A/N: Hi, this is Erin, or buffygirl52789 here on fanfiction. The first page of this chapter was done by Amanda (lilsoccercutie55) and Kitty (Sanity Fair) in an rp, but the rest was written by me. I hope you like it!
A/N 2: This story is set in Buffy season 2, sometime after Ted but before Surprise. Basically this is going to be an alternate version of the Bangel relationship starting from that point.
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Chapter 2
Buffy picked up the rose and stared at it. She knew who it was from even more as she read the note. With things like this how was she ever going to be able to find the willpower to resist?
Willow knocked on the Summers' door, hoping Buffy was ready for school. She knew this was a slim chance because rarely was she ready on time.
Buffy in fact was not ready, and as she heard the familiar knock at her door she dashed around the house to gather her things. Finally she swung the door open, slightly flustered. "Hey, Will," she said, not realizing she was still holding the rose.
Willow immediately caught eye of the red flower and smiled. "I see you saw Angel last night," she said, giggling as she pulled Buffy out the door.
Buffy laughed herself, "Yeah, I did, but I still don't know if it was a happy visit or yet another complicated one."
"Was there any, ya know kissing?" she asked, blushing when she said the word kissing.
"Well, there was some," Buffy said thoughtfully, "but it was mostly just staring and silence." She left out the part about Angel and her on the bed, she didn't even think she was ready to accept it herself.
Willow nodded in understanding, deciding to change the subject. "Wasn't the history homework easy? I am so ready for the test today," Willow commented confidently, hoping Buffy had remembered to study.
Buffy slapped a hand to her forehead. "I can't believe I forgot. I mean I was planning on studying, I just wasn't exactly planning on Angel visiting either." She shook her head as they entered the school. It was going to be a long day.
Willow patted Buffy on the back to reassure her it was going to be okay. "Have you seen Xander in a while, the only time I see him lately is with Cordelia. And that thought is just creepy," Willow said shaking her head in disbelief.
As if on cue Xander walked up. "Ladies, Willow," he teased and then smirked, "You are looking at someone who is going to ace that test today."
"Am I the only one who hasn't studied," Buffy said gloomily.
Willow shot a death glare at Xander for bringing up the test. "So where is your sidekick?" Willow asked sarcastically, referring to Cordelia.
Xander rolled his eyes. "You mean little miss who likes to put me down in public, she's around...somewhere." Buffy tuned them out as they entered the first class of the day.
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"So I would say that we should remain business as usual until we find out for sure if the prophecy is indeed pertaining to this particular evening...Buffy? Buffy?"
Buffy snapped out of her trance as Giles's voice awoke her with a start. "What?"
Giles gave her a stern look. "I was just explaining to you how it is possible that the demon prince Razarius will rise tonight, but obviously you have more important things to think about."
Buffy looked at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry." Truth was she had been thinking about nothing but last night with Angel all day. Even during her history test, which she was certain she had failed. Last night things had just...escalated beyond anything they had ever been before, and she was still trying to figure out how she felt about that.
Giles sighed and began to pace around the room. "I was saying that I am not certain if he is indeed due to rise tonight, the translation of this particular prophecy is a bit sketchy."
"Well what do you want me to do?" Buffy asked politely.
"If he is due to rise, we have no idea where it shall occur. So, as I was saying while you chose to not listen, you should proceed with your usual patrol, but keep an extra eye about," Giles instructed.
Willow and Xander walked into the library, setting their books down on the table. "What's going on? Big evil?" Willow asked curiously, taking a seat next to Buffy.
"The only evil I witnessed today was that history test. I mean, how were we supposed to know she was going to ask questions about the Crimean War?" Xander complained.
Willow raised an eyebrow. "Maybe because Mrs. Tompkins said yesterday that we should be sure to study that chapter."
Xander looked down. "Well she can't expect us to know that when she knows that no one pays attention."
Giles cleared his throat, bringing them back to the subject at hand. "We are trying to deduce if the demon prince Razarius will in fact rise tonight, and if so, where."
Willow looked at Buffy. "Why don't you ask Angel? He knows a lot about some of these demon guys," she suggested innocently.
Buffy narrowed her eyes. Willow didn't really get how confused her feelings towards Angel were right now. Mostly because she hadn't told her the whole story of what had happened last night, but she wouldn't have understood anyway. Willow had never really been in a relationship before, besides when she dated Xander back in kindergarten. She couldn't expect her to get these really complicated feelings she had towards Angel as their relationship became more intense. "I don't know, I think Angel's...busy."
She ignored the strange look Willow gave her as Giles chimed in. "Willow has an excellent suggestion, perhaps Angel has heard of this particular demon before. He could be of some help."
Buffy sighed. "Okay, I'll stop by his place on my way out to patrol." She quickly rose from her seat. "I should be getting home, should make an appearance for mom before I head out for the night."
Willow frowned slightly. She knew when Buffy was keeping things from her. "Okay. We'll talk later."
"I'll contact you if we come up with anything," Giles added.
Buffy nodded and waved goodbye to the three of them before hastily exiting the library.
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Buffy hesitated before knocking on the door to Angel's apartment. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be here or not. Part of her wanted desperately to see him, and to kiss him and feel him. But part of her wanted to stay away because she was afraid of what her feelings for him were turning into.
You're here on a mission, the demon prince guy, she reminded herself as she knocked.
He opened the door a second later. He smiled when he saw her. "Buffy. I'm so glad to see you." He opened the door wider so she could enter. She walked in, keeping her eyes straight ahead.
She spun around to look at him. "I'm actually here on business. Demon prince Razarius, Giles thinks he might be rising tonight or something, but we don't know anything else. We were hoping you could help."
Angel frowned slightly. "Doesn't ring a bell."
Buffy nodded. "Okay. We were just wondering." She glanced at the door.
"Buffy, are you okay? You seem a little...anxious." He took a step closer to her.
She took a deep breath as he came closer. He smelled so good...focus Buffy, she told herself. "I'm fine. It's just...been a long day."
He came even closer and placed his hands on her waist. "Maybe I can make it better..." he leaned in and kissed her softly.
The second he touched her she felt almost all of her doubts and insecurities slip away. She relaxed and kissed him back. She felt his hand move down her back, sending a tingle up her spine. "You feel so good..." Buffy said. She remembered now why it had been so hard to resist him the previous night. She jolted back to reality a little when his hand reached under her shirt, touching her bare back. She inadvertently pulled back.
"Buffy...I'm sorry, I got carried away," Angel said quickly, pulling his hands back. "I didn't mean to..."
"I know. It's not your fault, I'm just..." she closed her eyes. "I'm just a little jumpy, because I've been thinking a lot about our relationship, and where it's going. Especially after last night."
Angel suddenly understood why she had been acting so strange. "OH. Okay. Buffy, you know that I would never...push you..."
"Angel, I know. Believe me, that's not the problem here. The problem is me. I don't know what I want. I don't know if I'm ready for our relationship to go beyond kissing. I hadn't even thought about it too much until last night, on my bed..." her voice trailed off.
Angel didn't really know what to say. "I've thought about it too. And I'm sorry that I've been getting carried away lately, it's just that every time I see you it gets harder...to hold back." Without really meaning to he stepped closer to her again.
"I know...I just feel so drawn to you...all the time..." Before either of them knew it they were kissing again, this time more passionately. He lifted her off the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked over so she was pinned to the door. Hands started roaming and after a minute or so Angel backed off, setting her back down on the floor.
"Wow..." He just stared at her.
Buffy looked him in the eyes. "See? This is why I'm so confused. When you're kissing me and holding me I don't really think rationally. And I don't know how I feel yet about where this is all headed. I just...need to think."
Angel nodded. "Definitely. I don't want to...rush into anything you're not ready for."
Buffy noticed his use of the word "you're." Did that mean he wanted her? But then again sex wasn't exactly a big issue for him, he had been more or less alive for over two hundred years, and he had been with lots of girls...
"I just think I need a little space. Just some time to think things through," Buffy continued. "It's just so confusing to be around you right now."
Angel nodded, trying to hide his disappointment. "I understand. Take all the time you need. Just know that I'm here. And that I..." he briefly considered saying it, but decided that this wasn't the right time. "That I care about you."
She managed a small smile. "I know." They both silently contemplated a goodbye kiss, but realized that could get way out of control, with how things had been lately. "Well...I guess I'll see you."
"Bye," Angel said quietly. She left, leaving him to stare the at the closed door. "I love you," he whispered when she was already gone.
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"Oh, hello Bunny," Sheila Rosenberg said absentmindedly when Buffy rang the doorbell fifteen minutes later. "Willow's in her room."
"Thanks," Buffy said, walking down the hall. She entered Willow's open door. Her best friend was sitting on her bed, reading their history assignment. "Will, I'm so sorry for coming over all sudden like this but I really need to talk to you. I didn't know where else to go," she said desperately, closing the door behind her.
Willow instantly ditched the history book and sat cross legged on her bed, looking at Buffy expectantly. "You know I don't mind. So what happened with Angel?"
"Was I that obvious?" Buffy groaned. She sat down next to her. "Will, I'm just so confused. I have all these new feelings, and I think I want to go with them when we're actually there in the moment, but then I stand back and think about it and I wonder if I've gone crazy! Because I don't know what I want anymore," she rushed.
"Ya wanna translate for me?" Willow said politely.
Buffy sighed. "Okay. I'm thinking about having sex with Angel."
Willow coughed suddenly, like she was choking on something although there was nothing in her mouth. "Are you okay?" Buffy asked nervously.
Willow nodded quickly. "Uh, yeah. You just sorta surprised me a little."
Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just so confused. Things have been getting...more passionate between Angel and I. Last night he was at my house, and he kind of saw me naked without meaning to, and then we kind of ended up on the bed..." she noticed how wide her friend's eyes had gotten. "But I stopped it. Nothing really happened."
"But you think you wanted it to?" Willow asked.
"See, that's the thing! I really don't know. When we're there, in the moment, it seems so right, and I really just want to go with it. But then I stop and think about it for a second, and I don't know if I'm ready for that."
"Have you talked to Angel about this?" Willow asked.
Buffy nodded. "Sort of. Just now, I stopped by his place, and we started kissing, and then I stopped it again, and I told him how I'm confused. He just said that he understands and that he would never push me to do anything I don't want to do."
To Buffy's surprise, Willow smiled a little. "Carpe diem. You told me that once, remember?"
Buffy did remember. "So...you think we should..."
"Buffy, here's how I see it. You do want to be with Angel. But you're so used to having to be rational and grown up. I mean, you're the slayer. You have to make some pretty big decisions. So I think that you know what you want deep down, and you're just too responsible to just go with your feelings," Willow said simply.
Buffy considered that for a moment. "So you're saying that I should just not hold back anymore?"
"I think you already know the answer. Buffy, you really just need to follow your heart with this. I mean, this is really big. I don't know how much I can help you."
Buffy gave her a wry smile. "Why do you always have to be so wise?"
Willow grinned back. "That's what I'm here for."
Buffy reached out and gave her a hug. "Thanks Will. I don't know what I would do without you."
"I'm glad I could help. You just have to promise me one thing," she replied.
"What?" Buffy asked.
Willow grinned at her. "Whatever you decide, you have to tell me all about it."
Buffy smiled back. "I will."
They said their goodbyes and Buffy stood out on the sidewalk in front of the Rosenberg home. The night was still fairly young. She could either go on her regular patrol, go back to the library to see where Giles was on the demon prince front, or she could go back to Angel's. She smiled as she set off down the street, her mind made up as to where she was headed.
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TBC!
Reviews would be appreciated. Have fun with the next chapter Amanda!
