A/N: It's been a long time, hasn't it? Sorry about that. Anywho, without further ado, the next chapter.
Part 5"Savyna," I said as we walked behind Xelha and Kalas into Nashira. The smell of fish was particularly strong today. "Savyna, you have not spoken a word to me since we left Opu Village. And you've done nothing but glare at me. What have I done to deserve such ire from you?"
Savyna looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Besides releasing the greatest evil this world has yet seen? Nothing."
"But I didn't, I mean…I…my brother and sister…they—"
"Don't make up excuses, Lyude," Savyna said dangerously. "You know that this is all your fault."
I could not disagree with that last statement. "Yes," I admitted sadly, my shoulders sagging and my head hanging low. "Yes, it was my fault…my fault. I'm…sorry."
"Apologies shall not do you any good now, Lyude," she said, striding ahead of me. "This is some mess you've created and because of it, the rest of us are being dragged into it. You seem to have an affinity for getting into trouble and I'm tired of being involved in it."
"I'm sorry, Savyna," I said, looking up and brushing a few strands of crimson hair from my face. "Can you at least forgive me?"
Savyna stopped and looked sternly at me. "No. For awakening this god and bringing the greatest of evil to this place, I cannot forgive you. You are worthless. You are scum. You are lower than dirt upon the earth. You cause more problems than you solve. This world would be better off had you never been born."
She then walked off.
I flinched at every harsh word she had said. At the same time, everything she had said was justified, and she was right—if I had never existed, would Almarde have died so needlessly? Would Ayme have gotten that End Magnus? Would this great evil that was now here have been awakened?
I had created many problems, I realized. I understood now why I was so hated, so despised, why my own siblings loathed my very being.
Yet, were my mistakes any reason for Savyna to behave with such hostility towards me?
"Lyude?" came Xelha's concerned voice, snapping my mind back to reality. At least there was one person who seemed to care about me. "Lyude, are you alright?"
"I'm just…I'm…" I sighed. "Yes. Yes, I am fine. I was simply pondering the current situation."
Xelha smiled sadly. "You think too much. I really worry about you."
I tried to smile back and lay a hand on her shoulder. "I am grateful I have at least one friend."
"Hey!" Kalas called from up ahead. "You guys coming or what?"
"We're coming, Kalas!" Xelha called back and then turned towards me once more, gently squeezing my hand with her own. "I don't know why the others are behaving so rudely to you, but I promise I will always be there for you even when they are not. Now come, let's go find Gibari."
"Kalas! Nice to see you again, buddy! And Xelha, Savyna! What're you guys doing here?" said Gibari, playfully slapping Kalas on the back. I thought it odd that he did not say my name. Was it out of animosity or had he simply not noticed me yet?
"Lyude's here, too, Gibari," Xelha answered.
"How are things in Diadem?" I asked.
"Nice to see you, too," Gibari replied, but the way he said it sounded forced. He gave me a strange look—an accusing look.
Now Gibari was angry with me? What was going on? Yes, I had awakened the god. Yes, the reason the world was under the shadow of the greatest embodiment of evil was because of me, but what right did he and Kalas and Savyna have to be so hostile towards me? Had the idea of forgiveness not crossed their minds?
"Let me guess why you're all here," Gibari said, folding his arms and taking on a more serious demeanor. "It's about this mess Lyude's caused, isn't it?"
Xelha seemed taken aback for a moment. "Well…yes, but how did you know it was Lyude who released this present darkness?"
"How else?" Gibari looked both smug and irritated. "Every major problem in the past was due to his actions. He tossed the End Magnus to Ayme. He got himself exiled. He—"
"Stop it, Gibari!" I shrieked angrily. The whole of Anna's bar ceased it's activity and turned it's eyes on me.
But I ignored them.
"I was exiled because I was fighting for the people of Azha. Where is the wrong in that? I was defending their lives! It wasn't my fault I tossed the End Magnus to Ayme! I was under hypnosis! I admit I did release the wicked god—"
Everyone in the room gasped.
"—and I could have stopped it, but I'm truly sorry for what I've done. Is that not enough? You've made a plethora of mistakes in the past, too, I'm sure. So why are you so bent on blaming me?"
"Yes, Lyude, I've made mistakes, but I don't think all of them combined could equal the ones you've made. What you've done—releasing this…plague upon us—that's something that you won't easily find forgiveness for."
"Do you know what, Gibari?" I said through gritted teeth, shoving his shoulder with my fingertips. I could feel everyone watching with baited breath. "I had never respected you. You have always gotten on my nerves what with all your boasting and bragging every time we were in Diadem—just as you're doing now!"
"Lyude!" Xelha cried, stepping between us. I could not ignore the astonished look on her face. It was as if I'd just said that I was the one who had murdered Almarde. "What's the matter with you?"
I felt my face harden into an enraged grimace. "What's the matter with me?" I raged. "Shouldn't you be asking that of the others? They're the ones who refuse to show forgiveness and compassion for me. I always thought in the back of my mind that I would do better without them and now I see why. They hate me just as everyone else does. What can I do but return that hatred?"
For a moment, Xelha did not reply and only stood staring open-mouthed at me. "Lyude," she finally said, quietly, "this is not like you at all. I'm appalled that you'd say such things. Why, Lyude?"
For the first time, I noticed there was pain in her eyes as she spoke to me. All of the sudden, I felt a great shame wash over me and I was no longer angry. "I…I don't know," I croaked. "I don't know why I just said those things, Xelha. It was as if something had taken control of me. I am just…weary of hearing so many accusations against me."
By now everyone in the bar had returned to their business.
"I understand, Lyude, but still, I have never seen you behave in such a way before," said Xelha.
I sighed remorsefully. "I know. I know."
Then Kalas interrupted, "I hate to break up this little 'moment' you're having, but don't you think it's about time we got going? We still need to find Mizuti."
"Yes, of course," Xelha answered back. "You're coming with us, aren't you Gibari?"
Gibari shrugged. "I've got nothing better to do. I might as well."
"Good," said Savyna. "Let's get going. We've got no time to lose."
"I wish we'd never been dragged into this in the first place," Gibari growled as we left. He gave me an ill-favored look.
