When candy goes bad or The attack of the left over mutant candy…

By Tenshijaki

Disclaimer: don't own don't sue blah blah blah – I will wash them off before I put them back hehe.

It was late in the afternoon at the Titan tower. Crime was at an all time low, who would have thought that, and our heroes had a lot of time on their hands. So much time in fact that they had: rearranged the furniture (so that's what happened to Beastboys pet turtle), cleaned out the fridge (something tried to eat them in the attempt), do all the laundry (really how many masks did Robin need anyway) and clean out all the closets.

Beast Boy had just finished his and found his hidden stash of Halloween/Christmas/Easter candy that he had stashed away. There were marshmallow Peeps mating with candy corn and an occasional candy cane fighting for supremacy with gumballs. We wont even mention what the chocolate bunnies were doing (shudder).

Everyone else was sitting around the main room doing assorted things: Cyborg was playing games, Robin was reading reports, Starfire was staring off into space with a silly grin on her face and Raven was reading a book.

"Hey guys look at what I found." Beast Boy proudly sat his box of mutant candy on the table. Cyborg and Starfire came over to look in the box. "Cool BB, but what is that Laffy Taffy doing to that Sugar Daddy?" "Um, I don't know." Beast boy laughed while putting his hand behind his head. "You want some? May as well eat it – would be a shame to just throw it out." Cyborg eyed the candy, "Uh, no thanks man – besides, I don't think you can just throw that out – I think it may require a haz-mat team." "What are you talking about, it looks fine." Beast boy lifted out a Jolly Rancher in a shocking color of puce. He then proceeded to take the wrapper off and put it in his mouth. If he thought he heard the faint scream of some poor soul about to be eaten by a large green menace he didn't let it show. "Hmm… I don't remember there being a grass flavored one…" "Yeah, that should be right up your alley, should taste just like tofu." Cyborg laughed as he headed back towards the couch and his paused game.

Starfire had been staring in the box the whole time watching the brightly colored candies wage war upon each other. She particularly watched the Peeps and admired their fluffy bodies and colorful coverings. "Friend Beast boy, I would like to have those baby animal shaped ones." "Sure Star, help yourself." "Weeeeeeee", Starfire lifted out the Peep army and carried them towards her room.

"Hey Robin, Raven, you want something? Speak now before I eat the rest." Robin looked up long enough to tell Beast boy how unhealthy all the candy was and then went back to his report. In reality that is not what he was doing, it only looked like he was reading his report but anyone who was watching him (in this case just Raven, because she watches everyone) would know he was on the same page he was when he started over an hour ago. So what was he really doing? Why watching Starfire of course, as if you didn't know.

Raven had yet to answer so Beast boy grabbed a candy cane out of the box and went over to her. He waved it under her nose until she finally looked up. "Here Raven, have a candy cane." Raven looked at the offered candy and thought she could make out little arms and legs. "No." Raven returned to her book. "Aww, come on Raven, have the candy cane, it wont hurt you."

Now any one who has been observing the candy could have told Beast boy differently but there you go. Raven could tell he was not going away. With a sigh she looked at him while encasing the candy cane in a black aura "How would you like me to stick this candy cane where the sun don't shine?" Now any normal, sane person would have let it go and backed away but while Beast boy had been called many things normal and sane were not among them. Wiggling his eyebrows Beast boy did his best sexy leer, "Is that a promise?"

Cyborg already had the pillow in the spot where he landed after Raven had flung him across the room. "Hey man, you had that one coming." Beast boy just got up and laughed it off. "I had to try dude." With that he made his way to his box of monstrosities, er, we mean candy cough cough and proceeded to eat the entire contents of the box in little under 30 minutes. It went some thing like this: wrapper sound munch munch squeal munch swallow wrapper sound munch whimper munch munch munch swallow and so on until all the candy was gone.

Finally after a loud burp Beast boy was able to say that all his cleaning was done and settled down next to Cy to have some good old fashioned game station time. They played for a few minutes until Cy couldn't take it any more. "BB, man stop, you're freakin me out." "What are you talking about, I'm not doing anything." Beast boy looked at Cyborg like he was crazy. "You were humming, so stop it." "I wasn't humming." "Yes you were." "No I wasn't." "Were" "Weren't" All of a sudden Beast boy began to hum again. It was the same tune he had been humming since he had finished his candy. "See," Cyborg pointed to him, "there you go again."

"Oh, woops, sorry." After he became aware that he was doing it he was able to stop. They resumed the game and after a few minutes Beast boy started to sing quietly under his breath. "whisper I want candy, uh uh uh huh uh uh uh, I want caaaaandy." He continued to repeat that over and over, like all annoying people who try to sing a song that they only know one line too. He progressively got louder as he continued until Cyborg knocked him upside the head. "Oww" Beast boy glared at Cy while rubbing the back of his head. Then he started laughing. "Sorry, I guess I ate to much candy and now I'm more hyper than the energizer bunny!" This sent him into more peels of laughter.

Cyborg shut off the game station and headed for the door. He was used to a hyper Beast boy and knew that it could, and probably would, get ugly. As he walked past Robin and Raven he gave them a warning, "Watch out, Beast boys high on mutant sugar. I'm seeking refuge in the bomb shelter, I mean the garage." Raven hadn't paid much attention, having reached a very engrossing section of her novel, but Robin had. He decided that it would be a good time to go check on Starfire.

Beast boy now had nothing to do. His cleaning was done and Cy had left him with no one to play the game station with so he looked around. He felt weird and couldn't quiet tell what was wrong with himself. He just couldn't contain himself, he had to do something. I was like he had cabin fever of the mind, he couldn't sit still, he felt like he needed to crawl out of his own skin. So he did the only thing he could think of. He knew it was stupid, because he had done it enough times in the past, but he found himself approaching Raven from behind. Being the only person left in the room she naturally became his target. 'Slowly, slowly, don't let her know your there, almost there…' Beast boy snuck up on his target intending to grab her by her sides and scare her. So intent on his mission he never even saw the remote for the TV on the floor until he tripped over it.

He knew he was flying in the air and was expecting the hard impact of the floor but what he fell on was soft and cool. "Beast boy." The tone said 'You are so dead.' Turning his head Beast boy realized what was soft and cool was Ravens thighs. Some how in his fall he had managed to land right in her lap, face first. And as all things embarrassing and humiliating need an audience, the powers that be provided one. Starfire and Robin walked in.

Duh duh duuuuuuhhhhhhhh.

That is Tenshijaki-ish for to be continued…

Maybe… if it gets support – or if I find a rehab center for addicts of blueberry candy canes…

An: this was not suppose to be multiparted, but as I wrote this blasted thing it just kept going and going and going…. I'm a bad author – I have no control over where this goes… as for the idea of mutant candy – well lets just say that I'm a hoarder myself and I came across my candy canes from Christmas and I don't remember them being that color… O.o I ate one any ways and now we have this story

Ps: like crack fics (fics that make you loose brain cells) and Hellsing? Check out my other fic – I've had great reviews like – 'who put the acid in your cheerios' ;-D hehe