"I want you to know that I still remember

I even wanted you to be here

You're still a part of what makes me strong

And to be honest just a little unhappy

But that's okay

There it comes, there it comes, there it comes again

I think I'm in like with someone

And it's you, who I'll never forget" (Giz by Legião Urbana)

Jen and Jack - Part II

That night Rorywent to bed feeling weird. She wasn't happy or sad, she was just relieved that finally she had finished something that wasn't meant to be, she had been caring a burden, lying and pretending that she felt something that she didn't. at least not for Mark. Trying to remember when she had fallen, she ended up realizing she had never fallen in love with him. And thought now she felt lonely, it wasn't different from how she felt while she was with him.

Lonely, it was such a diffecult feeling to deal with. She could still remember how lonely she felt when he left her for the first time. Sh efelt guilty too, for letting people think he was the on eto blame for her broken wrist. He had left by his own choice, thinking it was what she wanted him to do. But it became pretty clear for everybody what she wanted when she went after him in New York.

Then he was back, but not together, only after that Dance Marathon they had finally let themselves be together. She remembered how akward it was at first, anyway, they worked things out. But life has the weirdest ways, and once again he saw himself as a failure. So he did the only thing he knew how to do; he ran away. No 'goodbye', no 'see youa round'. He just packed his stuff, got into the bus and then he was gone.

Of course it had hurt him. He called her from time to time, wishing he had the courage to speak up. The truth was he knew he would never say anything. He just called because he wanted to hear her voice. He wanted to be sure she was okay, that she was there, that it all hadn't been just a dream, their relationship had really happened. It hurt her too, maybe even more. Thought she kept pretending to everybody it was all fine and that she didn't care that much that he was gone, she was dying inside. Somehow it seemed to be her fault, and at the same time it was totally unpredictable and it could only be his fault.

When he came back a few months later she couldn't believe it. Her life was all planned out and as soon as he showed up she was completely lost again. Completely in love.

First she ignored him, pretending he didn't make any difference. Then she started picking fights with him, showing him all her anger. After that they started talked again like friends. And finally they startde dating again. When fall arrived he went to Yale. He was so smart and he was trying so hard to be a good student, as if it could make it up to her in some way, that he got to graduate with Rory.

But she could never forget the unsettling feeling in her stomach during that four years after he came back. She knew he was there, but she could only wonder for how long. Cosing her eyes, the memory came vividly in her mind.

Flashback

The sky was blue. It usually would make her happy but right now she was mad at him. She read her watch. 16:57. He should be here almost half hour ago. She liked to sit in that bench, in the middle of the campus, and just stay there, watching everybody. But when he was late she couldn't even notice if it was crowded or empty. It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was if he was there, if he would come. That really bothered her. Would he come? He always did and she would always sight in relief. But she couldn't help but to remember the time that he left her and went to California. It was a short time, he came back a few months later saying he regreted it and he missed her way too much. He had talked to the principal of Stars Hollow Hight and repeated the last year. Eventually she told him she had forgiven him for leaving. And truth she thought she did. But she couldn't forget how miserable he made her feel. And now everytime he got late she would freak out and start wondering if he had left her again, if he got tired of her or found out he didn't want her anymore. Her rational side knew he wouldn't do that, that it was crazy of her to even think about it and that they were happy together, but what if?

Someone kissed her cheek and she pushed teh person away. She looked at the person's face and recognized Jess. She was deep in thoughts she hadn't even heard him get close to her. Frowing for a moment, she then threw her arms around his neck hugging him and dragging him down to the bench.

"Whoa! Someone is happy to see me", he teased.

She ignored his comment and didn't let go of him. He noticed that and pulled away a little bit to look at her face. Her face was said, her expression unnatural and as soon as their eyes met she started crying. He pulled her back, hugging her tightly, trying to quit her pain.

"What happened?", he whispered in her ear.

"Nothing", she responded between sobs.

He closed his eyes, "Rory, you can tell me. Ehatever it is, you can tell me", he said reasuring her.

She took a deep breathto calm herself down and shiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I just...it's...sometimes I get really mad at you", she laughed, knowing she was making no sense.

He looked at her even more confusedm, "What did I do?"

"Left", she said simply, looking down at her hands.

"What? What do you mean?", he asked in a low voice, not sure if he really wanted to hear her answer.

"It's not about you...not really. But since the time you left me to go to California, everytime you get late I start to wonder what's happening in your mind, what are you doing, if you are going to leave me again..."

He sighted. He definitely didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to pass through all this. But he knew he had to, for Rory's sake.

"Okay, we need have to talk." He sat by her side at the bench and took her hands on his. "Look, when I left- it was because everuthing was wrong for me in Stars Hollow. I didn't graduate, our relationship- we were having problems, I mean, it was not you, it was me. And then my father showed up and I really wanted to get to know him, you know? And I was so confused and messed up. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't really know what you meant to me back then and how much I would miss you until I left."

She looked at him shyly. "I know. I'm not blaming you or charging you or anything. But I can help to feel this way sometimes."

"Feel what?"

"Insecure", she answered blankly. "I know it's not your problem."

"Actually it is. I made you feel this way. You shouldn't ever wonder if I would leave you suddenly."

"Jess", she looked him in the eye, "just tell me you'll be here. That's all I need to hear right now."

"I am and I will be here for you. I will only leave if you want me too. I promise." He pulled her close and hold her.

Their date forgotten, he guided her to his dorm, in which they talked and talked and talked. He told her to ask everything she wanted to know about him and California so they could figure things out and move on. She did as she was told to, she asked why he left without saying goodbye and why he took so long to come back and if he ever regreted it. She asked everything she knew she would never have another chance to ask. And he answered her, evenly and honestly.

End of Flashback

After that afternoon they never talked about the subject again. It was resolved and finished, it was dead. And there was no reason to bring it to live again.

She turned in bed thinking about that afternoon. So many feelings exposed, so many truths revealed. She could only imagine how hard it had been for him, to let her in that way, to tell her things. It was childish of her, but she just knew he had never opened up so much for Kaitlyn and that he probably never would to anyone else.

Next morning Rory packed her bag and went to the kitchen to find Jen and Jack having breakfast. They looked at her bag, already knowing she would leave early that morning. They would like to have her there, just like it was back in college, but they knew there was something more important that had to be done.

"Thanks for having me here and for the wonderful pasta."

"Sure, darling. Calls us when you find him, okay?" Jack said, hugging his friend.

"Call me when you get back to Stars Hollow, I want to catch up, right? It was good to see you again." Jen told Rory, also hugging her.

"Sure. I'll call you two. Thanks for everything", she took her bag again, ready to leave. "Oh, by the way, do you have any idea where he is going?"

Jen looked suspiciously at Jack. "Didn't Jack tell you?"

Jack looked at Jen with apologetical eyes.

"Tell me what?" Rory asked, looking from one to the other friend.

Jen turned her attention back to Rory. "Jess said something about going to Stars Hollow. Sorry, I thought you knew."

Rory was shocked. "Jack, how could you not tell me this? How could you let me stay here while he is going to my town?"

"Because I thought it was for the best. I think he would like it that way. Sorry, but I know you understand it", he paused. "Now, go. You have to go find you guy."

She hugged Jack again, "I get it."

"Bye guys. I have to go...find my guy."

A/N: To smile1 for her kindness and to StephieM because she wrote the sweetest review, thanks. Please, review. It would be great to know what you think about it. And yes, Jess will show up in the next chap.