Chapter 3 - Josh - Part I
"I wonder if you'll ever know
How much I think about you
With my heart"
(Descobrimento do Brasil by Legião Urbana)
Rory, Luke and Lorelai were in their way to the funeral. All of them were wearing black clothes and holding flowers on their hands. The cerimonial was simple, fast and sad. Her parents cried all time and everyone looked depressed. She must had been a great person.
Rory looked at a picture of Katlyn on the funeral, they were really alike. She was just as height as Rory, but she was a natural blonde with brown eyes. Her eyes were the lightest shade on brown, which reminded Rory about Jess' eyes on the pictures of him that she had seen on his apartment. He must have been happy with her. When the funeral was over Rory said goodbye to Luke and Lorelai and started her trip to Albany, where Josh lived.
In the way to Albany she started to remember how they had met Josh. Josh had hit on Rory on the first time he saw her. Rory said she had a boyfriend and Josh offered them to be friends then. Of course Rory accepted and they became good friends. Jess got know that Rory was friend of a guy who hit on her and asked her to meet him. She introduced one to the other and as funny as it could be the two men got along very well. They became even best friends if it was possible. When you get to know Josh better you learn he is kind of Don Juan, he's always hitting on women, no matter what. And Rory was just another girl until they got to know each other better.
He became some kind of bestman to the couple, even if they weren't married. Jess would always come to Josh when he and Rory fought or when he wanted to talk about their relationship. Josh would always come to the couple after a heratbreaking end of his relationship with the girl of the week. It would happen periodically.
After a few hours Rory could finally see the plate that said "Welcome to Albany". She drove in circles for another half hour until she finally found a big house a little far away from the city, where Josh lived.
As soon as she parked her car she noticed that there was just one other car parked near the house and it oblivious wasn't Jess'. She went to the door and rang the doorbell. After a few moments the door opened to reveal a tall, handsome man with messy blond-ish hair.
"My my, if it isn't my Ror", the smiling man said.
"Josh", Rory said leaning to give him a peek on cheeck, "I was never yours"
Josh smirked, "You'll always be mine. In some way."
Rory smiled. He remembered her another handsome boy. Tristan. They were really alike. If she didn't know him any better she would think they were brothers.
"But then again, just a few ways. When I met you you were already taken and as I always knew you will always be his in this 'other' ways."
Rory's smile faded. Josh noticed that and mentioned to her to come in and she did. They went to the kitchen and Josh turned his coffemaker on. They both sat across each other.
"So, why do I deserve the honor of this visit?", he asked already knowing the answer.
"Was Jess here?"
"You didn't come here just to visit me? Oh, I'm really hurt now Rory!", he said in mock indignation.
She smiled. "How long has he been gone?"
"A while", he answered, this time with some seriousness in his voice.
Rory nodded. "You think I could catch him?"
"I think you shouldn't try right now. You just got here, you must be tired. And besides, he left yesterday."
"You know where he went to?"
"Not really. But we both have a guess, don't we?"
"Gyn", she said as if it was general ackolodge.
"Yeah. They were always alike. They lived in New York, they were raised on the streets, they like lonelyness"
"He wasn't like that anymore"
"You know better than me that it was a part of him. It was his past and she was and still is the only person with who he can share it."
"Yeah, I know. It's just..I don't know. She..."
"You were always jealous of her."
"I was not", she defended herself.
"Yes, you were", he paused. "Because of her bound with Jess. A bound that you could never have. You could never be her or substitute her."
Rory was silent for awhile, just looking down at the table. Josh got up to serve their coffee.
"At least I was friendly with her." Rory said suddenly. Josh smiled, this was the old and good childish Rory.
"I am not saying you weren't. I was just saying that you were jealous. And it is understandable"
Rory smiled and admited, "I never liked her."
Josh smiled too. "I know. Jess knows. Everybody knows."
"Jess knows?" Rory looked a little shocked.
"Yeah. We always talked about it. Especially when you two fought."
"What did you talk about?"
"Jess could never understand why you were so jealous of Gyn. She was like his other half. She always anderstood him in the ways that you couldn't. He thought you would be happy for him. That he had found someone so alike to him."
"That's why I was jealous of her. 'She was his other half', 'She understood him in ways you couldn't'. I wanted to be her! I wanted to understand him in all ways possible! I wanted to be his other half!"
"You don't get it, do you?" He said laughing as how Rory didn't understand how things really were. "You couldn't be his other half. He loved you so much. He loved you more than he loved himself. Gyn was his other half, in the kind of life they lived in New York. That's why they were so alike and they understood each other so well. But you don't just complete his life, but you complete his soul as well. He loved Gyn as a sister, as he loved himself. But he loved you much more than he loved himself. Or Gyn for that matter. He never understood how you couldn't see that."
Rory's eyes were filled with tears now. If she blinked they would fall, so she kept her big blue eyes opened, staring at Josh. He smiled tiredly trying to break the ice that he had created telling her all this.
"Well, you'll stay here with me at least tonight, so...I'll bring your bags to the house. I guess you don't want to spend the night in my room, am I right?"
Rory just laughed in respose.
"That's what I thought. So I'll leave them in the guest room", he said. He kissed her forehead and passed by her side in his way to her car.
It was crazy that even after all this years of being apart she could still feel his love. She could still remember the warm feeling that make you feel complete and happy. She could still miss it. Just as she missed his kisses, his touch, his smell, his eyes upon her, his presence.
"Josh? Josh?"
Josh opened his eyes slowly to find a pair of blue eyes staring back at him. "Rory?"
It was 2 a.m. and she was knelt besides his bed.
"I couldn't sleep. I need to talk to you."
He smiled remembering the nights that she and Jess fought and she'd go to his dorm to talk about Jes for hours and hours. He pulled the covers up, mentioning to her to lie next to him. She did it just like in the old times.
"How is he?", she asked not looking in his eyes.
"Not good. Not good at all."
"Is he going to be okay?"
"Don't know. He was really odd when he got here. As he was a totaly different person."
"I know. His eyes"
He looked down at her. "I thought you two hadn't seen each other in a long time"
She looked up to answer him. "We haven't. I went to his town when I recieved the news and I saw some pictures of him. His eyes are completely different."
"Yeah. And he is devastated with her death."
"Did he... I mean... Do you think he...loved her?" Rory asked in a small voice, fearing the answer.
Josh sighted. "I don't know. I think you're the only one who can look at him and say if he is or was in love or not. You're the only one who can see through him."
Rory sighted and didn't say a word.
"What?", he asked.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore. What if I can't see through him anymore? What if we lost that, that thing we had?", she cried. "Josh, I'm afraid that I've lost Jess", she said sincerily.
He hugged her. "You didn't. I promise you, you didn't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because..."
"Because?"
"Because... when he came here a few days ago we talked about you"
Rory pulled away from his embrace, "About me?"
"Yes, kind of. I asked about you and he said he didn't know how you were with that sad face, but for a moment his eyes shone"
"Is it true?", she asked doubting.
He looked into her eyes and answered, "Yes".
She could see he was telling the truth, so she just cameback to his embrace and tried to fall asleep. She prefered to spend the rest of the night with just this one answer than with other questions or answers that she didn't really want to hear.
A/N: I hope you like it. Thank you for those who reviewed and please tell me that you think about it so far. I really need to know.Thank you
"I wonder if you'll ever know
How much I think about you
With my heart"
(Descobrimento do Brasil by Legião Urbana)
Rory, Luke and Lorelai were in their way to the funeral. All of them were wearing black clothes and holding flowers on their hands. The cerimonial was simple, fast and sad. Her parents cried all time and everyone looked depressed. She must had been a great person.
Rory looked at a picture of Katlyn on the funeral, they were really alike. She was just as height as Rory, but she was a natural blonde with brown eyes. Her eyes were the lightest shade on brown, which reminded Rory about Jess' eyes on the pictures of him that she had seen on his apartment. He must have been happy with her. When the funeral was over Rory said goodbye to Luke and Lorelai and started her trip to Albany, where Josh lived.
In the way to Albany she started to remember how they had met Josh. Josh had hit on Rory on the first time he saw her. Rory said she had a boyfriend and Josh offered them to be friends then. Of course Rory accepted and they became good friends. Jess got know that Rory was friend of a guy who hit on her and asked her to meet him. She introduced one to the other and as funny as it could be the two men got along very well. They became even best friends if it was possible. When you get to know Josh better you learn he is kind of Don Juan, he's always hitting on women, no matter what. And Rory was just another girl until they got to know each other better.
He became some kind of bestman to the couple, even if they weren't married. Jess would always come to Josh when he and Rory fought or when he wanted to talk about their relationship. Josh would always come to the couple after a heratbreaking end of his relationship with the girl of the week. It would happen periodically.
After a few hours Rory could finally see the plate that said "Welcome to Albany". She drove in circles for another half hour until she finally found a big house a little far away from the city, where Josh lived.
As soon as she parked her car she noticed that there was just one other car parked near the house and it oblivious wasn't Jess'. She went to the door and rang the doorbell. After a few moments the door opened to reveal a tall, handsome man with messy blond-ish hair.
"My my, if it isn't my Ror", the smiling man said.
"Josh", Rory said leaning to give him a peek on cheeck, "I was never yours"
Josh smirked, "You'll always be mine. In some way."
Rory smiled. He remembered her another handsome boy. Tristan. They were really alike. If she didn't know him any better she would think they were brothers.
"But then again, just a few ways. When I met you you were already taken and as I always knew you will always be his in this 'other' ways."
Rory's smile faded. Josh noticed that and mentioned to her to come in and she did. They went to the kitchen and Josh turned his coffemaker on. They both sat across each other.
"So, why do I deserve the honor of this visit?", he asked already knowing the answer.
"Was Jess here?"
"You didn't come here just to visit me? Oh, I'm really hurt now Rory!", he said in mock indignation.
She smiled. "How long has he been gone?"
"A while", he answered, this time with some seriousness in his voice.
Rory nodded. "You think I could catch him?"
"I think you shouldn't try right now. You just got here, you must be tired. And besides, he left yesterday."
"You know where he went to?"
"Not really. But we both have a guess, don't we?"
"Gyn", she said as if it was general ackolodge.
"Yeah. They were always alike. They lived in New York, they were raised on the streets, they like lonelyness"
"He wasn't like that anymore"
"You know better than me that it was a part of him. It was his past and she was and still is the only person with who he can share it."
"Yeah, I know. It's just..I don't know. She..."
"You were always jealous of her."
"I was not", she defended herself.
"Yes, you were", he paused. "Because of her bound with Jess. A bound that you could never have. You could never be her or substitute her."
Rory was silent for awhile, just looking down at the table. Josh got up to serve their coffee.
"At least I was friendly with her." Rory said suddenly. Josh smiled, this was the old and good childish Rory.
"I am not saying you weren't. I was just saying that you were jealous. And it is understandable"
Rory smiled and admited, "I never liked her."
Josh smiled too. "I know. Jess knows. Everybody knows."
"Jess knows?" Rory looked a little shocked.
"Yeah. We always talked about it. Especially when you two fought."
"What did you talk about?"
"Jess could never understand why you were so jealous of Gyn. She was like his other half. She always anderstood him in the ways that you couldn't. He thought you would be happy for him. That he had found someone so alike to him."
"That's why I was jealous of her. 'She was his other half', 'She understood him in ways you couldn't'. I wanted to be her! I wanted to understand him in all ways possible! I wanted to be his other half!"
"You don't get it, do you?" He said laughing as how Rory didn't understand how things really were. "You couldn't be his other half. He loved you so much. He loved you more than he loved himself. Gyn was his other half, in the kind of life they lived in New York. That's why they were so alike and they understood each other so well. But you don't just complete his life, but you complete his soul as well. He loved Gyn as a sister, as he loved himself. But he loved you much more than he loved himself. Or Gyn for that matter. He never understood how you couldn't see that."
Rory's eyes were filled with tears now. If she blinked they would fall, so she kept her big blue eyes opened, staring at Josh. He smiled tiredly trying to break the ice that he had created telling her all this.
"Well, you'll stay here with me at least tonight, so...I'll bring your bags to the house. I guess you don't want to spend the night in my room, am I right?"
Rory just laughed in respose.
"That's what I thought. So I'll leave them in the guest room", he said. He kissed her forehead and passed by her side in his way to her car.
It was crazy that even after all this years of being apart she could still feel his love. She could still remember the warm feeling that make you feel complete and happy. She could still miss it. Just as she missed his kisses, his touch, his smell, his eyes upon her, his presence.
"Josh? Josh?"
Josh opened his eyes slowly to find a pair of blue eyes staring back at him. "Rory?"
It was 2 a.m. and she was knelt besides his bed.
"I couldn't sleep. I need to talk to you."
He smiled remembering the nights that she and Jess fought and she'd go to his dorm to talk about Jes for hours and hours. He pulled the covers up, mentioning to her to lie next to him. She did it just like in the old times.
"How is he?", she asked not looking in his eyes.
"Not good. Not good at all."
"Is he going to be okay?"
"Don't know. He was really odd when he got here. As he was a totaly different person."
"I know. His eyes"
He looked down at her. "I thought you two hadn't seen each other in a long time"
She looked up to answer him. "We haven't. I went to his town when I recieved the news and I saw some pictures of him. His eyes are completely different."
"Yeah. And he is devastated with her death."
"Did he... I mean... Do you think he...loved her?" Rory asked in a small voice, fearing the answer.
Josh sighted. "I don't know. I think you're the only one who can look at him and say if he is or was in love or not. You're the only one who can see through him."
Rory sighted and didn't say a word.
"What?", he asked.
"I don't know if I can do this anymore. What if I can't see through him anymore? What if we lost that, that thing we had?", she cried. "Josh, I'm afraid that I've lost Jess", she said sincerily.
He hugged her. "You didn't. I promise you, you didn't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because..."
"Because?"
"Because... when he came here a few days ago we talked about you"
Rory pulled away from his embrace, "About me?"
"Yes, kind of. I asked about you and he said he didn't know how you were with that sad face, but for a moment his eyes shone"
"Is it true?", she asked doubting.
He looked into her eyes and answered, "Yes".
She could see he was telling the truth, so she just cameback to his embrace and tried to fall asleep. She prefered to spend the rest of the night with just this one answer than with other questions or answers that she didn't really want to hear.
A/N: I hope you like it. Thank you for those who reviewed and please tell me that you think about it so far. I really need to know.Thank you
