Before we begin this chapter I thought I would let you know that no, you have not seen the last of the candy… they bred. The Florida heat has fried my brain…

When candy goes bad or The attack of the left over mutant candy…

Tenshijaki

"Starfire knock it off." A vein had appeared on Raven's forehead and it was throbbing. Star was still happily prancing around, though what prancing actually entails we haven't a clue, singing songs about the 'it'. You know the 'it' it. Raven was feed up with her by this time, a whole 2.3 seconds having passed, and decided it was time to end it. She had two options. The first was to use her powers and knock Star upside the head long enough to get her attention, the second also involved her powers but included alternate hellish worlds and illegal use of duck tape. Ok, so she only had one option but she was enjoying the visuals of the second. Using her telekinesis she picked up one of her large books and aimed it for the side of Stars head. It took her three tries, since the red haired air head kept prancing about, but finally she managed to knock her hard on the head.

Picture if you will the human skull. Now, cut it in half. In your head people, we don't need any of you to blame us for a serial killer emerging. Now, you will notice that the human brain takes up most of its cavity in the head, with a small amount of room around it to cushion it should there be an impact, kinda like shocks for your wee little minds. This is true in all beings, except Star. Picture the same skull if you will but now enlarge the area around the brain. We know that Stars head is not abnormally large so shrink the brain… got it? Right, so she has about a good inch between her brain and skull. This enables her to take a very large blow to the head and have nothing bad happen. This also explains the 'air headedness'. She truly has a lot more 'air' up there. So as you can see Raven has a perfectly good reason for knocking Star upside the head to get her attention.1

Right, so back to the story. Raven had just whacked Star good. This had the added bonus of not only pleasing Raven but stopping the prancing and singing. Life was good. For a whole second. "Oh Raven, you know that I know of your feelings. There is no shame in them, and no reason to hide them any more either. You should find Beast boy and wet a plant on him." 2 This was not the way that Raven wanted the conversation to go. She wanted to get off of the 'it' and Beast boy topic. "Hey Star, didn't you come in here for a reason?" Normally Raven would do anything, including have a root canal, rather than have to listen to Star talk about Robin, but she had to get her on another vein of conversation. She already knew what the problem was. It was a simple math equation. Take one air headed space alien, add one 'oblivious to everything that wasn't a criminal' boy wonder, add teenaged hormones and angst, mix well and what do you have? If you guessed one annoyed Raven on a bed you were right.

Raven knew that the two were hot for each other but neither would do anything about it thinking that the other wouldn't or couldn't or shouldn't or any of the ould'nts return the feelings. Frankly she was ready to lock them in a closet somewhere and not let them out till they had played a seasons worth of tonsil hockey and won the Stanley cup. If it wasn't for Star being able to rip doors off hinges and Robins annoying ability to pick locks she would. "Yes friend. I have come to speak with you about… well perhaps now is not the time, seeing as how you and Beast boy are having… problems." "What did Robin do now?" Starfire looked at Raven in shock. "How did you know that I wished to discuss Robin?" "You only come to me about Robin, well and mucus but that was just that one time." Star sat down on the bed beside Raven and looked at the floor. Were to begin? "Well, I think that I have, that is to say I know that I have…," Star kept stumbling over her words. Raven took pity on her, she did do that from time to time contrary to popular belief. "You love Robin."

"Wha! How… I… er, that is… yes. I do love him." If Star had been expecting Raven to smile or come hug her and tell her how sweet it was or any of the normal things girl friends did with each other upon the finding of the 'love' she was sadly mistaken. Raven jumped up and did an uncharacteristic jig. "By all the stars in the night sky Star, it's about bleeding time. Do you know how many times I have just wanted to grab you by your shoulders and shake you? Now, all we have to do is get the stick out of wonder boys butt and then you two can finally stop driving me crazy." Yes friends, it appears that the true reason for Raven to want her two close friends and teammates to get together had very little to do with their own happiness. Apparently all of the moping, brooding, sighing, longing stares, hidden love poems, cheesy drawings done in secret, stealing of the others under garments, cough cough er, sorry where were we? Oh right, the general teen angst was driving Raven batty. And not in a good Goth way either.

"Robin has a stick up his posterior?" Naturally this would be the part of the conversation that Star would catch. "That must be terrible, we must go remove this stick." Star started to go for the door but thankfully Raven was able to stop her. You could just imagine what would have happened if she hadn't. "No, Star, Robin does not have any thing up… never mind, it was a figure of speech. What I meant was that he usually acts like an… oh Hades, why can't you talk normal like everyone else!" Raven threw her hands in the air, "Just, never mind, what we have to do is figure out a way to get him to admit he likes you as well." "Robin likes me as well?" Raven suppressed the urge to scream. "Star, you remember how I said some times I wanted to shake you?" "Yes." "Now is one of those times." "Oh."

Elsewhere…

"So, let me test my understanding. You and Raven decided that because Robin and Star weren't comfortable with you two, well you know, that you should break up?" Cyborg had been going over this for some time but he still apparently couldn't grasp the concept. "Yeah dude, that's the general idea." Beast boy didn't even have to pretend to sigh any more. Cyborg had kept him so long, going over and over this so many times, that his brain hurt. "Man, that is so bogus." Before Beast boy could object to the use of the word 'bogus', Robin came in. "What is bogus?" Cyborg answered before Beast boy could, "BB and Rae broke up because you and Star were uncomfortable." Robin stared at the two male titans for a minute. "What? Beast boy, is that true?" Beast boy had the decency to look embarrassed. "Yeah, it's true."

"That it totally unacceptable. Beast boy, go find Raven and tell her that I will not be the cause of the two of you breaking up. I will go…" Beast boy stopped Robin before he could finish. "Robin, dude, that's all cool and stuff but Rae won't go for it. She'll just use some other excuse. It's over dude. Completely hopeless." Beast boy did his best 'car just ran over puppy' look. "Hey, BB, don't look like that man, we'll find a way." Cyborg tried to cheer up his green friend. "Yeah, Cy's right Beast Boy, we'll think of something. I mean, its not that I was unhappy for you and Raven, it's just…" Robin let the sentence trail off. "Hey dude, I know. You just want to hook up with Star so bad that seeing me and Rae kinda reminded you that you didn't have her yet."

Robin stared at Beast boy opened mouthed. Was he that transparent? Everyone all together now. Yes. Cyborg saw his shock, "Hey, Rob, it's ok, everyone knows. Man, if clues were brains you would be drooling all over yourself coloring outside the lines if you get my meaning." "Yes, I get your meaning, thank you very much Cyborg." Robin growled as he walked over to a chair in the corner. "Since when have you become the expert on relationships any ways Cy? Since you hooked up with Bee? Or would that be Jinx? Or what about Kitten? I hear that you have a thing for blondes now." Robin really hadn't heard anything of the sort but he was desperate to get the attention off of him. "Well, what can I say… the ladies love the car."

Cyborg grinned at the two who were trying to pick their jaws off the floor. "Oh come on man! I don't do villains. You two should know better." If either of the two now relieved teens realized that Bee wasn't a villain and therefore exempt from the previous statement they didn't mention it. "So, what we have to do now is plan… BB needs to win back Rae and you Robin, need to grow a set and ask out Star. Any ideas?" "Well, we could just go ask them." Beast boy looked slightly hopeful. If he knew that Robin was doing the same with Star then he felt that he could finally tell Raven how he really felt. It's a mass group mind thing. Or maybe it's a boy thing. Moving on… "No BB, that's stupid. These are girls we're dealing with. It has to be more complicated. Right?" So the boys put their heads together and started to plan. It took them a while. A very, very long while. Finally they gave up, ate pizza and called Bee for help.

Elsewhere…

"You think I should do WHAT!" "Star! Calm down. It's really quite simple. Just go up to him, say 'I love you' and kiss him. He's a male. You complicate it to much and he won't get it." "But, but, I couldn't just… he would think badly of me… I… isn't there some other way! Oh! I know! You could give him a letter I write and it will say how much I like him and then you could tell me what he says!" Smack Thud Whack "Starfire. Are we in high school? I know we could be but we're much to mature for that! Now just listen and do what I say!" "But friend Raven. It didn't work so well for you…" "Well damn."

Back to the boys…

"Right. So here is the plan. We're going to throw a party, um… for what?" Robin was trying to be a leader, really he was, but this whole socializing and girls and relationships stuff was way out of his depth. "We're having a party for Bee's birthday remember… that's the cover any ways. And because Bee has a boyfriend she wants it to be a couples' only party. To go you have to be with someone as a date. Got it?" Cyborg had already it explained it to them about five times before but apparently stupid is catching. "Yeah dude, and you will ask Star to go, I will ask Raven and Cy, um Cy, who are you going with?" Beast boy looked at the metal man who just smiled. "Oh, I'll be there, don't worry, just get the girls to go with you." And with that the boys hatched their master plan. Would it be doomed to fail? Would the girls realize that they had just sent Bee birthday presents three months ago and there for it couldn't be her birthday again? Have we heard the last of all the mutant candy? Who knows… we don't.

Duh duh duhhh…..

Preview:

Robin found Star in the kitchen cooking up… er, something. It was pink, wiggling and seemed to have little green army men inside… but that couldn't be right. Right? Shrugging it off he went over to the table to sit and watch her. After a few minutes of babying her creation, which strangely enough included bottle feeding it, Star noticed Robin sitting behind her. "Robin! What are you doing there?" Star was a little shaken up. She had just finished her conversation with Raven not to long before and it was still fresh in her mind. Should she just go to him and confess? Robin didn't let her ponder to long however. "Nothing much, just, well I was wondering…"

1 No Starfires were harmed in the making of this fic. I have nothing against Star, really, but she is kinda an air head… work with me people! I feel that I bash all characters equally.

2 Plant a wet one on him (hahaha right?)

AN: I feel trapped in the same old… oh well… please tell me if you want to see something happen… if its reasonable, doable and I can make it funny then I will add it… I'm having a wee bit of writers block… maybe its just heat stroke… who knows. I don't think the story is funny any more… whaaaaaaaa… I'm loosing it… and I think I should rename it – the candy doesn't appear enough… that's what happens when you plan on a one-shot and it turns into this monster… oh well. Purple monkeys for all!