A/N: Remember that Snape doesn't know that Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter are called "the Marauders"…it makes it difficult for story writing though…

Disclaimer: I wish I owned HP…and the Marauders…


(chapter four)

Several months passed, filled with difficult O.W.L.-level classes, Quidditch matches (in which Gryffindor were now favorites for the Cup), and in Severus's case—avoiding the four Gryffindor boys who loved teasing him to the point of insanity. Even Remus was secretly helping Sirius with jinxes when the teachers weren't looking. It wasn't even like Severus could go to a teacher either. Who would they believe? Certainly not him…

Christmas holiday was coming closer and closer, and like every year, Severus signed up to stay at Hogwarts. He didn't want to go home. Why would he want to, not with the screaming, shouting, and insults that went on. Everywhere he went in Hogwarts, though, it seemed like everyone was excited to head home for the holidays. Severus felt a hole inside of him. He never really got to enjoy that kind of happiness because he had never known a home to return to during Christmas.

Much to his dismay, Sirius, Remus, and Peter (because Peter always did everything his three friends did) were all staying too. James hadn't signed up. Severus guessed he was going home to his "wonderful" family. But that was just one out of the four—the rest were staying. Why? he thought miserably. They must have perfect homes to go back to…why stay here? For a brief moment, he thought he would have a couple of weeks away from them…I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up.

It was the last day before the holidays were to begin and Severus was in the library. He had been finishing up his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay when he heard whispering from behind him. He turned his head slightly to see, through the gaps of a bookshelf that stood there, two figures talking. Curious, he scooted his chair back a little and found he could pick up on their conversation.

"Please? It hasn't been a problem before." Severus recognized that it was Sirius Black's voice. Sirius continued, "I just…don't want to be left here."

The other voice, which belonged to James Potter, replied, "Look, I'm sorry. I told you, my parents won't budge. We've got this huge family gathering this year for Christmas and my parents are really tense. They don't want me to bring back friends." There was a pause. "I'm sorry, Padfoot."

Another silence followed.

"At least Moony's staying, huh?" Sirius sighed. "You're lucky, you know? Your family actually wants you."

Severus gave a start. What? Was he hearing this correctly? The charismatic Sirius Black was unwanted by his family? Why? It didn't make sense. And who was Moony? Severus thought it was childish for them to be using nicknames for each other. Is that why Sirius had called James "Prongs" the other day? And was that where Sirius was going for Christmas holidays for the past four years—to the Potters?

Madame Pince was walking around the library now, ready to kick out all ne'er-do-wells. Severus scooted his chair in and finished off his essay. After he packed up this things, he hurried out of the library to avoid Sirius and James.

Part of him was ecstatic—he now had something to use against Sirius! But the other part of him…What was that feeling? Was it pity? No, he thought firmly. Why should I pity Black? Severus shook the thought from his head. There was no need for him to pity someone who hated him

Severus was walking away from the library when he herad Sirius behind him, "Oy! Snivellus!" Sirius caught up with him. James wasn't with him. "I see you got rid of the Bundimun stench." Severus tried to ignore him and kept walking. Sirius stopped him. "You're staying at Hogwarts, aren't you? Well then, this year I'll be sure to send you an extra Christmas present!—I reckon you don't get any!" Sirius sneered.

Severus stopped. "I'm guessing neither do you, Black," he retorted, his cheeks starting to flush.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"You're not even wanted back home," Severus continued. He found that once he started, he couldn't stop. "And this whole time, you were trying to appear popular by bragging about your great Christmases—you don't even go to your own home! You have to go to Potter's filthy—"

Sirius had cut him off by slamming a fist into his stomach. Severus doubled over and Sirius whipped out his wand, pointing it at him.

"Don't," he said through gritted teeth, his face heated with anger, "insult my friends."

Severus knew he had hig a nerve, and even though he was on the ground in pain, he smirked.

Before either could do anything, a voice from the other end of the hallway called, "Hey, you two! What's going on down there?" It was Lily Evans.

This was not how Severus wanted Lily to find them—Powerful, cool Sirius Black, holding a wand at him while he was on the floor. He didn't want to appear weak, yet in this situation, he did.

Sirius tucked his wand away. "Ah, Prefect Evans! I was just teaching Snivellus here a few things."

Lily walked over towards Severus. "Are you alright?" she asked. Her stunning emerald eyes were filled with compassion. Severus saw it as pity, one thing he hated. He stood up quickly.

"I'm fine," he muttered, glaring at Sirius.

"It'll teach you not to insult my friends," Sirius said, annoyed.

Lily snapped her head to look at him. "You don't have to hit him, you know!"

"He said about James—"

"Oh, don't even start that!" Lily said, exasperated. "You and James Potter are so full of yourselves!"

Severus smirked. "You gonna hit her too, Black?"

Sirius glared at both of them and then stalked off.

Lily turned back to Severus. "He's kind of an idiot sometimes, huh?" she asked, grinning. Severus shrugged and she continued, "I mean, he's popular, sure, but he's got a lot of things going on too." She lowered her voice. "He's not as arrogant as he seems, trust me."

Severus wanted to say something back, have an actual conversation, but instead what came out was, "I don't need you to defend me, Mudblood."

Lily stopped, her enchanting eyes now furious. She opened her mouth as to say something, but thought better of it and stormed away.

Severus hadn't meant to insult her like that. But his pride got in the way. He hated himself as weak, but he knew he was. That's what his father had pounded into him…You're weak, Severus. Act like a man, Severus. He had built himself a wall to deflect any kindness or sympathy that someone might show to him because if someone was sympathetic towards him, it meant he was obviously showing weakness. And that was a big "no" in Severus's mind.

Wait, thought Severus, as he headed back to the common room. Why should I be grateful towards Lily Evans? True, he thought about her a lot in ways he probably shouldn't, but she was a Mudblood. And if people like her started standing up for him, then he would be weak forever.

(end chapter four)


A/N: Only 2 reviews?...TT I hope that if you're reading you'll give at least a little bit of feedback to if you liked it or not…pretty please? Thanks!