting at Cassie's barn when she finishes from school, we'll see you there all right?"
"Whatever," I said, walking around him and towards the mall.
