Chapter 41
"Thomas! Thomas! Oh my God, Thomas! What happened here?! What happened to
Clare?!" Eva cried, running into the room. Kneeling down and staring in horror at Clare's
still body, she turned to her brother and cried, "Thomas! Why won't you do anything?!
Why won't you help her?! Help! HELP!!! Somebody, please help!"
Thomas stared blankly ahead, not hearing the frantic cries of his younger sister. "No..."
he whispered to himself, slowly shaking his head. "No, she's not dead. She can't be...
So why can't I feel her anymore...NO! NO NO NO!!!" he screamed, leaping to his feet.
Flinging the door open, he ran out of the room as fast as he could. "I won't believe it!
No, she can't be dead! She...she CAN'T be!"
"THOMAS!" Eva screamed, cradling Clare's head. "Thomas! Where are you going?!
Thomas, come back! Help her! Help me!"
Elsewhere, in the infirmary, Rayan's blank eyes cleared for the first time. "Cl-Clare?"
he whispered. "Oh no...CLARE!" he screamed in agony. Leaping off the bed, he tore down
the hallway before any of the shocked doctors could react. Reaching Clare's room, he
could only stare in shock at the scene before him.
"CLARE!!!"
a few minutes later...
Quatre stared in pain at his daughter's still form, then started when he felt a touch on
his arm. Turning around, he saw that it was Trowa. "Trowa, I-"
"Quatre..." he said quietly, taking in the various machines that Clare was
currently hooked up to. "Quatre, I don't know how to say this, but the doctors don't
think Clare's going to survive," he said gently.
Quatre nodded dumbly, then suddenly slumped forward. "Quatre!" Trowa cried, catching him
before he hit the floor. "Quatre..." he murmured sadly as he watched him begin to sob.
"How...how could I have not sensed it?" he said, his voice racked by sobs. "How
could I have not sensed her pain? I should have known when she first picked up the knife!
I should have felt her sorrow! So, why couldn't I? Why did I fail her?!" he cried
bitterly, consumed with pain and grief. "It's bad enough I almost lost my son to insanity,
but now this?! Why Trowa, WHY?!"
Outside, Rayan stared at a wall, blue eyes flinty and fists clenched. "Why?" he whispered
angrily. "Why did she...WHY WERE YOU SO STUPID?!" he howled, punching the wall. Feeling
a gentle brush on his shoulder, he whirled around angrily, "Leave me-Giselle..." he
sighed, bitter words dying on his lips.
Giselle didn't say a word, but her bright eyes said everything. Wrapping her arms around
her distraught boyfriend, she held him as Rayan fell to his knees, sorrowful tears
flowing from his eyes.
elsewhere...
Thomas ran madly through the brush, not caring where he went. Tripping over a tree
root, he fell heavily to the ground. He lay there for a few minutes before getting to his
hands and knees and slowly making his way over to a nearby stream. Splashing water on
his face, he stared blankly at his reflection, then fell backwards when another's
reflection appeared in the water.
"Clare! No," he whispered, closing his eyes. "No..." he said again, hiding his
face in his hands. "No, you're gone. You're gone forever..."
"Try again."
Blinking in surprise, Thomas jerked his head up and backwards towards the acerbic voice.
Dorothy Catalonia stood there, regarding the disheveled young man cooly. Thomas knew
how pathetic he looked, with his wild eyes, mussed hair, and tearstained face. Dorothy
was dressed immaculately, her long blond hair pulled back in a long ponytail, and a
shining fencing foil at her side. At seeing the foil, Thomas closed his eyes, waiting.
"Go ahead...Kill me. I killed her. I killed your daughter," he whispered.
"Clare's not dead. Not yet, anyway," Dorothy corrected briskly, casually tucking
back a stray strand of her hair. "No thanks to you, but she's still alive."
"She is? But then, why can't I-"
"-feel her in your mind? Probably because you've forced her out. She's too
ashamed to open herself up to you, and now it's killing her. Rejection from her life's
partner is more deadly than any knife." Bending down to Thomas' level, she said, "Do
you have any idea what Clare is?" Thomas said nothing.
Dorothy snorted. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she straightened. "I thought not.
Well, that's why I'm here.
"Many years ago, a young girl realized that she feel the thoughts of those close
to her. She had no brothers or sisters, but she had a mother and a father that she
loved very much. They, in turn, doted on her.
"When the girl was very young, her mother died from cancer. Slowly wasting away,
wracked with pain everyday, her emotions were laid bare to her terrified daughter. Her
pain was her daughter's pain, and when she finally died, the little girl felt as if she
herself had died.
"Not wanting to experience such pain again, the girl closed herself off. Or at
least, she tried. She successfully distanced herself from most of the people she knew,
but as hard as she tried, she could not keep herself from closing herself off from her
father. Her father was her life, and she realized that whoever she loved, she could feel
the thoughts of. Resigning herself to her fate, she stopped fighting her abilities.
"Years passed. The little girl grew into a teenager, and as she grew older, she
became even closer to her father. And of course, that meant that she could feel his
thoughts more clearly than before. But now, she saw nothing wrong with it. She secretly
delighted in knowing whenever her father would be throwing a surprise party for her, and
she loved to always be able to know how much he loved her.
"But her happiness did not last. As the years went by, she realized her father's
thoughts became increasingly clouded with thoughts of war, and although her father tried
to hide the truth from her, she realized that her world was about to spin out of control.
Finally, her father was called away to fight, and one terrible day, her father was killed in
battle. His daughter experienced every minute of it with him.
"That did it. Now an orphan, the girl became cold, bitter, and full of hate. She
vowed never to love anyone again. Love seemed to cause her only pain, and so, in an
attempt to revenge herself at the world, she plunged headfirst into the war her father had
tried to keep her from, hoping to make others feel the pain she did."
Dorothy paused for a moment, lost in thought, then sighed, "And so, when I finally met
Quatre in the Eve Wars, I couldn't believe there was someone else out there with abilities
like mine, and even more strange, he willingly embraced them. I? I tried everything I
could to suppress them. Quatre stood for everything I wished I could be deep down, and
because of that, I longed to be with him...but I hated him as well. Bitter, I tried to
defeat him, and when I couldn't, I seized the opportunity to kill him, sure that even if
I failed in that attempt, at least he would be so repulsed by me I would never have to see
him again.
"Famous last words. Instead of pushing me away, he tried to get even closer to me.
I spurned his efforts, angry at the fact that I knew he could detect all of my emotions,
and even more terrified at the fact that, even as I fought him, I could feel myself
slowly beginning to feel his thoughts as well, a sure sign that I was beginning to love him.
So after the Eve Wars, I disappeared.
"I thought I was finally rid of him. I made special efforts to be as far away from
him as possible, and when he didn't make any effort to find me afterwards, I thought I was
finally safe. But then came the Barton coup, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't stay
away from it. I knew the Gundam pilots would be there...I knew HE would be there too, and
I just couldn't keep myself away.
"I finally reached Brussels, just in time for the battle. And just like before,
he could sense that I was there. His emotions rushed through me: He knew he was fighting
an impossible battle, but he still fought. He fought, knowing that he was outnumbered,
knowing that he would probably die, all for a people that scorned him. And so I watched
him; I watched the cowards that meekly waited for themselves to be subjected to Mariemaia's
rule. And I was filled with anger. I furiously denounced their cowardice; I challenged;
I scolded; and in my own way, I begged. I begged these ignorant people to see the truth,
to realize the tyranny that would befall them if they refused to fight. And so, just as
the Gundams fought their battle, so I fought mine. And as I did so, I knew that he was
listening. I felt his surprise, then gratitude, and when the battle was finally over, I
knew that I could hide from him no more."
Finishing, Dorothy looked at Thomas with shrewd eyes. "THIS is what kind of person
Clare is. She'll feel every emotion of the one she loves. And, in return, her own
thoughts, emotions, and actions are laid bare. It is the most complete form of love there
is. You've felt it, haven't you?" she challenged him, and when he nodded hesitantly, she
said scornfully, "But you weren't willing to accept it, now were you? You didn't want to
have to deal with her and her abilities. She was willing to love you with everything she
had, but to you, she was just a freak. Isn't that so?"
"No!" Thomas exploded. "She's no freak! But...but I'm only fifteen years old!
What do you want me to do? I can't commit myself this early-"
"Your parents knew they were right for each other as soon as they met!" she
snapped. Stooping down, she forced him to look at her. "Thomas Maxwell," she said quietly,
"do you love Clare? Can you deny the truth even from yourself?"
"How did you know?" he said miserably, wiping away his tears.
Dorothy tossed her head. Standing up, she said, "I'm her mother. I know these things,
empathic powers or not. The question is now then, what are you going to do about it?"
"What can I do? I killed her," he said miserably. "If she's not dead yet, she'll
be dead soon-Hey!" he yelped as the foil swept an inch above his head.
"Idiot!" Dorothy snarled, her patience fading. "Use that head of yours! There's
only one person in this world right now that can save her, and that person is you! And
don't even try to play cute with me, we both know that you know it. You are her LIFE'S
PARTNER. Your spirits are one. One cannot live without the other. Your rejection of her
harms her more than any blade in the world can, so go fix it! Come on, get UP!" she
said, reaching and yanking him up by the arm. Glaring at him, she said, "Do you want to
do this or not?"
Yanking his arm free, he said angrily, "Of course I do! But...but what if I'm just an
idiot? I've hurt her once already, and if I mess up again, I'll...I'll kill her!"
Dorothy sighed, her anger fading. Sheathing her foil, she said, "Your father, amazingly
enough, has an IQ of 177, and if nothing else, your mother has three times the amount of
common sense he has. It's impossible for you to be stupid. Now, are you coming back with
me or not?" At his tentative nod, she said briskly, "Good!" and unsheathed her foil once
again. "Oh, stop that look," she said coldly at his shocked expression. Waving the blade
around, she said, "I never planned on running you through. I just brought this to hack
away all those plants that were in my way. Though," and she glanced at the trampled
brush, "you did a pretty good job of blazing a path, even if it was unintentional. Now
march!"
elsewhere...
Somewhere, between life and death, Clare felt herself slowing falling. Her eyes were not
open, but she knew there was nothing to see. Darkness surrounded her, complete and total
darkness. Finally, however, she felt herself hit water. With a gentle splash, she fell
into the water and begin to sink. Her hair and clothes billowed out around her, and she
could feel a current slowly pushing her. The water was cool to touch; she could not drown
in it. Slowly, she opened her eyes. The waters were clear, but everything still seemed
hazy. Her eyes couldn't seem to focus on anything. "Where am I?" she murmured,
then closed her eyes again. "It doesn't matter," she sighed, relaxing under the river's
gentle touch. "It'll be over soon," she thought. "Then I won't have to feel, won't have
to think..."
elsewhere...
As Thomas was hurrying back, a vision suddenly appeared in his head. "Clare..." he
whispered softly, his eyes unfocusing: He saw Clare falling through the darkness, he saw
Clare falling into a river, he saw her being carried along through the river, and suddenly,
he could see a waterfall in the distance, the bridge that would take her away from the
realm of the living and into the world of the dead. "No," he said fiercely, breaking into a
run. "Not yet...You won't take her away from me!" Running faster than before, he
whispered, "River of death, don't take her away from me just yet. I'm coming to take her
back to where she belongs. Clare, wait for me. I'm coming."
"Thomas! Thomas! Oh my God, Thomas! What happened here?! What happened to
Clare?!" Eva cried, running into the room. Kneeling down and staring in horror at Clare's
still body, she turned to her brother and cried, "Thomas! Why won't you do anything?!
Why won't you help her?! Help! HELP!!! Somebody, please help!"
Thomas stared blankly ahead, not hearing the frantic cries of his younger sister. "No..."
he whispered to himself, slowly shaking his head. "No, she's not dead. She can't be...
So why can't I feel her anymore...NO! NO NO NO!!!" he screamed, leaping to his feet.
Flinging the door open, he ran out of the room as fast as he could. "I won't believe it!
No, she can't be dead! She...she CAN'T be!"
"THOMAS!" Eva screamed, cradling Clare's head. "Thomas! Where are you going?!
Thomas, come back! Help her! Help me!"
Elsewhere, in the infirmary, Rayan's blank eyes cleared for the first time. "Cl-Clare?"
he whispered. "Oh no...CLARE!" he screamed in agony. Leaping off the bed, he tore down
the hallway before any of the shocked doctors could react. Reaching Clare's room, he
could only stare in shock at the scene before him.
"CLARE!!!"
a few minutes later...
Quatre stared in pain at his daughter's still form, then started when he felt a touch on
his arm. Turning around, he saw that it was Trowa. "Trowa, I-"
"Quatre..." he said quietly, taking in the various machines that Clare was
currently hooked up to. "Quatre, I don't know how to say this, but the doctors don't
think Clare's going to survive," he said gently.
Quatre nodded dumbly, then suddenly slumped forward. "Quatre!" Trowa cried, catching him
before he hit the floor. "Quatre..." he murmured sadly as he watched him begin to sob.
"How...how could I have not sensed it?" he said, his voice racked by sobs. "How
could I have not sensed her pain? I should have known when she first picked up the knife!
I should have felt her sorrow! So, why couldn't I? Why did I fail her?!" he cried
bitterly, consumed with pain and grief. "It's bad enough I almost lost my son to insanity,
but now this?! Why Trowa, WHY?!"
Outside, Rayan stared at a wall, blue eyes flinty and fists clenched. "Why?" he whispered
angrily. "Why did she...WHY WERE YOU SO STUPID?!" he howled, punching the wall. Feeling
a gentle brush on his shoulder, he whirled around angrily, "Leave me-Giselle..." he
sighed, bitter words dying on his lips.
Giselle didn't say a word, but her bright eyes said everything. Wrapping her arms around
her distraught boyfriend, she held him as Rayan fell to his knees, sorrowful tears
flowing from his eyes.
elsewhere...
Thomas ran madly through the brush, not caring where he went. Tripping over a tree
root, he fell heavily to the ground. He lay there for a few minutes before getting to his
hands and knees and slowly making his way over to a nearby stream. Splashing water on
his face, he stared blankly at his reflection, then fell backwards when another's
reflection appeared in the water.
"Clare! No," he whispered, closing his eyes. "No..." he said again, hiding his
face in his hands. "No, you're gone. You're gone forever..."
"Try again."
Blinking in surprise, Thomas jerked his head up and backwards towards the acerbic voice.
Dorothy Catalonia stood there, regarding the disheveled young man cooly. Thomas knew
how pathetic he looked, with his wild eyes, mussed hair, and tearstained face. Dorothy
was dressed immaculately, her long blond hair pulled back in a long ponytail, and a
shining fencing foil at her side. At seeing the foil, Thomas closed his eyes, waiting.
"Go ahead...Kill me. I killed her. I killed your daughter," he whispered.
"Clare's not dead. Not yet, anyway," Dorothy corrected briskly, casually tucking
back a stray strand of her hair. "No thanks to you, but she's still alive."
"She is? But then, why can't I-"
"-feel her in your mind? Probably because you've forced her out. She's too
ashamed to open herself up to you, and now it's killing her. Rejection from her life's
partner is more deadly than any knife." Bending down to Thomas' level, she said, "Do
you have any idea what Clare is?" Thomas said nothing.
Dorothy snorted. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she straightened. "I thought not.
Well, that's why I'm here.
"Many years ago, a young girl realized that she feel the thoughts of those close
to her. She had no brothers or sisters, but she had a mother and a father that she
loved very much. They, in turn, doted on her.
"When the girl was very young, her mother died from cancer. Slowly wasting away,
wracked with pain everyday, her emotions were laid bare to her terrified daughter. Her
pain was her daughter's pain, and when she finally died, the little girl felt as if she
herself had died.
"Not wanting to experience such pain again, the girl closed herself off. Or at
least, she tried. She successfully distanced herself from most of the people she knew,
but as hard as she tried, she could not keep herself from closing herself off from her
father. Her father was her life, and she realized that whoever she loved, she could feel
the thoughts of. Resigning herself to her fate, she stopped fighting her abilities.
"Years passed. The little girl grew into a teenager, and as she grew older, she
became even closer to her father. And of course, that meant that she could feel his
thoughts more clearly than before. But now, she saw nothing wrong with it. She secretly
delighted in knowing whenever her father would be throwing a surprise party for her, and
she loved to always be able to know how much he loved her.
"But her happiness did not last. As the years went by, she realized her father's
thoughts became increasingly clouded with thoughts of war, and although her father tried
to hide the truth from her, she realized that her world was about to spin out of control.
Finally, her father was called away to fight, and one terrible day, her father was killed in
battle. His daughter experienced every minute of it with him.
"That did it. Now an orphan, the girl became cold, bitter, and full of hate. She
vowed never to love anyone again. Love seemed to cause her only pain, and so, in an
attempt to revenge herself at the world, she plunged headfirst into the war her father had
tried to keep her from, hoping to make others feel the pain she did."
Dorothy paused for a moment, lost in thought, then sighed, "And so, when I finally met
Quatre in the Eve Wars, I couldn't believe there was someone else out there with abilities
like mine, and even more strange, he willingly embraced them. I? I tried everything I
could to suppress them. Quatre stood for everything I wished I could be deep down, and
because of that, I longed to be with him...but I hated him as well. Bitter, I tried to
defeat him, and when I couldn't, I seized the opportunity to kill him, sure that even if
I failed in that attempt, at least he would be so repulsed by me I would never have to see
him again.
"Famous last words. Instead of pushing me away, he tried to get even closer to me.
I spurned his efforts, angry at the fact that I knew he could detect all of my emotions,
and even more terrified at the fact that, even as I fought him, I could feel myself
slowly beginning to feel his thoughts as well, a sure sign that I was beginning to love him.
So after the Eve Wars, I disappeared.
"I thought I was finally rid of him. I made special efforts to be as far away from
him as possible, and when he didn't make any effort to find me afterwards, I thought I was
finally safe. But then came the Barton coup, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't stay
away from it. I knew the Gundam pilots would be there...I knew HE would be there too, and
I just couldn't keep myself away.
"I finally reached Brussels, just in time for the battle. And just like before,
he could sense that I was there. His emotions rushed through me: He knew he was fighting
an impossible battle, but he still fought. He fought, knowing that he was outnumbered,
knowing that he would probably die, all for a people that scorned him. And so I watched
him; I watched the cowards that meekly waited for themselves to be subjected to Mariemaia's
rule. And I was filled with anger. I furiously denounced their cowardice; I challenged;
I scolded; and in my own way, I begged. I begged these ignorant people to see the truth,
to realize the tyranny that would befall them if they refused to fight. And so, just as
the Gundams fought their battle, so I fought mine. And as I did so, I knew that he was
listening. I felt his surprise, then gratitude, and when the battle was finally over, I
knew that I could hide from him no more."
Finishing, Dorothy looked at Thomas with shrewd eyes. "THIS is what kind of person
Clare is. She'll feel every emotion of the one she loves. And, in return, her own
thoughts, emotions, and actions are laid bare. It is the most complete form of love there
is. You've felt it, haven't you?" she challenged him, and when he nodded hesitantly, she
said scornfully, "But you weren't willing to accept it, now were you? You didn't want to
have to deal with her and her abilities. She was willing to love you with everything she
had, but to you, she was just a freak. Isn't that so?"
"No!" Thomas exploded. "She's no freak! But...but I'm only fifteen years old!
What do you want me to do? I can't commit myself this early-"
"Your parents knew they were right for each other as soon as they met!" she
snapped. Stooping down, she forced him to look at her. "Thomas Maxwell," she said quietly,
"do you love Clare? Can you deny the truth even from yourself?"
"How did you know?" he said miserably, wiping away his tears.
Dorothy tossed her head. Standing up, she said, "I'm her mother. I know these things,
empathic powers or not. The question is now then, what are you going to do about it?"
"What can I do? I killed her," he said miserably. "If she's not dead yet, she'll
be dead soon-Hey!" he yelped as the foil swept an inch above his head.
"Idiot!" Dorothy snarled, her patience fading. "Use that head of yours! There's
only one person in this world right now that can save her, and that person is you! And
don't even try to play cute with me, we both know that you know it. You are her LIFE'S
PARTNER. Your spirits are one. One cannot live without the other. Your rejection of her
harms her more than any blade in the world can, so go fix it! Come on, get UP!" she
said, reaching and yanking him up by the arm. Glaring at him, she said, "Do you want to
do this or not?"
Yanking his arm free, he said angrily, "Of course I do! But...but what if I'm just an
idiot? I've hurt her once already, and if I mess up again, I'll...I'll kill her!"
Dorothy sighed, her anger fading. Sheathing her foil, she said, "Your father, amazingly
enough, has an IQ of 177, and if nothing else, your mother has three times the amount of
common sense he has. It's impossible for you to be stupid. Now, are you coming back with
me or not?" At his tentative nod, she said briskly, "Good!" and unsheathed her foil once
again. "Oh, stop that look," she said coldly at his shocked expression. Waving the blade
around, she said, "I never planned on running you through. I just brought this to hack
away all those plants that were in my way. Though," and she glanced at the trampled
brush, "you did a pretty good job of blazing a path, even if it was unintentional. Now
march!"
elsewhere...
Somewhere, between life and death, Clare felt herself slowing falling. Her eyes were not
open, but she knew there was nothing to see. Darkness surrounded her, complete and total
darkness. Finally, however, she felt herself hit water. With a gentle splash, she fell
into the water and begin to sink. Her hair and clothes billowed out around her, and she
could feel a current slowly pushing her. The water was cool to touch; she could not drown
in it. Slowly, she opened her eyes. The waters were clear, but everything still seemed
hazy. Her eyes couldn't seem to focus on anything. "Where am I?" she murmured,
then closed her eyes again. "It doesn't matter," she sighed, relaxing under the river's
gentle touch. "It'll be over soon," she thought. "Then I won't have to feel, won't have
to think..."
elsewhere...
As Thomas was hurrying back, a vision suddenly appeared in his head. "Clare..." he
whispered softly, his eyes unfocusing: He saw Clare falling through the darkness, he saw
Clare falling into a river, he saw her being carried along through the river, and suddenly,
he could see a waterfall in the distance, the bridge that would take her away from the
realm of the living and into the world of the dead. "No," he said fiercely, breaking into a
run. "Not yet...You won't take her away from me!" Running faster than before, he
whispered, "River of death, don't take her away from me just yet. I'm coming to take her
back to where she belongs. Clare, wait for me. I'm coming."
