Yuki didn't stay for the rest of the event. Eriol sent Li to let him know that if he wanted to go home to rest, that it would be fine. Li sent Meilin back to the classroom, after a bit of a hissed discussion she agreed.

"Yuki, I know that we haven't really been keeping you up to date on this amulet thing…"

"Right." Yuki leaned back against the wall and stretched his long legs over the cot.

"Do you want to know more? Do you want to hope that this will work?"

"Why do you care about this? What do you get out of it?"

"Cynical are we?"

"Lets just say that I haven't had much in my life to suggest otherwise."

Li sat on the edge of the bed, his gaze on his hands which he linked together between his knees. Yuki just stared at the window, large gray clouds were moving swiftly into position.

"I believe that I have this gift for a reason. To balance my soul, my power, and my life I have to use my magic to help others. My family has spent countless generations in perfecting this gift, just as your family has spent generations controlled by a curse. It makes an awful amount of sense that somehow our paths would collide to rectify a mistake that had been made when both our families were young. At this moment I am the culmination of all the Li family has learned about martial arts and magic. Now I create new magics that have never been dreamed of because of a new factor. Sakura."

"What does this have to do with the Sohmas?"

"I'm saying that before Sakura I don't think there would have been even a hint of a chance to change your fate. I'm saying, that if you trust us… we can help you."

"Trust you?" Yuki turned to look Li in the eye, Li met his gaze evenly.

"Yes."

"Trust is a very small commodity in this family."

"Then wait, and see the future you could have hadslip between your fingers because you're afraid to take this on faith. You have to believe us Yuki, or everything will all be for nothing." Li had never felt like belting anyone so much in his life. He struggled to keep his voice calm."Eventually every spirit must be captured, or the entire cycle will start again."

"Do your experiments on Kyo, leave me out of it."

"We need a balance Yuki. And you're going to need to figure out what it is you lack that would somehow balance you without the RAT." Li snapped, tired of the boys depression. "Snap out of your self-pity and take charge of your life for once." he got to his feet and stalked to the door.

"You think you have it all figured out don't you!" Yuki got to his feet, one hand clenched around the bandage on his opposite wrist.

Li took a deep breath and let it out as he walked over to Yuki. Quick as a snake his hand shot out, grabbed Yuki's wrist and tugged the other boy off balance. Yuki landed on the bed and watched, panting, as Li walked out the door.

After a minute of watching the door in disbelief he looked down at his wrist and frowned.

It didn't hurt anymore.

Unwrapping the bandages he swore under his breath, cursing the day Kyo ever introduced him to these people. They confused him. They made him think things were possible, great, wonderful things. Dancing in the moonlight. Just being with someone, and holding that person close.

He didn't even realize as he pulled the last layer of bandaging away and tested the smooth, unbroken skin with a tentative finger, that a tiny tear drop fell from his eye to the palm of his hand.


He had just pulled himself together when Tohru slid open the door.

"Yuki?" she asked hesitantly.

"Tohru…" he sighed. As much as he loved the girl, he didn't think he could handle another confrontation that day.

"Li-san told me that you were going to go home."

"Yes. I'm going to take it easy today."

"Maybe you should take a nap or something… you look tired. I can go home with you, make you something to eat?"

"Tohru, not right now." Yuki snapped, instantly regretting it.

"Oh… ok." she slid out of the doorway when he was about to call her back. But he truly didn't have the energy for it anymore. He got to his feet, straightened his clothes and walked out the door to head home.


He was swirling, lost in the blackness. That crack! The screams! Begging… always beginning… why didn't anyone stop him? Why? A hand. A single thought of a hand reaching out… why did it seem so utterly useless. Blood reaches…pools by fingers and under a cheek laid on cold concrete. Why was he so alone…Maybe…

"Maybe I deserve it." Yuki woke, he didn't scream or thrash at the feel of sweat beaded on his forehead. He wasn't trapped. The images in his head played over and over again, repeating the nightmare endlessly. But there was a warmth. Her laughter played out in his ears as his eyes relived pain and torment. Somehow it was soothing.

He needed tea. He got up from his nap and looked at the clock. It was almost dinner time, he couldn't believe he fell asleep like that. Rain steadily beat against the window.

"Gods, I'm acting like the stupid cat, a little rain and I'm down for the count." but knowing that Kyo was most likely laying in his bed and wouldn't be out of his room for dinner somehow made Yuki feel better about it. "At least I can walk straight when its raining." he scoffed to himself. He almost skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen. Tohru was standing at the stove mixing together something that looked like moss and red pepper. He had no idea what it was, but he knew he would love it.

"Yuki, you're up." Tohru smiled gently, "I thought you'd sleep the rest of the day."

"Sleeping was a good suggestion, I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"That's all right. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the store with me, but you looked so cute sleeping like that." she forced herself to smile. She had been up just a few minutes before, he had been shaking and crying in his sleep. She touched his shoulder to distract him and just about ran out of his room when he stirred, not wanting him to know that she knew about his nightmares.

"You should have woken me up." he shook his head, maybe if she had then he wouldn't have remembered… "I would have gone with you, help you carry things." he struggled to keep his voice light and unemotional.

"Yuki…" she paused, took a half step toward him as he set the tea pot down on the stove.

"What?" he smiled. But it was an empty smile, one that she knew from when she first moved in. He was hiding from her, and she couldn't stop herself.

"I know!" she blurted out.

Yuki blinked. "Know what?" his voice was soft, but the fear and nagging anger behind the cage wall was shaking it.

"You haven't slept without nightmares since I've known you! Sometimes they aren't bad enough to make you scream in the middle of the night… sometimes they are…" she forced herself to look him in the eye, it never occurred to her that she was probably the bravest person in the world at that moment, facing down the curse and Yukis own raging storm.

"Tohru…" Yuki had no idea what to say. He started to back away from her and then forced himself to stand.

"Just tell me what I can do to help! I want to help you Yuki!" She stepped forward and grabbed his arms, as close as she could get without turning him into the animal he despised.

"There is nothing you can do for me Tohru." he muttered, "I shouldn't even know you… Akito was right, you're just going to end up hurt."

"Akito is a bastard, he just said that to hurt you today! He wanted you hurt so you would close yourself off again!"

"He told me you would never be able to return my feelings. He tells me this every time I see him." Yuki lifted his eyes to pin hers. "And he was right, wasn't he?"

"Yuki…" Tohru whispered, then followed him as he turned away and stalked to the outer door. "Yuki! Look at me!" she snapped as he opened the door to the porch.

He turned and walked out into the rain, watching her the entire way. She stepped out onto the porch and watched as the darkness swallowed him. Suddenly terrified she stepped out of the light from the door and ran to grab his arm.

"Tohru, I love you." his eyes were wide and pleading, all she wanted to do was gather him into her arms and rock him like a child. Give him comfort, and receive it in return, but he was lying. If not straight out, then by some way he didn't realize, and she couldn't let him do that.

"No, you don't Yuki." she ducked her head and shook it from side to side. Her hair dripped as the rain fell, soaking them both. She could only pray that it continued and Kyo would stay inside, asleep as the cats melancholy consumed him.

"Yes, I do, Tohru… I know what you're thinking…"

"You couldn't be close Yuki. What I'm thinking is that at this moment you're scared. So you came to me because I'm safe." she smiled and placed her hands on his cheeks.

"Safe? Tohru…"

"No. Listen to me. You're not in love with me. I've known this for a while. You love me, like a sister or a cousin, but you're not in love with me. Trust me, Yuki. One thing I've learned since I started living here is how to gauge emotions. Yours are so huge Yuki," she dropped her hands to his shoulders and shook him gently. "But you lock them up so tight that even you sometimes misinterpret them." She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest, clenched at the collar of her shirt. He just stood, blinking at her, he could almost hear his heart drop into the acid in his stomach. "You're in love Yuki," she shook her head, "but its not with me."

The rain began to slow as they stood there, both frozen in the hole of silence that had suddenly been created between them. The drops fell indiscriminately and as Tohru took a breath one dropped on her nose.

"Tohru…"

"You have two options right now Yuki. Come inside and pick a fight with Kyo, which will be easy considering the weather, or you can go to your garden and think for a while… which is what I know you'd rather do. " she turned back to the door and started inside, "We're having salmon tonight, be back for dinner."


OHHH! I'm SOOO mean to leave you with a depressed Yuki! I know! I know!

But the good news is...

I'm DONE!

so one chapter a night till the end and we are almost there! woooohoooo!