Disclaimer: I own nothing, blah blah, standard disclaimer.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
Blaise suspected that he was causing himself permanent brain damage, but truthfully, he didn't care. He continued pounding his head into the table and whimpering. It should have been impossible. He thought his control was too great. But no, the impossible had become the inevitable.
Luna Lovegood was driving him completely and totally mad.
He'd tried to ignore her ramblings after she'd completed her work, he'd truly tried, but it had proven to be incessantly penetrating. Blaise tried his relaxation techniques that always worked when he practiced Occlumency, with no avail. After those failed attempts, he'd attempted logically proving the creatures she was so eagerly babbling about, and the plots as well, were preposterous. It just did not seem possible to convince her though.
Hence the pounding of his head into the desk.
"-and the Snorkacks-" Thud."-are also supposed to be very territorial-" Thud.
Bleeding hell! She was still talking! He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at the words under the hand. Sure enough, it read, 'Surrounded by idiots.'
"-also have green fur, but the females' fur is more of a lime green, while the males'-"
He slammed his head harder into the desk. He had a feeling the rest of the Library was staring at the table in confusion or sympathy. He felt an extreme need to rip something to ribbons. Like a certain blonde Ravenclaw who was still blathering about bloody fucking Snorkacks!
"-horn is actually hollow-"THUD. "-they can blow through it-"THUD. "-causing-"
Grasping for any way to get away from the irritating chit, he finally interrupted. "I'm afraid, my dear Miss Lovegood, that I must be off. I have most pressing business to attend to. It was a..." he found himself forcing the word through gritted teeth. "A...delight... to have this conversation with you." Now kindly leave me the bloody hell alone! He thought to himself as he all but sprinted out of the Library.
Once in the corridor, he found himself breathing heavily and almost sobbing with relief. Checking to see if his lapse in demeanor was spotted, the Slytherin decided to go to the most calming place he knew.
Oh, the irony of that destination...
"Blaise."
The young man made no reply besides a light snore.
"Blaise." The girl tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Wake up, you git."
Blaise turned his head and drooled on the table slightly. The girl sighed exasperatedly and began to shake him. "Wake up, you asshat. You've got an owl waiting on you."
Blaise blindly swatted her hand away. The girl growled. He never woke up when he had to.
'Thrice-be-damned little shit,' she thought. She looked around, saw a perfect opportunity, and as a Slytherin, used it. She held her tool high above her head, and with all her strength, brought it crashing down.
SLAM
Blaise jerked back, completely awake now, and found himself falling backwards as he tilted too far in his surprise. "SWEET BLOODY FUUU-!"
CRASH
Blaise groaned as he sat up and glared. "Dammit, Daph, you couldn't have woken me up without injuring me, just once, could you?"
Daphne smirked, holding a thick text. "Of course not. If I did, you'd have to ask if I were feeling well, you arrogant fuckwad. And my convincing you that I am, indeed, fine, would take far too long." She grinned. Well, for her it was a grin; to anyone who didn't know her, it'd seem like a baring of her teeth. "Anyway, you've got a meeting with Snape. About the family business."
Blaise sprang to his feet, still glaring. He quickly gathered his belongings, and sprinted out the Slytherin Common Room. Daphne smirked, primly sat on a couch facing the entrance and began counting quietly to herself. "…9…10…11…12…"
Blaise burst back into the Common Room, stalked to her, and held out his hand. Through gritted teeth, he snarled, "Might I have my trousers back, please?"
She gave an innocent look. "Whatever are you talking about? I've no idea what you are speaking of." Her eyes traveled down, and her voice took on a false shocked tone. "My word! You've ventured out into the halls half-naked! How could you, Blaise!" She cocked her head to the side. "Nice boxers, by the way. Is that silk?"
Blaise snarled. "Daph. We're in the dungeons. It is very cold. Hence, I am very cranky. Return my pants, or I will carve out your tongue with a toothpick, a lemon, and some of Draco's 'happy juice'."
"Fine, fine." She reached under a cushion and handed them to him. "You should know better than to fall asleep in here anyway. What'd you expect to happen?"
He glared as he put the pants back on. "You do realise I'll take my revenge, don't you?"
The young woman shrugged. "I'd think less of you if you didn't at least try."
With a final obscene gesture, Blaise exited the room again.
He stared up at silvery eyes in shock and pain. He felt his hands shake, but he didn't care. There was absolutely, positively, and in every aspect no way this could be happening to him. It was statistically impossible for him to have this much bad luck, especially within a period of only a few days. He had a feeling that were he to get on his knees and cry to the heavens, "WHY ME!", that some Divine Being would reply, "Because there's something about watching you suffer that I find really funny."
Upon leaving the Common Room, Blaise had been assaulted by the female Weasley, who seemed to be trying to follow in her older brothers' steps and torment passing Slytherins. When Filch came running down the hall, and Weasley wisely making a retreat, the Sixth Year was blamed for the mess of scorch marks and dung, and only avoided a detention when another over-excited Dungbomb went off in the next hall over. When told rather firmly to stay put, Blaise quickly ran to a cul-de-sac behind a statue of Morte the Macabre, where he cleaned off his robes with a hasty Scourgify. The smell was simply too awful for him to stay where he was (plus Filch was always annoying, so he had no real reason to stay), so off he went to his meeting with his Head of House and uncle. He was promptly admonished for getting caught, despite his protests that he had done nothing.
The next day, he was stopped by Professor McGonagall, who scolded him for running through the halls. After a brief interrogation as to why and where he was running to, he was again on his way to Snape's office. Why he had the Slytherin Common Room and his office on opposite sides of the castle were beyond Blaise. He privately suspected it was to give Slytherins a chance to get some exercise before meetings or detentions. Snape had accepted that reason, as it was another professor intervening.
The day after that, as he passed the kitchens, he was bombarded with pies, water balloons, and flatulence by Peeves. This did nothing to improve Blaise's mood during the week, and caused his right eye to begin twitching again. Pulling his wand on Peeves, he spat at least a half dozen curses at the poltergeist. At least 3 passed through him and created a strange dripping goo on the ceiling. The other curses caused Peeves to swear and fly off. His uncle was not amused at this excuse, either.
Why, oh sweet Merlin why, did his uncle see fit to try to play mentor to him? Why did his mother have to send that letter, saying keep watch over him? And most importantly, why was that annoying Ravenclaw, Lovegood, staring him at during meals?
Blaise prayed for an easy end to this jaunt to his uncle's office that morning.
Naturally, as he turned the corner leading to the Potions dungeon, he plowed into someone, causing them both to fall and spill the other person's papers across the floor. He grunted as the other person collapsed atop him. Apparently, they'd been moving with more force than he had. His head hurt from hitting the floor.
"Ow." He reached and felt the back of his head. No blood, but it hurt like hell.
"Oh, hello." He opened his eyes to see too-wide silver eyes looking back at him. He'd run into none other than Loony Lovegood. She was lying atop him, her cheeks slightly flushed, presumably from the collision. "How are you feeling? I hope I didn't hurt you too badly, but I was chasing a nargle. I wanted to try to draw it. I don't suppose you saw it on the way?" He shook his head. "Oh, well. I'm sure I'll find another soon." She pushed herself up so she sat just above his thighs, her hands on his chest.
Blaise started at this. Bloody hell, if someone walks by, they'll think we're having sex! Especially with her sitting on me like that! ...she doesn't look half bad in that position and her face flushed, though…Wait, what! What the fuck are you thinking, Blaise! She's a loon, a nutcase… An attractive woman dangerously close to my bits! No, stop thinking like that! Gah, must get away! With a force of will acquired from his Occlumency training, he pushed away those thoughts. "I'm fine. You?" He asked in a tightly controlled voice.
She nodded and stood, moving to the side. "I'm fine. I had a cushion."
He snorted as he pushed himself up. "I noticed." As she began gathering her papers together, he reached down and helped her. She stared at him for a moment, actually blinking for what seemed to be the first time since they ran into each other. He handed her the papers, feeling slightly unnerved by her look, and the thoughts that remained behind from her being on top of him. "Well…er…sorry, Lovegood. For ramming into-RUNNING! Running into you!" He felt his face redden as his subconscious supplied images of her atop him again, sans clothes. She seemed to find this amusing, as her mouth quirked into what could only be called a smug smirk. This was even more unnerving to Blaise, and he stammered out, "So…um…yeah…well…uh…g'bye." He turned away and dashed down the hall.
"Zabini!" Her voice rang out. Almost cringing, he faced her again. "Snape's office is that way." She jerked a thumb behind her.
He blinked. Then blinked again. "Oh. Right. Thanks." He passed her and headed into the hall containing the Potions dungeons. It wasn't until he passed the third dungeon that he thought, How did she know I was going to Snape's office?
TBC. Eventually.
A/N: I'm currently changing things around in my head as to what this story will be about. In all honesty, I don't know how it's going to end. Hopefully it'll add to the telling.
Anyway, on to technical stuff. Luna may seem out of character, but I've got a good reason behind that. I'm not saying what that reason is, as it may change. I don't know, but it's working so far. As for Snape's office being on the other side of the castle, all it mentions in the books is that the Slytherin dormitories are in the dungeons, as is Snape's office.
This will end up being a Blaise/Luna, though it may take a while, and the Blaise in my head says "Just one woman? What the hell?" So expect a myriad of ships. And as you can tell, Blaise is suffering from attacks of hormones at odd times. He's at least 16 at this point, so why not?
So, review if you want, don't lynch me for annoying you with crushed dreams, and remember to do something random at least 3 times a day.
