Disclaimer- Dooooooood, 'tisn't mine….

AN- Reviewreviewreviewreview! I GOT LOTS OF THEM! (counts on fingers… runs out of fingers)…. If I run out of fingers, it means I got double-digit reviews! I am prancing! Pranceprance! From now on, I'm only updating during the nondenominational winter holiday! I HAVE LEARNED! (falls over dead).

This chapter was written in a daze around two AM, so I cannot be blamed for any… issues. In any case, I can't vouch that anyone will understand how Shuuichi feels here. Hmmm… And the failureful admissions of "liking" come out in this chapter. Just as a warning.

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inoritai koto ga aru hitotsu dake

asa wo matsu shizukesa no naka de

dare ni? doko ni? kamisama nee iru no?

watashi no taiyou wa asu mo noborimasu ka?

nee oshiete... dareka kotaete...

there's just one thing I want to pray for

in the silence as I wait for dawn

to whom? where to? god… are you there?

will my sun rise again tomorrow?

please tell me… someone answer me…

(watashi no taiyou (Kokia))

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The line between flaws and perfection is so thin, it mesmerizes. We watch the people we worship fall with an almost morbid fascination. Those who have never failed do so in a most spectacular manner, because they cannot see beyond what they once had. They can rise once more, but the glass has been broken, and the brilliant flowering of cracks will remain.

Entropy: to repair something, something greater must be sacrificed.

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"Oi, Minamino."

Shuuichi blinked as a hand moved in front of his face, waving back and forth. His vision cleared after a moment, and he saw Kaitou standing by his desk, staring intently.

"Hmmmm?" he asked lazily.

The linguist's mouth opened for a moment before closing again with an almost audible slam. He motioned Shuuichi to look at the list on the wall, which the redhead did obediently, raising green eyes faded from lack of sleep.

One. Kaitou Yuu. 493 points.

Two. Minamino Shuuichi. 490 points…

Second. He was second.

His breath came now in short gasps, quickly brought back under control. Ha, it was a funny joke they'd set up for him, wasn't it? But nobody was laughing, and nobody smiled back when he forced his face to look at least vaguely pleasant. Oh god, it was a dream; it had to be. He wouldn't cry. Not over three filthy points, not over numbers that were all going to be gone when he woke up.

"Show me your test sheet." There was no answer, so he picked it up himself. "So many mistakes in calculation… It's somehow like you, but… so many. Why didn't you see…"

Shuuichi nearly choked. For some reason, he wanted to pick Kaitou up and shake him until his brains exploded, for the sin of not knowing. He'd been worrying for Hiei, who came to school with wounds that must have been beyond agony, and when he worried, he felt guilty, because he knew his mother was dying.

Dying. What were three points to a child about to lose the only person who had ever mattered to him? If Shiori's last memory of her son was that he had failed her, what would he do? The thought was actually comforting, as he was naïve enough to believe that no god could possibly have been cruel enough to ruin him so completely.

"It's no big deal," he reminded Kaitou with a graceful smile. "Just three points, ne? I'll cream you next time."

He'd always been a good actor.

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"Hieisan? Please… can I walk home with you?"

Hiei crammed the last papers into his bag with a moderately confused expression. "Umm… I suppose. It's a free country. Why do you want to?"

"I…" He made random hand motions to indicate his inability to express his intentions before changing the subject. "I was wondering about you. I mean, those look really painful." His long, slender fingers, the fingers of a pianist, traced a bruise he would never have noticed just weeks earlier.

"Fun. I've had worse." (Fun hn. There is no "h" sound in Japanese all by its lonesome). "Say, won't your mother worry if you're not home on time?"

Instantly Hiei knew he'd hit a very bad topic, as Shuuichi's face contorted.

"She will… but I can't face her."

"Why?" Hiei cocked his head. He'd always seen Shuuichi's relationship with his mother as the pinnacle of all relationships. "Oh, don't tell me this is about that stupid class ranking. If that's it, you've got no worries. At least she won't beat you for it." A bitter laugh came from his mouth, incongruous with his childish features.

"I feel like… like I've let her down." Tears threatened to spill over, and he wiped them away before continuing. "She's always had such ambitions, and I try, I really do. Do you know what my name means?"

"What, Minamino?" It seemed like a random query, but Hiei thought for a moment. "Well, eastern ambition is what I'd come up with on the spot, but—"

"No, 'Shuuichi'. You've seen it, right?" Raising a finger, he traced it in the air as they walked. "Shuu is the kanji in 'hiideteiru', to excel. And ichi-" He slashed one horizontal line, "-means one. First."

"So… sonna no…" In all these months of seeing the name, he'd never really associated it with a meaning. Shuuichi was right… Someone with a name like that was never meant to defer to anyone else. To try to live up to that was an impossible task for even the best of the best.

"Do I look different, Hiei?"

"Huh?" The strangeness of the question caught him off guard, along with the sudden yobisute (dropping –san and just using the given name; yes, the Japanese have a word for it).

"I'm still the same person, right?"

"I would assume so, yes…"

"Then why do I feel so useless? I should still be 'Minamino Shuuichi', but I can't be. He isn't ever second best. But why should it matter? I mean… dammit… why should it be so different if I'm the same person?"

"It's okay," Hiei said, shrugging. "Maybe it isn't actually that different."

This idea seemed to be revolutionary to Shuuichi, who continued the walk in silence, mulling the whole thing over. They were nearly at Hiei's apartment before he thought to speak again.

"Hiei… thank you."

"Now what?"

"For listening to me. I know you have way bigger problems than I do, but you're the only one I can really…"

"Please, I'm drowning in sap."

"I'm being serious," he said pointedly, though a small grin decorated his face. Hiei could not have possibly known how funny he was… "I really like you, ya know," he went on.

"Yeah yeah, me too," Hiei muttered.

Having carefully tested the water (sort of), Shuuichi dove straight in.

"No, I really like you."

"Yeah, yeah… come again?"

The deed done, he suddenly began to fidget and speak very agitatedly. "I really like you. I mean, if you don't feel the same way I'll pretend this never happened, if you want, that is, but I just wanted to say… 'cause you've helped me a lot and I guess… I'm just babbling now, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are."

A pause.

Silence.

"Well, say something!"

"You wouldn't be lying, by any chance, would you?" Hiei asked carefully.

"No, of course not! Why would I-" Realization dawned. "Oh. I see. Hiei, I promise you, if I try to hurt you, ever, you have permission to kill me."

"Really truly?"

"… Yeah." Something about Hiei's eagerness bothered Shuuichi.

"With a katana?"

"Ummm…. Yeah."

"And a toy lightsaber?"

"You know, there's a line around here somewhere, and you shouldn't cross it…"

"Say yes!"

"Fine, if it makes you happy." Shuuichi gave him a suspicious look. "I don't know why you would have a toy lightsaber or what you would possibly do with it, but maybe it's best I live in ignorance."

"Darn straight! You have yourself a deal!"

"It's not a deal, Hiei."

"Really?" He cracked up, insanely happy for reasons he didn't quite comprehend.

"Uh huh. Well… thanks again. I really feel better now, but I have to get back. See you 'round." Shuuichi turned around, adjusting his bag.

"The lightsaber really lights up, you know."

Walking out the door, he raised his eyebrows. "Good bye."

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Hiei wandered toward his room, whistling a random song to himself. In fact, he was hyper enough to maybe even overlook the fact that he had just tripped over a newly emptied beer bottle, which had crashed near his feet.

"So."

He fell silent instantly, looking up. "F… Father."

"So not only is my son a failure and a disgrace, but he's a fag on top of it." Kizato stood up shakily, from both the alcohol and his anger. "I should have killed you before. I will kill you, and save everyone else the trouble."

His voice came out as a faint breath of wind. "No…"

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Shuuichi stopped halfway to his house, with the most horrible premonition.

Hiei

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Wow, that took ages. Sorry about it. And sorry that the "romance" is so lame. But it's not like they would really have suddenly gone all huggy-kissy, you know. … Right?

If you're curious about Shuuichi's nervous breakdown, that's the mirror of the beginning of this school year for me. I have written in one notebook, in huge letters, "What happens when perfection cannot live up to its own ideal?". I know what happens, and someone who has never had everything can't fully appreciate the pain.

Oh well. That's not the point. The point is that Hiei's gonna die if Shuuichi doesn't get there in time. Which he will, though. Maybe. Possibly. Would I be so cruel?? Bwahahahaha.

Reviews are the happiest things that ever happened to me. Plus, I need support, as this is the first time I ever got around to even hinting that people liked each other. (puppy dog eyes) Pretty please with a plushie on top?