(Jacques has returned to Éponine, Gavroche, Enjolras, and the baby. Together they are devising a plan to overthrow the government and destroy the firing squad that is causing all of this trouble.)
Gavroche: Well, Enjolras got us into this blasted mess, so he should get us all out.
Enjolras: What? I thought we decided it was... well, never mind. I do have an idea, now that you mention it.
Éponine: Well? What is it?
Enjolras: Okay, first, we have to get them to come to us—you know, attract them. Cause some sort of disturbance, and I have a perfect idea. Then... we shoot them!
Jacques: That actually seems a pretty good plan. What's your idea to attract them?
Enjolras: Why, ripping up paving stones and building a barricade, of course!
Gavroche: Excellent!
Éponine: Hey, Gavroche, whatever happened to your boys?
Gavroche: My boys? (looks around) Search me! They're gone!
Éponine: Well, isn't that canon...
Enjolras: We'll need more troops! I'll go rally the people! I just love doing that...
Jacques: I'll come as well.
Gavroche: I'll pick a spot for the barricade!
Éponine: I guess I'll stay here with the baby.
(No one hears her, for all have gone off to do their jobs and put the plan into action.)
(Time passes, and later that evening Éponine joins the others at the barricade in the spot Gavroche chose. He has found his boys again, and Jacques and Enjolras return with a rather large group.)
Éponine: This is splendid! We'll have this whole thing solved before too long! Ah, yes, no one is alone.
(She sees a certain sexy murderer with a certain showgirl on his arm.)
Éponine: Montparnasse?
Montparnasse: (seeing her) Blast, I thought she was dead! Er... hey, 'Ponine! How are you?
Éponine: Who is that girl?
Montparnasse: Who, Lucy? She's my... ah... sister. Right Luce?
Lucy: Oh wow, it's Éponine! Éponine, I've always felt that we had a lot in common! I mean, that whole unrequited love thing, you know, and lots of cheesy ballads, and now sleeping with Montparnasse!
Éponine: (doubtfully) You're sleeping with your brother? Isn't that a little...
Montparnasse: Well, you know, my flat only has one mattress... But it's not like that!
Lucy: Why're you lying to the girl? She knows all about it, I'm sure. I mean, we points to the love triangle understand each other! Éponine and me, we're like... sisters! Is that okay, Éponine? I've always sort of looked to you as a sister. Do you think we could have that kind of relationship?
Éponine: How about a wife versus mistress relationship?
Lucy: Well, that doesn't sound as good, really...
Montparnasse: Éponine! Don't be so rude to my... sister...
Éponine: Oh, shut up, Montparnasse, I know she's not your sister! I mean, look at her! She's not even French!
Lucy: Well, yes, I'm English, but you and I could still be sisters! Come on, we have so much in common! 'Ponine—may I call you 'Ponine?
Éponine: No.
Lucy: I've always thought of you as—
Éponine: Alright, enough, so be it! So be it, then!
Montparnasse: What?
Lucy: What's wrong, sis?
Éponine: Just take her and go!
Montparnasse: Really?
Éponine: Yes! I don't want to see you anymore, 'Parnasse!
Lucy: How about me? You wanna see me, right?
Éponine: No.
Lucy: Montparnasse! You promised I could meet Éponine! You promised we'd be best friends forever!
Montparnasse: C'mon, Lucy... that was just to get you to... you know...
Lucy: Montparnasse! You lied to me! How could you do this? You're so hurtful!
(Lucy runs out front of the barricades, sobbing. Gunfire is heard.)
Enjolras: The National Guard has arrived! She was the first to fall... the first of us to fall upon this barricade!
Éponine: Now look what you've done!
Montparnasse: (to Enjolras) Her name was Lucy Harris. Her life was... well... I guess it was okay.
Enjolras: We fight here in her name! She will not die in vain! She will not be betrayed.
Éponine: How about me? I've been betrayed.
Montparnasse: Say... 'Ponine? I never really liked Lucy very much... she was really... um... She had me under a spell... It was all magic! I never meant to do anything like that!
Éponine: What you are trying to say, I believe, is that now Lucy is gone you want me back.
Montparnasse: (slightly surprised and relieved) Yeah, I do!
Éponine: Too bad.
Montparnasse: NOO! There are no other women left in Paris!
(Ma'am Huchelop, Chowder, and Fricassée wander past.)
Montparnasse: And yet, I'm not that desperate.
