If Tomorrow Never Comes.

Gina rested her head against the cool wood of her desk as a thousand thoughts pushed their way through her head, all fighting for control. Her cancer, Smithy, Adam, the job, chemo…the list was endless and there was always one more thing that needed her full attention and truth be known she was tired. Tired of the responsibility, tired of the pain and the hassle, tired of having to force herself to continue when all she wanted to do was curl up and cry.

But she was Gina Gold. And Gina Gold didn't cry. And she certainly didn't give in.


"Alright you miserable lot!" Gina stood in front of the gathered officers in the briefing room and glanced round, running her gaze over each of their faces with more interest than usual. She wondered if any of them had the slightest clue something wasn't right, if any of them would actually care if they did know. Finally her gaze rested on her Sergeant, and she relaxed the intensity of it, noticing him smiling at her.

"The smile doesn't get you out of last nights cock up, Sergeant Smith." Gina forced her tone to be light, a chuckle echoing around the room from the other officers as Smithy rolled his eyes good naturedly.

"Thank you for the reminder ma'am." He smiled. "Though it was more PC Stamp if I do say so meself."

"Don't bring me into it…" Tony raised his hands and shot Smithy a grin. "You were the one who insisted on bringing them in."

"They were threatening to push the traffic cone up the traffic warden's-"

"Thank you PC Kent." Gina cut Gabriel off, glaring slightly. "When you've all quite finished, we do have a briefing to get through."


"Ma'am," Smithy knocked lightly on the door to her office after the briefing. He stepped inside her office as she looked up, closing the door after him. "Are you…" he paused, trying to find the words, not wanting to appear 'soft'. "You look tired," he changed his tact. "Heavy night was it?" he grinned.

"Something like that." She sighed, knowing it would be much easier to blame how she was feeling on an excess of alcohol. "Did you want something?"

"Just to see how you were…" Smithy's concern was obvious and he moved slightly closer.

"I'm fine Sergeant." Gina said sharply, before apologising. "I'm just tired…"

Smithy frowned suspiciously, though decided not to push her further. "If you're sure…"

"I am." Gina looked down at her desk, pulling work over to her in an effort to show she was busy. "If that's everything…"

"Ma'am." Smithy sighed, turning and walking towards the door, glancing back over his shoulder before he left.

Once the door closed behind him, Gina released a shaky breath, sighing as she dropped her head to her hands, rubbing her forehead wearily.


'If tomorrow never comes, Will she know how much I loved her, Did I try in every way to show her every day, That she's my only one, And if my time on earth were through, And she must face the world without me, Is the love I gave her in the past, Gonna be enough to last, If tomorrow never comes…'

"Charlie!" Gina pushed open the door to the front office and frowned at the FDO as she sat leant over the desk, running her hands frustratedly through her hair as she read through a form for the 5th time in as many minutes. "Turn it off!"

"Ma'am!" Charlie leapt up turning the radio off, turning back to face her. "Sorry ma'am!"

Gina dismissively waved her hand, before searching through a filing cabinet. She had a soft spot for the young FDO after she'd become involved with Smithy, particularly after she'd given birth to Rebecca, their 7 month old daughter, who insisted that Gina was "Na!" "You look like I feel."

Charlie squeezed her a tight smile, shrugging lightly. "Busy day." She sighed. "Each time I try and finish the pile of paperwork left from Marilyn last night, I keep getting interrupted by people coming in, or the phone ringing."

Gina chuckled softly. "You are in a bad way." She smiled. "Heaven forbid someone interrupting you and asking you a question!" She scolded, her slight smirk letting Charlie know she was teasing.

"Anyone would think that was what I was here for!" Charlie nodded, mock pouting. "As if I don't have enough to do!"

"You must be rushed off your feet." Gina nodded, her tone dry as she looked around the almost empty office. "How's Rebecca?"

"Missing you." Charlie chuckled, before leaning against the desk. "There was something I've..." she paused and shrugged. "…We've been meaning to ask you."

Gina's eyebrow rose slightly and she leant against the desk. "Go on…"

Charlie's smile grew and she wrung her hands together, "I should wait till Smithy's here." She grinned excitedly. "But I can't!" She stood in front of Gina and beamed at her. "We'd love it if you could be Rebecca's Godmother!"

Gina took a slight double take, blinking at Charlie as she bounced in front of her. "Pardon?"

"Will you be Rebecca's Godmother?" Charlie beamed broadly, liable to fly at Gina and hug her at any point.

"Godmother…" Gina repeated, normally she'd agree in a shot for Rebecca, the one person who was able to slip completely under her radar and bring out an uncharacteristic softness in her. That was before…. "I can't."

Charlie's expression fell a foot and she swallowed hard, looking at Gina. "…No?"

Gina took in the hurt in Charlie's face, longing to say yes, "I can't." she repeated. "I'm too busy…it wouldn't be fair on her."

Charlie's expression darkened slightly and she shuffled, going back to her desk. "Of course." She muttered. "Nothing must come in the way of the job, must it."

Gina stood by the door, looking suitably stern. "Your comment has been noted, Ms Rogers." She said, before turning and leaving the office, heading to the relative safety of her own office where she sank back behind her desk, immediately reaching for her own brand of anaesthetic - a glass of scotch and a cigarette.