Title: Lists #2

By: Samantha Riddle

Disclaimer: I don't own hp, only the plot. Thnx.

Severus slammed a stack of parchment on the table in front of Hermione. She looked up at him in confusion. He signed, "Reciprocation from last Christmas, deary." With a sweeps of his volumous robes, he left her gaping at him. Hermione growled and picked up the first parchment.

"How To Get Granger Laid." She muttered to herself, "Oh, very touching Snape." She snorted and continued to read through the lists he made within only a few months. Her eyes widened as she read the last one. "How To Make Granger Scream My Name Like A Banshee!" she slammed the lists down on the table and walked into the library. "Severus Snape! I'm going to kick your arse!"

"Why? Whatever have I done?" he stared at her with mock innocence.

"You. Are. A. Despicable. Man. I. Hate. You. So. Much!" she stormed out of the room after making a rude hand gesture. Snape chuckled in amusement.

"Don't ever piss off a Snape, young lady. You will not like the outcome." Severus got up to check on his lover as she started throwing things in the den. "Oh, darling, I don't think Mrs. Black likes having people throw things in her house."

"Buggeroff Snape!" she threw a heavy book at him of which he nearly dodged. He didn't think the lists would make her that angry. He dodged several more items and a fist before capturing her and kissing her roughly. She struggled against him then finally let him take possession of her.

"Are you finished with your tantrum?" he drawled after he broke the kiss. Hermione's glare was pure venom and she promptly kneed him in the groin.

"Don't piss off a Granger, you won't like the out come." She whispered in his ear before apparating out of the house.

FIN---

A/N: hahahaaa I bet you didn't expect that! Muwahahahaaa. This is dedicated to RyanKathrynCelia because (she?) asked for a sequel. Lol. Well..Yeah. It's dumb but damn funny. Lol. Not cute at all. Just pure funny hell ness… oh, and this one was inspired by my friend and her boyfriend. The original Lists was my friend made a bunch of lists for like 3 years and she gave them to this guy she liked for Christmas and then a few months after they started going out, he did the same and she blew up at him and beat him up. I daresay he deserved it. I mean, c'mon, would you want your boyfriend to make a list of how to make you scream his name like a banshee? I wouldn't, I'd kill my baby if he ever did such a thing. Oh well review,

Much love,

Samantha